Torrid Little Affair

by Kendall Ryan

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Corinne

  I’d given him everything. I hadn’t meant to, of course. But Cooper owned every part of my body, my soul, my thoughts, my smiles, and even my heart—even though I’d promised us both that could never happen.

  The truth was I’d fallen for him, desperately. And worst of all? He still didn’t know the truth.

  I hated myself that I’d let things get this far, that I’d never grown a pair and actually told him, explained the whole sordid mess like Mauve had encouraged I do.

  “Corinne?” Alyssa’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, pretending I was focused on something on my computer screen. “Of course. Why?”

  I attempted a smile, but it felt wrong on my lips. My stomach was queasy and my palms were sweaty. If Alyssa thought something was wrong, Cooper would know in an instant. He’d read me like a book from day one. Best to avoid him today.

  Alyssa’s features scrunched up in disbelief. “Because I asked you three times if you want to try that new sushi place for lunch, and it was like you were far away or something.”

  “Sushi sounds great. Sorry, I was trying to get through these invoices.”

  Thankfully, she nodded and didn’t press me further, which was rather unlike Alyssa. Normally, she was like a dog with a bone, but maybe something in my solemn expression told her to leave it alone. And for once, she did.

  We worked in silence and later went to lunch together, where she kept the conversation flowing about the semi-annual sale she’d shopped over the weekend, updating her wardrobe for a steal. I was only half listening, shoveling bites of cucumber roll into my mouth, even though I wasn’t hungry. In fact, it was a wonder I got anything down at all. My nerves were shot.

  As I sat there in the bustling sushi bar, one thing became abundantly clear. I had to cut Cooper from my life. One quick, clean slice. Rip off the Band-Aid. Sure, it would be painful at first, heart-wrenching even, but as the months passed, I felt confident Cooper and I would fall into a rhythm again as boss and employee, and nothing more.

  It was the safest thing to do for everyone involved.

  My phone buzzed in my hip pocket, and I pulled it out, revealing Cooper’s name. Ignoring his call, I went back to nodding along to whatever Alyssa was saying.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Cooper

  “Corinne called out sick again.”

  “What do you mean?” I demanded, but Alyssa only blinked back at me.

  “She said she’s not coming in. Whatever she’s got must really be bad.”

  I tightened my jaw, trying to tamp down the wave of nausea that rolled through me. “I’ll say. That’s the fourth day in a row. Anyway, thanks, Alyssa. You need me to get you a temp to pick up the slack?”

  “Nope, I’m good,” she said with a sympathetic smile. “Just thought you’d want to know.”

  Alyssa stepped from my office and closed the door softly behind her just in time for me to let out a low breath. I couldn’t understand it.

  Calling out of work was one thing. People got sick. But there was something else going on here, something far worse. Corinne had stopped responding to my calls and messages. And now she wasn’t coming into work, either?

  Those were some serious hoops to jump through to avoid me, which she was definitely doing. But what I couldn’t understand was why.

  Our night together on Saturday had been . . . well, beyond amazing. I’d thought about it nearly every free second I had all week, and even some I didn’t. It consumed my thoughts. Her body had been so yielding and soft, so willing and responsive, and when I’d slid into her, I knew that she wanted it as much as I did. Not just the sex but the intimacy, the closeness we’d been working toward these past weeks. I wasn’t delusional. She was feeling all the same things I felt.

  But it hadn’t stopped her from slipping out in the morning before I’d woken up.

  Spearing a hand through my hair, I shook my head and blew out a sigh. Was it something I’d said? I supposed I could have scared her with my declaration of intent, with my need to be with her. But she’d said she wanted that too.

  That she couldn’t have it, but she wanted it.

  And what did that even mean? She was a young, beautiful woman with her whole life ahead of her. What was holding her back? I knew, of course, about what had happened when she was in foster care, but if that was what she needed to work through, I would go to counseling with her. I would do anything I could to make it right between us, and by now she had to know that.

  So, there was something else, something beyond a fear of commitment. There had to be.

  The workday dragged by, and I felt frustrated and more uneasy with each passing hour. By the time five o’clock rolled around, I couldn’t sit still any longer. I stepped from my office and made my way down the hall toward Quinn’s door. I knocked, and when there was no answer, I opened the door to find his office empty.

  My stomach squirmed with the slightest trace of guilt, but I made my way toward the filing cabinet all the same. Opening the drawer for personnel, I thumbed my way to the manila folder with Corinne’s name on it.

  Like with all the core staff, I’d read her résumé when she was first hired, but I looked it over again, trying to find some clue of what she might be hiding. All the details of her schooling and prior employment checked out with what she’d told me. There were some awards and training she’d never mentioned, but that was normal.

  Sighing, I set the sheets down on Quinn’s desk, ready to resign myself to the mystery once and for all, when another piece of paper slipped out of the file folder. I bent low to pick it up and spied Corinne’s neat cursive writing, stark blue against the white sheet, a medical insurance form.

  I glanced at it briefly, ready to slide it back where it belonged. But before I got the chance, I caught sight of something that sucked the air from my lungs.

  Two little boxes rocked my whole world. One empty, one checked off.

  For a second, my brain couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing, and then it became all too real.

  Corinne was married.

  My head reeling, I glanced lower and found her spouse’s information filled in with that same tidy handwriting.

  Aaron O’Neil.

  Her roommate.

  The man she’d been so desperate that I should never meet. The person she refused to discuss. He was her fucking husband.

  Sucking in my cheeks, I shoved the papers back in the file and slammed the metal drawer closed, my heart surging in my chest.

  “Aaron fucking O’Neil,” I muttered through gritted teeth.

  But it wasn’t enough to rage quietly to myself. I had to make sure she knew what I now knew myself—that she understood what she’d done to me. How, without even trying, she’d made me fall in love with a woman I could never have.

  “Son of a bitch,” I murmured under my breath, stalking from my brother’s office and making my way back to my own sanctuary. Slamming the door behind me, I ripped my cell phone from my pocket and scrolled to Corinne’s number.

  Beneath the series of unanswered messages I’d left, I added a new one.

  You’re. Fucking. Married.

  I typed every letter with all the force I could muster before hitting Send and shutting the phone off. Let her sit with what she’d done for a while. Let her know what it felt like to be ignored and avoided.

  I was through.

  What a fucking idiot. God, how many times was I going to let someone do this to me?

  But as much as I tried to compare Corinne to the other women I’d loved, I knew the truth. There would be no bouncing back from this one. No searching for love again. Corinne had broken me.

  Within a matter of seconds, my door opened and Gavin appeared, his brows knit together. “What’s going on? Did you mean to slam your door? I—”

  “She’s married,” I choked out, raking a hand throu
gh my hair.

  “What?” Gavin took another step inside the room before shutting the door after himself.

  “Corinne. She’s fucking married.”

  “What?” He blinked. “Are you serious? You can’t—”

  “It was right there under our noses.” I slammed a hand against my desk. “She put him on her medical insurance and everything. How did none of us notice that?”

  Gavin shook his head. “How could we have known? Benefits handles all that, and I wasn’t about to tell them you were sleeping with one of our employees. We would have been crazy to even think—”

  “Except we didn’t think. And she is. Fucking married.” I gritted my teeth again and scrubbed a hand over my stubbled jaw. “She’s been avoiding me. Talking about how she wants to be with me but she can’t, and now I know why. She’s using me to cheat on her poor fucking husband.”

  Gavin took a deep breath. “Look, let me call Quinn. We’ll bounce early and spend some time at my place. If you want, I can tell Emma to go out with her friends for a while and—”

  “Don’t bother. I’m not going to kick your wife out of her own home. It’s all right if she’s there. I just need to blow off some steam.”

  I gathered up my things and followed him out of the office, my guts churning as we got into his town car.

  Once the driver pulled the car onto the street, Gavin sent a quick text, then reached for the bottle of whiskey he always kept in the icebox. Taking one of the cut crystal glasses from the shelf beside him, he poured a healthy measure and then handed it to me.

  “Drink,” he commanded.

  “I don’t want to drink,” I said. In fact, I didn’t want to do much of anything except find Aaron O’Neil and apologize for sleeping with his wife.

  God, what a nightmare I’d gotten myself into. And all because I hadn’t learned my lesson the first time. This was what I got for letting my heart guide me.

  Never again.

  “I didn’t ask if you wanted to drink. I told you to drink. We’re going to handle this the way Kingsley men do. With alcohol and self-loathing.” He poured himself his own glass, then clinked it to mine before taking a swig.

  It wouldn’t solve anything, but right now, I was willing to go along. Anything to dull the throbbing pain in my chest where my heart used to be. I followed suit, swallowing hard as the liquid burned its way down my throat.

  “So, what do I do?” I asked after the last of my drink was gone.

  “What have you already done?” Gavin asked.

  “I texted her and told her I knew . . . in not so many words.”

  “And where is your phone now?”

  I sighed. “I left it at the office. I just can’t deal with that right now. I don’t want to hear her excuses.”

  “Good decision. Tonight, we’re going to let boys be boys, okay?”

  We pulled up in front of Gavin’s high-rise and made our way quickly to the penthouse. When we stepped inside, we found Emma and Quinn already there, sitting in the sunken living room, chatting quietly about something I couldn’t hear.

  Based on their expressions when they turned to look at me, though, I had a pretty good guess.

  Emma stood instantly before sweeping across the room and kissing her husband on the cheek. “Hey,” she said, then moved toward me and kissed me on the cheek too.

  “Hi.” My voice sounded gritty. “Nice to see you.”

  And it was. In spite of everything we’d been through, when I looked at her now, I felt . . . well, nothing. I loved her, yes, but only because she loved my brother and took care of him.

  Because now that I’d been with Corinne?

  I knew what love actually felt like. What it was to want to be with a person so badly that you could hardly breathe when they weren’t around.

  The truth was I’d never felt that way about Emma. I’d found her attractive and interesting and kind, but she didn’t light me on fire the way Corinne did. She didn’t make me want to stay up all night peppering her with questions just so I had a little more of her to carry with me throughout our moments apart.

  Emma squeezed my bicep. “I was going to order pizza, and then I’ll give you guys some space. Have a favorite topping?”

  “Don’t let him pick. He’s an anchovy guy,” Quinn said.

  “Then he’ll get his own pizza with extra anchovies.” Emma grinned. “Sound good?”

  I nodded and she slipped from the room, her cell phone in hand, leaving me alone with my brothers.

  Quinn stood up and made his way to the bar cart. Without asking, he poured three measures of Gavin’s best bourbon and held them out to us. If Gavin minded, he didn’t say as much.

  “So, there’s no need to tell me what happened. Gavin took care of that,” Quinn said. “Tonight, we don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

  “I don’t know what there is to talk about.” I took a seat on the sofa. “She’s married. I can’t be with her now. Even if she did leave her husband, how could I ever trust her?”

  Quinn nodded, then took a sip of his drink. “I know.”

  I turned to Gavin. “You should tell Emma she doesn’t have to hide. I don’t mind if she’s around.”

  Gavin shook his head. “I know that. I just think it’s better if it’s the three of us tonight. Now come on, let’s drink like we mean it.”

  Quinn clinked his glass to Gavin’s and the three of us settled in, discussing business, sports . . . anything and everything except for the state of my love life.

  I knew they were trying to distract me, and sometimes I did find myself laughing or talking about the old times. But more often than not, my mind would drift back to Corinne. When it did, I’d take another sip, wishing I could quiet my racing thoughts.

  It was good not to be alone, but even surrounded by my brothers, I felt isolated. My heart was shattered in ways they could never understand, and even though they tried, there was no way of explaining this to them. No way of feeling truly whole.

  So I drank and ate pizza and played along, finally passing out a little after midnight, but I knew when morning came I would feel the same.

  Broken and beyond repair.

  Tomorrow I would be well and truly alone in this. Reality would finally sink in, and I’d be facing a life without the only woman I’d ever truly loved.

  Motherfucker.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Corinne

  After Monday, I didn’t go to work for the rest of the week. At first, it had been out of my own stupid self-hatred and pity. I couldn’t face Cooper, not after everything we’d shared. Because, in truth, the second I saw him again, I knew I’d sneak into his office and beg for more. I was crazy about him—ready to change my entire life and all my commitments just to make room for him.

  I wanted every bit of him, all his happiness and sadness, his light and his dark, just like he wanted those things from me. Some just wasn’t enough anymore.

  Which, of course, was exactly why I needed the space. In the first few days, I’d looked for a new job, but every time I thought about going to work and not seeing Cooper and Alyssa and all the people who’d so quickly become a respite from my stressful life, I couldn’t bring myself to schedule the interviews.

  Then, feeling lost and unsure, I spent Friday with Mauve, pouring out my heart only to get the same answer in return—this wasn’t what Aaron would have wanted for my life. I needed to do what made me happy, and more than anything, I needed to find a way to tell the truth.

  My head spinning, I’d left the retirement home that night and flicked on my phone to find a message from Cooper. That in itself wasn’t so unusual, though. I’d been fending him off for days. No, it was the content of the message that made my heart stop beating and my breath catch.

  You’re. Fucking. Married.

  It wasn’t a question, and I couldn’t answer it like one. My throat went dry and my fingers trembled over the keyboard as
I tapped out my reply.

  I can explain.

  I sent the message, but knowing that could never be enough, I added, Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning?

  But by the time morning came, despite my checking every five minutes through that sleepless night, there was still no answer. I spent the day by Aaron’s side, trying to think of all the best ways to explain why I did what I’d done, and how I planned to make it right. But even then, with all the options in the world available to me, one look at Aaron brought me crashing back to reality.

  No matter what happened with Cooper, even if I did get him to understand all my lies and deception, nothing was going to make this okay. Nothing would make my life normal and whole and complete, not without hurting someone I cared for deeply and needed me.

  On Saturday night, an answer finally dinged on my phone. Cooper had written simple instructions to meet him at a coffee shop at nine the next morning. The place was close to the office, and even though I knew nothing good could come of it and it might be the last time I ever saw his face, my heart still swelled with the idea of seeing him again.

  • • •

  When Sunday dawned, I dressed quickly and carefully, making sure to feed Aaron and give him his medication before I slipped out the door.

  The whole way to the coffee shop, I nervously combed my fingers through my hair, imagining the long wait for Cooper before he finally arrived. It was only eight thirty, but I couldn’t bring myself to wait another minute.

  Still, when I reached the little outdoor seating area that led into the main shop, I saw that Cooper was already sitting there, his eyes downcast as he surveyed the morning paper. A steaming cup of coffee sat in front of him, and as he reached for it, his gaze met mine, and I caught sight of the days of stubble along his jaw.

  My heart stuttered, and I reminded myself to breathe as I took another shaky step toward him.

  I’d never seen him dressed this way. He wore faded jeans and a sweatshirt, a ball cap covering his head, and he looked exhausted. A shell of himself. Like a balloon that all the air had been let out of.