Truly, Madly, Deeply

by Jeannie Moon

She did as he asked, locking her gaze with his. There was warmth, caring, even passion in the dark depths of his eyes. It was everything Lila dreamed about, not only while waiting for him to return, but all of her life. But people woke up from dreams, and for her it was just a matter of time until she had to face the truth.

  Running her hands up and down his sides, she slid one between them and stroked his erection. He moaned part in agony, part in pleasure, so she did it again. And again.

  “You’re going to set me off, Lila.”

  “I don’t want to do that. Not yet, anyway.”

  Inching her panties down, he ran his fingers along her center; she was ready for him and for once, Lila didn’t want the playing and teasing. She just wanted him, to be filled with his heat. She wanted him moving, driving her to a climax that would rock her for days.

  “I need you, Nick. I need you in me.”

  “Let me bring you along a little…”

  “No. I want to make love. All night. Gentle and slow. Hot and dirty. However we can.”

  “Jesus, Lila. Thinking about what I could do to you…”

  “I know. But right now, I want you inside me. Please. Don’t make me beg.”

  Raising himself above her, he looked down wickedly. “Not even a little?”

  “Nick, please.”

  With a pleasured laugh, Nick rolled, and in one quick move Lila was on top of him. His erection settled nicely against her and Nick gave her the kind of look that whispered I dare you.

  Lila relished being in control. It gave her the chance to tease him unmercifully. With her knees planted, one beside each of his thighs, Lila bent forward and kissed him in the middle of his chest. Then she did it again, and again, moving down each time, following the patch of hair from his belly button to his very healthy erection.

  She stared at it, then lifted her eyes to his and deliberately licked her lips. Nick drew a breath as she licked him from his balls to the tip of his shaft.

  “Christ, Lila. What are you trying to do to me? I thought…”

  “I want to make you crazy. How am I doing?”

  She licked him again, and then slowly drew him into her mouth, inch by incredible inch.

  “Fuck,” he ground out. “You’re doing great.”

  Lila kept her eyes on his as she moved her lips; sucking, licking, and teasing him to insanity. When he got to the point of incoherence, Lila released him, slid up his body, and kissed him soundly. “Are you ready?” she asked.

  He nodded, grinning seductively. “Oh, yeah.”

  That’s when he grabbed her hips, lifted her over him, and lowered her down. At first, he went slowly, settling himself inside her, but then he surprised her with one powerful thrust that sent her desire into overdrive.

  Bracing her arms on his, Lila moved. Slowly first, she caught her rhythm, and feeling every inch of him moving inside her, Lila rode.

  This was perfection, a joining of bodies meant to be together. Matched before they ever knew each other, no one would ever affect her like he did. It was crazy and sane, a mess of contrasts, much like her feelings. They were all over the place, but everything came together when she and Nick forgot about who they were supposed to be. The walls came down and the uncertainty dissolved, if only for a moment. And Lila was happy.

  Light exploded behind her eyes, sparks of fire and dreams of a future she and Nick would never have. They drove each other higher and higher. Nick held her tight as he pulled himself up to face her. He kissed her hot and deep, dipping his tongue in her mouth, edging her toward unreason.

  “You’re amazing,” he ground out. “I thought about you every day I was gone.”

  “I thought about you too. Missed you.”

  He was so tall that even with her on his lap, they were face to face, and their eyes never left each other as the sensations built. He kissed her, again and again, until their frenetic pace slowed, becoming a glorious, intense torture.

  The tiny shock waves started to hit her, growing with each thrust. Finally, the wave crashed through her, her body tensing as every nerve ending fired at the same time. Lila arched, and Nick held her safely against him as he climaxed too, pressing his face into her shoulder, calling out her name in the way only a lover does.

  Lila wanted to tell him how she felt about him. That she loved him. But that would just add more twists to an already complicated situation. She didn’t want him to feel any more pressure to be the knight in shining armor.

  “Lila, please don’t leave, not yet.” His words gripped her heart—hard.

  “I have to leave,” she whispered into his hair. “But we have all night.”

  With amazing ease, Nick brought her with him as he lay on the bed, tucking her body securely into his. “We should have every night.”

  When Nick woke, the first thing he did was check the clock. Zero-three-hundred. On the dot.

  That’s the time his captors would wake him for his nightly questioning and beating. And no matter where he was, if he wasn’t being kept in a coma, he woke like clockwork. But tonight was different.

  Tonight he woke without the nightmare. For the first time since his captivity, Nick didn’t wake up reliving one beating or another. Running his hand slowly over the curves of Lila’s body, he wondered if she had anything to do with that. Dropping a kiss on her shoulder, he rolled away from her.

  His mouth felt like he’d eaten a bowl of sand, so he headed for the kitchen and poured himself some water from the pitcher in the fridge. Leaning against the countertop, the cold granite on the small of his back felt good, easing the soreness in his spine. What the hell was he going to do about Lila? She was set on leaving, and if he didn’t think it was about getting away from him, he’d be fine with her jetting off to the palace to see his sister. But she was running, and for a woman who had declared that wasn’t her style she’d broken into a damn sprint. Why? That was the question. Why?

  But it was about getting away from him, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to make her believe that he wanted to marry her. He couldn’t explain the latest push back, only that it burned.

  Turning, he found his phone where he left it on the counter the night before and keyed in a text to Tony. Are you really sending the plane for her?

  It’s leaving in an hour, came the reply. Problem?

  Big problem. I need time with her to convince her marrying me is the right thing to do.

  Is it?

  What kind of question was that? Fuck, yes.

  Why?

  What are you, my shrink? She’s pregnant with my baby. She’s getting all kinds of shit at work. If we get married, she doesn’t have to deal with any crap.

  I can’t live without her. He deleted that line before he sent the message.

  You are without sense. She won’t marry you unless she believes you love her. Too proud. Your sister was the same way.

  Well that’s bullshit. Nick was totally out of his element with the emotional stuff. Tell him to blow up a building, he was good to go. Infiltrate behind enemy lines and blend in? He was your guy. Emotions? He was a fucking lightweight.

  The answer was slow to come back, but finally, it did. Did you tell her you love her?

  No, he responded.

  DO you love her?

  Nick had no idea. He just knew the thought of her leaving left him feeling like he’d failed both of them. That he didn’t do enough. She deserved his best. She deserved everything.

  His phone pinged.

  Stop thinking so much.

  What’s that supposed to mean?

  It means Lila isn’t a mission you approach with a strategy. You have to prove she matters to you. That’s something you can’t plan.

  Prove himself. Josie had pretty much said the same thing. He’d thought he was doing that by offering marriage. By committing his life to her and their child. If that wasn’t enough, if it didn’t show he cared, he didn’t know what else to do. Putting his phone down, Nick ran his hand along the back of his neck. God, wome
n were so complicated. But this one was as important to him as breathing, so he had to figure her out.

  “Nick?” Lila’s voice wrapped around him. Turning, he saw her standing in the doorway, looking more concerned than he deserved. She’d pulled on one of his T-shirts, which hung on her, covering her to mid-thigh. Still, she was a thing of beauty.

  “Hey. Why are you up?” he asked.

  “I should ask you the same question? Are you okay? Do you always get up at three in the morning?”

  “Not always.”

  “But often?”

  Damn. She’d noticed. Nick felt a crack in his heart, and Lila worked her way inside. “Let’s go back to bed.”

  He noticed as he got closer, she was staring at him, concerned, kind—her blue eyes sparkled in the faint light coming from outside. His erection was straining his briefs. Again. He just couldn’t get enough of her. “You make me as horny as a seventeen-year-old boy.”

  “This is my fault?” she teased.

  “It’s completely your fault.” Pulling her in, Nick tucked her head under his chin, and held tight. Her soft, silky hair smelled of tropical flowers and rain.

  “What’s going on?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist, melting into him. She fit him like no one ever had.

  “I know, but I need to go. It will give me time to think.”

  “I’ll miss you. So much.”

  “Nick…” His name came out on a whoosh of breath as he scooped her up and carried her to bed.

  “It’s the truth.” Pulling the T-shirt over her head when he set her down, he nuzzled her neck, leaving a kiss at the curve of her shoulder. “Let me show you.”

  Lacing her hands with his, Lila nodded and Nick slipped inside her. She moaned her pleasure as he moved with long, purposeful strokes. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you, too. I love you so much. But I need to be sure about us.”

  Her words, so soft and sweet, ripped at him. “Don’t leave, Lila. Stay with me.”

  Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and she tilted her pelvis so he could go deeper. He did what she wanted, bringing both of them right to the edge. Her quick breaths were audible as the pace quickened, and Nick had to keep himself from possibly hurting her. This was the fourth time they’d made love since yesterday afternoon, she had to be sore. But Lila’s body welcomed him easily.

  His woman. The one he’d been made for.

  Her back arched suddenly as her body clenched around his dick, squeezing and triggering his own release. He poured into her, marveling how they were in complete sync.

  “I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “Please believe me.”

  Lila drew a breath, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. “I want to.”

  Examining Lila’s face, Nick saw he wasn’t going to change her mind. Something was holding her back. She was getting on a jet in a few hours and nothing he could say would change it. But he’d ask, one more time.

  “Please stay. Let’s work on this.”

  Shaking her head, she wasn’t budging.

  “You won’t give me a chance?”

  “Please understand…”

  “Shit.”

  He didn’t hear the rest of what she said because he wasn’t there for it. He pulled on his shorts and walked out the glass doors to the pitch black beach. Nick needed time to think, too.

  * * *

  Ten hours later, Lila squeezed Nick’s hand as she left the private plane terminal at the small airport in Naples where the royal jet was waiting for her.

  “I’ll be there in two weeks,” he said. “Please don’t do anything dumb like marry a duke or something.”

  “I’ll do my best. I’m sure everything will make more sense with some time apart.”

  “I don’t know how. We need to work this out together, not apart.”

  “Nick, my whole life is changing faster than I can keep up. I need time. You need time, too. Those nightmares aren’t going to go away just because you put a ring on my finger.”

  The way his lips had narrowed told her she’d struck a nerve. He didn’t respond, but kissed her sweetly at the bottom of the jet’s stairs. “Safe flight.”

  “I’ll let you know when I land.”

  Once she ascended the steps and found a seat, it was only moments before they taxied toward the runway. Looking out the window, she saw Nick’s form getting smaller and smaller.

  When she couldn’t see him anymore, Lila allowed herself to cry.

  Chapter Ten

  Lila got a little bit of sleep on the plane, but thoughts of Nick kept her from any kind of relief. She dreamed of him the same way she did when he was gone all those months. Their last night together had been glorious, full of passion and heat, but both of them had doubts that their relationship—such as it was—could survive the long term. Lila knew it at least; Nick was still trying to convince her to give it a chance. She suspected he didn’t like to lose.

  God, she was confused. He was right that many of the ingredients needed for a good marriage were already part of them. They genuinely liked each other, the sex was amazing, and they were both smart, strong people. But Lila wanted a marriage based on love, and she couldn’t ignore the fact that Nick never would have proposed if she hadn’t been pregnant. It wasn’t practical, or logical, but when thinking about the rest of her life, Lila led with her heart.

  The flight attendant told her they would be landing at a small airfield not too far from the palace and Josie would be there to meet her. It was dark in Marinbourg, around midnight local time based on her best guess. She wished she could see the country as they flew in, but the lights from the city of Sterren were an awesome show. It was as beautiful as she’d been told.

  She had to say, the whole flight had been an experience. From the individual attention of the flight attendant, to the luxurious seats, to the gourmet meal, Lila was amazed at the life her best friend was going to lead.

  But of all the people she knew, it was Josie who would stay grounded. Lila could think of no one who deserved happiness more than the woman who was going to be the queen. That it all happened after she thought she’d lost Tony forever made it even better.

  The plane taxied to a stop and she looked out the small window. There were men with earpieces and armed guards standing next to a shiny dark car, but among all the security was a beautiful, dark haired woman with a wide smile that calmed Lila’s nerves. Josie.

  That was why she’d dropped everything and flown thousands of miles. Josie was more sister than friend, and Lila definitely needed her sister. She’d kept so many secrets. It was time to clear the air.

  Taking a deep breath, she checked herself in a small mirror she carried in her bag. Yeah, she looked tired. Drained. But Josie would understand. As soon as Lila stepped on the tarmac, Josie broke toward her. They split the distance, meeting in the middle with a fierce hug.

  “I am so glad you’re here,” Josie said. “And with my future nephew, I hear.”

  Lila leaned back and touched her belly. “It’s a boy. I expect he’ll be just like Nick.”

  Josie hugged her close. “We can hope. He might be a Neanderthal sometimes, but he’s a good man.”

  Nodding, Lila fought back the tears. “I know. I do know that.”

  Linking an arm with hers, Josie walked Lila to the car. “We’ll get you settled at the palace, and depending on what you want to do, we’ll watch movies, or gossip, or eat pints of ice cream.”

  “That sounds really good.” It did. Just being able to relax felt good. “I vote for all three.”

  Josie laughed as she settled into the back seat of the car, next to Lila.

  “So,” Lila began. “Will you have a crown?”

  Josie giggled. “A big one. The coronation takes place after the ceremony. I’m not sure about the whole queen thing, but I do love the people here. They’re kind and generous,
and I appreciate the way they’ve accepted me.”

  “How could they not?” Lila pulled her friend in. “You’re going to be great. Everyone will love you if they don’t already.”

  “I just don’t want to let Anton down. Now that he’s King, it’s so strange. He’s still the man I fell in love with, but he’s larger than life so much of the time. He depends on me more to keep things normal, I guess.” Josie gazed out the window as they traveled through the streets of Sterren, the capital of Marinbourg. “I just want him to be happy.”

  Lila remembered Josie reliving the anguish she felt when Anton came back to her after three years. She’d been terrified at the rush of emotions, much like Lila felt for Nick. Knowing someone had the power to break her was terrifying, but Nick had that power. That’s why she had to get away. His intentions were good. Of that she had no doubt. But the arrangement he proposed wasn’t enough for a lifetime. And Lila didn’t think she could handle losing him when he decided it was time for them to part ways.

  It sounded cold when she thought about it that way. And Nick wasn’t a cruel man. He’d never do anything to hurt her, but feelings were funny things. There was no way to know who he would meet in the future, how his career would play out. All Lila knew was that if they were going to stand a chance, there had to be more between them than the child they would raise. Life was too hard, and she firmly believed a marriage could only work if two hearts were bound to each other. The love between them needed depth, not practicality.

  That’s what she saw when she watched Tony and Josie—the king and his future queen. He loved her fiercely, and she loved him unconditionally. Their lives were about doing for the other. There was no question about devotion or willingness to sacrifice, each would do it in a heartbeat. Josie was the one who gave up her life to be with the man she loved, and Lila could see her friend didn’t regret it for one second.

  Because Anton was ready to do the same for her.

  The reason Lila hesitated when Nick asked her to leave Mimosa Key was because his reasons for wanting to marry her were centered on the baby. On saving her.

  If she ever left Mimosa, it would be because she was running to something, not away from it.