STORM: IT'S A CURSE TO REMEMBER

by Gurpreet Kaur Sidhu

  “How about I pick you up tomorrow around six-ish for dinner?” he asked as they reached the front of the house. “I’ll take you to my favorite restaurant, Niki’s.”

  They faced each other, Shadow still feeling a little bit of shame for what happened earlier.

  Shadow thought. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

  Evan reached out for her hands and held them in his. “Why? ’Cause of him?”

  She searched in his eyes. Evan made her feel the most comfortable yet it all seemed too surreal. She remembered the look on his face when he was crouched on the bathroom floor, putting a bandage over her cut. He cared for her more than she could comprehend and that terrified her. She didn’t want anything to happen to Evan.

  “Yes, and your grandma’s vision.”

  “My grandma’s vision isn’t always correct. I promise you, nothing’s going to happen.”

  “You don’t know that Evan,” she insisted. “Don’t you understand how evil he is? I don’t believe he has an ounce of humanity left in him. Your grandma’s vision couldn’t be closer to the truth. He will kill you.”

  “Then I’ll fight him.”

  Shadow was frustrated—Evan didn’t comprehend what she was saying. “Evan! Can you please listen to me? I’m being serious here.”

  “I am listening to you,” he reassured her. “I’m just not going to let anyone dictate what I can and can’t do with my life. I respect your concerns but if I want to have dinner with you, then I should be able to without having to worry about what’s going to happen next. And so should you, if that’s what you want.”

  Shadow smacked her forehead. “You just don’t get it, do you? I’m not exaggerating—”

  Evan pulled her closer to him. “What do you want? Do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow and enjoy a wonderful evening or do you want to stay cooped up inside in fear? Huh? Which one is it?”

  Shadow studied his eyes. Even though he wasn’t smiling, she could tell how happy he was. She let out a heavy sigh. “You’re crazy. You’re absolutely crazy.” Shadow slipped out of his arms and turned toward the door.

  “So I’ve heard.” He chuckled.

  Before she could get any further, he pulled her back in. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  She shot him a confused look.

  “I don’t get a goodnight?”

  Shadow looked into his eyes, reaching for his soul. With the faintest voice, she said, “Goodnight.”

  He kissed her on the top of her forehead. “Goodnight, Shadow. I’ll see you tomorrow at 6:00.”

  She opened the door and looked back with the slightest smirk. “Okay.”

  He waved goodbye and walked back the path alone after she closed the door behind her.

  ***

  That night, as Evan lay in bed wide awake, all he could think of was the similarities in Shadow’s life now and in the previous life. She was married to Derek, who made her life a living hell, and now she was escaping the same life. Even now, escaping didn’t help much. She was being followed, watched, and tracked, and so was he. She was still living in fear just as she was in her previous life.

  After a while, going about it in his mind over and over about the same thing, Evan finally concluded that he was the only person who could help her. Mr. Jingles is all I have, her voice echoed.

  Slowly he drifted into a deep sleep, dreading to be woken up by another memory.

  Chapter 18

  Push!” yelled the midwife. Samantha’s head rested on a pillow, her legs spread wide as she lay on her bed covered with towels. Her hair was drenched in sweat, and beads of sweat trickled from her forehead to her eyebrows.

  The midwife peered down below, telling Samantha once again to push.

  Samantha grunted as she did what she was told. As she squinted, using all her strength to push, she could see Derek standing in the corner next to the bathroom.

  Derek appeared glum. He brought his arms up to his chest and crossed them. He knew his life was torn apart by Samantha’s infidelity as she was giving life to Adrian’s baby. His brother’s baby. He hadn’t felt this much betrayal and hurt in his entire lifetime.

  This was supposed to be their baby. Instead it wasn’t. Even though he’d forgiven her, he was still torn about the decision he’d made.

  “You’re almost there. Just give me one more push!”

  Samantha, out of breath, grabbed on to the towels and craned her head upward and pushed once again. It was all the energy she had left within her.

  Then there was a cry. That magical cry.

  The midwife looked up at Samantha, who was spent and gave her the news. “It’s a boy!” The midwife smiled as she cut the umbilical cord. She wrapped the cord and put it aside. Then she proceeded to clean the baby boy.

  Samantha’s heart pounded with exhaustion. She breathed and cried with happiness. “Can I hold him?”

  Derek could see the smile that surfaced across her face when she asked to hold her son.

  The midwife looked in Derek’s direction, almost as if she was asking for permission. He nodded as his hands slid in his pockets.

  Samantha saw their exchange, but didn’t think anything of it.

  After cleaning the baby, the midwife wrapped him in a blanket and handed him to Samantha.

  Samantha held him and tears of joy ran down her cheeks. After longing to meet her baby, the time had finally come. He was the tiniest human being she’d ever seen. He looked at her with his big blue eyes, a head full of light brown hair, and rosy lips. He continued to stare as she stared back, smiling. It was the most beautiful moment Samantha ever encountered throughout her entire life. She managed to laugh as she held his little hand.

  The midwife started to stitch up Samantha while she enjoyed her time with her newborn.

  “Hi,” she whispered to him with a wide smile. “I am so in love with you, little one. You are so precious.” She sniffled and giggled. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

  Samantha’s smile slowly turned into a frown. She started to shed tears, overwhelmed with the joy. It had been a long time since someone other than Adrian made her heart dance with joy.

  She smiled again, thinking about all the wonderful times they were going to have together. She would teach him how to draw, color, sing the alphabet, read, dance—everything a mother was supposed to do.

  “I already have a name picked out for you.”

  The baby looked back at her, forming what looked like a little smile. It almost seemed as if he understood what his mother was saying.

  Derek and the midwife exchanged looks. He nodded at the midwife, who had been casually watching as she gathered her things. She approached Samantha, holding out both arms.

  Confused, Samantha’s lips parted in the midst of asking a question but before she could say anything, the midwife had already taken her son from her arms.

  The midwife looked at Samantha, feeling guilty for doing this, but she had been given strict orders and if they weren’t abided by, her husband would receive her head on a silver platter for dinner.

  Samantha’s stomach turned into a knot. Her heart started to break, piece by piece. Everything in the room seemed to move rapidly. Her heart pounded louder and louder, and she couldn’t hear what Derek was saying to the midwife as she was on her way out. She wanted to scream for help, but the words were lodged in her throat.

  Her baby was being taken away from her and Derek had everything to do with it.

  “Wait, wait!” she mumbled through her sobs as the midwife walked out of the room. “Come back!” she begged in the faintest voice. “Please,” she managed to say, “come back with my baby.”

  Derek shut the door behind the midwife. He faced the door, knowing what he’d done was the best, for both of them. He slowly turned around, with his hands in his pockets, thinking.


  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, the rim of his eyes now pink.

  She looked at him but he was blurry through the tears. Her lips quivered as she wailed. She covered her eyes with both of her hands, not wanting to look at him.

  He minced toward Samantha. He was concerned for her. Derek knew this was the ultimate hurt. But he loved her. His eyes started to well up with tears, but they only reached the surface as he controlled himself, not wanting to get too emotional.

  He knew sending away her baby wasn’t right. Part of it didn’t make sense, but then there was another part that made him see the reasoning of all of this. If he had let Samantha keep her baby, the child would grow up in a home where love once existed. He didn’t want the child to grow up with a father who would lash out and then snap back like nothing ever happened.

  When Derek saw Samantha hold the infant, it brought back memories of his childhood and the way he lived his life from shelter to shelter. And then from home to home when his foster parents could no longer take care of Derek because of his sudden outbursts and violence. He remembered the pain from not being wanted, from being rejected by his biological parents, who didn’t want anything to do with their own flesh and blood. Adrian was their beloved child, the good one. He always seemed to get everything Derek wanted.

  There was also a part of Derek that feared of being left alone. Samantha had become his savior the moment she walked into his life; the only way he knew Samantha would stick around was if she was constantly in fear. It was the only way he learned to keep anyone around. Fear kept people on their toes. It’s what made Derek powerful.

  Derek sat beside her, knowing she would hate him for the rest of his life until he died, and that he was okay with. As long as she never left his side, which she wouldn’t, he was okay with her hating him.

  Suddenly…

  ***

  Evan sat straight up. He wasn’t terrified, nor was he drenched in sweat like all the other times he remembered something from the past. His eyes darted toward his alarm clock: 3:30. His heart sank as he replayed the memory of Samantha giving birth only to have her child be taken away from her. Evan shifted to the side, his hands planted on the edge of the bed, as his feet touched the floor.

  There were so many questions that no one had the answers to, and that gutted him. What happened to the baby? Where did he go? Did he kill Adrian? Why was Derek so intent on making sure Samantha never experienced happiness? What made Derek like this?

  Evan took the clock and threw it across the room. He felt helpless. Why was he so cruel to Samantha? Why did he remember this? What was the meaning behind this memory? He took a pillow and shoved his face into it, screaming at the top of his lungs.

  He wanted this nightmare end. He didn’t want to remember what he’d done to Samantha. This wasn’t who he was now.

  Evan staggered across the room and picked up his alarm clock. It was hardly damaged as he examined it all around. He placed it back on his nightstand and proceeded to the bathroom. After taking a leak, he shuffled through his dresser and pulled out a gray hoodie. Using both palms, he rubbed his face up and down, trying to look alive.

  The neighborhood was silent and the streetlights made everything lively. He plunged his hands into the deep pockets of his sweater, leaving the hood hanging down his back.

  Exhaling, the water vapor in Evan’s breath condensed into little droplets of liquid and ice, forming a tiny fog, disappearing into the thin air. He stood at the end of the curb, looking up at the night sky, alone with his thoughts.

  He recalled the night where he’d sat with Shadow on the curb. Maybe you can help me. Those words hadn’t left his mind.

  At times, he failed to understand how life worked. The good people somehow ended up with lives that seemed unfair. Evan realized why someone in Shadow’s position would rather kill themselves than live another day of torture and misery, but that wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

  He looked up, seeing the stars were just little specks of dots from the corner of the sidewalk. There were so many uncertainties out there in the universe; no one had the answer to everything. It wasn’t possible. The human mind was capable of comprehending to a certain extent, and the rest was just a gray area, yet to be understood.

  With what he knew so far, Evan began to think of the future. Earlier conversations with Venice and Shadow started to curdle. As long as he stuck around with Shadow, he was already on his deathbed. And it was something that didn’t sink in just yet. A part of him still believed Shadow’s ex was incapable of killing him and Venice’s prediction could be wrong. If the odds were in his favor, he’d live…but looking at the bigger picture, karma was waiting for him around the corner.

  Other than losing both parents at the age of four, his life had been pretty mellow and easygoing up until this point. So maybe this was how he was going to pay for torturing Samantha. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, it did make sense and he would have to come to terms with it at some point.

  Evan inhaled a deep breath as he tried to divert his mind to other thoughts that didn’t revolve around Shadow or his past. The essays sat on his desk that needed to be graded but procrastinating and working on the garden pushed the duty far down the list of things to do.

  With the tip of his shoe, he kicked around a tiny rock. In the last few days, life had become overwhelming.

  “Why are you up so late?”

  He turned around, and saw Mr. Brar. He was wheeling down his driveway to the sidewalk, wrapped in a black cotton robe and blue silk pajamas. He wore a white turban and his oxygen tank hung off the side of his wheelchair.

  Evan smirked. Seeing Mr. Brar was always a delight.

  “Couldn’t sleep. Why are you up so late?”

  “Same. I think I had too much coffee before I went to bed. I read for a little bit, hoping I’d fall asleep, but when I looked at the clock it was 3:30. Tried to fall asleep but couldn’t. So I thought I’d come out and enjoy the silence.”

  Evan nodded, feeling they shared the same boat.

  “What’s on your mind, son?”

  “Ah, nothing really.”

  “If there is one thing I can share with you is that we can worry and think all we want, but at the end of the day, what’s going to happen, it’s gonna happen. No matter how hard we try and stop it,” he said, letting it resonate in Evan’s mind. “So.” He cleared his throat. “What’s on your mind?”

  Evan sighed. “I told you I’d been having dreams of my previous life, right?”

  He nodded. “You sure did. I think it’s insane you can remember stuff like that. I can’t even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. It’s a blessing, you know?”

  “A blessing and a curse in disguise.” He chuckled. “The woman I was married to in my previous life is my next door neighbor,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “And I’m in love with her.”

  “But—” Mr. Brar started.

  “Venice warned me not to get too close to Shadow because she had a vision. At first she didn’t sound so serious, but yesterday she came by and told me she’d seen me dead in her vision. Then later, when I was having dinner with Shadow, she told me how her psycho ex-fiancé is a part of this secret agency and he’d been keeping tabs on the both of us.”

  Mr. Brar felt like he was hit by a truck. Everything he observed on Knight’s Drive was making sense now.

  “Basically, I’m a dead man as long as I keep seeing her.”

  Mr. Brar’s mind was brought back to the time he’d worked for the agency and the things he’d done. If an agent got ahold of Evan, he was indeed going to end up dead. There was no way Evan would survive at the hands of an agent.

  “This secret agency she mentioned,” he said, locking eyes with Evan, “she didn’t say anything else?”

  “No, not that I can remember.”

  “I see,” he said, his words trailin
g off. His eyes traveled to the lighted part of the sidewalk for a bit before he turned his attention back to Evan. “If you want my advice, I would suggest staying away from the girl. She’s telling you her ex is an agent and keeping tabs on you…that’s dangerous,” he said. “You’re too young to die, Evan. Die for a greater cause if you want, but not for this.”

  Evan sighed. No one seemed to understand him.

  “As a Sikh, wouldn’t you say if someone had the ability to remember who they were in their past life, it was only for a reason?”

  “Yes,” Mr. Brar responded, getting a hint of where this conversation was heading.

  “Then why would I meet Shadow just months after I started having the dreams?”

  “It could all just be a coincidence, son. Your dreams of your past life could serve as a reminder of what not to do in this life. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to put your life on the line. There’s more than one way to look at this.”

  “True, but she’s in danger. And when you know someone needs you, you don’t walk away like a coward afraid of what will happen to you in the process.”

  Mr. Brar was taken aback by Evan’s reasoning. He couldn’t have been more proud to see the little boy he saw growing up to be such a warrior. But he couldn’t let Evan do this. There was so much of life Evan was supposed to experience. Reunite with Bruce. Get married. Have kids. Grow old with the love of his life. He was too young to go and it was going to break his heart just as much as anyone else’s if Evan’s death came too soon.

  “I think you should listen to your grandmother. She knows what she’s talking about. It’s going to tear her apart if she found out what you were up to.”

  Evan shot back with a quick response. “But I have to do what’s right—”

  “How do you know this is right?” he asked. “You have a choice and you’re not making the smart choice. Life is about making smart choices.”