Flaws and All

by Shana Burton

  Theresa nodded a little. “I’d like that very much, Angel. I’m so glad we’ve had this time to get to know one another.”

  “I am too,” Angel admitted. “In fact, I feel blessed to be able to call you my friend.”

  “You’re my friend and my sister in God’s kingdom,” replied Theresa. “I couldn’t have asked for a better nurse, friend, and confidante over the last few weeks.”

  “It’s been my pleasure.” Angel reached down and gave Theresa a hug. “Now, I’m going to light that tree over there before those munchkins eat all the ornaments!”

  Theresa gave Angel a slight wave and settled her head snugly into the pillow.

  Duke brushed her hair back. “You all right, baby? You look a little pale.”

  “I’m just tired. All I want to do is lie here and count my blessings and think about how happy I am right now.”

  “You sure I can’t get you anything?”

  “I’m fine. You go on back up front with Angel and the girls.”

  He kissed her hand. “You know how much I love you, right?”

  She nodded. “Thank you for loving me and making the past nine years worth living.”

  Duke scooted next to her on the sofa. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself while we’re out there.”

  “No, it’s okay. It makes me feel good to see you all happy and carrying on like old times. It lets me know that no matter what happens, everything is going to be all right.”

  He brushed his lips softly across hers. “I’ll be right out here. I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.”

  “Go on. I’m fine,” she whispered. “The girls are waiting.” He walked to the door and turned to smile at her one last time. Theresa looked on and smiled as they trimmed the tree. Their laughter was music to her ears. She was finally at peace. Then she closed her eyes and quietly slipped away.

  Chapter 49

  “This may be the last chance I have to say good-bye.”

  —Kina Battle

  Riding in the ambulance, Kina sat numb as the paramedics fought to save E’Bell’s life. Everything had happened so fast: one minute she was trying to escape for her and her son’s life; the next, E’Bell was hemorrhaging from a bullet wound, inflicted by their son, that had pierced from his back to his chest. E’Bell had gained consciousness, but Kina knew that his condition was grim. He’d lost a lot of blood, and she overheard one of the medics say that his heart rate was dropping. No one was sure if he’d even make it to the hospital alive.

  Once they’d reached the hospital, Kina made a brief call to Lawson to let her know what was going on. She watched helplessly as the surgeons rushed E’Bell down a hospital corridor. She declined one doctor’s offer to examine the gash on the side of her head from the sconce; she only wanted them to focus on E’Bell. His surgeon only stopped long enough to inform her that they wouldn’t be able to tell her anything definitive for several hours, and she should pray.

  Pacing the waiting room floors, Kina found herself torn between being E’Bell’s wife and E’Bell’s victim, but the stakes were a lot higher now. He was her husband and the man she’d loved since she was fifteen years old, and he lay just a few feet away from her, close to dying. If he died, she’d have to raise their son alone, and her son would have to live for the rest of his life with the guilt of killing his father. If E’Bell lived, she would have to decide whether to leave him or stay. Her conscience wouldn’t let her leave to fend for himself a man who had barely escaped death, but she knew that if she stayed, there was every possibility that E’Bell’s violent rages would escalate. She would have avoided one bad situation only to end up in a worse one. Would resigning herself to spending her life with a man who it turns out she barely knew at all force her to forgo someone who could be the love of her life, a man who could give her and Kenny the family that she’d always longed to have?

  Her search for answers led her to pray at the hospital’s chapel. It was the one place on earth where she expected to find answers.

  Kina lit a candle once she entered the modest chapel and kneeled down at the altar and prepared her heart to speak to God.

  She looked up and saw Lawson smiling down on her. “I knew I’d find you here.”

  Kina rose and smiled. “Thank you for coming. Did you pick up Kenny from the neighbors?”

  “Yeah, he’s right outside. Garrett and Namon are with him.”

  “How is he?”

  “Quiet. I tried to get him to open up, but I think he’s still in shock.”

  “I can’t imagine what he must be going through right now.”

  “Kenny will be fine. He’s strong and resilient. We’ll all help him get through this.” Kina nodded. “How is E’Bell? Better yet”—Lawson examined the gash on Kina’s head from her fall—“how are you?”

  Kina touched her head. “This is nothing. I’ll heal, but E’Bell . . . the doctors are in with him now.” She shook her head, trying to hold back tears. “It doesn’t look good, Lawson.”

  Lawson put her arms around her cousin. “God is still in control. Nothing is going to happen that He can’t give you the strength to handle, okay?”

  Kina wiped her eyes. “Did you tell the others?”

  “Yeah, Sullivan is on her way. I couldn’t get in touch with Reggie, but I left a message telling her to come. Angel is at Duke’s. I think Theresa has taken a turn for the worse, so I told her to stay there with the girls and Duke.”

  “That’s probably best. There’s not much she can do here anyway. I need to see my son. Please take me to him.”

  Lawson led Kina to where Kenny, Namon, and Garrett were waiting. Kenny rushed into his mother’s arms, sobbing. “It’s my fault!” he wailed. “I did this to Daddy! You told me not to mess with Daddy’s gun, and I didn’t listen.”

  Kina rubbed his head. “Nobody is blaming you, Kenny. You probably saved my life. You’re a hero.”

  “But Daddy’s gonna be real mad now! What if he tries to hurt you again?”

  Kina shook her head. “We don’t have to worry about that anymore, I promise.” She hugged her son tightly.

  Garrett tapped Kina on the shoulder. “The doctors need to have a word with you. Kenny can stay here with us if you want.”

  Kina nodded and released Kenny. “Thank you, Garrett.”

  A nurse approached Kina. “Ma’am, if you don’t mind following me, I can take you in to speak with your husband’s doctor.”

  “You don’t have to go in there alone,” said Lawson. “I’m right here with you.”

  Holding on to Lawson’s hand, Kina took a deep breath and followed the nurse, praying that she had the strength to face whatever news was waiting for her.

  The doctor’s prognosis was bleak at best. After surviving the harrowing surgery, E’Bell was moved to the intensive care unit and listed in critical condition. The doctors held out little hope for a full recovery. They had managed to dislodge the bullet, but not before tremendous damage had been done to E’Bell’s organs. That, coupled with the fact that he’d lost so much blood, worried his physician. Too much internal damage had been done, and E’Bell, still unconscious, seemed to have lost his will to live.

  “I need to see him,” Kina told the doctor after hearing the prognosis. “I just want him to know we’re here. This may be the last chance I have to say good-bye.”

  The doctor consented to the visit, and he and Lawson left to join the rest of the family.

  As Kina crept into the room, the first thing she heard was the ominous beeping from the machines assuring that E’Bell’s heart was still beating. Seeing him bandaged and hooked up to machines brought tears to her eyes.

  Kina made her way over to his bed and pulled up a chair beside him. She felt his hands. They were cold and didn’t flinch at her touch. His eyes were closed, and he was perfectly still. If the monitors hadn’t assured her otherwise, she might have thought he was dead.

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she whispered and wound her fi
ngers around his hand. “The doctors are doing all they can, but it’s really up to you now . . . and God.” She looked eagerly into his face, hoping to see some eye movement, even a flutter. He lay motionless.

  “I was so scared for you when they wheeled you in here. I thought we’d lost you. If that had happened, I don’t know . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Can you squeeze my hand? Just let me know if you can hear me,” she entreated. Nothing happened. “Maybe it’s better this way. At least now you have to listen to me before putting your two cents in.” She laughed a little.

  “You know what I was thinking about earlier? The night of our senior prom and how happy we were that day. I remember thinking, ‘He’s the one, Kina.’ And it wasn’t just because I was pregnant with Kenny. I was in love with you from the day we first met.”

  She sighed and laid her head down on his stomach. “What happened to us, E’Bell? Maybe if I’d found out the truth sooner, or if we’d gotten help for both of us, things would be different. Perhaps you’d be somewhere happy instead of tied to some machine for something our son did because of what you did to me.” She began to cry. “I want you to know that I forgive you. I have to, as much for you as for me. I’m sorry that we weren’t what the other one needed and that we didn’t turn our marriage over to God like we should have.

  “I want you to know that I tried to be a good wife to you. I don’t doubt that you wanted to be a good husband for me, you just didn’t know how to.” Kina wiped her tears and regained her composure.

  “The easiest thing in the world for me to do right now would be to say that you brought this on yourself and that you deserve to die for what you did to me, but I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to pray for God to keep you under His protection and release any ill will I have for you in my heart. It’s also my prayer that you can forgive Kenny and forgive yourself.”

  She sat up. “I just want you to get better, E’Bell. Even if I never see you again, I want you to get well, be strong, finish school, and live to see our son become a man. If I could take back a lot of what went wrong in our marriage, I would. But I want you to know that I don’t regret the good times that we did share and bringing our precious baby into the world together. I just wanted you to know that.”

  The door cracked open and a nurse poked her head in the door. “Ma’am, I need to check on our patient. It’ll only take a minute.”

  “Well, I guess that’s my cue,” Kina said, rising. “You take care, E’Bell, and I’ll be back to see you as soon as I can.” She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “God still loves you no matter what you’ve done.”

  Kina sent for Kenny when the doctor alluded that E’Bell may not make it through the night. When Kenny entered and saw his father hooked to tubes and breathing machines, he was frightened and just quietly stared at him.

  “What’s wrong with him, Mama? Why isn’t he moving?” he asked.

  “Your dad is very sick, and he needs to know that we are here for him and that we want him to get better.”

  “Didn’t the doctors get the bullet out?”

  “Yeah, champ, and they’re doing all they can to help him, but it might not be enough.”

  “But he’s not going to die, right?”

  Kina exhaled and looked her son in the eyes. “I don’t want to lie to you, Kenny. He might die, that’s still a possibility. But I want you to know how much he loves you. He always will.”

  “But he’s my dad. He’s not supposed to die!” he protested through his watery eyes.

  “Believe me, Kenny. Everybody is trying to do whatever it takes to save your father. Maybe if you talked to him, and he heard your voice, he’d fight harder to come back to us.”

  Kenny kneeled down beside his father and begged him not to die. Kina ached for her son. She could hardly watch him suffering that way. She kneeled down next to Kenny and lightly touched E’Bell’s arm.

  “E’Bell, I know that you can’t see it right now, but you have a lot to live for. Kenny needs his father, and you still have a lot of living to do. This isn’t your time to die. I need for you to fight. I need you to hold on.”

  Kenny cried on his mother’s chest, and Kina tried her best to comfort him. After a while, Kenny dozed off to sleep, and he and Kina kept vigil at E’Bell’s bedside. Despite everything he’d done, Kina still cared about E’Bell and didn’t want to see him succumb to his injuries. She wanted him to live a long, full life, even if it was going to be without her.

  “I know that there is a lot of good in you, E’Bell,” she whispered. “You’ve always had so much love to give. Somewhere down the line, it just got misguided. I want you to know that I don’t hate you and that I forgive you.”

  Suddenly, E’Bell’s eyes began to flutter.

  “Kenny, look! I think he’s waking up!” said Kina, rousing him to attention. E’Bell partially opened his eyes and turned his head to look at them.

  “You came back!” exclaimed Kenny.

  Kina cupped his face in her hands. “I’ll be right back. I want to tell the doctor you’ve regained consciousness.”

  E’Bell grunted, trying to speak. His eyes motioned her to sit down. His chest heaved up and down with seeming difficulty. Again, he tried to force himself to speak. “Sorry . . . Ki . . . sorry . . . hurt . . . you.”

  “I forgive you. Don’t worry about that now. Concentrate on getting better. I need to get your doctor.”

  E’Bell shook his head then shifted his eyes to Kenny. “Not mad, son . . .” He gazed at Kenny for a moment. “Tryin’a . . . protect . . . your mama.”

  Kenny wrapped his arms around his father. “I love you, Daddy.”

  E’Bell smiled briefly before taking what was to be his last breath. The heart monitor flatlined. He was gone.

  Chapter 50

  “He was a very complicated man who had a lot of demons inside of him.”

  —Kina Battle

  “Ma’am, I’m Detective Keith Ross, and I need to ask you and your son a few questions,” grumbled a detective waiting for Kina the moment she and Kenny emerged from E’Bell’s room once he was pronounced dead.

  Kina frowned. “Questions about what?”

  The officer pulled out a notebook and a pen. “A man is dead, and we need to get to the bottom of why.”

  Lawson stepped in front of Kina and Kenny as if to shield them. “Kina and Kenny are the victims here.” Lawson pulled Kina’s hair back to reveal the cut on the side of her head. “My cousin was just trying to protect his mother.”

  “Don’t say anything else, Lawson,” ordered Sullivan. “You either, Ki. Not until we have an attorney present.”

  Kina panicked. “Is my son under arrest, officer?”

  “We just need to clear up a few things,” replied the detective. “According to the statements we got from your neighbor and the nine-one-one operator, your son is the one who actually pulled the trigger. Is that correct?”

  Kina clung to her son. “He wasn’t trying to kill him. He saw his father beating on me and tried to save me.”

  “The kid’s father just died. Give him a break!” screeched Lawson.

  Detective Ross was unfazed as he addressed Kina again. “Do you mind bringing your son down to the station?”

  Sullivan whipped out her cell phone. “She will do no such thing! I’m calling my lawyer.”

  The detective continued his line of questioning as Sullivan stepped off to speak with her lawyer. “Mrs. Battle, were you aware that there was an unregistered gun in the house?”

  “That was E’Bell’s gun,” blurted out Kina. “I asked him to get rid of it a thousand times.”

  The detective scribbled something in his notebook. “Did your husband have a license to carry it?”

  Kina shook her head. “I don’t know, but I doubt it.”

  Kenny seized Kina’s arm. “Mama, what’s going on?”

  “Honey, the police just want you to talk to them about what happened to Daddy,” answered Kina.

 
Kenny gulped. “Am I in trouble?”

  Kina offered him a reassuring smile. “No, baby, God is going to see to it that everything will be all right. We just have to trust Him, okay?”

  Sullivan returned. “My lawyer is meeting us down at the station. He said not to say anything else to the police until he gets there.”

  “Do we have to go this minute?” questioned Kina. “Sir, my husband just died. Can’t this wait until tomorrow or next week?”

  “It’s better to go ahead and get it over with while the details are fresh in everybody’s mind.”

  Kina relented, fearing that the nightmare she thought was finally over had only just begun.

  Kenny yawned as Kina unlocked the door to their apartment. She could tell that her son was just as drained physically as he was emotionally. After a grueling interrogation at the police station, it was determined that Kenny acted in self-defense. Because of his age and the extenuating circumstances, no further action would be taken against him.

  “It’s been some day, hasn’t it?” asked Kina as she led Kenny to the sofa.

  Kenny laid his head on his mother’s lap. “I feel tired, but I can’t go to sleep.”

  “I think we’re both feeling that way, champ. A lot has happened today. It’s going to take a while for it all to sink in. I want you to try to get some sleep, though. Tomorrow might be a busy day too.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, we have a lot of family and friends who love us and cared about your father. They’ll probably want to drop by to offer their condolences.”

  “What’s condolences?”

  “It’s when people feel bad for your loss, and they want to share that pain with you and help you grieve. It’s their way of comforting the family.”

  “Are they gonna be mad at me for shooting Daddy?”

  “No one is upset with you for that, Kenny. People will understand why you did it. Even your dad understood. Didn’t he tell you he wasn’t mad before he died?”