She Said, She Said

by Celeste Norfleet

  May 1985

  Keith Tyler wrote in my yearbook! I am too pumped. I knew he liked me too. I told Grace—ha! I don’t know why she doesn’t like him. Hell, half the girls at school have a crush on him but I really love him. I can’t wait to talk to him in school tomorrow.

  What? Wait…Tamika flipped through a few pages forward then backward. Then she scrambled to look for more diaries dated back before this one, scattering them all over the attic floor. But they were all scrambled up. The dates in the books were out of order and all over the place.

  It looked as though when her mother wrote she just grabbed any book and started writing, or maybe this was her way of keeping everybody out since the dates didn’t make any sense, the diaries didn’t make any sense. Tamika picked up another book and scanned through. It was the same thing. Years, months, days were all mixed up together. It was frustrating to follow any one story line since everything was everywhere and there was no telling when the entries would start or end.

  Refusing to be daunted, Tamika persevered. She gathered all the diaries she could find and went back to her bedroom and started reading.

  Chapter 10

  Laura

  Laura stretched lazily and sank deeper beneath the covers. Still half-asleep from hanging out the night before with her friends, she was feeling great. It had been about two weeks now and she was still enjoying Fraser, thanks to Grace and her other friends. She lay there awhile longer, then got up halfheartedly, went downstairs and was surprised that Tamika was already up.

  “Good morning,” Tamika said happily.

  “Good morning right back. Wow, look at this spread,” Laura said as she checked out the food on the table. Toasted bagels, cream cheese, cheddar cheese, cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes and watermelon covered the kitchen table. She grabbed a piece of melon and bit into it. “Mmm, good, sweet, juicy. So, who did all this, your aunt Sylvia?” she asked, taking a napkin and wiping a drip of juice from her chin as she glanced around the kitchen.

  “No, I did it,” Tamika said. “Do you want coffee or tea?” she asked with a cup of each in her hand.

  “I’ll take coffee, thanks,” Laura said. “So, what is all this about?”

  “We’re celebrating,” Tamika said happily.

  “Really? What are we celebrating?”

  “It’s been two weeks exactly,” Tamika said as soon as her mom sat down at the table.

  “What do you mean?” Laura asked as she poured cream into her coffee mug. Thankfully she’d purchased a coffeemaker the second day they’d arrived.

  “You said I’d only have to be here for two weeks and then I could go back to Boston for my internship.”

  “Tamika, look at this place. We’re not near about done here. And your father’s in Tokyo now. You’re not staying at the house alone.”

  “But you said two weeks.”

  “I said we’d see how things were going after two weeks. Your father promised you’d be back, not me.”

  “So that’s it? I’m stuck here, then?”

  “Is here so bad?”

  “Yeah,” she said quickly.

  “Tamika, give me a break,” Laura said.

  “This is so wrong.”

  “Oh, please, don’t even think about giving me your drama. You’ve been here for two weeks. Have you even stepped a foot outside?” she asked. Tamika opened her mouth to respond but was cut off. “Past the front porch?” Laura added. “No, you haven’t even given this place a chance, have you? You stay in the house locked in, refusing to go out and even see what Fraser has to offer.”

  “It has nothing,” Tamika said.

  “And how would you know that?”

  “I checked online.”

  “Online?” Laura asked.

  Tamika nodded.

  “Fine, whatever. When this place is finished we’ll go, not before.”

  Tamika walked out. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry anymore.

  Laura sipped her coffee and decided not to continue the conversation with Tamika. The idea of sending her back had seriously occurred to her. But then a recurrence of the kitchen fire played in the back of her mind. She had grown up since then but she just couldn’t take the chance.

  “What are you two arguing about this early in the morning?” Sylvia asked as she walked into the kitchen.

  “We weren’t arguing, we were having a discussion.”

  “Funny, sounded a whole lot like arguing to me.”

  “She’s pissed as usual.”

  “Why, what’d you do?”

  “Me? I didn’t do anything. Why would you think I did something?”

  Sylvia sat down and shook her head. “So, what’s all this?”

  “Tamika’s idea of a bribe, I guess. She put this together to remind me that it’s been two weeks.”

  “What’s two weeks mean?”

  “Her internship starts tomorrow and Malcolm all but promised that she could go back to Boston after two weeks.”

  “So she wants to leave?” Sylvia asked.

  “Yes,” Laura said.

  Sylvia nodded, understanding. “Maybe you could meet halfway or find a compromise.”

  “Aunt Syl, there is no halfway. She can’t be up there by herself. The last time—”

  “Yes, yes, I know, the refrigerator was on fire. But see this from her point of view, from a teenager’s point of view. She wants this. She was looking forward to it, right?”

  Laura nodded.

  “So give her a break.”

  “Fine,” Laura said, standing. “I’m gonna get dressed.”

  She went upstairs. She stopped at Tamika’s bedroom. The door was closed; she knocked and waited for a response.

  A few seconds later the door opened and Tamika peeked out.

  “Tamika, you can’t go back to Boston by yourself.”

  “Come with me,” Tamika said.

  “There’s still work to do here.”

  Tamika shrugged. “Okay, fine.”

  Laura wasn’t in the mood to deal with another argument with her daughter, so she just walked away. It was obvious that Tamika wasn’t enjoying herself. All she did was stay in her bedroom, play on her computer and talk on the phone. How could that possibly be any fun? Moments later Laura’s cell phone rang. It was one of her friends. She decided to deal with Tamika later.

  Chapter 11

  Tamika

  Being pissed off seemed to be the order of the day, so Tamika just went with it. It had been two weeks and it was obvious that they weren’t leaving. She heard her mother laughing and talking on the phone down the hall. Obviously she was having a good old time. Tamika picked up a diary and started reading again.

  Since she used to like puzzles when she was younger, Tamika started putting the diary dates back to rights as best she could. It had become a kind of mission for her. There was still no real understanding to the order, but at least she was able to find some sequence of events. And since her mother apparently only wrote in the diaries when, as instructed by Aunt Sylvia on her tenth birthday, she felt like screaming, the entries only detailed good things or bad things.

  October 1983

  I want to get my ears pierced again. What’s the big deal? Everybody has at least two or three holes in their earlobes except me. It’s not like I’m asking for a tattoo or something crazy like that. By the way, Deb has a tattoo of a heart on her hip. Mom and Dad don’t even know.

  September 1981

  Today is the first day of school. High school, I forgot how much I hate this place, same stupid people, same stupid stuff. Everybody hates me but that’s okay because I hate them too. I hate this place. I can’t wait to leave. Thank God for Grace!!

  June 1985

  Keith is an ASSHOLE! He wrote the same thing in every girl’s yearbook. JERK!!!

  December 1985

  I stayed over with Aunt Syl for Christmas. We went to two concerts. I’m so glad that her new boyfriend works for the radio station and a record label. He gets all kinds of cool ticket
s. I am totally coming back here next month. Prince is coming!!!

  April 1983

  He asked me to tutor him! YEAH!!!

  August 1978

  It’s HOT as HELL! Deb had a girl. YEAH, I’m an auntie!!

  October 1981

  Does it look like we have money? Yeah, we live in the biggest house on the block and the stupid town is named after somebody in my family from way back, but that don’t mean we have a ton of money. Anyway, Deb is in trouble. She stayed out all night and decided to drop out of school. Mom and Dad are pissed off.

  November 1981

  Shit!!! In American history class today we studied the history of our town. Like I need a history lesson to tell me that, I hear it all the time. My grandmother tells me every other day. So of course I have to hear what I heard all my life in school. All about my slave ancestor who screwed some old white guy and got pregnant. General Joseph Fraser was a jerk. I hate this place.

  March 1982

  Deb is in trouble again but instead of taking it out on her I get punished. All I want to do is go over to Grace’s house for her sleepover. But NO, I can’t go because Deb is in trouble and I MIGHT get in trouble too. I hate her sometimes. When I have kids I’m never gonna live here. I’m gonna move as far away from this place as I can and NEVER, NEVER, EVER come back. Then I’m gonna let my kids do exactly what they want to do no matter what it is.

  August 1982

  The shit hit the fan and Deb is in serious trouble. What is wrong with her???

  September 1982

  Since I spent most of the summer with Aunt Syl in Atlanta, I missed everything going on around here. Grace permed her hair and left it on too long. Then her mother made her go to her friend in Elwood to get most of it cut off because most of it fell out anyway.

  October 1982

  I cut my hair in solidarity, HA! Yeah, me!!! They hate it but I LOVE it!!!

  October 1985

  As usual, I spent the morning sitting beside Keith. I swear he’s perfect. Grace still thinks I’m crazy. She thinks I like him. I lied and told her that I’m all over him but really I’m not.

  December 1985

  My aunt Syl picked me up this weekend. I hope we have fun at her place. I love going there. At least she lets me do things.

  March 1977

  Sometimes I hate my sister. Debra is so selfish and my parents let her do anything she wants. Right now she gets to hang out with her friends and I can’t go with her. I hate this place.

  September 1977

  Debra was visiting her friend but now she’s not coming back. Mom and Dad are all upset. Aunt Syl came over last night.

  December 1983

  I saw Keith over Christmas vacation. I know I can’t believe it myself. I was so shocked. We were in the mall looking for something to give my dad for Xmas and I looked out the store window and there he was just standing there. It was weird and scary because I saw him in Atlanta.

  There was something strange about reading her mother’s teenage diary, and even though all the entries were all scrambled she still got a pretty good sense of what her mother was like when she was a teenager. Aunt Syl was right. She apparently didn’t have much of a teen life. She was overprotected and sheltered and the only fun she seemed to have was with Aunt Syl.

  Tamika tried putting the entries in some kind of a chronological order, but it still didn’t seem to work. After reading a few more entries she recognized a familiar admission from one she had read earlier. It was about what her mother wanted to do when she had children.

  May 1983

  I still can’t believe I’m an aunt. Deb’s little girl is so sweet. I want to be just like Aunt Sylvia. Or even better, I want to be a fun mom when I grow up and have kids. Maybe I’ll have a daughter and name her Tamika. But either way I’m never gonna live here in Fraser. I’m moving as far away from this place as I can and NEVER, NEVER, EVER coming back. Then I’m gonna let my kids do exactly what they want to do no matter what it is.

  Tamika lay back and wondered what had happened between then and now. The heat of the day made her sleepy. She lay down and closed her eyes, continuing to consider her mother’s diaries. Moments later she fell asleep. When she woke up there was a note on her bed. Aunt Sylvia had gone out visiting and her mother had gone out and wouldn’t be back until late. She ate, checked out her MySpace, watched television, then went back to sleep.

  Chapter 12

  Laura

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” Laura said, then paused for a response. “Good morning,” she repeated. “Come on, time to get up, rise and shine.”

  Hearing her, Tamika didn’t move, of course, as an uninvited voice sang out, breaking the constant chatter of morning birds.

  “Hey, good morning in there.”

  Tamika opened one eye, groaned, then rolled over and covered her head with the floral top sheet, but the bright sun streamed through the cotton anyway. She grabbed and held tight just as the room brightened even more. Hearing her mother rip the curtains open, she grabbed a pillow and covered her head, then groaned again.

  “Good morning,” Laura repeated.

  “Morning,” Tamika groaned.

  “Are you ready to get your day started?”

  “What time is it?” Tamika muttered.

  “Ten-thirty,” Laura said in that chipper way she did as she sat down on the side of the bed.

  “Ten-thirty in the morning?”

  “Of course in the morning. Come on, time to get up. The sooner we get started, the sooner we’ll be done. I need to run out for an hour or so this morning. I have a list of things I need to pick up so come on, get up and get started. I made breakfast.”

  As if she hadn’t just heard what her mother said, Tamika only focused on the time. “It’s ten-thirty in the morning.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Wait, you cooked breakfast?” Tamika said.

  “Yes, I cooked breakfast.”

  “Where’s Aunt Syl?”

  “Aunt Syl decided to go visit a friend.”

  “Another sick friend? How many sick friends does she have and what does she do, make house calls or something? For real, everybody she knows is sick. What’s up with that? Don’t you think that’s strange?” Tamika asked.

  Laura never said that her aunt’s friend was sick and she didn’t correct Tamika’s wrong assumption either.

  “She’ll be back probably tomorrow. So I thought it would be nice to have breakfast together for a change. We’ve been here awhile now, so I thought I’d do something a little special. Now come on before the food gets cold. You need a full stomach. We have a lot to do today.”

  “Mom, the last time you cooked breakfast for me I was in elementary school.”

  “Correction. That was the last time you ate a breakfast I cooked. I’ve cooked breakfast, you just refused to eat, running out of the house every morning like the place was on fire.”

  “That’s ’cause I eat at school,” Tamika said as she finally sat up and opened both eyes.

  “Never mind about that. Come on, get up. I’m pouring pancakes in five minutes.”

  “Carbs?”

  “Yes, carbs. Get your butt up and come on downstairs,” she said, then stood up. “By the way, I spoke to Aunt Syl before she left this morning. She told me that you were ready to get started getting this place cleared out.”

  “She told you that?” Tamika asked.

  “Yes, I think it’s a good idea. Maybe we should start taking care of business, which is why I’m headed out after breakfast to pick up some packing supplies.”

  “Is that all she said?” Tamika asked.

  “Yes, why? Is there more I need to know?”

  “No, nothing. We were just talking about growing up and mosquitoes the other night.”

  “Mosquitoes?”

  “Yes, we might need to pick up some outdoor spray.”

  “All right, come on, then, let’s get started. Breakfast is in ten minutes.”

  Of course get
ting her daughter downstairs took much longer than the ten minutes she allotted her. A fifteen-minute shower and another fifteen minutes to dress and primp finally brought Tamika to the kitchen table.

  Forty-five minutes later, after a surprisingly leisurely breakfast with her daughter where they discussed packing up, Laura got in the car, slid the roof back and drove off. She reached over and found a radio station she used to listen to years ago. They just happened to be playing the same Chris Brown song she’d heard driving into town a couple of weeks ago. She started laughing and singing along.

  With her list in hand she started checking off stops each time she picked up supplies. Boxes, tape, bubble wrap, markers and more boxes. Next to the hardware store was a cute little clothing boutique.

  Laura stood at the front window admiring the fashions. In a reflection behind her she saw two teens walk by in a slow, carefree, lackadaisical cadence. They were talking happily as they went inside. One tall and thin, the other shorter and heavier, they reminded her of Tamika and her friend Lisa.

  Her thoughts immediately went to her daughter and then to their drive into town. Singing happily, then in the attic looking at old photos, they had had a great time and really connected. Tamika’s sullen mood seemed to ease away and she was a joy to be with. Earlier she’d been so different. She was at her wits’ end with her daughter and just didn’t know what to do about her anymore. It seemed that lately they were living in two different worlds.

  She walked into the store and looked around. Perfect.

  She picked up a cute top for Tamika, then decided to get one for herself. She tried it on and decided to wear it. She also added sunglasses and then grabbed a huge straw hat. She walked out wearing her new purchases and feeling fantastic.