Twist--A Dive Bar Novel

by Kylie Scott

  “Hey,” said Joe, stretched out on top of the bed. He’d shucked his boots, but otherwise, all clothing remained intact.

  Thank God.

  “Hi” is what I attempted to say. What came out was a cross between a whisper and a wheeze. God, my throat was on fire. Raw agony. I could have cried in pain and frustration, only it would have made my headache worse. Besides appearing pitiful, of course.

  The knocking continued.

  “How are you feeling,?” he asked around a yawn.

  “Crappy,” I whisper-wheezed, beyond caring. Fucking plague.

  “Shit,” he mumbled. “You lost your voice?”

  I nodded.

  “Damn. Least you’re not burning up anymore.” Slowly, he sat up, stretching his neck and rolling his shoulders. Then he pushed up off the bed and went to answer the door.

  The actual Eric Collins barging in made for the second surprise of the morning. Unlike his brother, he wore black slacks and a pale blue button-down, topped off with a black leather jacket. His long dark hair was tied back in a man-bun, his face freshly shaven. Besides him, Joe appeared distinctly rumpled. Resemblance-wise, you could see the shared gene pool in their high foreheads and generous lips. The slight thickness of their noses. Otherwise you’d hardly credit them with being brothers. As different as day and night.

  “Morning,” said Eric, dumping his load of brown paper bags on top of the chest of drawers. “Told Nell you didn’t make it home last night and she made me bring over more food and stuff. Coffee’s in that one.”

  “Thanks.” Joe dove into the designated bag, pulling out two extra-large coffee cups.

  “Dad phoned, wanted to know when you’d be on the job,” he said. “Better check your cell and give him a call.”

  “Will do.”

  Eric turned, giving me a flirty little grin. It didn’t last long, however. “Damn. You’re really sick, aren’t you?”

  Joe’s brows drew in. “I said she was.”

  “Yeah, just figured it was an excuse she’d made up to stay in town and make you run around jumping through hoops, doing stuff for her. Grovel. You know, make you pay penance?” He shrugged. “Bet Boyd fifty bucks too.”

  Without a word, Joe set down one of the cups and smacked his brother upside the head.

  “Christ, man!” Eric patted his hair back into place. “Take it easy.”

  “Apologize to Alex before I break your fucking neck.”

  “Sorry, Alex,” said Eric, becoming less attractive to me by the minute.

  “Idiot.” Dark eyes distinctly pissy, Joe turned my way. “You want coffee?”

  To think I’d actually imagined Eric might be the man of my dreams. The real Eric had maturity issues, that much was certain. I shook my head and fought my way out from underneath the mountain of blankets he must have piled on me while I slept. Distantly, I could remember waking up at some stage shivering, ice cold, and demanding blankets. Otherwise, I still just had on the thin tank top and my favorite underwear. Bright yellow boy-legs with Little Miss Fucking Sunshine on the front. I only owned about five pairs of them. She was kind of my spirit animal. And to think, Joe had seen me in this glorious getup, sticky with sweat and sick as could be, and he’d still stayed and played nurse. Impressive.

  I hadn’t lasted through all of the movie last night, what with being on death’s doorstep. Joe and I hadn’t talked much. But what we did do was laugh at the same lines, exclaim over the same fight scene, and ooh at exactly the same time during the car chase. So our tastes in films were eerily similar, as if that meant anything. I just hadn’t expected to feel quite so comfortable having him around. Early on, all I had noticed was how different he was from the guy I thought I knew. It was disconcerting to start grafting all the things we actually had in common onto this new hunk of manhood.

  Anger, hate, and betrayal were harder to hold against Joe Collins than I would have liked. Let’s blame it on the drugs.

  No doubt on top of my questionable underwear I also had crazy bed hair, morning breath, and every other unattractive thing you could think of. But the glory of feeling like something a cat barfed up was the complete lack of caring. And let’s face facts, in a day or two’s time, the plague would have either turned me into a zombie or subsided.

  Either way, these two men could take me as I came or get the hell out of my hotel room.

  Still pouting, Eric threw himself into a chair. “There’s fresh juice in there too. Apple, orange, and whatever else Nell could think of to boost the immune system. Ever since she got pregnant she’s been on this insane mothering bend. Can you believe last night she tried to tell me I drink too much?”

  Joe just grunted and dug through the bags in search of the juice. He brought it over to me, taking a seat on the side of the bed with a coffee in hand. “Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think you’re going anywhere today.”

  I nodded glumly, downing two more of the cold and flu tablets before taking a cautious sip. Wow, what eye-watering goodness. Zesty with explosions of ginger and garlic in my mouth. At least I could vaguely taste something. Everything else was blergh. If Nell’s germ-attack juice didn’t kill the evil bugs living in me, nothing would. I plucked some more Kleenex out of the box and blew my nose.

  “Actually, Nell’s been riding my ass about a lot of stuff lately.” Eric stared up at the ceiling, all contemplative. “You think she wants me to propose again?”

  Joe turned to look at his brother. “E, she tried to punch you in the balls last time you offered her a ring. So, I’m thinking no.”

  “Could have just been the baby hormones making her crazy.”

  “No, man,” said Joe. “Pretty sure it was you making her crazy.”

  With nothing to contribute to the conversation, I kept on sucking down the juice.

  The big blond guy turned back to me, taking a sip of his coffee. “Eric accidentally knocked up Nell. She was drunk.”

  “Doesn’t mean she didn’t jump me.”

  Joe caught my eye and gave a small shake of the head.

  “I saw that,” his brother bitched.

  Joe winked at me. I couldn’t help but smile back. It was a small, feeble thing, to be sure, but it was there. He obviously hadn’t gone into detail about Eric and this issue in his emails. Guess it got too complicated.

  “Started reading one of those baby books you got me. Already proving useful.” Eric grabbed the closest brown paper bag, checking out the contents. “Give me a break, she packed you the triple-choc brownies. Like they have any health benefits.”

  “I’ll take one of those.” Joe half rose from the bed, stretching out a hand. His brother handed one over to him. “What about the book?”

  “Right.” Eric polished off a brownie in one large bite, holding up a finger, bidding us to wait. “Turns out when the kid’s born this stuff similar to black tar from hell comes out of its butt for the first few days.”

  “Huh.”

  Bile rose in the back of my throat. The flu of doom was no time to be talking baby poop.

  “What I’m thinking is, right after the birth I fake a cold, like what Alex has,” said Eric. “That way, it’s not safe for me to be around the kid, right? Wouldn’t want to pass on germs to the new baby. Nell will totally fall for it.”

  Joe stopped, frowned.

  “Genius, no?” asked Eric.

  “No,” said his bearded brother.

  “What?” Eric laughed. “As if you’d change diapers with that in them. It sounds fucking terrifying.”

  With a heavy sigh, Joe rubbed at his forehead. “Christ, bro. Man-up, already.”

  “Please. You would not change that diaper.”

  “I would change the damn diaper.”

  “You’re just saying that because she’s here.” Eric pointed at me.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  If I could have spoken, I’d have told the idiot to leave me out of it. Alas, the best I could manage was a dubi
ous look.

  “No,” said Joe, being painstakingly clear. “I’m saying I’d change the nasty diaper because that baby is half mine and its mom deserves my backing. Get it? Does that make any sense to you at all?”

  Mumbled profanity.

  “Well?”

  “Yeah. All right.” Eric slumped down in his chair, mouth lined with worry. “And don’t call it it. That’s really uncool.”

  No response to his brother’s mini-rant. Joe just drank more of his coffee.

  Suddenly, Eric was up and out of here. “I got to go. Later.”

  “Later.”

  I waved as he closed the door.

  “He’s actually doing better than he was,” mumbled Joe, turning to look at me. “Spent the first few days after she told him about the baby pretty much hiding under a shrub out in the yard with a bottle of single malt. Wouldn’t even speak. Didn’t think he’d manage to open one of the books, let alone read some of it. For a guy who never planned on getting married and having kids, it’s a start.”

  I nodded.

  “Nell was going through a messy divorce from another friend of ours, Pat. Her and my brother were a drunken accident.” He sighed, staring off at nothing. “It’s been like getting caught in the middle of a fucking war, having this going on. We’ve all been friends since school, but now everything’s a mess. It drove me nuts I couldn’t email you about all of it. I needed some sanity.”

  Silence.

  “Anyway.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t you think maybe you should go to the doctor?”

  Good question. Thing is, unless modern medicine had made some miraculous discoveries overnight, they still didn’t have a cure for the flu. “No,” I mouthed.

  “Okay. If you change your mind or need anything, I’m writing my cell number on this notebook over here. Text me.” He got busy doing as much, bending over the little table half-covered in brown Dive Bar goodie bags. Whoa. Hold up. Nice ass. Seriously, the man had a good one. Something about a masculine, jeans-clad ass just beckoned to be noticed and appreciated. I still preferred my men in suits and ties, but it couldn’t be denied. Joe’s rear had it going on.

  The man himself turned and my eyes shot up to his face. I pasted on a pleasant smile to hide the shameful guilt inside of me over perving on the poor defenseless guy. Not that I actually felt any guilt. I just probably should have.

  He cocked his head, forehead lined. “What?”

  I raised my brows. “Huh?”

  “Is there something on my ass?” He attempted to look at said fine behind, brushing away at it with both hands.

  Busted. I was so very busted. And to have this happen after he’d stated I didn’t do it for him. Oh, the shame. I should ship my libido to Alaska for a season or two, cool the stupid thing off.

  The brushing of said bottom continued for a moment then he fortunately moved on, picking up the spare room key. “I’m going to take this so when I come back to check on you tonight, if you’re sleeping, I won’t wake you with any knocking. Okay?”

  Normally, no, it wouldn’t be okay. But I was reasonably certain he was not a murderer. If he’d intended to do anything bad then he’d have already done it. Also, his brother, mother, friends, and the people on the front desk all knew he’d been coming and going, so I nodded. Given how woozy I’d been yesterday and my fever during the night, having someone check on me seemed wise.

  “All right.” A big hand brushed over his butt one more time and he frowned. “I’ll see you later, Alex.”

  Phew.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Message received three months ago:

  Hey Alex,

  Had an interesting conversation today you might like to hear about. Andre, the guy that owns the building, got approached by some real estate people about developing the second floor into condos. They used to be offices but have just been left empty or used for storage for the last thirty or so years. No way Andre will deal with the real estate goons, but he asked if I’d be interested in developing the spaces. Doing something similar to what we did with the Dive Bar renovation. Making use of the raw brick walls and polishing up the wooden floors and that. Modernizing where necessary. I don’t know. It’d be a huge commitment when I’ve already got a lot going on. It’d take a lot of cash to see it through, too. Cool idea, though. My brother Joe and my dad are carpenters. They could handle most of it. I guess I’ll see how things go over the next while.

  E

  Message sent:

  Eric, great to hear from you. And what a great project! Thanks for those pics you sent. Wow—your brother looks like a lumberjack—where’s the family resemblance there? The reno on the Dive Bar worked out so beautifully. Just imagine what you could do changing the space upstairs into studio apartments or something. It would be amazing. Please give this more thought. You sound so passionate when you talk about the carpentry projects you do with your dad. If there’s no set d-day on it, this could work out perfectly. Would love to hear more about the spaces when you get a chance.

  Cheers,

  Alex

  As promised, it wasn’t knocking that woke me. It was the buzzing of my cell phone over on the table.

  I’d had a quiet day, sleeping, mostly. The codeine Joe’s mom had sent over had knocked me out nicely. My head still felt light, a bit woozy. More rest was needed. Maybe I’d take a home-cation for the remainder of the week back in Seattle. Disconnect, and take it easy. Give myself a break and take the time to properly recover from this illness. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a vacation. But, no biggie. I loved my work. Graphic designing was not a chore, it was a delight.

  A break would be good, though.

  Weirdly enough, suddenly the bathroom door opened and out strolled Joe on a cloud of steam and masculinity wearing an extremely small white towel as a skirt. There was a lot of bronzed skin on show. A truly unnecessarily large amount. The buzzing cell phone immediately caught his attention and he rushed on over, picking it up.

  “Shit,” he mumbled, putting it to his ear. “Hello?”

  Standing with his back to me forced me to reassess the skirt. Actually, I’m not even sure it would qualify as a towel. It couldn’t. The thing barely covered his ass cheeks. Not that I was staring. Been there, nearly gotten busted at that.

  Yeah.

  Well, I was kind of not staring. It’s harder to ignore a mostly naked man than you’d think. Perhaps this was a real fever dream. I didn’t feel particularly hot, but why else would the man be wandering around mostly naked in my hotel room? Oh my God. Unless he was thinking of putting the moves on me.

  Whoa. I seriously hadn’t seen that coming. What to do? Usually sex with no consequences was an easy call; I either wanted to or I didn’t. Despite my best intentions to ignore Joe, he was hot. On the other hand, however, lying was not. I’d let him get close (well, virtually close, if that makes sense) and he’d hurt me. If any lingering feelings for him were still floating around inside of me, it could very well happen again.

  “Yeah, I’m Joe Collins. Alex is sleeping, she’s been sick. She caught the flu.” He waited. “Ah, well…” Again, he listened. In fact, he listened for quite a while. “You’re … I … Okay, yes, I’m a raging asshole. I should never have done that to her, you’re right. But…” He paused. Then he took an almighty big breath, letting it out real slow. “Yes. You’re right, there’s no excuse for such a willful act of bastardry and I definitely deserve to be castrated and burn in hell for all eternity. Um. Who did you say you were again?” The man massaged his temple, making the muscles in his upper back move. Nice. “Valerie, Alex’s best friend. Right. Nice to meet you. Alex spoke about you a lot, when we were emailing.” Joe winced, removing the phone from his ear for a moment as a particularly loud noise issued through the cell. “Yes, I can see how that would just remind you what a jerk I am, of course.” He nodded. “No. Okay. I will never win you over with charm because I’m slime. Got it.” The man hung his head. “Yes, I’m listening. She is a goddess
despite her cold, hard heart and I’m a lowly animal. Totally agree.” He started rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. I’ll get her to call you when she’s up. Great to talk to you, Valerie. Yep … okay, got to go. There’s a whole line of people here who also need to abuse me. Bye.”

  Visibly sagging, the man commenced muttering obscenities.

  Over on the bed, I could hold it in no longer and proceeded to almost piss myself laughing. Valerie was the best. The absolute best.

  “Oh, you’re awake,” he said, pushing the long wet strands of his golden hair back from his face. “I just had a little chat with your friend Valerie. Your phone kept ringing so I thought I better answer or it would wake you up.”

  I giggled on.

  “Enjoy that, did you?”

  I nodded.

  “Great. I’m glad. Anyway, hope you don’t mind. The heating at Nell’s place is acting up and they can’t fix it until tomorrow. I told her she could have my room for the night and I’d crash here again,” he said. “If that’s okay with you?”

  I shrugged, kind of caught out.

  “You’re looking a little better, got some color back in your cheeks.”

  Given how little the man was wearing, that did not surprise me at all.

  His shoulders were broad, as befitting a man of his stature. His arms were muscular and his nipples were brown. Both of them. I didn’t want to take in all of these details, but what with him standing nearly naked right there, I was forced to. Wise or not, my ovaries had seized control and they wanted to make big strong babies with the man, pronto. Common sense never stood a chance.

  “You don’t mind that I helped myself to a shower, do you?” he asked. “Eric wanted to go for a run after work. I was already covered in sawdust so the sweat just made it even worse. We had a hell of a busy day. Dad’s hands were playing up on him so he couldn’t work, but he’d booked in all these jobs.”