CAROLINE

by Sue Barr

  “Here’s your culprit,” he said, holding up the burr. “Easy to pick up when you’re traveling through the woods. You can let her go, Daniel. I don’t think she’ll take off again.”

  He tossed the burr aside and quickly mounted Thunder. Daniel released Bess’ halter and remounted his horse.

  “May I join you? I was finishing my ride and taking the trail back to Kympton.”

  “Ride where you please, Lord Nathan.” She gave the reins a quick flick and Bess began a soft trot down the path. “I don’t own the trails of Pemberley any more than you.”

  It was obvious that she remained in a fit of pique over their encounter at the ball, and she had every right. He’d behaved in a high-handed and judgmental manner. How could he expect her to believe God forgives all sins when he couldn’t see past his own jealousy and forgive her?

  “You may go back to Pemberley, Daniel. I’ll escort Miss Bingley from here.”

  “Good enough, guvner.” Daniel tipped his hat and with a firm hand turned his horse around and headed back to Pemberley’s stables.

  Nathan nudged Thunder ahead and came alongside Caroline. She kept her eyes forward, the tilt of her chin letting him know that she was not conceding anything to him. At least not right now, although he suspected she had some kind of tendre for him.

  “Miss Bingley, I apologized after our uncomfortable incident—”

  “Incident? Is that what we are calling it now?

  Blast it all, he’d put his foot in it again. At one time he may have been able to read the nuances of a woman’s psyche, but then, they’d been as debauched as he. A crook of his eyebrow brought a majority of women to his side, and although he’d taunted her with the thought that he’d seduced innocent young women, nothing could be further from the truth. He’d made sure to avoid the prim and proper young misses like a healthy man avoids a plague ridden city.

  He brought Thunder in front of her horse, forcing her to stop. This seemed to be a replay of his actions in the stable and didn’t make him any more comfortable, but he wished to speak with her in a forthright manner.

  “In no way do I minimize my behavior. I treated you with complete disdain and can only blame myself. You behaved with perfect manners and have done nothing to be ashamed.”

  She gave an elegant sniff yet refused to look at him.

  He sighed deeply. How could he reach her and achieve forgiveness?

  “Miss Bingley, I hold you in high regard. You intrigue me and for that reason I find myself looking for you in the crowd. I’d like us to begin again and be friends.”

  She finally faced him and held his gaze.

  “You look for me in the crowd?”

  “Yes, Miss Bingley,” he said with a slight smile. “I look for you in the crowd. How else would I have noticed you leave the ballroom? It was an absolute crush.”

  A secretive smile crossed her lips, so quickly he’d have missed it had he not been watching so close. “I thought as much,” she whispered, sounding a bit triumphant.

  She stared off into the meadow, as if measuring her thoughts, before glancing back at him. He knew she’d come to a decision and hoped, nay prayed, she’d accept the olive branch he’d extended.

  “I accept your apologies, Lord Nathan and you might do me the courtesy of not believing I’m the blackguard others paint my character as. There are two sides to every story and one day, if I come to trust you, I shall tell you mine.”

  With that, she lightly kicked Bess and moved around his horse, leaving Nathan to follow.

  For a few minutes he enjoyed the view of Miss Bingley riding Bess. Her riding habit of deep hunter green fit her figure most lovingly and her trim hat, accented with deep purple, was perched jauntily atop her braided hair. He decided to bridge the gap between them and start a pleasant conversation. With that in mind, he brought Thunder up alongside her.

  “Miss Bingley, other than the ‘incident’ – she snorted inelegantly and he grinned – did you enjoy the ball?”

  She paused for so long he wondered if she planned on ignoring him the whole ride back to Pemberley. At long last she answered.

  “There were moments that were truly enjoyable. Your brother is an excellent dancer and a fine gentleman. He treated me with the utmost respect, for which I am truly grateful.”

  He was reminded of the behavior of Viscount Stanhope and felt his anger rise again.

  “There were others who were most unjust toward you. I regret taking you anywhere near that man,” he bit out, curbing harsher words he’d like to express.

  “Viscount Stanhope only voiced what many people whispered throughout the night. They seem to think because I’m from ‘trade’ I’m deaf to their conversations. Darcy will bear the brunt of most of their disdain, but I’m sure he was well aware of this before he proposed to Elizabeth.”

  “Stanhope is vulgar and rude. If I were your family or betrothed, I would have called him out for the vile things he suggested.”

  “But then, you are neither, so the point is moot.”

  “What would you say if I wished to change that?”

  The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. The tightening of her hands on the reins let him know she was equally surprised. They rode in silence as he waited for her response.

  “Given the propensity of you misconstruing my intentions, I wish you to clarify that comment,” she said carefully.

  “I’ve never—” He bit back the argument he’d have given. She was right in her assumption; he did jump to conclusions with her.

  Intellectually, she challenged him, more than any other lady of his acquaintance. In comparison, his relationship with Miss Tattersall had been quite colorless, lacking the thrust and parry of unfettered opinions and he appreciated the fact Miss Bingley didn’t seem to hold back when she was frustrated, angry or even sad.

  “You intrigue me. I find myself thinking of things we could discuss when, and if we should meet. Your opinions matter to me, which I find quite refreshing.”

  “You value my opinion? Then why do you chastise me every time we meet?”

  “I find it frustrating that you see society for what it is and yet you pine to become one with it. Given your wealth and the few necessary connections you have, I’m surprised you would allow yourself to become someone’s wife solely for the use of your fortune.”

  “I would expect my husband to respect me. To value my opinion, such as you say you do.”

  “Miss Bingley, this is where the fairy tale ends. If you were successful and managed to gain the attention of a titled gentleman, you most likely would be unsuccessful in retaining his affection.”

  “I disagree. There are many stories of noble men marrying women who were not from titled families.”

  He clenched his jaw in frustration. She refused to see the hard facts, making him wonder if she’d read one too many romantic novels that had become so popular in recent years. It was time she saw life through a clear pane and not one so rose colored.

  “What you say is true, although marriages between the social spheres are becoming more frequent, very few of them are what you might term as a love match. Many from the ton have exhausted their wealth, some through bad investments, most through self-indulgent ways, and are forced to wed an heiress to save their ancestral homes.”

  “I never thought you’d be so cynical. These are your people.”

  “Not cynical, only a realist. Once the requisite heir is born, most of these ‘noble’ men live in Town, carrying on as though they were unencumbered, leaving the controversial wife in the country. Are you sure you wish such a life?”

  “I’d not stay in the country. I would expect to continue living in Town, as I do now.”

  He cut a sideways glance to see for himself if she truly believed that statement. She was not smiling, nor did it look as though she teased him. He reigned in his horse and she followed suit, turning to face him.

  “Miss Bingley, have you forgotten you become your husband’s proper
ty once married? All your wealth becomes his, unless otherwise directed in the marriage agreement. You become his chattel. If he wishes you to stay in the country, there you shall remain.”

  “That’s untenable.”

  “That’s the bleak, hard truth.”

  Lady Bess huffed and pawed the ground, as if sensing the rising agitation from her rider. Caroline chewed her lip, deep in thought and then raised her gaze to his.

  “Would you behave in such a manner?”

  His breath caught at the raw emotion in her emerald eyes. This woman deserved to be loved for herself, not for worldly gain.

  “No, but then, I am not in need of an heiress. When I marry, my wife will be an equal partner, one who shares my desire to serve and she will be cherished. I intend to honor my wife and as the Book of Proverbs states, her children will rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her6.”

  He couldn’t be sure, because she looked away so quickly, but her eyes took on a sudden sheen, as though filled with unshed tears.

  “I think you’ll make a wonderful husband,” she whispered. She flicked the reins and surged ahead. All conversation ended as this part of the trail cut through the dense woods and they had to ride single file.

  Chapter 14

  One single question – What would you say if I wished to change that? – looped through her thoughts. It wasn’t a complete declaration, but the fact he looked for her in the crowd told her clearly if he wasn’t in love with her now, he was well on his way. She couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across her face as she rode ahead of Lord Nathan, anticipation making her heart race.

  She was grateful they had to ride single file, at least for another half mile as it gave her time to think. What would she do if he proposed? Marriage to Lord Nathan meant setting aside her long sought after goal of living amongst Society’s elite. Yes, he was the son of a Duke, but he’d eschewed living in Town many years ago and that wouldn’t change after marriage.

  She relived the moment he’d stood so close their breath mingled, how she’d wanted him to place his arms around her and draw her closer. Physically, she was attracted to him and knew they would enjoy each other’s company, but on the other side of that coin were their debates and arguments. He did state her opinions mattered to him, that he thought of things they could discuss.

  She gave an inelegant snort and Bess huffed out one as well.

  “You are so right, Lady Bess,” she whispered. “Lord Nathan and I have yet to discuss anything without it devolving into an argument and me storming off in anger.”

  “Did you say something, Miss Bingley?” Lord Nathan called to her.

  “No, I’m discussing politics with Lady Bess,” she threw over her shoulder and was rewarded by a soft chuckle coming from behind.

  “Ah...I see. Rest assured that I make it a policy to never come between a lady and her horse as they discuss politics.”

  “At times, Lord Nathan, you are a wise man.”

  “I’m learning, Miss Bingley. I’m learning.” The path widened and he cantered up alongside her. “Did Lady Bess have any insights you care to share?”

  She slid a glance sideways at him, noting his ready smile and how his grey eyes no longer looked like storm clouds. Instead, they sparkled with humor.

  “You, Lord Nathan,” she said in a faux haughty voice, “are not privy to our private conversations. Lady Bess stated, quite categorically, she is exclusive with whom she speaks.”

  “She did, did she?” He looked straight ahead, a smile tugging at his firm mouth.

  “Yes, although she gave me leave to advise that you are welcome to bring her apples.”

  Now he outright laughed and she was hard put not to smile along with him.

  “Then, I shall have to ensure that when I attend Pemberley, I bring along some kind of treat for all the ladies I might visit.”

  Her breath caught at the back of her throat. She didn’t dare look at him, afraid of what she might find. It sounded as though he... flirted with her, but she’d been mistaken more than once when it came to the male species. She refused to rise to his comment and urged Bess into a quicker pace.

  The path wound alongside the trees and continued through the meadow leading to Pemberley. Daniel greeted them when they entered the small courtyard outside the stable and helped her dismount before leading Lady Bess into the stable.

  “Thank you for escorting me back to Pemberley, Lord Nathan.” She gave him a small curtsy and turned to enter the stable. She made a point of brushing Lady Bess herself after a ride, using that time to quiet her thoughts and today she had many things to ponder.

  “Miss Bingley,” Lord Nathan called after her before she disappeared inside the building. “May I call on you later this afternoon?”

  Startled, she froze in place and almost forgot to breathe. Turning slowly, she looked up at him, disconcerted to see an expression she couldn’t quite decipher. Knowing he needed an answer, she took a much needed breath.

  “Yes, you may. We will be having tea around two of the clock this afternoon.”

  “Until then.” He tipped his hat and pulled on the reins to turn his horse around. She stood and watched him canter down the drive until he rounded the corner and disappeared.

  Long, slow strokes of the brush across Lady Bess’s coat soothed the turmoil of her mind. Did Lord Nathan mean to court her? She may have read too much into their conversation, but everything seemed to point toward that very thing.

  Lady Bess bumped her soft nose against her shoulder when the brush stilled as more turbulent thoughts fought for attention.

  “I’m sorry, Bess. I have a lot to think about.”

  She continued brushing, murmuring small nonsense to the gentle mare while her mind raced.

  Was she ready to lend aid to a husband who ministered to those with so little? She thought back to Miss Braithwaite, who’d thanked Lord Nathan effusively for something as simple as broth for a sick woman. At the time she remembered her heart being touched by the humble response from Lord Nathan. There had been no lavish bowing and scraping, complimenting only to receive something in return. He genuinely wished to extend the love of God to his parishioners through service.

  Could she, Caroline Bingley, lower herself to serve others? Could she be the wife he needed?

  “Oh, Bess.” She laid her forehead on Bess’s shoulder. “He confuses me greatly. In between compliments and flirtatious comments, he continues to chastise me. Is this what our marriage would be like?” She stepped back and continued to brush out the mane. “If so, then I’m not sure I would accept.”

  Once Bess was properly brushed down and situated in her stall, she made her way to the house. She had about four hours before Lord Nathan joined them for tea. Her thoughts continued to swirl and she longed for someone in whom she could confide. Someone who would not judge.

  “God, if you can hear me, please send someone I can trust,” she whispered fervently.

  She turned the corner and almost ran into Elizabeth.

  “Caroline. You must have gotten up early to get in a ride already.”

  “Yes, there are times when a little solitude helps clear my mind.”

  “I couldn’t agree with you more, it’s one of the reasons I walk so much. Not only for exercise, but for a chance to clear the cobwebs from my mind.”

  “You were going to read, I shan’t bother you then...” She noticed Elizabeth held a small book in her hand.

  “Nonsense, you are not a bother. I’m only returning this before breaking my fast. Have you eaten?”

  “No. I wanted to ride first.”

  “Then I look forward to you joining me in the breakfast room.”

  They parted ways and Caroline continued on to her room. Lucy waited patiently for her and quickly helped her change and freshen up. She dressed her in one of her new day dresses from Mrs. Braxton. With plans to remain at Pemberley for another three months, she’d placed a few more orders and looked forward to wearing t
hem.

  Within fifteen minutes, she entered the breakfast room and acknowledged Elizabeth before preparing her plate and sitting across from her new, unexpected friend. Could this be the person God sent in answer to her prayer? She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips at the irony of the situation. The one woman she’d despaired over was now seated across from her, soon to be a part of her extended family.

  “What do you find so amusing, Caroline?”

  She glanced up and caught the merry twinkle in Elizabeth’s eyes. At one time this would have annoyed her greatly, but her heart was changing, bit by bit, and now she could see humor where before she saw fault.

  “I was marveling at the two of us enjoying our time together instead of looking for ways to end it.”

  Elizabeth laughed out loud and set down her tea cup. “That is true. Your character has changed much since last year. I like this Caroline Bingley. She has much to offer society.”

  “May I confide something to you?”

  A hint of wariness crossed Elizabeth’s features, but she straightened in her chair and said, “I’m not sure if I am someone you should share confidences with. Could not your sister—”

  “No,” she interjected. “I asked God for guidance and He sent me you. At first I was surprised, but given the path you and Darcy have taken, it makes complete sense.”

  “How is that?” Elizabeth’s brow furrowed as she listened.

  “You and Darcy had an uncommon courtship, beset by prejudices on both sides.”

  “That is true,” Elizabeth murmured.

  “Lord Nathan has been speaking to me, not always in a conciliatory manner.” She noted the quick smile Elizabeth tried to hide. “He upbraids me for my quest to marry well and we often argue the point. In fact, we argue almost all the time. He’s quite frustrating.”

  “My dear Caroline, you sound like Mr. Darcy and I. We got off on the wrong foot from the first time we met at the Assembly in Meryton. Do you recall that night?”