Jean Grainger Box Set: So Much Owed, Shadow of a Century, Under Heaven's Shining Stars

by Jean Grainger

  All those meetings about what we would do when the time came to make the sacrifices seemed like a lifetime ago, Mary thought. Now it was here, and those sacrifices were very real. She faced losing her home, her friends, her livelihood, and most of all, her future with Rory It all seemed a lot to ask. She cleaned his cuts, and he winced as she dabbed disinfectant on them. She forced her thoughts away from the terror of anything more serious happening to him.

  When she’d finished, he looked better. He took the cloth from her hands and placed it in the basin. He stood up and drew her into the shadows, behind a large pillar. Dawn was breaking and the incessant shelling and gunshots continued relentlessly outside. She followed where he led until she felt the cold stone of a wall against her back. If the Countess were to come along now and find them, Mary dreaded to think of what would happen. Relationships with Volunteers were encouraged, but to be courting in corners while the Rising marched on bloodily would not be viewed favourably by anyone, she was sure.

  ‘I love you, Mary Doyle.’ He whispered in her ear as his arms went round her waist, ‘and if God spares us, one day soon, you’ll be Mrs O’Dwyer and we’ll have a nice little house and ten babies.’ He chuckled into her ear.

  ‘Ten!’ she whispered back, playfully punching him on the shoulder. ‘What do you think I am, some kind of an old brood mare?’

  ‘No, but I’m just thinking of all the fun we’ll have making them.’ He slapped her gently on the bottom.

  ‘Rory O’Dwyer, I’ll have you know I’m a respectable girl.’ He stopped her protests with an urgent kiss. On and on he kissed her as she felt the chaos around them melt away and they were the only people in the world. His hands roamed all over her back and under her hair at her neck. She felt sure she shouldn’t but she held him tightly, praying the kiss could go on forever.

  ‘Rory O’Dwyer! Has anyone seen Rory O’Dwyer?’ An impatient man’s voice cut through the early morning.

  ‘That’s it. I’m afraid, duty calls!’ he whispered. ‘Mind yourself, my love. I’ll pop back when I can. Stay away from the windows. There’s snipers across the road.’ And he was gone.

  Chapter 23

  Scarlett sat in her mother’s small dining room, across the small table from possibly the creepiest man she’d ever seen. Fr Ennio reminded her of Mr Burns from The Simpsons with his hunched back and shiny alabaster skin stretched over his small frame. Thin wisps of hair were stuck to his bald skull and his hands were like claws. His old fashioned full length cassock with the red lining on the cape and ruby red buttons made him look like the baddie in a kid’s TV show. For the longest time he said nothing, merely muttered what sounded like incantations, as he fingered a rosary bead in his bony hand and refused to meet her eye.

  Lorena was cooking something in the little kitchen, leaving them alone. The sight of her mother when she opened the door was a shock to Scarlett. Normally Lorena was beautifully dressed. She made many of her own clothes but you could never tell, such was her expertise with fabric and stitching. Her auburn hair was always done perfectly and her make-up flawless. Her upbringing as a Southern belle had ensured she was expert at grooming and deportment and very little else. Even in the worst days of Dan’s drinking, when they were close to being penniless, Lorena always made an effort to look nice. It was one of the many things she and her mother argued about. Lorena constantly bemoaned the fact that Scarlett seemed to live in jeans and t-shirts when she wasn’t working. Today her mother’s hair was lank and hung down her face, a face entirely bare of make-up, and she wore a long shapeless dress in a kind of beige colour with sleeves to her wrists. Scarlett barely recognised her.

  ‘So Father,’ she began, ‘my mother tells me that you and she have been talking about doing a pilgrimage?’

  He looked up and his pale blue eyes stared at her, still he said nothing for awhile.

  Eventually, he spoke. ‘You are filled with demons. They battle for your soul. Satan is working within you. You must repent and do penance.’ He whispered rather than spoke and Scarlett wondered if he had a lisp. She fought the urge to giggle.

  ‘Oh, ok, well I...’ she was at a loss as to how to continue. What on earth was her mother doing with this guy. He was clearly crazy.

  Sparing her the need to reply further, her mother appeared, cheerily announcing that lunch was ready. At last, Scarlett thought. She was determined to eat the food as quickly as was humanly possible and get the hell out of there. A niggling feeling at the back of her mind was telling her that she needed to do something about Lorena and this guy. He was clearly insane, but Lorena obviously thought he was wonderful. With everything she was trying to deal with, she just didn’t need this too.

  Her phone buzzed. A text from Charlie. ‘Hey Red, thinking about you xx’

  She smiled. What she wouldn’t give to spend the day in bed with Charlie, reading the papers, eating take out and pretending the outside world didn’t exist. She wondered for the millionth time where he was, how things were with Julia and what his plans were. Still, he wouldn’t keep texting her if he was going to dump her, she reasoned.

  Lorena placed a plate of food in front of her and she began to eat quickly.

  ‘Scarlett! Please wait for the blessing of the Lord before you eat!’

  Scarlett sighed and put down the fork and knife and bowed her head. How her mother had the ability to reduce her to a ratty teenager again, never ceased to surprise her. The heat was turned up ludicrously high even if it was chilly outside, and she could feel the perspiration between her shoulder blades, despite the fact that she’d already removed her jacket and sweater.

  Lorena had mentioned that she wanted to go on a trip to Mexico with the priest, but now that Scarlett had met him, she was sure that it was a bad idea. She tried once more to bring the subject up.

  ‘Mom, about this Mexico trip. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. Perhaps somewhere a little less extreme would be better, Lourdes maybe, or one of the other more recognised pilgrimage sites. There’s loads of companies offering tours, you know, led by priests and everything...’

  Fr Ennio interrupted her with his weird whispering voice. ‘The path to the Lord, to true redemption, can only really be found through fasting and sacrifice. Lorena and I plan to fast at high altitudes in Mexico to try to gain closer association with God for not only our own betterment but also for the betterment of the whole of mankind. It has been known to happen at this holy site, that people can be brought by the Almighty, through protracted periods of deep, meditative prayer, into states of joyful bliss where it is possible to see the face of heaven. That is our goal.’

  As he spoke Scarlett observed him. He really was disturbingly peculiar. The way he spoke with such cold conviction was freaking her out. She had to get Lorena away from him.

  ‘Fr Ennio is right, Scarlett. He alone knows the true path to redemption. He has the power of angels within him. He can combat the forces of Satan for the betterment of all mankind. I’m lucky to have been chosen by him.’ These weren’t Lorena’s words. Scarlett knew her mother,. and however off centre she was, she didn’t normally go on with all this stuff about the forces of Satan.

  He and Lorena were obviously spending huge amounts of time together, it seemed, and her conversation was becoming like a sermon on the gospel according to the weird priest. Scarlett couldn’t figure out what his game was. Lorena didn’t have any real money because she only worked part time in a florist’s, and Scarlett took care of her bills. So she was bewildered about the relationship that seemed to be getting closer and closer all the time.

  ‘So, how many people are going on this trip to Mexico?’ she asked, trying to sound conversational.

  ‘Lorena and I will undertake this pilgrimage alone. But we will have the mighty strength of the Lord at our side,’ Ennio lisped.

  ‘But Father, with all due respect, depriving yourself and my mother of food at high altitudes over long periods of time would make anyone hallucinate. I’m no
t sure that what you are proposing is safe. Would you not consider going on a pilgrimage to a more recognised location? There are lots of places in Europe that might be easier on you and…’

  ‘Scarlett, stop that immediately! Please Father Ennio, forgive my daughter. God knows I’ve tried to bring her up in the way of the Lord, but she is at constant risk of allowing Satan into her life. Scarlett, Fr Ennio is taking me to save my immortal soul from the fires of hell, don’t you realise how lucky I am to have him in my life? Without his spiritual guidance, I would have to spend all of eternity in the company of Satan! Only through Fr Ennio can I be saved!’

  Scarlett watched this exchange with incredulity. Lorena really believed all this crap, and she had a slightly crazed look in her eyes as well. Scarlett had promised herself on the way over that she wouldn’t lose her temper or be rude to anyone, so she was going to keep her promise. Her fear was that if this guy had a stronger hold on her mother than she first thought, she could drive her further away if she said anything derogatory about him. Scarlett hadn’t seen her for several weeks, and she could see she was right to be worried.

  ‘But Mom, why would you be going to hell? You’re a good person, you never hurt anyone…’ Scarlett put her hand on her mother’s tiny one, speaking gently to her. When Lorena answered, Scarlett almost didn’t recognise her voice. She was despairing, pleading.

  ‘You don’t understand, Scarlett. I am a sinner. All my life has been sinful. I married a man in the eyes of the Lord, and I did not honour or obey him as I should have. Now that he is dead, I cannot repent the sin of being a bad wife.’

  Scarlett let out a snort, all semblance of keeping her cool gone. ‘Are you serious? Where are you getting this crap from? You were a bad wife to Dan O’Hara? Lorena, have you lost your mind? He was a violent, useless, lazy drunk. The day he died was the best day of our lives and you know it!’

  ‘Scarlett! How could you say such a thing about your father?’ Lorena was anguished, all colour drained from her face, her fists clenched. ‘He was your father and my husband, and maybe if we’d all tried to understand and support him instead of…’

  ‘Oh for Chrissake, this is just garbage, Mother. Is it you who’ve been filling her head with this crap?’ Scarlett turned her venom on Father Ennio, who had started praying frantically, muttering incantations and making the sign of the cross on himself repeatedly.

  Suddenly he stood up from the table. ‘We must leave this place, Lorena, my child. Satan is at work here. He has possessed your daughter and he is working his evil through her. You are at risk, your soul is at risk, Lorena. Come with me now, away from this devil woman…’ He held up the huge crucifix he had around his neck towards her in the way Scarlett had seen vampire hunters do in bad movies. If he wasn’t so serious, she would have laughed at him.

  He was pulling Lorena by the hand, trying to get her to leave with him. Scarlett stood between her mother and the priest. ‘Ok. Enough! Let her go!’ She found herself yelling into his pale face. Her tone brooked no argument. Scarlett towered over him and removed his hand from Lorena.

  ‘I think you better go now.’ Scarlett spoke quietly, realising how distressed her mother was. She was weeping silently and beseeching the priest with her eyes not to leave. It reminded Scarlett of the way she looked when Dan was bearing down on her, before he attacked.

  Lorena wrenched her arm away from Scarlett and turned on her in fury, ‘You are the work of the devil. Fr Ennio is trying to save me, trying to remove the sin from my body and soul, but Satan is at work. You,’ she continued, pointing at Scarlett, ‘fornicating with men! God knows how many. But not happy with that sin of lust on your soul, no, you had to commit adultery as well, breaking up a family because of your uncontrollable carnal desires! You are a she-devil, the work of the beast. You are an abomination! Get out of my house!’ Lorena’s eyes were unnaturally bright and her body shook violently.

  Scarlett was in shock. She had never even seen her mother lose her temper in all her life.

  Fr Ennio witnessed the exchange and decided things were getting out of hand, so he left, declaring ominously, ‘Satan is at work in this house!’ Lorena stayed facing her daughter alone. They stood like that, for long seconds, neither knowing what to say next, both in deep shock.

  Then Lorena ran to the window, watching the priest depart up the street and crying silently, her hands on the glass. Scarlett was stone-faced. Her memories of her childhood, while blighted by the fact that Dan was her father, were not all bad. She remembered the comfort of sitting on her mother’s knee after the cops took Dan, looking at the old movie magazines. She remembered going to the movie theatre on 104th street to see her namesake in Gone with the Wind about a hundred times, and how, while on the way home on the subway, she and Lorena would recall bits of the script to each other.

  Scarlett knew her mother had become more religious over the years, and even though she saw it all as mumbo jumbo, she believed it was harmless and would often go into churches and light a candle for her mother. She brought her holy statues or biographies of saints for birthdays and Christmas, and her mother always seemed touched that she had made the effort.

  Scarlett knew that in recent years she had neglected her mother and shut her out of her life while she built her career. And then, once she’d met Charlie, he took up all her time. She could never tell Lorena about him so she chose to avoid her. A wave of guilt crashed over her, knowing she had allowed this religious fervour to get out of hand because it suited her to have Lorena so involved with the church. The more energy she put into that, the less time she had for annoying her daughter. She felt wretched for ignoring her mother, but the way she had just spoken to her was deeply shocking.

  It never occurred to her for one moment in her whole life that her mother didn’t love her, until now. It shook her to the core.

  Lorena seemed calmer now, but was in a trance-like state, her arms wrapped round herself as if she was cold. She stood with her back to the room, gazing out the window to the street where Fr Ennio had run. She had rosary beads in her hand and was muttering prayers, Scarlett presumed. Even if she wanted to talk to Lorena, she doubted that she could, for she seemed so far away. She approached her, but Lorena seemed oblivious to her presence.

  ‘Mom.’ Nothing.

  ‘Lorena, are you ok?’ she asked tentatively. Her mother just stared out the window, her lips moving but the rest of her rigid. Catatonic almost, despite the muttering. Scarlett knew that this was serious. She had no idea what was wrong with her mother, but she knew she needed help to deal with it. In the absence of any better idea, she called an ambulance, explained what had happened, and was reassured by the paramedic she spoke to that they were on the way, and that she had done the right thing. Scarlett began to clear the untouched plates from the table, scraping the untouched food into the large bowl in the centre. She stacked the plates and carried them into the kitchen and began loading the dishes into the dishwasher silently.

  Her mother would need clothes and a sponge bag if she was going to be admitted to hospital, so Scarlett went into her mother’s bedroom. The sight that greeted her made her blood run cold. The room was literally covered with the most gruesome pictures of martyrs and saints that Scarlett had never seen before, and over her bed was an almost life size statue of Jesus on the cross. Scarlett was shocked and terrified. What on earth was going on in her mother’s head? She always had little crucifixes and holy pictures but not these things, like something from a horror movie. She tried to block out the macabre décor and opened drawers, taking out underwear, slippers and a nightgown for her mother. On the back of the door was her dressing gown. She’d had it for years, and Scarlett could remember the feeling of comfort it gave her as a child to rest her face against the soft old cotton as Lorena told her she was named after the most beautiful woman in the world. She put the dressing gown in the bag along with some wash things and zipped it closed. There was a prayer book beside the bed and a Bible on the l
ocker, but she decided Lorena had enough of that for now.

  She opened the wardrobe to get her mother’s coat and hat, and that was when she spotted the box. It was the one Lorena had kept hidden from Dan all those years ago, full of movie magazines which she and Scarlett used to look at. Tentatively she opened the box, half expecting its contents to have been replaced with more religious paraphernalia, but she was relieved to find it exactly the same, full of photos, magazines, and posters from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Closing the box, Scarlett hoped that maybe there was some of the old Lorena left and that she could be found.

  The sound of the doorbell split the eerie silence of the house. The paramedics had arrived.

  ‘Is she going to be ok? Will I go with her?’ she asked, as they gently eased Lorena into a wheelchair and tucked blankets around her. Her mother obediently did as they asked, though she was totally disconnected from her surroundings.

  ‘Are you family?’ they asked.

  ‘Yes, I’m her daughter. Where are you taking her?’

  ‘’The Payne Whitney Psychiatric Clinic, it’s on the Upper East Side. Don’t worry. She’s in good hands now.’

  ‘Should I come in the ambulance with her?’ she asked, unsure of what to do next.

  ‘Well maybe if you follow in your car, that way it will be there for you when you need to leave?’

  Scarlett nodded, relieved that someone seemed to be thinking clearly. They pushed Lorena past the door and Scarlett took the small bag containing her things. She watched as they opened the ambulance doors and one of the paramedics sat in the back and strapped Lorena into a seat, talking soothingly to her all the time. She never looked at them or spoke a word, just kept on squeezing her rosary beads through her fingers and mouthing prayers.

  Scarlett stood on the pavement, watching the ambulance pull out into the light Sunday traffic.

  Chapter 24

  ‘I’m sorry for just dropping by again like this, Eileen, I just didn’t know where else to go.’ Scarlett sat in Eileen’s sunny kitchen while the older woman smiled kindly.