by Arlo Arrow
I grabbed my shirt and jammed it on over my head while sliding on my jeans. Seconds later, I grabbed my violin and purse and was out the door.
I told myself I wouldn’t look at her car, but curiosity got the best of me. In the back seat were two boys who looked just like Jeffrey. They had his same wild brown hair that sort of flopped in front of his face. They had tanned skin and dark eyes that always looked like he was up to something. I hadn’t seen them in years. They had changed so much. I guess that’s what Grace thought of me, though—some kid she used to know, all grown up.
“Wait, Susan,” Grace called to me, as I was about to get into my car and drive far, far away.
“Yes?”
“Can I have a quick word with you?”
“Okay,” I squeaked out.
“Obviously, there’s something going on between the two of you.”
‘Well—” I trailed off.
“Susan,” she said softly, more gentle. “It’s obvious. You don’t have to keep this a secret from me. I know you’re sleeping with him.”
I cringed. I wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide until this all passed.
“Can I ask you something? I need you to tell me the truth.”
“Sure,” I said, more nervous than I had ever been in my life.
“How long have you been seeing him?”
I let out a small sigh of relief. “About three weeks, I believe. Why?”
She raised her eyebrows. “But before that did you ever— “
“No!” I interrupted, understanding her line of questioning. “I promise, Grace, Jeffrey and I never saw each other in that way before now. I promise.”
I think she could tell by my absolute horror that I was telling the truth. My face was burning hot. I didn’t want to describe my sex life to anyone, let alone his ex-wife.
“Does he talk about me?” she asked in a softer voice.
“Look, you really should be talking to Jeffrey about this,” I said, positioning my body for a quick getaway.
“I bet he makes me look like the bad guy, doesn’t he?” she asked. I stayed quiet on this one.
“I’m not sure what he’s told you about me, but just know that things weren’t easy for me,” she said sadly. “I regret so much about how things ended with Jeffrey. But, there’s no turning back. We can only move forward with our relationship.”
I blinked. What did she mean by our relationship? Was she here so she could get back together with Jeffrey?
I suddenly felt nauseated and needed to sit down. Really, I needed to get away from Jeffrey and Grace and their two perfect children. I was clearly the odd one out in this situation. I had to go.
“Excuse me, Grace,” I murmured, trying not to get sick on her. “I should really be going.”
“Sure,” she said. “I’ll see you around, Susan.”
I quickly walked to my car and got inside before she could say any more to me. At that rate, she was probably ready to tell me the details of their former sex life. It was all too much for me.
Please call me when this all blows over, I texted to Jeffrey once I was a safe distance away. I need to know if you plan on staying with me.
Luckily my aunt and uncle were gone when I got back. I ran to the guest room bathroom, ran a hot bath, and cried as the hot water lapped against my skin.
I had never been more humiliated in my life. I didn’t know who I was angrier at, Jeffrey or Grace. Also, I was mad at myself for believing that Jeffrey and I could be in an uncomplicated relationship. I was far too young and naïve to be in a relationship with a divorced man. Now I understood why Jeffrey was so worried about our age difference. Not only did it look weird to outsiders, but he came with so much baggage.
How did Jeffrey ever let Grace get away? She was stunningly beautiful, like a movie star. She was elegant and classy, not to mention a powerful businesswoman. Everyone who met her fell in love with her. If I didn’t know that they were married and she broke his heart, I would have really liked her too. Jeffrey absolutely landed a catch when he married her, and I felt like I could never live up to her legacy.
I tried to think up a worst case scenario to help appease my greatest fears. I figured that the worst that could happen would be that Jeffrey would fall back in love with Grace.
The more I thought about it, the more possible it all seemed. There was still some conflict between them, but I couldn’t be sure that there wasn’t a little attraction going on. After all, if you were a divorced forty-something looking to ease your loneliness, a young girl would do the trick.
I watched as my tears fell into the water below me, disappearing forever. My dreams I had for my new life with Jeffrey were starting to dissolve.
Chapter 12
Jeffrey
“Susan,” I called from the recording room, cracking the door so she could hear me. She said she was going to get a glass of water, but she had been gone for a while. I had just come up with a cool harmony and I wanted her to hear it.
Silence. The house wasn’t that big, she couldn’t have gotten too far. Maybe she had gone to the bathroom. Girls could be weird about talking about that kind of stuff. I gave her a few minutes to come back, but when she didn’t return I yelled for her again.
More silence.
“What could you possibly be doing, Susan?” I asked, walking out of the room to find her. “If this is some sort of ploy to get me to bend you over the kitchen table, I’m into it.”
“I’m glad I left the kids outside,” Grace said from my doorway. “I definitely don’t want them to hear you saying those things about your new lover.”
My heart nearly exploded, I was so startled by her presence.
“What are you doing here?” I shouted. “Where is Susan?”
“I’m glad to see you’re inattentive with all women, not just me,” she said sarcastically. “She went home. I talked to her outside.”
“You talked to her? What did you say? Oh, God. This is a nightmare.”
“You’re telling me. I’m the one who had to see my ex-husband in his underwear, ready to bone a girl half his age. It doesn’t feel good.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, running to put some clothes on. “Can I see the boys?”
“I sent them to the park,” she replied. “I wasn’t sure what they would be walking into. Good thing, too.”
I was embarrassed that she found me like this, but it wasn’t my fault. If I would have had the slightest inkling that she would be back, I would have made sure the house was ready for them.
“You know it’s not fair for you to just barge in like that,” I said. “You could have called. The flight from Germany is half a day long as it is. You could have sent me a message when you boarded and none of this would have happened.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She walked to the kitchen table and slumped down in a chair. She ran her hand through her hair.
I hovered over the opposite chair, wondering what I was about to get myself into.
“Is something wrong, Grace?” I asked tentatively.
“I think we’re back here for good,” she said quietly.
“Really?” I asked. “That’s fantastic. You have no idea how much I’ve missed the boys. Are you moving back into the city?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” she said, not sharing my enthusiasm.
“Did something happen? With the job, I mean.”
“I didn’t lose my job if that’s what you’re asking,” she said defensively.
Her career was her life. I didn’t find what she did interesting but I knew she was damn good at it. She could have taken a position at any company in the country but she decided to get as far away as possible after the divorce.
“So, what brings you back to the city? Decided Germany just wasn’t your scene? Did you get tired of the beer and sausages?”
With that, she broke down crying. I froze. She wasn’t one to show her feelings, especially when s
he was trying to be tough.
“I’m going to make some tea,” I said, feeling uncomfortable. I grabbed the fancy teas I bought for Susan and put the kettle on.
Then, I ran to the bathroom and snatched a few tissues from the box, handing them over to Grace. She dabbed at her eyes and did her best to collect herself. She was always so cool under stress.
Once the water was ready, I poured two cups and brought them to the table, sitting down across from her, I looked my ex-wife in the eye and waited for her to speak.
“Before I left for Munich, I was seeing a guy who worked in my company,” she said, dabbing at her tears. “But that’s all over now,” she sniffed.
“How soon before?” I asked. The information wasn’t necessary, but I was curious all the same.
“We went on our first date the day the divorce papers were signed. I didn’t leave you for him if that’s what you’re asking. He just happened to show up at a time that I was feeling very vulnerable and lonely and it just happened.”
I blinked. I assumed she would be with other men after our divorce but I was surprised that it happened so soon.
“This wasn’t some big promotion you couldn’t give up. You took the boys with you because of some man.”
She opened her mouth then closed it again. “More or less, yes.”
I didn’t know whether to be furious or to just let this one go. She was obviously very upset about what had happened and I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to make it worse.
If I wanted to, I had every right to lay into her about how shitty it was for her to take the kids overseas without consulting me first. I could taunt her for moving so far away for a man while she played it off like it was some big promotion. I finally had the chance to make her feel small like she made me feel.
But when that opportunity came, it just didn’t seem right. Old memories of comforting Grace when she was upset about getting passed over for stuff at work came flooding back to me. I would hold her in my arms and listen to her as she talked about work. If I ever had problems, she did the same for me. As nostalgic as I was feeling now, I decided it just wasn’t right to put her down now.
“Who’s the guy?” I asked. “Do you want me to rough him up a little bit?”
She laughed. “It’s fine,” she said. “I mean, it’s not fine, but I’m not going to send my ex to Munich to kick his ass.”
“What happened with him?”
She hesitated a moment before speaking. “He was married,” she said, cringing.
“Grace!” I exclaimed.
“I know,” she groaned. “Would you believe me if I said I had no idea at the time?”
“Not really,” I scoffed. “You pick up on everything.”
“I know. But, he said that they were getting a divorce.”
“You didn’t believe that, did you? Come on, Grace.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “If you must know, he was very handsome.”
“More handsome than me?” I interrupted.
“No one is more handsome than you,” she joked. “But he was pretty hot. Do you want to know the reason I fell for him?”
“Sure,” I said because apparently, I’m a masochist.
“He was there,” she said simply.
“He was there,” I repeated.
“When we were about to split up, it was really hard on me. I had a lot going on with the boys and with my job. It was all too much to handle. I wanted to figure everything out, but you were gone all the time. I kept trying to find time to talk to you, but the second I could pin you down, you were off to the studio. I needed you and you weren’t there for me. Jack was there.”
I nodded. She wasn’t wrong. It still didn’t feel good to hear about your ex running into the open arms of another lover just because you failed as a husband.
“I don’t know if I ever really got the chance to say this,” I said, clearing my throat, “but I’m really sorry for how things ended. I was so caught off guard by how things ended that I didn’t get a chance to get past my anger. By the time I felt like I could forgive you for that surprise, you were gone with the kids. And I never got the chance to stop being mad at you for that. But now I’m telling you,” I took a deep breath. “I wasn’t there. I should have been, but I wasn’t. You deserved someone who was a present part of your life and I was too involved in mine to see that things were going wrong. I’m sorry.”
She smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank you,” she said. “It’s nice to hear you say that.”
“So,” I said, after a moment of silence, “tell me the rest of the story.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she said. “After a few months, things were going really well. He still hadn’t divorced his wife, but he said that she wouldn’t sign the papers. He was in Munich and she was in San Francisco. We met up in secret because we decided it was best if no one at work knew about out little tryst.”
“So how did she find out about it?” I asked, my curiosity growing. “Some dramatic reveal where she slapped you in public?”
“Funny,” she said sarcastically. “No, it was somehow worse than that. It turns out that she knew about me the whole time and didn’t have a problem with it.”“How is that worse?” I asked. “Isn’t that the perfect scenario? Or did he invite you back for a surprise threesome?”
“You wish,” she said. “There was this work event that I told him I wasn’t going to attend. I couldn’t find a babysitter for the boys so I planned on staying home. At the last minute, a neighbor offered to watch them, so I thought, what the hell. I went and he was there with his wife.”
“And she didn’t slap you in public?” I asked.
“No, of course not,” she said icily. “Why would she when she knew everything about me? In fact, she introduced herself to me, ever so casually. They were in an open relationship. So, they stayed married but they casually dated other people on the side. The relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere. I was basically a friend with benefits that his wife signed off on.”
“I’m sorry, Grace,” I said, seeing the hurt on her face.
“There’s nothing I can do about it now,” she sighed. “I just feel incredibly stupid about the whole thing. After I found out, I even asked him if he would leave his wife for me. I slept with a married man and then begged him to choose me over her. I really should have known better.”
“Maybe you didn’t want to see what was really happening before your eyes,” I offered. “It’s easier to deny that something is wrong instead of actually dealing with it sometimes.”
She nodded. “How did we get into this mess, Jeffrey? We were really happy.”
“I know. We had absolutely everything we could ever ask for—good careers, a beautiful home in the country, two amazing kids. We had it all.”
Her nervous hands fiddled with the daisies in the vase that I bought for Susan.
“I’m just not sure where to go from here,” she said. “I’m exhausted and I don’t know where to turn. I’ve alienated all our friends between the divorce and my move. I have nowhere to go, and the kids deserve better.”
I bit my lip. I knew that it was my responsibility to care for my broken family, no matter what. This was all a huge surprise and I hadn’t had the chance to fully process what had happened, but I knew what I needed to do.
“Stay here for a few days,” I said, meeting Grace’s eyes. “I’ll help you with the kids while you sort out stuff at work.”
“Are you sure it won’t put you out?” she asked, tearing up again. “I don’t want to disrupt your life just because I can’t get mine together.”
“It’s not a problem,” I replied. “This house isn’t very big, but it’ll work until you figure something else out.”
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I know you don’t have to do this.”
“Is there anything else you need me to do?”
“Maybe you can play for me tonight,” she said hopefully. “I used to hate listening to the violin at al
l hours of the day, but now the nights feel too quiet without it.”
“I can do that,” I smiled.
Out of habit, I was about to reach across the table to hold her hand, but thankfully, the boys burst in the door to break me out of my trance.
I jumped up from the table and scooped them into my arms, holding them close. I had missed them so much.
“Guess what? The two of you are going to stay with me for a little while. How do you like the sound of that?”
They cheered and my heart soared. There was nothing better than having kids who wanted you around as much as you wanted them.
“Is this our new house now?” Max asked.
“Probably not forever,” I said. “But you are all welcome to stay here until you find a bigger house.”
“Mom’s staying too?”
“If she wants to.”
“Can we go to the park every day?”
I laughed. “Of course. You’re going to have to go to school, too, though.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent catching up with Grace and the boys, talking about everything they had gotten up to in the past few months since I’d talked to them. They taught me a few words in German and I taught them a few short songs on the violin. They weren’t big into playing, but at the very least, I wanted them to be able to play as a fun party trick one day.
Grace and I wanted to do something special with the boys in the evening, so I searched for my phone so I could look up the movie times at the theater in the neighborhood.
“Grace, can you call my phone,” I asked. “I can’t seem to find it anywhere.”
I followed the faint sounds of computer-generated jingle until I tracked it down.
“Thanks, got it,” I yelled as I picked it up from under the chair in my studio.
There was a missed text from Susan, sent hours ago. I quickly replied to it.
I’m sorry things are so crazy right now. I can’t talk because I’m with the boys, but I’ll call you soon. I still very much want to be with you, but I must take care of a few responsibilities first.
