Grimm's Reapers: Volume 1-4

by Jack Crosby

  “Ummm, I called about twenty minutes ago.” I was dumbfounded that a Green demon was standing in front of me. There was a time and day I would’ve killed him quick and clean. Now I was just curious. “You said come to the back door for the special jobs?”

  Speedy pushed his frame out of the door. “So you’re Death huh? Don’t look like much, but I don’t give a shit if you got money.” His obese body somehow made it over to Khloros. “Your horse turns into a car? Nice.”

  He took his time inspecting Khloros. “So when we talked, I told you I was looking for some custom upgrades. Does your shop provide such things?”

  “It’ll cost ya.” He looked over Khloros, envy in his eyes. “Just what the fuck do you want to add to this beautiful car?”

  “We need to get cross country and fast. I was thinking some sort of cloaking device. If such things are possible.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was laughing or having mini heart attacks based on the noise he was producing and the way his head was bobbing around. When he stopped (and was still alive), “I’m assuming speed is the goal. Don’t want to get pulled over by the human coppers I’m guessing.”

  He seemed to have a pretty keen intellect, for a Greed demon. “As you said, speed is the goal and detection hinders that.”

  “Well I can’t make you fucking invisible if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m a demon, not a damn wizard.” The way he said that told me he had an idea though. “If you got patience and money, I’d be willing to hook you up with a prototype I’m currently developing.”

  “What’s the prototype?”

  He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. “Be glad to show you. Just no pictures or I’ll cut your fingers off.”

  The garage door to the shop opened and a dozen Imps came pouring out, all wearing grease stained button downs with Speedy’s Auto embroidered on them. Two of the Imps carried out something that looked like a base tube for an audio system and sat it on the ground between us.

  The tube was sleek gunmetal and looked pretty cool except for the fact it had wires sticking out of the unclosed end opposite me. Speedy didn’t seem to think anything of it and slapped it with his meaty hand. “This old girl is a soundwave disrupter. Tweak it with a little Hellfire and when this baby’s turned on, no electronic human gizmo can trace it.”

  “What about red lights?”

  “Pssht, child’s play.”

  I walked around the object, looking it down. “Well this could be exactly what I need except one little problem – it looks either broken or unfinished.”

  One of the Imps flew over and handed Speedy a crescent wrench. “I told ya dipshit, it’s a prototype I’m still working on. Don’t your fucking ears work?”

  I crossed my arms and frowned. “How long will it take to get this thing from scrap to helpful?”

  He stuck his fat hand out. “It depends on how much motivation you give me and the boys. Could be an hour or two or could be next year. We’re a pretty busy shop…”

  I opened my wallet. “I don’t keep a lot of cash on me.”

  Pointing over to the side alley. “Good thing I had my bank install an ATM over there. The fees are pretty reasonable too.”

  Shit, we needed this thing and we needed to get on the road ASAP. I walked over to the machine and my new friend followed me. It ate my debit card right away and fired up. After I typed in my pin, it asked me how much I wanted to withdraw. I typed in five hundred.

  “We might get it done in the next month.” Annoyed, I erased it and typed in one thousand. “Hmmm, how’s two weeks sound?”

  My celestial fire burned for a minute, ghostly chains wrapping around my arm, before my temper cooled off and they disappeared. “Just how much money do you want?”

  “Two grand for the work and another five for the equipment. So for seven thousand dollars, you’ll be leaving here tonight with a very sweet upgrade.”

  “Fucking highway robbery…” Mumbling even more profanity, I typed in the seven thousand dollars he requested. Granted, I had quite a bit more in the bank, so it wasn’t a matter of funds. It was a matter of good business practices. “You’re getting a terrible review on the internet.”

  He fat fingers wrapped around the cash and his eyes get big and shiny. “Don’t give two shits about reviews. Give my boys an hour and it’ll be installed on your horse. Any questions?”

  Yeah, can I kill you? Well I didn’t ask that out loud obviously. I muttered a few more complaints about terrible prices but Speedy didn’t care. He pointed to the waiting room and told me to have all the coffee I wanted. Problem was there was no coffee. If you’re ever in Philly and you need questionable work done, don’t go to Speedy’s.

  The waiting room had the latest sports page sitting there. I was able to pass the time nicely reading about the latest of epic failures produced by the basketball and football teams. At least the hockey team had its head screwed on right.

  “Your car’s ready for you.” I looked up and an Imp was flying at about shoulder level with my keys. “Follow me and I’ll give you a demo.”

  He dropped the keys in my hand and I followed him back out to the garage area where Khloros was sitting in mint condition. “You guys wash him too?”

  The Imp nodded. “We offer a full array of auto services here. Noticed the tire pressure was getting low too and topped it off. He’s ready for the road.”

  I opened the driver’s door and stuck my head in. “These demons didn’t do any funny business did they?”

  “As appalling as it was having Imps work on me, they seemed to be very good at their tasks.” He had no room to complain, this was his idea. “This form feels better than it has in some ages.”

  I looked down at the Imp who was still hovering around. “Okay, how does this thing work Speedy sold me?”

  He took the keys back and popped them in the ignition. He cranked the car up, leaving it in park. “Here’s what you’ll do. See this switch beside your e-brake?” There was a little red switch installed nicely in the available space. “Just flip it on and your car goes into ghost mode. Traffic lights, radar devices, the whole shebang won’t detect you.”

  I flipped the switch up and the tube kicked on. If I wouldn’t have seen it myself, I would’ve never believed it. Looking at Khloros, it was like it he was shimmering in and out of existence. “Whoa, that’s pretty kick ass!”

  “What else did you expect from the best fucking auto garage on this plane?” Speedy came out of his office, still looking at grotesque as ever. “While we were waiting, I called the boss man Belial, told him you were here.”

  “So you’re one of Belial’s brood?”

  He popped his neck. “Yeah, I work for him, used to be a blacksmith in weaponry but I like human cars better. Anyway, he says you’re starting a bit behind the eight ball and wanted me to help one more time.”

  What in the world could this fat little Greed demon possibly offer me? “And that would be?”

  He motioned to the Imp with his head. The little demon popped the trunk latch revealing the contents inside. “Holy shit.”

  “The mafia a few years back needed some bullet proof glass installed on their boss’s cars. Paid for it in arms. That’s just a small sampling of what I’ve got.”

  There were marvels to behold. Rifles, pistols, and more in there. “Is that a missile launcher?”

  A broken smile confirmed the mysterious weapon’s identity. “All have been retrofitted with celestial rounds. You run into any of the Hell witch’s brood, that shit will put the fuckers down.”

  I actually went over and shook Speedy’s hand. “There would’ve been a time when we would’ve fought to the death you know?”

  “Fuck, the rumors about your shitty puns are true.”

  “Times are changing. Don’t know if it’s for the better or not, but they are.”

  Speedy snapped his fingers and the Imps flew back into the shop. “I did my job. Now go fucking do yours.”

  I got into Khloro
s and began to pull away. Out of the rearview mirror, I saw the fat Greed demon give me a thumbs up. “Times are certainly different old friend.”

  Chapter 7 – Oh Canada, You’re not the U.S.A.!

  Canada – where speed limit signs make no sense and its freezing. When Roxanne had woken me up for my turn to drive, I can’t tell you how much I’d been looking forward to it. At least with Speedy’s hardware installed on Khloros, my inability to understand kilometers per hour and miles per hour were inconsequential (I hear you snickering – don’t make me come visit your house).

  What was super annoying was the large horned animal that ran out in front of the car. Khloros was paying attention and applied the brakes liberally, keeping us from crashing into said creature, but not without waking up my passengers. Oh the joys that would bring for me.

  Jacar didn’t care all that much, his passive-aggressive nature was really weird for a Pride demon. Roxanne, oh don’t you worry, she made up for it. Her hot blooded tirade contained more fucks than a Las Vegas whorehouse on graduation night. To soothe the savage one, I pulled into a gas station and got her one of those pre-made cappuccinos. It wasn’t five star quality, but the sugar rush put her back into a better mood.

  As we traveled across province after province heading north, we became more and more isolated. The speedometer was reading one hundred and seventy five, which was making this trip go by at lightning speed.

  Our first major hiccup happened in northern Alberta I think. It was somewhere up in the western/northern part. For someone as old as I was, you’d think I’d have a better grip of geography. Sorry my friendly Canadians, I guess I just never cared that much. Or ever planned on traveling through your lovely country, yeah that’s it. Anyways, it was later in the afternoon of our second full day when Khloros began to slow down. “What’s wrong buddy?”

  He slowed all the way down to a stop. “Do you not feel it Rider? There is something foul in these woods.”

  Closing my mind and letting the world come to me, I spotted what he was talking about. It was like a shadow, following us at a distance in which it hoped to blend in. Plus the brimstone smell of a Pride demon as strong as Jacar covers up a lot of others. It, or I should say he, wasn’t counting on Khloros being so much more attuned than the rest of us. “Balrog…”

  Roxanne looked behind us, as if the Minotaur was standing right there. “Are you sure it’s him?”

  Balrog had been my partner in crime during my days as Sabrina’s knight Ruin. I knew his aura well, even after all this time. I cursed myself for not being more careful and letting my guard down. “Oh yeah, it’s him and he knows he’s been found out. Prepare yourself, he’s coming this way.”

  The three of us got out of the car, weapons ready. Jacar was still in possession of the Grasscutter, which served him well in the last battle. I was in no spot to ask him for it back. Roxanne was packing one of Speedy’s Desert Eagle on a leg holster (Almighty was it hot when she pulled that out) loaded with the celestial rounds. She really loved firearms.

  She gave me a show, letting my eyes linger on that toned legs of her and she freed the gun from confinement. The naughty girl even slowly put her skirt back down, but not before giving me a peek of the fact she was going commando. How was she not freezing? Looking at her nipples, I saw at least something was reacting to the cold.

  My concentration was brought back to reality by the bull-man. Balrog didn’t even try to sneak up on us. The King of the Minotaurs stomped right down the two lane highway, hoof marks digging into the pavement with each lumbering step. Power (where had I felt this aura before?) oozed off of him, nothing like I remember. This wasn’t the same guy I used to pal around with, he was much more dangerous.

  He didn’t even give two shits about my companions; he only was out for me. That much was obvious by the hate he registered at my presence. “Death, it has been far too long.”

  The sneer in his voice should’ve produced a little bit of worry, but you know me. “I don’t remember you smelling this bad? Did you always roll around in shit before?”

  My verbal jab wasn’t even dignified. “I must say your spawn makes much better company than you. Though it could be for our mutual hate of you as he certainly does detest you.”

  I was careful not to take the bait and attack recklessly. “It must really suck not to make friends the old fashioned way, social media or just by saying hi to people. I guess when you’re an ugly fuckwad like yourself, kidnapping and brainwashing are the only ways it happens.”

  Steam billowed from his nose, the cold reacting to the hot demon breathe. “I could kill all three of you and not even be late for dinner, yet my orders are not to engage.” The large mace sitting on his shoulder probably weighed as much as Jacar, who was not a small demon.

  Roxanne jumped into the friendly, little conversation we were having. “You tell my bitch of a daughter that I’ve got no plans to kill her slowly. I want to relish it, by ripping her intestines out inch by inch while she’s still alive!”

  That was quite the threat, one most would’ve at least acknowledged. Balrog barely gave Roxanne a glance, which really set her off. “Learn to control your sex dolls.” Oh Almighty, why was he doing this to me? “It is most unruly how you let her speak so freely.”

  “You best shut your mouth you fucking inbred cow!” I looked over at Jacar who came over and physically restrained her. She how enough leverage though and fired off a round at Balrog. The shot was a bit high, grazing the top of his head. Like a total badass, he never even flinched.

  “As I was saying, my intentions are not to engage in combat, yet make sure you make it to the Gulag in one piece. Once there, then the real trials will begin.”

  “Where’s Jacoby?”

  The Minotaur started laughing at me, which pissed me off greatly. “He’s waiting for you at the end of this journey. Trust me; your son wants to see you more than you want to see him.”

  Nice, real nice. Knowing that this standoff was over, he stomped off into the forest, leaving the three of us shivering in the cold. What really grinded my gears was he made his point and got the last word in. No one gets the last word over me! Well, they do, but not often and I don’t like it when it happens.

  When the three of us were back to driving, “Fuck Grimm, why didn’t we kill the stupid son of a bitch? There are three of us and only one of him.”

  “Roxanne, while I’m glad your counting skills are still top notch, Balrog is no pushover.” Listen, I know I’ve killed Arch-Demons and made it look easy, but something about the Minotaur seemed really different this time. “Strange magic was wrapped all around him.”

  Jacar leaned forward. “I noticed it too. No minor demon, not even Balrog, should be covered in such power.” His eyes narrowed. “Could the Hell witch be augmenting her followers?”

  I reminisced on my time stuck in her castle. Sabrina was able to empower us, but not to this point. “Maybe, but I don’t even remember it being so powerful.”

  “Don’t under estimate my daughter. She has both my sexual energy and her father’s Arch-Demon blood in her.” Oh yeah, that prick. “Beelzebub had a great many talents, including power transference.”

  The good news always just kept on rolling. “But she’s not an Arch-demon. Where would she have gotten all that power?”

  No one could provide me any answers. As we drove and day turned to night, the three of us were at a loss for what happened earlier. Sabrina had another step on us and it was becoming painfully clear we were going right into a trap to save Conquest.

  The other thing that still bothered me was the familiarity of the strange aura surrounding Balrog. As we parked to switch drivers, a little voice spoke to me in the way back of my simple, yet effective brain. Of course, Jacoby had taunted me that he’d been to the depths and back. “Shit – I know where Sabrina amassed so much power.”

  The two demons stopped, waiting for me to drop the news.

  More flashbacks hit me. Lucifer had warned me when
he handed over the Morningstar Blade that this could happen. “With Abaddon dead, she’s able to use Tartarus as her power source.”

  Crossing her arms (which pushed out her breasts nicely too, not that this was the time), “Well fuck me with a sandpaper condom.” Roxanne was always so eloquent, no matter the dire straits we were in.

  **Oz**

  I was concentrating on the hilt I designed just as Raphael instructed. “Your fire is within you. In order to access it, you must believe that it is yours to command.”

  It wasn’t as if I couldn’t feel it, there was definitely something inside me urging me to let it go. The stygian iron chip inside the handle was calling like a conduit of power. I just needed to get the two to connect. Looking over, I could see Jesse had already learned to call his angel blade. I couldn’t fall behind.

  Raphael was looking on. “Don’t force it Oz, let it happen naturally. You are in charge of your fire, yes, but you are not a tyrant.”

  With those words fresh in my mind, I stopped trying to force it. I half-jokingly asked it to please come out and flow towards the iron. Nothing. Oh well, it was worth a shot. “I don’t think it’s happening today.”

  He looked disappointed. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, so these things take some time.”

  I too felt disappointed. In the few short days I’d been hanging with Jesse and Raphael, I’d learned so much. I was actually quite the accomplished swordsman it turned out. The only problem was I couldn’t get my celestial fire to ignite. “Maybe because of who my mom was, there’s something different?”

  He tapped his chin, deep in thought. “Obviously I do not know much in the ways of demons, and I can honestly say the only time I came across a Lust demon, it was in the midst of battle.” His eyes lit up, “Of course, in battle. Maybe if we initiate a battle, it’ll draw out the fire!”

  Before I could argue his idea, his sword came to life. “Mr. Raphael, what’re you going to do?”

  He smiled. “Do not worry Oz, I won’t hurt you. But I do need you to defend yourself.” He quickly swiped his sword in my direction. I had to tumble backwards to make sure I didn’t become an Oz kabob.