Running From Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  I shrugged my shoulders like he was no big deal. And really he wasn’t. He was attractive, yes, but nothing that I got all hot and bothered over. Eye candy, for sure, and that’s where I’d leave it.

  After talking with Kelly a little while longer and grabbing another beer, I mingled around the bar, talking with some of the new people I had just met and learning what departments they worked in and what their job descriptions entailed. It was nothing wild and crazy like I knew New York to be from movies and TV, but socially fun. It was a nice alternative from the social life I had in Cortland and much different from the college atmosphere I was used to…another positive change.

  It wasn’t until a couple hours later and a few more beers in when a sly, familiar voice came up behind me, asking if he could buy me a drink. The hair on my neck stood on alert and belly warmed as I turned to face the only man that could make me cave with just his voice.

  Miles.

  “Wow. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” I practically purred, the alcohol inhibiting my speech and self-control.

  His expression turned intrigued. “Why would you say that?”

  “I figured this wouldn’t be an executive’s scene,” I said with a touché tone to my voice.

  This warranted the sexy gut-laugh that he has done before. “I’ll have you know that you could be slightly correct. However, today it was brought to my attention that it just may be more my scene than I thought.”

  I gave him an impressed look, nodding my head and feeling my cheeks warm as they always did when he was around. He came here for me. Flattery was taking over.

  “So, a drink?” he asked again with a raised brow and dimple showing again.

  I was weak. Exposed. Caught. There was no denying the way he made me feel. His allure was one I couldn’t turn a cheek to. Any previous reservations I had were quickly sliding out the door. My old self was taking over, though even my new, improved self knew I wouldn’t be able to refuse him. I couldn’t let the opportunity to be with someone like Miles Blackwell pass me by, so I agreed, following him towards the bar, allowing him to place his hand on my lower back as we moved through the crowd around it.

  Merrick happened to be available when I reached an opening in the crowd. “Another Ultra?” he questioned, smiling as he asked.

  “Please.”

  “And a gin and tonic for me, if you could,” Miles added, handing Merrick his credit card over my shoulder. “Excuse me, gorgeous. I didn’t mean to reach over you,” he whispered in my ear, causing all the hairs on my body to stand again…exhilarated.

  Merrick seemed puzzled, quickly looking back and forth between Miles and I before disappearing to the other end of the bar. I wondered why, but then shrugged my shoulders, not really caring.

  “Do you know him?” Miles asked, squaring his body to mine.

  Is he jealous? Christ, I met you in the elevator yesterday and Merrick three hours ago.

  “Him?” I questioned curiously, raising my chin towards Merrick. “No, we just met tonight.” I shook my head, blowing it off.

  He casually nodded his head and though it seemed he thought otherwise, he didn’t elaborate. It was the truth, though. The only information I knew was from Kelly and Sami, and that was just about him being hot, which was obvious.

  Miles left it at that, leading us into a less congested area after receiving our drinks. I didn’t mind. Being in overcrowded areas reminded me too much of frat houses and college bars, which weren’t my cup of tea anymore. Not to mention, although I shouldn’t, I was anxious to get to know Miles a little better.

  The night carried on with no awkward silences as we talked. I finally got him to stop calling me “Ms. Reynolds” and say “Kayla” instead. It seemed too proper, making me feel older than I was. I also learned that while Connie oversaw all the production end of things, Miles handled the business/financial part of ETV. They’re both considered CEOs, having dual partnership in the network.

  It wasn’t until the bar started to clear out and Sami and Kelly stopped over to say that they were heading out that we noticed the time. It was after midnight. Talking to Miles seemed effortless, not to mention ridiculously intoxicating. That grin that made my insides cave never left his face and his deep blue eyes still seemed to sparkle in the dim light. The level of attraction between us had only grown stronger in the short time we spent together. We were getting dangerous close to heading in that direction, the one I claimed I shouldn’t go.

  At least not with him.

  Even being midnight on a Tuesday, well now Wednesday morning, the sounds of Manhattan still rang loud in the air once we stepped outside. It might be an annoyance for some, but it was riveting for me. I loved it. The horns, the sirens…the noise brought a surge of energy throughout my veins each and every time I stopped to listen.

  “Can I walk you home?” he asked once our feet touched the cement.

  “I believe you already are,” I answered slyly, starting in the direction of my apartment.

  He fell into step next to me. “This is the way?”

  “It is.”

  “You live down here?” he asked, sounding somewhat shocked.

  “Is there a problem with that?” I questioned. I wasn’t trying to sound rude; I was hoping for more playful than anything.

  “No. No, not at all,” he said, taken back. “The cost of living is just higher in this area, is all.”

  I snorted at his insinuation, not to be rude, but by the simple fact that he knew the cost of living and probably my salary. “No one ever said I lived in the Taj Mahal,” I pointed out, nudging his arm to let him know I wasn’t ashamed or offended by his reference or the probability that our homes were probably night and day from each other’s.

  “Well, I commend you on your choice of location. It’s the best in the city, in my opinion.”

  A prideful grin smeared my face. Not many enjoyed the Times Square feel, but once you got off the main streets, it was incredible. I knew my choice of living was exceptional. “Thank you,” I happily responded, looping his arm with mine. It was a gutsy move. We hadn’t been this close all night. Flirtatious, yes, but touching, no. But the urge was there and I had to take it. I couldn’t stop myself. Something about walking the streets of Manhattan with a man like Miles by my side made the gesture a logical and natural thing to do. And he didn’t seem opposed to it, either. In fact, he rested his free hand over mine, holding it to his arm.

  It was only a few short minutes later that we were standing at the base of my building. Part of me wished the walk was longer.

  “So, this is you?” he said, facing me but glancing up the length of the building before returning his gaze to mine.

  “It is,” I confirmed awkwardly. It was that clichéd first date moment. Even though we weren’t on a date, it still had that feel, and I knew we were both wondering what was going to happen next. The rush between my legs that I’d had throughout the night was screaming to invite him upstairs, but the more reserved, adult, wanting-to-create-a-better-image-for-myself side was reminding me that I shouldn’t. I’d regret my decision in the morning if I did.

  Miles took things into his own hands, leaning forward and gently kissing my cheek, whispering, “Goodnight, Kayla,” into my ear before walking away.

  I stood there, frozen, without the will to move. He had the gentlest lips in the world. I turned to watch him walk away but he was already out of sight. I stared anyway, mesmerized by the night.

  When I finally put one foot in front of the other, my body humming with euphoric energy, I followed my usual route through the lobby, up the elevator, and down the hallway to my apartment. It wasn’t until I slipped off my shoes and threw my purse to the side that my body froze again, this time scared shitless, seeing a lifeless body curled up in my bed. A smart person in my position probably would have called 911 immediately, but I apparently wasn’t thinking clearly. I used caution walking forward and, fortunately for my safety, relaxed when I saw who the body in my bed be
longed to: Madison, my little sister.

  Prior to moving, I sent her a letter with a key, letting her know my new living arrangements. We hadn’t had the most stellar upbringing. My mother was and still is a gold-digger that had made divorcing high rollers a profession. I don’t know how she did it, nor do I care, but she always made out, taking those men for all they were worth.

  Maddy was four years younger than me; she turned eighteen just two weeks ago. I called her on her birthday, asking what her plans were now. She hadn’t known at the time, but I guess she figured it out. She ran. Just like her big sister, she ran as fast as she could to get away from her life. There was no use for us in Vegas. Since the day we could take care of ourselves, my mother basically disowned us. She only used us for bait on the guys that seemed sensitive to those kinds of things, like being a mother to your children. But that was it. We were nothing more than that; we were merely pawns in her gold-digging chess game. Since she was eighteen now, Maddy must have used some of her inheritance from our father to get here. It wasn’t much, but enough to pay for a one-way ticket. This I knew.

  Taking a seat beside her, I nudged her awake. I needed to make sure she was okay, that nothing happened. I just never knew with Maddy. She slowly woke up, eyes fluttering open and looking blearily at me. I felt bad that I didn’t stay. I felt awful that I didn’t take care of her. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stay in that mess. I needed my own life. I needed to start over. I needed to be whoever I wanted to be with nothing holding me back. I think she understood that, or at least she did now. Now she was in the same boat I was.

  “Hey,” she grumbled, stretching her arms above her head and legs straight out. “What time is it?”

  “Almost one, my time. What time did you get here? You should’ve called my cell.”

  With a big yawn she sat up, rubbing her eyes awake. “Only a couple of hours ago. I was exhausted, so I figured I’d just lay down until you got home.”

  “Are you okay? Did anything happen?” I couldn’t help the paranoid big sister role taking over. In so many ways she was like a child to me. For so long it was just the two of us against the world.

  She gave me a reassuring smile, calming my nerves slightly. “Nothing out of the norm. A new one moved in and I was just done. I couldn’t do it anymore, K. Not when I didn’t have to…”

  I nodded my head. I completely understood. The only difference between us was that I left the day I turned eighteen. My bags were packed weeks in advance. I had it planned and I was ready to go. Where I didn’t give a shit and was okay living on my own, she’s wasn’t. She had always been more sensitive—always trying to see the best in people. She loved our mother; I didn’t. She saw hope in her that I didn’t even try to find. Our mother was useless. A piece of shit, if I were to be completely honest. I despised her. It was plain and simple. Maddy always seemed to be holding out hope.

  “Well, you can stay here as long as you want.” I waved my arm around the tiny studio. “It’s obviously not much, but it’s something.”

  “Thanks, K.” She tight-grinned. “I have no clue what I’m going to do. I haven’t really thought this out. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  “No worries. You came to the right place. We’ll figure it out. We’ll find your nitch.” I leaned over, hugging her and sighing, happy that this was where she ran to. I’d missed her. Since our father died when we were younger, she’s been the only real family I had.

  She smiled again, but I could tell that she was exhausted. Jetlagged, I’m sure. The late hour was starting to hit me, as well, and I let out a large yawn. I offered up my bed, insisting that she sleep there that night—I didn’t mind sleeping on the sofa bed, at least for one night. It wouldn’t be long before I had to be up for work anyway.

  After washing my face and brushing my teeth, we both said our goodnights and curled up in our beds. It was an eventful night, borderline perfect. Between making new friends, spending time with Miles, to having my sister safe with me, I was content.

  Alive.

  Exactly where I wanted to be.

  A sunken feeling filled my chest when I entered the elevator the next morning and didn’t find Miles inside. It could’ve been a coincidence that we bumped into each other the previous mornings, but it still felt lonely…different. I hated the way I was feeling. I didn’t want to miss anyone or crush on anyone or feel vulnerable to anyone, but it was something I couldn’t avoid. Miles Blackwell was addictive and way too desirable to just brush aside. There were too many reasons why I shouldn’t pursue him or allow anything to develop between us, but they were all ignored. I was in too deep already. Captivated.

  When I reached my floor, I was greeted by a very overly-enthusiastic Sami. From what I had gathered since starting here, Sami’s a genuinely friendly, happy person, but her facial expression alone was more elaborate than normal today, an immediate warning that something was up.

  I gave her a worried glance, cluing her in that I was aware of the difference in expression. She giggled, coming out from behind her desk. “Wait until you see what’s on your desk!” she practically shrieked, rushing beside me down the hall, eager for me to see.

  It didn’t take long to see what she was so excited about. The huge bouquet of flowers could easily be seen from afar. Shock consumed my body as I took the last few steps towards it, and it was still running through my veins when I picked up the note that was sticking out.

  Had a great time with you last night. Excuse my absence this morning, I had an early meeting. Lunch? Miles

  “Who are they from?” she asked, practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

  I looked up at her, a warm smile covering my face. “Miles.”

  “Miles Blackwell?! Um, how did that happen?” she asked me, very intrigued.

  I snorted, remembering Leah’s reference. It was so cliché. “We met in the elevator, then kept bumping into each other. It wasn’t until last night that we actually sat down and talked.”

  “You do realize who he is, right?”

  “Yes,” I said dryly. I knew I was entering dark waters and knew the repercussions it may cause, but I couldn’t stop. Instead of running from the deep stuff like I normally did, I was rushing towards it with no fucking control or a way of slowing down. I was cursed by the businessman god.

  “Okay. Just making sure, because I’m not sure how Connie will react to this. We’ve never seen an executive mingle with us commoners,” she pointed out. “We all just about crapped our pants when we saw him mosey into the bar last night.”

  “You and me both,” I joked back, trying to eliminate the gutted feeling in my chest just thinking about what could happen if things went wrong…piss off my boss, lose my job… I didn’t want to talk about it with Sami, but it was definitely something I’d need to talk about with Miles. But, in all honesty, would talking about it change anything? I wasn’t quite sure.

  At just before twelve, I received a call over my desk phone. It startled me, since I hadn’t used or heard it ring once since starting there; Connie only contacted me via my BlackBerry. When I glanced at the screen on the base it read, “INTERNAL CALL: BLACKWELL, MILES.” Feeling a rush of excitement fill my insides but not wanting to let it be seen or heard, I answered with a simple “hello.”

  “Didn’t Connie tell you that you’re supposed to answer your office phone by name?” he started out in a serious tone.

  Instantly, my stomach dropped and every ounce of excitement turned to worry—was he mad? I couldn’t tell. Being part owner of the network, he was technically my boss, too, so he was well within his rights to scold me for not answering the phone properly.

  “I…uh, no. She didn’t,” I answered nervously. I was caught off guard; tongue-tied for sure.

  His deep laugh allowed me to exhale in relief, calming my nerves. “I’m kidding. Well no, I take that back. It’s encouraged that you answer the phone with your name because it sounds more professional, but I wasn’t reprimanding you. You,
beautiful, can answer my call however you’d like.”

  I snickered at his statement as happiness soared within. He certainly had a way with words. Even the simplest sentence or compliment was invigorating when he spoke. He could tell me that I sucked at life, but as long as it was spoken in his smooth, cantered voice, my heart would still beat faster.

  “Duly noted,” I answered flirtatiously, wetting my lips and resting back in my chair.

  “Did you receive your flowers?”

  “I did. They’re beautiful. You didn’t need to justify your absence.”

  “You didn’t miss me this morning?” Miles questioned with what was sure to be a huge grin plastered on his face. Though I couldn’t see it, I knew it was there. The slyness in his tone gave it away.

  I smiled and almost giggled, but stopped myself just in time. “It was different.” Though I’m sure it was apparent to some degree, I couldn’t show my vulnerability towards him just yet. As intoxicating as he was, I knew I was playing with fire and had to keep some kind of guard up for protection. I’ve been burnt before. I wouldn’t allow it to happen again no matter the amount of intemperance he carried.

  He chuckled again, making me smile. “You’re a tough nut to crack, Ms. Reynolds.”

  “Kayla,” I replied.

  “Yes, of course. My apologies,” he said with charmed empathy. “Would you like to join me for lunch, Kayla?” he continued with extra emphasis on my name, making me smirk and shake my head. He was being a smartass, but it was entertaining, and I liked it.

  ***

  Even though we were heavily noticed in the bar last night, keeping our relationship somewhat private to ETV was something I wanted to maintain. I wasn’t sure what the rules for dating within the company were nor did I want to have any issues between Connie and I. Connie was enough to handle as it was, throwing my dating her brother and business partner in there would be like throwing a steak to a lion—I’d be done in seconds.