The Forsaken Love of A Lord

by Vayden, Kristin

  Assuming it was the talk, the one reserved for maidens just before their wedding night, Olivia found herself anxious and feeling exceedingly awkward. This was not a conversation she wished to have with her mother.

  Their relationship was one of strain, of differing opinions on almost everything. Where Olivia valued honesty, her mother valued whatever would end her in good graces with those around her. It wasn’t a horrible trait, yet that slight dishonesty seemed to trickle down into other areas of her life, including her relationship with her husband and daughter.

  It was with this strained spirit that Olivia walked into her mother’s private parlor. After knocking softly, she entered after her mother bade her to come in. The room was softly lit with candles, and a fire crackled in the hearth. The room wasn’t overly large, so Olivia only took a few steps before she took the seat her mother silently gestured toward.

  “I assume you have made some deductions as to why I asked for a private conversation,” her mother asked, her tone quiet. She still wore her dinner dress, and appeared the stately lady of rank she indeed was, yet as Olivia met her gaze, she rather wished that the woman before would break habit and be more of a nurturing spirit.

  “Yes, Mother,” Olivia replied politely.

  “Then I’ll not ease into the conversation.” Her mother shifted, though it wasn’t awkward as if she were uncomfortable with the topic at hand. Instead, it was a dismissive gesture, as if the entire conversation was a waste of her precious time.

  Olivia swallowed forcibly, dreading her mother’s take on what Olivia was expecting to be a tender and passionate experience.

  And she wasn’t wrong.

  Thankfully, her mother had taken the easier road and simply stated that what she needed to know, she’d simply learn from her husband.

  Relieved that the conversation and private visit were nearly over, Olivia began to seek her leave, but her mother wasn’t finished.

  If only.

  “I feel it my duty to warn you, however,” her mother began, causing a shiver of uneasiness to tickle her spine.

  “Of?” Olivia asked.

  “Lord Langley. He was quite smitten with your sister. Over the moon. Of course, she was far more… refined than you, my dear. It was simply a natural reaction on his part.” She shrugged delicately.

  Olivia’s heart began to hammer.

  “Men like Langley are always after what they cannot have. You were unreachable, so he sought you. He won, his cards played quite well, I must say.” She examined her nails. “However, I want you to be cautious. I wish I would have said as much to Marybelle. Perhaps then she would still be with us.” Her mother sniffled.

  As if every betrayal that Marybelle had done wasn’t damnable.

  “I’m sure that Langley told you his whole sordid tale, but, my dear, there are a few details I’m sure he omitted.” She leaned forward. “Your sister tried to reason with him. She dared him to live a little freer, and he rejected her. Slowly, he pulled each thread of the tapestry of color that was your sister’s lifeblood, effectively sucking her dry till she had to find a way to break away. When the opportunity presented itself, she, desperate, grasped at it and ran, hoping to find freedom from the prison that had become her life.” Reaching out, her mother leaned forward and patted Olivia’s hand softly. “I wished to protect you from the same fate, which is why I demanded you keep your distance from Langley, yet I failed. And now, your fate is sealed. And there is nothing I, nor you, can do about it. But there is hope.” She offered a secretive smile.

  Olivia’s stomach turned at the twisted delight in her mother’s expression.

  “I’m sure that after Langley feels as though you’ve been thoroughly conquered, he’ll find other ways to divert his attention, leaving you free to do the same. If your sister would have waited a little longer then maybe… ah, I repeat myself.” She shrugged. “Besides, it’s not as if you hold a candle to your sister in beauty. I’m sure he’ll tire of you much quicker, dear. Not to worry.” Her mother made a dismissing gesture with her fingertips and then raised her eyebrows in question when Olivia didn’t move immediately. “That will be all.”

  Effectively dismissed, Olivia stood and walked numbly to the door. As she exited and made her way toward her room, her mind tried to comprehend all that her mother had said. It wasn’t as if she fully believed her mother’s sordid tale, but she knew better than to only look at one side of the story.

  Had Marybelle been betrayed as well? Had Langley played a part on her betrayal, simply because he had driven her to desperation?

  And worse, would he find that after he had, indeed, secured Olivia as his wife, would the chase be over and his affections turn cool?

  Was she fated to be locked in a one-sided marriage?

  These thoughts swirled around in her head, stealing the joy of the earlier moments with Lord Langley. They stayed with her long into the night — the second to last night before her life would be irrevocably altered.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  EDWARD AWOKE WITH THE most delightful idea. More than anything he wished to see his betrothed, and what better way than to have a picnic in Hyde Park? Women loved picnics, did they not? It was a romantic gesture! He mentally patted himself on the back for thinking of such a great overture, tossing aside the earlier self-accusation that he was out of practice when it came to the fairer sex. If anything, Olivia’s passionate kiss yesterday proved his fears obsolete.

  This was a love match, plain and simple.

  Of course, he had yet to say the words, but he didn’t want to appear too hasty in speaking them; rather, he wanted her to hear him avow his affection in a way that would leave no seed of doubt lingering in her heart or mind. And truthfully, he wished for the same.

  Because, of the two of them, he was the one unworthy of her.

  Yet she wanted him, and if he were correct, she even possibly loved him.

  The day could not get any better! That was, unless it skipped a full twenty-four hours and was his wedding day somehow.

  He chuckled to himself.

  Tomorrow, tomorrow and she’d be his and would be waking up beside him. No more sleeping alone, betrayal a cold bedfellow.

  No, rather a warm and lush woman would torment him long into the night.

  It was a blessed thought.

  After his valet dressed him and he had broken his fast, he made his way to the Pierce residence. Though it was uncharacteristically early, he felt no second thoughts as he knocked on their door and handed his card to the inquiring butler.

  In short time, he was taken to a blue receiving parlor and left to wait, having been informed by the butler that Miss Olivia would be down in a few minutes.

  The grandfather clock ticked the moments away slowly, far too slowly for his liking. And at last, the door opened and Edward felt himself straighten then stand in expectation of seeing his future wife, radiant.

  However, he did not see his future wife, rather his future mother-in-law.

  “Lord Langley,” she greeted warmly, though her eyes never lost a calculating gleam that made his stomach clench. It had been the same way with Marybelle, as if Lady Pierce was utterly unable to view him without conniving in some way.

  “Lady Pierce.” He bowed crisply. “And how are you this fine morning?”

  “Very well, though I must comment on how early it is.” She raised an eyebrow as if chastising him.

  “Indeed, for that I ask your indulgence. I found I couldn’t not wait another moment to see your daughter,” he replied honestly.

  “La, it hearkens back to years ago, does it not? Rather it was a different daughter you were pining after,” she replied lowly as she gradually made her way around the settee, her hand caressing the back cushion as she walked. The movement was odd. As she were trying to draw attention to herself.

  “Actually, with all respect, I find little in common with my presence in this parlor several years prior,” he replied, all the while watching her, instinctively feeling t
he need to be on guard.

  “Two daughters… one man. It begs the question…” she murmured quietly with a seductive tone.

  Edward was immediately on alert as she continued to advance toward him, her eyes focused, honing in on him like a target.

  “Lady Pierce, I assure you that any questions you have are entirely inapplicable to my presence here, or yours for that matter. Rather, I ask that you notify your daughter that I’m here and, in the future, would please refrain from having any private audience with me? Have I made myself clear?” Edward leaned forward, his gaze narrowing as he spoke, leaving no room for confusion.

  She tsked her tongue, and shrugged as if severely disappointed and only flirting about it. “You have mistaken my intentions.” She pouted. “I’m simply trying to see to your hospitality since you are a favored guest.” She raised an eyebrow and continued to take small steps toward him.

  Edward was torn between wanting to flee from her presence and hold his ground.

  As blessed providence would have it, Olivia entered just as the moment of decision to fight or flee arrived.

  “Please forgive my tardiness, Lord Langley.” She curtseyed prettily, though her welcoming smile was lacking warmth. Her keen gaze took in her mother’s position and its close proximity to her guest.

  Edward had automatically assumed that Olivia’s presence would have caused her mother’s advance to halt and that she would retreat.

  Not the case.

  Instead, she held her ground, almost posing as if affirming her position beside him.

  It was beyond disturbing.

  Edward immediately backed away and strode to greet his betrothed. “A lovely morning made even brighter by seeing you,” he murmured for her ears only and kissed her wrist softly, inhaling the rosewater fragrance.

  “Thank you.” Her gaze warmed as she smiled, but just as quickly, the expression faded as she quickly glanced away and to her mother.

  It was abundantly clear that they needed to be away from Lady Pierce’s presence with speed.

  “Would you favor me with a turn in the park?” he implored her softly.

  “Y-yes,” she answered. And though her answer was anything but excited, he’d take any form of agreement at the moment.

  Perhaps if they simply got away, he could see what was clouding her gaze. He sensed doubt, insecurity, and fear.

  All emotions he was far too familiar with for comfort.

  Yet his experience was serving him well in this aspect, that he could identify it within his future wife.

  Surely that was a blessing?

  “Do take Polly with you, dear,” her mother commented, her voice far closer than the several paces away where he had left her. Sure enough, as he turned he noticed that she had silently crept up closer during his soft interlude with Olivia.

  “Of course, Mother.” Olivia nodded, without the usual joy and expressive nature he’d come to expect from her.

  Something was definitely amiss.

  “I’ll be just a moment.” Olivia took her leave, no doubt to change into a walking dress.

  Women and their attire… he’d never comprehend.

  And, blast it all, it left him alone with Lady Pierce!

  “I believe I’ll wait out front for Miss Olivia,” he remarked as he turned to leave.

  “You can run, but you’ll never hide. You tried, but it did not work, my lord. It will never work. And when Olivia is no longer of use to you… who will that leave? Only me. Me.” Her tone was thick with implications.

  Edward didn’t spare her a backward glance but strode from the room feeling dirty, abused, and utterly disgusted. Was that what the woman believed? Truly? No wonder Marybelle had gone mad.

  Her mother was just as senseless.

  Yet as he exited the Pierce residence, he had the fleeting insight: what if Marybelle was coached? What if her mother had played a role in the whole debacle?

  He didn’t have much time to think on it as Olivia soon appeared, a prim-looking maid tagging behind her.

  But he’d think on it later.

  Turning his attention to Olivia, he tried to ascertain her emotional state. “And how are you this morning?” he asked, offering her his most winning smile.

  She blushed prettily in response, causing his blood to heat. “I’m quite well, my lord.”

  “Quite well? Ah, then we shall try to amend that.” He shrugged as he offered his arm.

  “Is there something wrong with being quite well?” she asked, tilting her head in a saucy fashion.

  Edward sighed in relief as her personality began to make an appearance. “Yes, indeed. I wish for you to, by the end of our jaunt, have amended your answer to I’m having the most brilliant of days.” He paused and took a flourishing blow.

  “Ah.” She giggled, though the sound was strained. “I’ll do my best to not disappoint.”

  “No, I believe it is my job to make sure that I do not disappoint you.” He resumed walking.

  “I—“

  “Langley!” a familiar voice called.

  Edward resisted the urge to hang his head in denial. No. Anytime but now!

  “Oh look! It’s Mr. Sheppard!” Olivia spoke with her usual enthusiasm.

  The very enthusiasm he was trying to draw out from her.

  Blast it all. It had to be Curtis to provoke such a reaction!

  When all he wanted was for her to save such fervor for him.

  Jealousy slammed into him, hot and unforgiving.

  “Ah, Curtis.” Edward spoke with polite distance, all the while unable to tear his gaze away from his betrothed, whose face had lit into a beatific grin.

  That was not aimed at him.

  Damn it all!

  “Langley, Miss Olivia.” Curtis raised a flirtatious eyebrow and reached for her outstretched hand. Kissing it, he lingered far too long for Edward’s taste.

  So he gently smacked the back of his friend’s back.

  “Ah, jealous, are we?” Curtis slowly rose and shot him an unrepentant glance. “Don’t fret. If you had heard half the questions she had asked me regarding you, you’d feel quite secure in her affection,” he teased.

  “Foul!” Olivia cried out, placing her hands on her hips but continuing to grin wildly. “That is utterly unfair.”

  “Ah, my dear, I believe we’ve already discussed this situation. And I do believe we came to the conclusion that we both got what we wanted,” Edward replied with a devilish grin, hoping to incite the memory of their shared kiss.

  Heaven only knew how much he was remembering it right now.

  And how much he wished to repeat it.

  “Ah, yes,” she answered and glanced down.

  Bloody hell.

  Was she having second thoughts? Did she not feel affection for him as she had implied? Immediately his blood began to run cool with fear, with the intense need to protect himself.

  But he paused.

  No. He’d not close himself off.

  Too long he’d done that very thing, and look where it had landed him. Alone, bitter, and angry.

  This was his one shot at redemption, at hope. He’d not give up.

  “Curtis, if you’ll excuse us.” He nodded and took Olivia by the arm and gently led her away.

  “I’ll be seeing you at the wedding,” Curtis called out, a bit of laughter to his tone.

  “That was quite rude—“ Olivia began.

  “I refuse to share you,” he bit out then took a deep breath. No doubt the poor maid following them was growing concerned. He paused and took a deep breath. “Miss Olivia, may I speak plainly?” He lifted his gaze and waited.

  She searched his gaze then nodded.

  “When I arrived this morning, immediately I noticed your expression of doubt, of fear. I can’t help but feel that perhaps I am the source, and I would like to know why. Have I offended you? Hurt you in any way? Because as abrupt as I can be, I would never wish to cause you distress.” He turned and grasped both of her hands, searching her gaz
e, hoping she’d read the transparence of his.

  “I… in truth I am afraid. You see…”

  She glanced down and began to rub her thumb absently along his palm. It was an exhilarating feeling, especially coupled with her opening up.

  “My mother requested a private audience with me last night. During that time, the conversation was quite... distressing,” she finished.

  Edward sighed and tilted her chin up so that she met his gaze. “I’m assuming that conversation held me as the primary topic?”

  She nodded, not once gazing away.

  “And what was said that made you feel so… distrusting?” he asked as he moved his hand from gently holding her chin to turning to cup her cheek.

  Her gaze softened. “She said many things, but the most distressing, was the implication that you had driven Marybelle to extreme behavior because she felt… unloved. That you had been obsessed with her then conquered her only to find that the chase was over, and you moved on.” She shrugged. “And, being that while I’ve known you for years, our attachment is of the shorter variety. And I find that I’m… concerned that maybe I’m simply a passing fancy as well.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. Closing her eyes, a single tear traced down her cheek.

  Edward struggled against fierce anger toward her mother for such profane information and cold dread that Olivia would feel so… trapped.

  But before he could speak, she opened her eyes and stepped from his caress and began to pace as if frustrated. “And while I have both sides of the story, so to say, I do not see how my mother’s version could add up. That coupled with my own knowledge of my sister, I’m not inclined to believe a word of what she said. Please believe me.“ She turned employing eyes at him, then resumed her pacing. “But it’s still frustrating, and while I wish to not give her story any credence, I find that even the smallest seed of doubt can grow without permission. I hate that this weakness—“

  His lips met hers, effectively cutting of her words. Immediately, she melted in his arms even as the maid, a few paces away, gasped. He gently kissed her a moment longer and released her. “I want you. Only you. I understand your frustration — your fears — and they do not make you weak, rather that you can articulate them to me, and we can lay it all bare is the greatest blessing. Thank you for your honesty, your willingness to be… weak, as you put it. Because to me, that is a true testament of your strength, dear Olivia.” He held her face in his hands then kissed her lightly again, even as the maid cleared her throat loudly.