Vanity's Pleasure

by Olivia Gaines

  He turned and looked at the facing wall and there were six black and white photos on the wall. The first he recognized as a younger version of her father with a small boy. David Sr. looked as if he was teaching the boy to fish. Nigel asked, “Is that David in this photo?”

  She moved closer, saying, “I hope you were serious when you told my father you fish. He is a bit fanatical about his fishing.” He did not respond, but was captured by the next photo of a teenage Wilhelmina getting a make-up lesson from a young and extremely beautiful Elena Devonshire. It was such an intimate moment between mother and daughter. The next photo was of David Sr. with both twins on his lap as he read to them from the Chronicles of Narnia. They were about ten, which was a nice contrast in the next photo of David Sr. reading to all three adult children at the kitchen table. “How old were you in this photo?”

  She moved closer, “Will and I are 18 years old in this photo and David is about 27,” she paused and looked closer at what he was reading, “Ahh, my father’s favorite... Crime and Punishment.”

  She spoke briefly about the case he was working on at the time that mirrored the story.

  “Of course it led to a big argument between the four of us because there is no way that murder is acceptable, even if the needs of many outweigh the needs of a few,” she remarked. They entered the kitchen which was bright and sunny and made him want to cook something, even though he had no idea how to cook.

  She opened the fridge and he could have sworn he heard angels singing. She was still talking, “I find Dostoyevsky to be a bit heavy handed in his use of symbolism and whipping a horse is just unconscionable.” Nigel did not hear a word she said. He was captivated by the order and fullness of the fridge.

  There was fresh fruit in individual serving containers, melon slices that he immediately opened and popped a section of Honey Dew into his mouth. He eyed the blueberries, the cheeses, the shelf of bottle water that were labeled VP. Still munching on the fruit, “You bottle your own water?”

  “No, we have a filter system on all the water faucets in the building. We recycle the bottles, steam clean them and relabel them with pre-printed labels to reduce the amount of waste.” Nigel joined her at the counter and sat on one of the bar stools.

  “Oh,” he said, “yes, I am an avid fisherman, so I really do fish as often as I can.”

  Vanity took two small plates from the well-organized cabinet, grabbed a fork, and made her very hungry husband a snack plate of fruits and cheeses. It did not take the kettle long to heat up, and she made him a cup of breakfast tea. She smiled and stopped what she was doing. “Let’s finish the tour first, then we will come back here and have a snack.” He grabbed a few blueberries and nodded as he followed her down a long hall.

  “There are four bedrooms, each with a private,” she paused, searching for the right word, “loo.”

  There was nothing remarkable about the bedrooms. Each room was neat and tastefully decorated and the last bedroom took up the rear of the apartment. As Vanity opened the double doors, she stepped to the side to allow him entry. He was frozen in the doorway.

  Above the bed was a photo of the two of them in his tux and her white dress on the night of their wedding. He wasn’t sure if it was taken the next day during the photo shoot or the night of the wedding dinner. She looked magnificent. He looked like a man in love.

  “Your closet, dressing room, and bathroom are to the left,” she told him as she headed towards her closet to change her shoes.

  The bedroom was the identical layout as the one in Vegas and included a sitting area with a small floor to ceiling bookshelf that encompassed more design and business books than casual reading. There was a Wii with several Yoga workout CDs and lots of jazz CDs in some sort of surround sound system. Over the television was a photo of the two of them on the roller coaster in Vegas. He laughed at his closed eyes as they went over the drop. Nigel hated roller coasters and was going to burn that photo. He was impressed that Jessica had gotten them developed and hung in less than 48 hours.

  Nigel loved the two comfortable chairs and was almost tempted to park himself in one for a moment of respite. He heard her washing her hands again and went to check out his bathroom. He opened the closet to find the clothing from his suitcase had been unpacked, along with some new undergarments that had been placed in the drawers.

  Who unpacked my things?

  He opened the top drawer to find his watches had been neatly placed, his ties hung, along with his shirts, his jackets, and waistcoats, and he looked for his soiled clothing. Nigel checked his bathroom and fell in love. It had a sauna, a steam shower, a bidet, and a detachable shower head to rinse his berries. He wanted to jump in and wash away the soil of the night travel. He used the loo, washed his hands, and went to test the bed.

  Vanity exited her bathroom to find him laid back on the bed. He rolled to his right and then back to his left and shook his head that his side of the bed was just right, but as he rolled back, he noticed the photo on the nightstand.

  “No..... no.... no....” Vanity was already laughing. She had been waiting for him to spot the photo of himself in Vegas in the jeans and Chuck Taylor’s. Nigel rubbed his eyes, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

  She shook her head no, and when their eyes met, it was like an instant magnet. He looked at the bed then at her and swung his legs to the side and stood up.

  “This is a very big flat for you to live in alone.”

  She moved closer to him. “I am never alone,” she said, and Nigel heard several voices. She placed a light kiss upon his lips as she pulled him by his hands to the kitchen.

  Will was in the kitchen with Elsie and the Asian woman from the wedding who had jammed the tampons up his nose.

  “I got pork chops for dinner,” the Asian woman said as she placed them in the fridge.

  Vanity turned to Nigel, “This is our sister Phan.”

  {16] You did what...

  Phan faced Nigel and did a curtsey, “Hello again, your Grace.”

  Nigel looked confused but smiled, “Well, I am your brother-in-law, so that makes us family.” He embraced her, moved to Elsie and kissed both cheeks, and shook Will’s hand.

  Will told Nigel, “I feel cheated. I didn’t get any kisses!”

  “I am not Italian. Will, you and I don’t ever need to kiss. I don’t care how handsome you are,” Nigel replied.

  Will ribbed Nigel a bit more about him being insensitive to his needs as Vanity took more plates from the cabinet and set out boiled eggs, more blueberries, cheeses, bottles of water, and a small tray of rolled lunch meats. Nigel was looking at Phan, “So what’s the story?”

  Will’s eyes danced as he said, “Willie stole her.”

  Wilhelmina retorted, “I didn’t technically steal her. I bought her and smuggled her into the country,” which made Elsie’s eyes get wide. She did not meet Phan until the wedding and, like Nigel, wanted to know more. Nigel and Elsie both stopped chewing.

  “Well she was six at the time and fit very easily into my suitcase.”

  Will chimed in, “My parents had to adopt her to keep Willie from going to jail for human trafficking.”

  Brother and sister laughed, but Nigel’s brows were still raised.

  Her face was calm but Vanity’s eyes were filled with anger as she explained the whole scenario. A Chinese gang had just bought her from an orphanage and had planned to do not so nice things to a six-year-old girl. Vanity said, “So when I spotted them coming out of the building and one guy pulling up her dress, peeking—I asked to use her for two days.”

  “In exchange for two hundred American, they gave me the girl. The next day we were leaving Beijing, so I emptied my suitcase and put her inside.” She explained that it worked because David had chartered a plane to the next job in Milan.

  Vanity chuckled, “David was all like, what do you have in here a couple of bodies?”

  “I was never a good liar, so I told him, ‘no, only one.’” Vanity’s eyes were still in
tense as she told Nigel and Elsie that David knew something was up because she had kept the suitcase very close to her side. Once they arrived in Milan and the suitcase was opened, that’s when David realized she had not been lying.

  “David had to use my earnings in Milan to charter another plane back to the U.S. in order to hide Phan.”

  By now the girl was also laughing, “I was six and didn’t know any better. I just knew I was going to America.”

  She nibbled on an egg, “I’m going to America, I am going to America.” Everyone at the counter laughed, “None of us ever considered the pressure from the plane could have popped my eyes out of my head if I had gone below into the cargo hold.”

  “Well, David did put you and your suitcase on the inside of the plane and when we were airborne, he let you out?” Elsie asked.

  Phan yelled again, “I’m going to America!”

  Everyone at the table laughed.

  Will snacked on a roll of ham, “I have never seen Daddy so mad,” they all paused the laughter and Will pointed at Nigel, “Well, that was until you walked into my wedding and started kissing his baby!”

  Everyone laughed even harder. Will was still laughing, “I am still trying to get over him socking you in the face.” He peered over his glass to look at Nigel’s nose and began to laugh even more.

  Nigel ignored him, “Phan you grew up with Vanity here in New York?”

  “Good Lord, no. Willie was only fifteen when she stole me, and Daddy had just been appointed judge and to avoid an international incident, Mamí used her connections in Washington to push through some paperwork.” She explained that she was adopted, grew up in Arizona, and had graduated from Arizona State.

  Vanity had gotten up to add some grapes to the pile on the table. She threw her arm around her sister, saying, “Phan is a CPA and a grad student at NYU. She has only been in New York a year.” Vanity explained that the entire family had attended Arizona State except for Will and her.

  Will had attended a private college, then went on to Berkley. “I did my undergrad work in fashion design at the Academy of Art University, then my master’s in business at Berkley, along with Will.” Nigel sat listening and learning a great deal about his wife. She also explained that Will went on to start his publishing business and she her design business. “David did his grad work at Stanford and invested in both of our businesses to get us up and running.”

  Nigel asked, “So everything is connected with the family. Khalea, your cousin, is your attorney?”

  Will raised his hand and added that she was also his. Nigel looked at Phan, who smiled back at him and said, “I am their personal accountant.” Nigel started to laugh. Phan laughed too, “Yes, I keep them both on a tight budget and keep them in the black with their taxes.”

  Vanity jumped up. “Speaking of which, I did a little freelancing in Vegas.” She went into her purse to retrieve the check from the Wynn to hand Phan, who looked at it and asked, “How do you want it dispersed?”

  Vanity thought for a second, “Normal bonus for Jessica, add an extra 10% for Clarke for taking care of my husband, and with the rest, start a trust for David’s kids, and our soon-to-be arriving nieces and nephews.” Phan folded the check and put it in her pocket as she looked at Elsie’s belly.

  Nigel wanted to know, “So you live here?” He pointed at the floor to see if she lived in the apartment.

  Vanity answered, “No, she has her own apartment on this floor, but she has OCD and is always over here messing with my STUFF!”

  “She is the one who washed your clothes. She is diabolical, so please don’t leave anything lying about,” Vanity said at Nigel.

  Phan mumbled, “Whatever” and jumped off the seat. “I’m going to be late for class. Is there a car downstairs that can get me across town?” Will made a quick call, and the driver was still with Jessica, so Phan kissed Will, Elsie, and Vanity’s cheeks before darting off. She stopped, turned, and came back to kiss Nigel on the cheek as well. “Save me a pork chop, Will, and don’t forget to sign the books for tomorrow!”

  In a flash she was gone.

  WILL LOOKED ABOUT, found the box of books, and began to unpack them on the counter as Elsie helped Vanity clear away the dishes. They did a bit of girl talk and Vanity offered to show her new sister-in-law the apartment and the bedroom she would share with Will while they were in town.

  Elsie grinned at her sister-in-law, “All I need to see is your closet!” Arm-in-arm, they headed down the hall to the master bedroom.

  Nigel noticed the W.E. Devons books on the countertop and looked at the man on the cover. “Fuck me, is that you one the cover of these books?”

  Will continued to unpack the boxes. “Yes, it is me, and no thank you, I don’t care how handsome you are.”

  Nigel picked up Courting Guinevere. “I haven’t read this one,” he said and started to read the back of the book.

  “You are a fan of Devons?”

  “Yes...” but he paused, feeling he needed to expound upon why he was reading romance novels. Nigel confided that he had spent six months evaluating one of the factories outside of Dublin. “It was the middle of the winter, and it was a miserable factory and a miserable town, with miserable workers.” He confessed to Will that the factory secretary was a huge fan of Devon’s work and she gave Nigel a book to read to help keep him calm. “Before I realized it, three months had passed and I had read six of the books, and one I even read twice.”

  Will watched his brother-in-law’s face, waiting for some semblance that he was adding two and two. Nigel turned the book over to see the spine. “Ah, I see Mate, your company publishes these,” he took a minute. “Do you think you can get Devons to autograph one for me?”

  Will took the book from his hand, removed his favorite pen from his pocket, opened the flap, and wrote, “Oh Brother!” and signed it W.E. Devons. He handed it back to Nigel.

  It was almost like watching the stages of self-actualization go across his face. When he finally reached the stage of acceptance, he looked at Will, “Fuck me, I love your work! I am such a big fan! I think this warrants a real kiss there Mate! Your books were a life saver!” Vanity returned to the kitchen to find her husband trying to kiss her brother and her brother fighting him off. She and Elsie stood there wide-eyed and confused.

  Will screamed at his sister, “Will you get him off me?”

  Vanity didn’t know what to say or do. Nigel held up the book, explained about Dublin, and how much he loved Devons work, “Just to think, you are now my brother!”

  She and Elsie both exhaled a sigh of relief.

  “Will, can I get an autographed copy of all the books? I will buy them if need be.”

  “As long as you don’t try to make out with me again, I will sign anything you want!”

  Nigel waved his hand at him and asked, “Why would I want to make out with you when I have her?” His eyes twinkled when he looked at Vanity. She got all doe-eyed.

  Will was three steps from gagging and he made the sounds before saying, “Dear Lord, can we get ready for our day of sightseeing?”

  Nigel stopped and looked at Will with a face full of uncertainty, “Can I ask what you are going to wear?”

  Will looked at his sister, “I am going to wear what I have on.” He was dressed in Khakis and a long-sleeved polo shirt.

  Nigel looked at Vanity as well. “Can I wear what he is wearing?” Will wasn’t privy to the private joke but Vanity laughed hard as she pulled her husband down the hallway to get changed for their outing. “Nigel, you can pick you own clothing and dress yourself you know,” she said with a smile.

  {17] Waking the giant...

  It had been a very full day with Will, Elsie and sightseeing around New York City. Elsie was excited about visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and she tried to coax Nigel and Vanity into coming along. Nigel was quick to refuse, telling her, “I grew up in a museum. I have no desire to visit one for amusement.”

  After dinner, full on pork ch
ops and Elsie’s macaroni and cheese, sleep was calling, but instead the group opted for some family time. Phan favored the group with a few piano selections, and Nigel took the opportunity to dance with Elsie since he had not been able to at the wedding. The last selection of the evening, Vanity played a version of “Peel Me A Grape,” which began a vibrant discussion among the four on the potentiality of grape peeling.

  It was difficult to hide his shock after dinner when Vanity invited him into the kitchen to help with the cleanup. “Since they cooked, we do the cleanup, and vice versa when we visit them.” He only nodded and waited for her instructions on what he needed to rinse, dry, and put away. She noticed him smiling as he carefully cared for each dish.

  “In all of my life,” he told her, “this is the first time I have ever done the dishes.”

  Her hands in rubberized gloves, she thumbed water at him, “Stick with me, Your Grace, and I am going to introduce you to all sorts of new stuff.”

  Her tone was playful but her eyes were not.

  He understood her taunt and chimed in, “I was thinking the same thing, Darling.”

  Tonight, would be the first night they were truly alone in their bed. He said nothing more, but continued to work and watched with interest as she sprayed and wiped down the counters, measured the leftovers and put them into containers in the fridge, and wiped down the stove. The whole process, including the dish washing, took a half hour.

  Later, in bed, Nigel kissed her lips lightly, held her hand as he moved a tad closer to her, and was off to sleep. Vanity’s mind was racing and the smell of Nigel was igniting her senses. At the sound of his even breathing, she eased away from him to have a little late-night yoga workout to settle herself. This was a first for her. Although she had worked with and around some of the best-looking best-looking men in the world, she never found herself stimulated by them, let alone needing to settle herself so she could sleep through the night. But her husband had her rethinking many of her opinions on men and sex. Mostly, she was rethinking her views on sex. Especially, sex with him.