Flaws and All

by Shana Burton

  “Amen,” echoed Lawson. She opened her eyes. “I needed that. Thank you.”

  “Lawson, we all need help sometimes, even you with your stubborn self!”

  “What am I going to do about my sister? Only God knows what else she’s into now. And Kina? I mean, I always felt like E’Bell wasn’t good enough for her. How am I supposed to sit here and do nothing while he terrorizes her and Kenny?”

  “You’re doing all you can do. It’s up to them. They’ve got to want to change their situations. All we can do is pray and be here for them.”

  “That’s my little sister, Angel.”

  “Your sister is a grown woman with a mind and a will of her own.”

  “My friends and my sister don’t even want to be in the same room as me.”

  “They’ll come around. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s hard for people to hear the truth sometimes. Besides, have you ever known us to stay mad for more than a day?”

  “Yeah, who knows what kind of trouble that crew can get into within twenty-four hours?”

  Chapter 35

  “Marry a man I don’t love or risk losing my son.”

  —Lawson Kerry

  Mark barged into Lawson’s classroom two days before her weeklong deadline to tell Namon the truth. He pulled Lawson off to the side, interrupting her lunch with Lydia. “I need to talk to you. You already know what this is about.”

  “Don’t manhandle me,” she replied, pulling away from him. “And I’m not going to discuss that here.”

  “Is everything all right?” asked Lydia, concerned.

  “No.” He took a deep breath. “I apologize for coming in here and interrupting you guys like this, but I need to speak to Miss Kerry alone.”

  “No, you don’t have to go anywhere,” said Lawson and crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m sure whatever Coach Vinson has to say to me, he can say in front of you.”

  Mark fumed. “I need to talk to you alone, Lawson, but if you want our business all over the school, then fine with me.”

  Lydia rose, but seemed reluctant to move. “Is everything all right?”

  “No,” Lawson confessed, but the thought of her baby daddy drama being fodder for the teachers’ lounge was a bit too much to swallow. “However, it’s something only the two of us can work out.”

  Lydia took the hint. “I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.” She collected what was left of her lunch and ducked out of the room. Mark closed the door behind her.

  “Now, what was so urgent that you had to come storming in here like a maniac?” inquired Lawson. “Poor Lydia looked like she was scared half to death.”

  Mark sat down on top of one of the students’ desks. “I want you to know that I’ve come to a decision.”

  Lawson gave him a sideways glance. “Oh, you have?”

  “Yes.” He paused. “I want Namon to come live with me.”

  Lawson looked at him in total disbelief. “Have you lost the little piece of mind you had left? After the way you acted the other day, you’d be lucky if I let Namon come over for a visit. You can forget about him living with you.”

  “I already told you that I’m willing to take this all the way to court if you keep denying me from getting to know my son.”

  “Do what you have to do, Mark. You and your court threats don’t scare me. My money can retain a lawyer just as quick as yours can.”

  “You can stand here and talk all tough, but we both know you don’t want to go toe to toe with me in a courtroom. You will lose, Lawson. I can almost guarantee that.”

  “It’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

  Mark hopped off of the desk. “Going to court will be grueling and expensive and will take a lot of time from us that we can be spending with Namon. If we’re honest, I don’t think either of us wants that, therefore, I’ve come up with another solution.”

  She rolled her eyes and muttered, “I can’t wait to hear this.”

  “I already told you that I’m a strong believer in doing the right thing when it comes to my child, so . . .” Mark took a deep breath. “I think we need to provide Namon with the kind of stability and family that he needs right now.”

  “He already has that.”

  “No, he has a variation of that, but not the real thing. We need to take ourselves out of the equation and do what’s best for our son.” Mark sighed and calmly stated, “I think you and I should get married.”

  “What?”

  “I want to be with my son, you’re not going to let him live with me without you. Getting married makes the most sense. It just seems like the most logical solution.”

  “Mark, we can barely stand to be in the same room together as it is. Why would you even consider something like that?”

  “We got along just fine before all this came out about Namon. There were actually times when I felt chemistry between us. Marriage may not be the most conventional solution in this situation, but it’s the only one that can guarantee that everyone gets what they want. Being raised by both of his parents is the best scenario for our son.”

  “While developing this master plan, did you forget that I’m marrying Garrett?”

  “He’s a good guy, but he’s not Namon’s father, no matter how hard he tries to be.”

  “He’s the only father Namon has ever known, and he’s the man I love.”

  “You said yourself that you all have been together for ten years, and you ain’t made it down the aisle yet. That should tell you something.”

  “What it doesn’t tell me is that I need to marry you.”

  “Lawson, I’m not going to beg you. It’s either this or I fight you for custody.”

  “Mark, Namon doesn’t even know you, and what he does know, he doesn’t like. Why don’t you stop thinking about yourself for five seconds and consider his feelings?”

  Mark shook his head. “Fourteen years—fourteen years out of his life that I’ll never have again. In four years, he’ll be going off to college. If I’m going to build any kind of relationship with him, all I have is now. And like it or not, the key to that happening is being married to you.”

  “I don’t know how being trapped in a loveless marriage could possibly be what’s best for Namon or for anyone else.”

  “It doesn’t have to be loveless if we don’t want it to be,” said Mark.

  “Mark, I’ll always love Garrett. I’ll never love you.”

  “Never say never.”

  Lawson rolled her eyes.

  “Hey, I’m no more in love with you than you are with me, but in time, our feelings could change, and we could end up having a great marriage. More importantly, Namon would have a real family.”

  “He already does.”

  “No, he’s being raised by a single parent and her boyfriend. That’s not the stable environment I want my son to have.”

  “Please explain to me how living with a single father who also has a child with another woman is better.”

  “It’s not. I don’t want our son torn between two families, having two sets of step-parents, two homes, and two different lives. He doesn’t need that. But he does need both of his parents raising him in a Christian household as man and wife. Just think about it, Lawson. When you do, you’re going to see that I’m right. In your heart, you know that being raised by the two of us is better for Namon than being raised by you and Garrett.”

  “Garrett has been nothing but good to Namon.”

  “But he’s not his father,” repeated Mark. “I am. We can give him the family that he’s never going to have with Garrett. It’s either that or drag this thing out in court.”

  “So, those are my choices, huh? Marry a man I don’t love or risk losing my son.”

  “The choice is yours, sweetheart,” Mark said and stood eye to eye with her. “I won’t settle for anything else.”

  Chapter 36

  “God will make him stop, baby, one way or the other.”

  —Kina Battle

  Kina
sashayed into the apartment and planted a wet kiss on E’Bell’s cheek.

  He looked up from the television. “What’s with you?” he asked.

  “I bought you something.” She handed him a workbook.

  “What’s this for?”

  “It’s a study guide for college entrance exams.”

  E’Bell frowned. “Why are you giving this to me?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it. Baby, just because you didn’t go to college right after high school doesn’t mean that you can’t go now.”

  “I already told you that I’m too old to play college ball.”

  “I’m talking about getting your degree, not touchdowns. You’re interested in starting your own business, right?” He nodded. “A degree can help you get there.”

  He snarled, “And just who is going to pay for all this college? You know I don’t make enough money to be wasting like that.”

  “You might qualify for a scholarship, or you could get a student loan.”

  “Ain’t nobody gon’ give me no loan, and you know that.”

  “It’s a guaranteed student loan. Anybody who applies can get one.”

  “And just who is gon’ pay it back?”

  “That’s a bridge to cross after you graduate. Besides, with your degree, you can get a better paying job and make enough to pay back the loan.” She sat down next to him and opened the book. “Just look at some of the questions. They’re not even that hard.”

  E’Bell pushed the book aside. “Kina, I ain’t been in school in fifteen years. I don’t remember all this stuff.”

  “Just try. See what comes back to you.” Kina set the book in his lap. “Okay, read number one.”

  E’Bell stared at the page, squinting his eyes. “Man, I can’t read that little bitty writing. It’s making my head hurt.”

  “I’ll read it. The first one is an analogy. Jettison is to accept, as what is to what?”

  “Huh?”

  “Jettison. It’s a verb.”

  “Like a person, place, or thing?”

  “No, that’s a noun.” She pointed to the multiple-choice options. “Which one do you think is the best answer?”

  He pushed the book away again. “I told you I can’t read all this small writing.”

  “It’s not that small, E’Bell.”

  “So, now you gon’ tell me what I can see with my own eyes?” he charged.

  “No, I wasn’t trying to do that, but if you can’t read it—”

  “I can read!” he cut in. “You think I’m stupid or something?”

  She touched him. “Baby, I wasn’t insinuating that you can’t read or that you’re stupid. I just meant that you might need glasses.”

  “I don’t need you to tell me what I need.” E’Bell flung the book across the room. “And I don’t need this book either. Since you think I’m so dumb, why don’t you just take your fat behind somewhere else to live?”

  “E’Bell, you’re not dumb—”

  “I must’ve been to marry you.”

  “All I’m trying to do is help you. Why are you getting so upset?”

  Kina put her arm around him, but he jerked away. “Did I ask for your help, Kina? I work at a school, and seeing one every day is more than enough for me.”

  “But think of what it’ll do for Kenny to see both of his parents in school, still pursuing their education.”

  “School just ain’t for everybody, and we are the kind of people who ain’t got no business being in somebody’s school. Now, I don’t want to hear no more of this foolishness. The house ain’t clean, and there ain’t nothing here to eat. If you got to be around here fretting over something, fret over that, and leave me alone.”

  Kina stood with her head held high. “Then I’ll just have to go on to school without you.”

  E’Bell bolted up. “What? You gon’ defy me like that?”

  “When it comes to this, yes, I am.”

  Without warning, he slapped her, and she fell down on the sofa. He pulled her up by her hair. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, you hear me?”

  “Yes,” she sobbed. “E’Bell, please stop! You’re hurting me!”

  “I told you one time that there ain’t gon’ be no school!” He shoved her to the ground. “I ain’t telling you that no more!”

  Kina wept, curled in the fetal position on the floor. E’Bell stepped over her body and grabbed his keys. “Either you get these silly ideas about school out of your head or I’ll beat them out of you!” E’Bell slammed the door shut on his way out.

  Kenny tore into the living room, crying as hard as his mother. He covered her with his own body. “Mama, why did he do that to you? You said he would never hit you!”

  “Go back into your room, baby. You don’t need to see me like this.”

  Kenny wiped his mother’s tears with his sleeve. “Let’s just go, Mama. Let’s just go someplace where he can’t hurt you anymore.”

  Kina sat up. “My place is here, Kenny, with you and your father.”

  “But why?”

  “Because I love him. I just want him to stop hurting me.”

  “Who’s gonna make him stop?” wondered Kenny.

  “God will make him stop, baby, one way or the other.” Kina sat up and hugged her son. “He will. Just trust Him.”

  Chapter 37

  “If a man slaps me, it’s a part of the foreplay.”

  —Sullivan Webb

  Sullivan looked over her shoulder from her seat on the front pew. She hadn’t spoken to Lawson, Angel, or Kina since the disastrous dinner a week prior. Even if they weren’t speaking to her, she still wanted to know that they were there.

  “I want to thank the choir for that beautiful selection,” boomed Charles’s voice from the pulpit. “And like they said, just a little talk with Jesus makes it right!” The congregation shouted in agreement. Charles cleared his throat. “You know, I usually don’t bring politics to the pulpit, but as most of you know, I’m running for county commissioner. The general election is next Tuesday, and I’m facing the run-off on December first against my opponent, Willie Tucker. With the election being so close, I felt compelled to come up here and tell you all what’s been on my heart. Is that all right?” The “amens” and applause told him it was.

  “Over the past few weeks, there’s been a lot of talk around here about political agendas and campaign supporters, but there’s one person who’s always supported me and always had my back with absolutely no hidden agendas. She’s my anchor, my rock. Honestly, without her, I don’t think I would have made it this far. I want to take the opportunity right now to invite her to come up here and stand by my side as my partner in this election, as well as the rest of my life. I love you, Sullivan. Now, bring your pretty self on up here!” A thunderous applause erupted from the crowd. Sullivan timidly made her way next to Charles.

  “I know that I haven’t given you all of the attention and accolades you deserve, but I thank you. You’ve been so patient and loyal, and you’ve proven that I can trust you with the thing closest to me—my heart. You’ve never let me down, and you’ve always been honest with me, even when you thought what you had to say might hurt or disappoint me. It’s my great honor to have you as First Lady of this church and the only lady in my life. I just wanted to say in front of the world how much you mean to me.”

  The guilt that Sullivan had so cleverly avoided for the duration of her affair with Vaughn submerged her with full force, drowning her in lies and betrayal. She was none of those words that Charles had used so eloquently to describe his idea of her. She was a liar and a cheater. She was selfish, and she didn’t deserve his praise any more than she deserved to be standing there next to him. The shame she felt was almost crippling.

  “Baby, is there anything you want to say?” He passed Sullivan the microphone.

  She looked down at the smiling, eager faces, not knowing what words would come tumbling from her lips. She cleared her throat. “I don’t know if I’m worthy of
all those things you said, but thank you.” She handed the microphone back to him.

  “Aw, come on, baby, you can do better than that. We all know you ain’t shy!” The congregation laughed.

  Sullivan shook her head. “No, this is your stage, Charles.”

  “It’s our stage. Any victory I have is just as much your victory as it is mine. None of this would be happening if you weren’t in my life.”

  The shame now morphed into tears that trickled down her cheeks.

  “What? What’s wrong, Sully?”

  She wiped her tears. “I love you, and I’m just so proud of you, that’s all.”

  He folded her into his arms and kissed her. “I love you too, baby. Always.”

  “You’re an even better actress than I thought,” teased Lawson as she approached Sullivan following the service.

  “Oh, you’re speaking to me now?” she asked sarcastically.

  Lawson smiled. “Who else is going to give you a kick in the pants when you need it if I don’t?”

  Relieved, Sullivan heartily embraced her friend. “I missed you, girl!”

  “I missed your ol’ crazy tail too.” Lawson grabbed Sullivan’s purse. “Come on. Dinner’s at my house today, and don’t worry about clearing it with Charles. It’s already taken care of. He said for you to come and have a good time. He’s tired of seeing you mope around the house pretending to be mad at us.”

  Anyone watching the foursome laughing and talking around Lawson’s table would have never guessed that they’d spent the last seven days not speaking. After a round of apologies and a slice of Lawson’s banana cream pie, all was well in the sister circle.

  “So, Reggie really moved out?” asked Angel, noting her obvious absence.

  “Yep, she’s in the back grabbing the last of her things as we speak.”