by Donna Alward
“Sure.”
She led him along the tables, pointing out a gift basket from the local salon, a weekend stay at a hotel in Great Falls, handmade silver jewelry from Joey Cartright, a silversmith right here in town. Being a ranching community, there were gift certificates from the feed store, a pair of custom boots from Lamont Leather and Western Wear, and the biggest item of all, Junior’s saddle. He reached out and touched the intricate detail on the leather and once again felt humbled and unworthy.
“This is too much,” he said, looking down at the current bid. It stood at fifteen hundred dollars.
“Why?” Lacey tilted her head and looked at him curiously. “Quinn, you’re a big part of this community. Do you know how special that is? It’s amazing how people help each other here. You’ve had such a rough time the last few years, but you’re lucky, too. You belong here. This is your place and your people and they want to help you because they love you.”
Did that include her? Because she was here and she was helping. The thought twisted something inside him. He was so attracted to her. Liked her. And yet every time she did something nice, something special, he got angry. He had to keep telling himself to stop comparing her to Marie. That no one could take Marie’s place.
And then he got angry with himself for liking her so much and knowing that he shouldn’t. Wasn’t it disloyal?
“Sometimes it’s just hard to accept help.”
She laughed. “You’re preaching to the choir. Do you think I was in a big hurry to come back to the ranch when I lost my job? I had to swallow a lot of pride, you know.”
Another reminder that the ranch was something she’d never wanted. If he could only remember that, perhaps he could forget about the rest. Like how tiny she looked in that dress, with the slim belt fastened at her waist. Or the way her lips were soft when they were pressed against his... God, he was getting so sick of fighting it. Wished there were fewer consequences to consider and that he could be free to just do what he wanted without having to worry about his decisions and how they’d affect everyone else. His daughter. Duke. Lacey.
Himself.
“These days,” she continued on, as if oblivious to his turbulent thoughts, “I think being at Crooked Valley was meant to be. I like it more than I expected to.”
“I told you.” He smiled back at her politely, knowing he should feel glad she’d embraced life at the ranch. If Lacey took on her third of the ranch, they were that much closer to keeping it in the family and providing everyone with some security. Including him, and his job. Wasn’t that what they’d all hoped for?
But then the flip side of that was knowing that if she did stay on, she’d be a part of his life. Perhaps on the periphery, but there, nonetheless. He’d have to get control of his feelings if that were to happen.
This wasn’t even supposed to be an issue.
“I’m going to go mingle,” he said, leaning forward just a little as another song started up and the noise increased. “I’ll see you around.”
Was that disappointment in her eyes? He rather thought it might be. But she simply gave him a little wave and turned her back on him, going to straighten one of the displays and talk to some of the ranch women who’d dragged their husbands out. He heard Lacey’s bright voice ringing out over the clutter of music and conversation. “Ladies,” she sang out, “you’ll want to get your husbands to bid on this! Nothing says Valentine’s Day like new jewelry!”
Chapter Ten
Another hour had passed and Lacey was getting tired. She looked around the room, searching for Quinn. He was holding up a corner with a couple of ranch hands from a nearby spread, watching couples spinning on the floor. About a half dozen girls sent inviting looks their way, and Lacey felt a spurt of jealousy. But while Quinn urged his companions to take advantage with nods and elbows, he didn’t seem interested.
Kailey was taking a turn on the floor with one of her old beaux, Colt Black, laughing at something he said. Even though Lacey had dressed up and made a real effort tonight, she’d never felt so old and out of place. She was not even thirty, for Pete’s sake. But while time hadn’t made her old, life had. If not old, weary. Too weary to get very excited for the bar scene.
Now Quinn was standing alone, holding up the wall, and she made her way to his side. “Penny for your thoughts,” Lacey said by his ear.
He looked over at her, his eyes shadowed. “You really want to know?”
She shrugged. “Try me.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “I feel old.”
She was so relieved, she started laughing. “Me, too!”
He rolled his eyes. “You? Come on.”
“I dunno,” she said, letting her eyes rove over the crowded dance floor. “The bar scene just isn’t for me. I think I just lost the ability to be...carefree.”
“You’re young. Beautiful. With a lot ahead of you. You definitely shouldn’t feel old.”
Did he even realize what he’d just said? He’d called her young and beautiful, things she hadn’t felt for a long, long time. But she wasn’t about to ask him if he meant it, and open that whole can of worms. She just let the compliment sink in, let herself enjoy it for what it was.
“It’s not like you’re in your dotage, Quinn.” She nudged his arm with her elbow. “How old are you? Thirty-five?”
“Thirty-four in June,” he responded. She noticed he’d switched out his beer for a soda just as she had. She wasn’t sure if they were both boring or simply cautious. Sometimes she longed to just cut loose, like she might have back in the old days. Oh, nothing too crazy, but without this looming sense of responsibility she always seemed to feel.
It was something that had absolutely nothing to do with age.
“You and I are old souls, Quinn. It’s experience that’s made us old, not years. And I think we’ve both had enough heartache for a lifetime.”
He looked over at her. “You’re comparing your divorce to Marie’s death?”
Touchy subject, and she wasn’t trying to downplay his pain, but that didn’t lessen what she’d gone through. “No, of course not. Losing your wife was devastating, I’m sure. But I want you to think about something. Didn’t you love each other until the end? At least you can say that. From everything I’ve heard, you had a beautiful relationship, one you can look back on without regrets. Me? Not so much. It’s really hard to know that the person you promised to love forever—who promised to love you—chose to walk away. It’s not easy to be rejected that way.”
Quinn looked at her then. Really looked at her, with understanding eyes. “You loved him a lot.”
“I did. I thought it would last forever. And then it didn’t.”
“But you get a do-over.”
“And so do you. I think we both know that do-overs aren’t as easy as they sound. You don’t know everything about me, Quinn. Just as I’m sure I don’t know everything about you. But I think we at least have that in common. Wounds can be slow to heal.”
“Yes, they can,” he agreed. What she didn’t know was how much she was helping him heal his.
They were gazing into each other’s eyes when Kailey bounced up. “Hey y’all, look who I found!”
Lacey turned her head and let out a happy squeal. “Rylan! Oh, my gosh, what are you doing here?”
Her younger brother grinned at her, picked her up and twirled her around. “Duke called me. When that didn’t work, he sicced Carrie on me. I’m headed to North Dakota tomorrow, but I thought I could squeeze in a quick visit.” He put her down and held his hand out to Quinn. “Sorry to hear about your place, Quinn.”
Quinn shook his hand. “Thanks, Rylan.”
“You should check out the auction items, Ry.”
“I already did. That is a sweet saddle up for bid. Whoever made that has some serious talent.”
“Junior Ellerbee,” Lacey replied. “Well, then you should catch a few dances with a few pretty girls.” Lacey gave him a nudge. “Don’t be like Quinn here and hold up the wall all night.”
He looked over at Kailey, who’d gone to the bar in search of another drink. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“It’s just a dance. Quinn, you want a refill? I think I’ll join Kailey.”
“I’m good,” he replied.
Lacey grabbed another soda for herself and a beer for Quinn anyway, because he looked like he could still use some loosening up. And she grabbed Kailey, too, and brought her back to the group. Despite what Rylan said, he’d noticed Kailey for sure. It wouldn’t hurt for him to give her a turn on the floor. The vibe between the two men was a bit tense, though, so Lacey pasted on her brightest smile and beckoned for Duke and Carrie to join them. In moments, the six of them were chatting away until Cy Williamson, the saloon owner, got up to speak when the band took a break.
“Hey, everyone,” he began. “Thanks for coming tonight and helping out a neighbor...Gibson’s own Quinn Solomon and that gorgeous little girl of his. As you all know, Quinn’s house suffered serious damage in a fire a few weeks ago. Tonight’s proceeds will go right to Quinn to help him fix up his home and get life back to normal.”
Cheers and claps echoed through the bar.
“And now, here are Carrie and Lacey to say a few words.”
Lacey followed Carrie to the stage, and waited while Carrie said a few words about Quinn and thanked everyone for their generous donations. Kailey scooted up to hand Lacey a sheaf of papers—the bids from the silent auction. When it was her turn, she stepped up onto the low platform and took the microphone that Carrie handed her.
She scanned the sea of faces looking up at her and realized that this truly did feel like home. Like she belonged here, not just as Duke’s little sister but as a part of the community. She owed a lot of that to Carrie and Kailey, who’d included her in the planning for tonight. But there was more, too. She’d made connections in town, either by running errands or shopping with Amber or looking for work. She’d had her co-workers at her last job, and her elderly neighbor, but none of them had contacted her in the weeks since she’d left Helena. The last time she’d been to the diner, however, at least three people had made a point to stop and chat and ask how things were at the ranch and with Quinn.
She really didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be a part of this—permanently. It was a complete surprise, but there it was.
“Hi, everyone,” she began hesitantly, her voice echoing through the mic. “I’m Lacey Duggan, Joe’s granddaughter. I’ve got the results of the bidding right here in my hand, and some of you are going home with some wonderful items tonight. If I call your name, come to the stage at the end of the list to pay your money and pick up your prize.”
She began with the gift certificates for stores around town, then moved on to the bigger items. Duke got high bid for the custom boots, while Dan Ketchum paid a ridiculous amount for the silver necklace and earrings, earning him a smacking kiss from his wife as everyone laughed.
“Now, for the saddle. I don’t have to tell you all that this is a gorgeous item worth a lot of coin. Sincere thanks to Junior for donating it tonight. Junior, I can say with complete confidence that your saddle is going to be in very good hands. The high bid, which brought a whopping three thousand three hundred dollars, goes to Rylan Duggan.”
Cheers went up and Duke gave Rylan a slap on the back. Quinn looked stunned. Lacey didn’t even know Rylan had that kind of money, but he knew the rules. If the winner couldn’t pay up, the item went to the next best bid. Lacey withdrew to the side of the stage and the chatter built up again through the room while canned country music played until the band returned.
She collected cash and checks and crossed items off the master list until finally Rylan was the last one there. He pulled out a roll of bills and started counting off in hundreds while Lacey gaped.
“Rylan. Where did you get that kind of money?”
He looked at her blandly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You shouldn’t be carrying around that much cash.” She frowned at him, took what he owed, and saw he still had a decent-sized roll of bills.
He looked utterly unconcerned. “I didn’t have time to go to the bank earlier today, that’s all.”
She pursed her lips together. She hardly ever saw her younger brother, and their relationship was tenuous at best. The last thing she wanted to do was antagonize him tonight, though alarm bells were going off in her head.
But she couldn’t resist saying, “You’re not into anything you shouldn’t be, are you?”
Familiar blue eyes looked down into hers and his lips tipped up on one side. “Don’t worry about it, sis. Nothing the IRS wouldn’t approve of.”
Why didn’t that make her feel any better?
“Can I take the saddle at the end of the night?”
“Of course.”
He went to turn away but she stopped him. “Rylan?”
He looked back.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
He frowned and came back. “What do you mean? Are you staying on at Crooked Valley, too? Man, I can’t believe Duke convinced you. You were pretty adamant at Christmas.”
“I’m still working it out. And I won’t be staying on the ranch, just in the area. I’ve offered to take over doing the bookkeeping at Crooked Valley. I’ve already got a few clients in town, too. Kailey’s family, for one. They’re bucking stock contractors, you know.”
Something flashed in Rylan’s eyes but it was gone as quickly as it had come.
“I’m making a run for the NFR championship this year, Lace. Don’t count on me being around much. I think I’ve got a real shot.”
So he wouldn’t be looking at taking on his third. Not before the first anniversary of Granddad Joe’s death, anyway. She was surprised how disappointed she felt.
“Visit when you can, then,” she suggested.
Kailey’s laugh drifted over the noise of the crowd. “I’ll try,” he said, his gaze searching out the source of the laugh. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, sis.”
When he was gone she rested her weight on one hip and frowned. Something was going on with her brother. She just wished she knew what it was. But then, Rylan had always been the hardest of them to pin down.
By the time she’d double-counted the money and stored it in Cy’s safe, the party was back to full swing. Duke and Carrie were dancing, and so were Kailey and Rylan while Colt Black scowled at them from the sidelines. From everything Carrie said, this was a good thing. Her sister-in-law didn’t seem to think very much of Colt and his on-again-off-again attention to Kailey.
Even Quinn had been dancing, with one of the waitresses that Lacey remembered from the diner. When the song changed, his popularity increased as he was snagged by Chrissy Baumgartner who worked at the library. Lacey liked her; the librarian was in her thirties, full-figured and with a smile that lit up a room. Quinn spun her around and they were both laughing and Lacey found herself grinning as she watched. It was good to see him smiling and not scowling. He was so handsome when he relaxed and had a good time.
She wished she didn’t care so much.
The music thumped through the bar and Lacey leaned against a post, resting her head against the wood and enjoying the sight of so much merriment. Truth was, she cared for Quinn. She understood his pain, too. It only served to make her care more, but it was exactly the reason why nothing could happen between them again. She already knew what it felt like to be found lacking. There was no way on earth she could possibly live up to Marie’s memory. It was plain to see that Quinn had practically made her into a saint in his mind.
When the song ended, she took him another beer. “Here,” she offe
red, holding it out. “My treat.”
He frowned. “I can’t, Lace. Thanks though. I brought Kailey in the truck.”
“I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about giving her a lift home,” Lacey argued, nodding towards where Kailey and Rylan were talking. They only had eyes for each other.
“Is that wise?”
Lacey thought for a moment. She and Rylan weren’t as close as they used to be for sure, and his money situation had definitely taken her by surprise. But she’d never known him to mistreat a woman. “They’re both grown-ups. Kailey’s smart and Rylan’s a gentleman.”
He nodded, but didn’t look satisfied.
“Anyway, I can always drive your truck home if you want to have a few beers. It’s no biggie if you want to cut loose a bit. When did you really get out and have fun last, Quinn?”
He shrugged. “Probably the same time you did.”
He had her there. But he took the bottle from her anyway. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. I don’t mind being your wingman tonight.”
“Thank you, Lacey.”
“You’re welcome.”
“No,” he contradicted, taking her hand and pulling her to the side, where it was marginally quieter. “I mean it. Thank you for everything. For your help doing this tonight, for your help with Amber, for all of it. I haven’t always been fair to you. It’s...complicated.”
Her heart softened. “I know it is.”
“I don’t know how to do this.” He looked over the crowd, took a long pull off the bottle, then looked at her again. “Do you know what I’m saying?”
Her heart started to beat a little faster. “I think I do.”
“You see, I let myself get close, and then I get scared and then I push you away and I’m mean about it. It’s not your fault.” His gorgeous eyes delved into hers. “I’ve held onto my grief for so long, it’s like an old friend. I don’t know what to do without it, you know?”
Oh, mercy. Her pulse was fairly hammering now. Maybe it was the alcohol or the fact that the crowd and noise provided a measure of protection, but he was being all honest again.
