The Bluestocking and the Dastardly, Intolerable Scoundrel

by Jenni James

  He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. Not even twenty minutes in the lady’s home, and he was already feeling a dashed mite more stupid than he had that morning.

  As he was contemplating this particular notion of foolishness, Compton heard strange whimpering noises not far from where he was sitting. In the space of a minute, he came to himself enough to realize they were cries of distress. Crouching down on a section of dirt, no doubt ruining his buff pantaloons, he lifted up a branch and found a whole litter of newly born puppies. The little tykes, with their eyes still closed, could not have been more than a week old. But where was their mama? Surely she would have growled her warning at him as soon as he attempted to sit down so near the little family.

  Glancing around, he could not make out hide nor hair of where she could be. He debated Johnson’s shock if he arrived home with the infant litter. No doubt he would attempt to have my guts for garters for ruining my nice new coat. But it simply could not be helped. He could not abandon the destitute pups. After a few more frantic moments of searching, he found their mama too, concealed below the opposite side of the same bush far beneath the thick fronds. She was clearly emaciated and unwell. Her breathing was labored, and she could not move her head much to look at him. Those puppies of hers must have taken the last bit of life she had from her. Poor dears.

  “Well, you’d best come home with me, then, though I am certain to hear about this for a long while.”

  Compton took off his new coat and gently gathered up the fragile dog in his arms, and then fished around until he found each of the five multi-colored puppies under the shrubbery, plopping them upon their mama. Then he wrapped the lot snugly up and carried it back the two hundred yards or so to Lady Lamb’s house to fetch his curricle.

  There was not a stable boy to be seen, so he made his way up the steps and rapped with the brass door knocker.

  When the butler opened the door, the man was clearly flummoxed to find Lord Compton in just his shirtsleeves, his arms laden, but Compton could not worry overly much about that. “I left my curricle in the yard. Could you be so kind as to have it brought round?” he said as his bundle began to whimper and move precariously under the wool of his coat.

  “Best step inside. Lady Lamb will be anxious to see you.”

  “Not to be contrary, but perhaps not in my present attire. I do not wish to astonish the lady.” Compton grinned and then dipped quickly to catch an escaping scoundrel before he tumbled out.

  The butler’s eyebrows rose. “Indeed, Lady Lamb is rarely astounded by anything. Whatever you have in there will most likely fall to its death if you do not come in and set it down. Come.” He opened the door wide, and Compton followed him back into the drawing room where he had been not thirty minutes before.

  “Are you certain you want me here in all my dirt?”

  “Lady Lamb would have my head if I sent you anywhere else. The drawing room will do.”

  As soon as the man left, Compton knelt upon the floral rug and began to unwrap his parcel with the hopes of righting the lot of them.

  “What is this?” asked Lady Lamb as she came into the drawing room dressed in a much plainer brown gown than what she had worn earlier.

  “Confounded puppies. Forgive my attire.” Compton would have stood to receive her, but just then, one of the little monsters scooted off his mother and rolled to his coat and then toppled onto the rug.

  “Oh, my!” the lady giggled.

  “Now, now, you remain where I put you,” he said as he scooped the rascal up. “All of you must assist in keeping your mama warm. She is not well, and you are blind as bats and cannot even see what you are about.”

  “Goodness,” Lady Lamb gasped as she knelt on the floor next to him. “She is starving. Why did you not say something immediately?” She turned toward the door. “Pantersby, see that a cloth and warm saucer of milk is brought here directly.”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  “However did you find them?” she asked him as she began to help collect the wiggly pups.

  He ruefully grinned. “I left my curricle here and did as you proposed—I walked into Hyde Park and explored the area, and came across the imps whimpering incessantly.”

  “What a find. You truly did go exploring.” She ran her hand over the mother and whispered sadly, “I fear she will not make it.”

  “Aye. I fear it too, which is why I must bring the lot of them home with me immediately, only stopping here to fetch the curricle.” He glanced over at her. “And then I promise that I and my sad state of dress shall leave.”

  “Do they have to go? I would love them.” Lady Lamb put her hand to her mouth. “Pardon me. I am being entirely too impulsive by half. I do not know what I would do with a full litter and their failing mama. Besides, you have found them first—they are yours to claim, and forgive my hastiness. I did not think before I spoke.”

  Pantersby approached with the milk.

  “Thank you.” She gave him a grateful smile and then surprised Compton when she asked her butler to stay and see if he could be of any assistance.

  The older man flipped his coattails and then joined them upon her rug as if he had done so a thousand times. “This dog is in very dire straits indeed. She would not have lasted another night. It was good of you to rescue her.” The man looked straight at Compton and gave a short, proud nod.

  Compton, who had never had such a familiar moment with any of his staff, found it oddly comforting. “Thank you. I am very worried for her.”

  Lady Lamb lifted the mama’s head gently and slid the saucer under her nose. Eagerly, the dog lapped, but then just as suddenly stopped. Her breathing became more pronounced. “What should we do?” All thoughts of their previous disagreements flew from his head as he beheld the charming picture of the lovely Lady Ice holding the small canine and her butler attempting to wrangle the whining pups.

  “These little ones are thirsty too. We will get Cook and her girls to see if they can help feed them,” Pantersby observed as he petted them. He glanced over at their mama, who was even then endeavoring to lap up more milk. “Ah, there she goes. Good girl! If she continues to rally, as it looks like she will, she will come out of it and these scamps will grow to be great big naughty balls of fluff in no time.”

  “Do you think so?” Compton asked with a bit more hope than he dared to imagine.

  “Yes, right as rain they will all be in the next couple of days. Mark my words—I have helped many a pup in my time. See how the mama continues to drink? It is good. She will get her strength back shortly, and then we will know trouble.”

  Compton picked up one of the babes and nestled it near his shoulder. “How so?”

  “Why, the whole place will be overrun with adventurous mites attempting to tumble the house down.”

  “Oh, how fun that would be!” Lady Ice laughed, a genuinely enchanting laugh—one that made her blue eyes sparkle as she continued to hold the mama’s head.

  Then a very bizarre thing happened. Lord Compton’s heart gave a teensy jump of warmth as the rascal in his arms began to nuzzle against his neck, and he found himself laughing with her.

  CHAPTER SIX:

  Lady Lamb observed the pompous Lord Compton and continued to giggle as he attempted to appear up to snuff in his shirtsleeves and puppy kisses, kneeling upon her floor. She had never thought he could look so completely human.

  “Come on you, take a little more. You have almost got it,” she coaxed the malnourished pooch who had nearly drunk the whole plate of milk. The mama’s poor fur was matted and awfully muddy. In fact, Lacey was not certain what color the canine actually was. The little puppies were an assortment of browns, black, and white. Therefore, there was no telling what her coloring was. The poor dear thing must have been lying in the mire waiting for a passerby to find her for some time.

  Lacey’s gaze wandered back to Lord Compton and marveled for a moment at the heart of a man who would go out of his way to rescue such a rambunctious load. He may b
e a ne’er-do-well, but he undeniably had a heart under all those perverse inclinations. A heart that mayhap allow her to keep the sweethearts in her home? He had not answered her about the pups, and had not thought to discourage Pantersby when he offered to help. Taking courage, she attempted again. “What will you do with them? Have you decided?”

  Grinning, Lord Compton looked up from the puppy’s affection and shook his head. “I cannot imagine what my valet will say to this, nor my butler, for that matter. They will undoubtedly have my head.”

  “They are so darling. Once they are nourished properly, I believe Mama here will take care of the lot of them, and you will have no trouble at all.”

  “Would you be so kind as to take them in?” Lord Compton asked. “I know we have our differences. However, Pantersby mentioned that your cook and girls might help.”

  “Oh, we would be delighted to! Yet I do not desire to take something so grand as this from you.” Surely he must want them for himself.

  He grimaced with a slight air of indifference. “I fear I am ill equipped to take care of them all, though if you are against it, my staff will get on reasonably well.”

  Her eyes met his dark ones, and she could see a spark of something lurking deep within. “Why, you are telling a whopper!”

  “And what would make you imply that?”

  “I do not know the reason you are doing such a thing, but you wish to keep these sweetlings as much as we do, and yet you are willing to give them up. Why?”

  Lord Compton grinned handsomely at her and shrugged one shoulder. “Can I not propose a bit of a peace offering for the manner in which I left so suddenly earlier?”

  Lacey could feel her face paling as she recalled the flippant statements she had made. Certainly she had been cross with him and thought to discompose him a bit. However, her intention was never to truly wound the fellow.

  Pantersby shifted and cleared his throat. “I shall run and get some more milk, and let Cook and her girls know we have visitors. They will be so pleased.” Then he turned to Compton. “That is, if you are certain we are to keep them, my lord?”

  Compton nodded. “No, it makes much more sense to leave them here than to attempt to bring them all home. The less they are shaken about, the better, I think.”

  Once her butler left, Lacey brought the subject back around, feeling the need to beg forgiveness. “Please do not speak of that now. I am overly ashamed at my reply to you.”

  Compton gave a short, forced laugh. “What did you say that I did not need to hear?”

  “My lord, I . . . pardon me.”

  “No. You were correct. I am worth nothing, and after all these years, I have become even further from myself than I would have ever imagined.”

  Lacey’s chest tightened at his response, and she looked down at the puppies, not sure how to reply. They had begun to tire out. Three of them had discovered a spot to nestle next to their mother and were slumbering peacefully, their little bellies moving up and down.

  “Very well, rascal. I fear it is time for you to join your family as well,” Lord Compton said as he added his sleeping mite to the pile. The puppies whimpered in protest for a moment as their brother joined them, and then one by one, quieted down and nuzzled back adorably into each other.

  She watched them a minute or two, her heart marveling at the joy of such a sight, and then whispered, “They appear so peaceful. I truly believe nothing cheers the soul more than being near baby animals.”

  She caught Lord Compton’s eye before he took a deep breath and said, “The whole lot is a filthy muddle. I fear your carpet may never be the same if we do not transfer them somewhere else.”

  “Your coat is already most likely ruined.”

  “Yes, I know. Johnson will certainly ring a peal over my head for it too. He is always too stuffy when it comes to my clothing.”

  She grinned. “I cannot imagine anyone having words with you and endeavoring to put you in your place.”

  His eyes met hers with a mischievous gleam. “Unless it is you, of course.”

  “I do not count. I doubt there will ever be a time when I am not willing to give you a piece of my mind.”

  “True! And what would be the fun in that if you did not?”

  She glanced away. He was attempting to be kind, and though sweetly meant, it was not needed. “I am certain you will have reservations about crossing my appalling path in the future.”

  “Correct. You have given me pause for thought. However, I was hoping I might be able to come and visit as the puppies are growing.”

  A warmth spread through her. She had given him every opportunity to drop this charade, and yet he did not. Mayhap his need to win was greater than his pride after all. Lacey pretended to contemplate it a moment before teasing him. “So was this your ploy all along? Did you hide this particular family in the park in hopes that you could use them to woo me?” She chuckled at his stunned face. He evidently thought—for a brief instant—that she was serious, but then he calmed a little.

  “What? Do you not remember me announcing ’tis you who will be courting me?”

  She laughed. “Ho! My lord, I do remember some brief nonsense of the sort. However—”

  He rudely interrupted. “Who is to say that you did not place the mama and her puppies under that bush so I would find them and lose my heart to the lot of you? How can I be certain this was not your dubious plan all along?”

  “You are a scapegrace!” she replied humorously.

  Then she watched as Lord Compton’s face took on a bit of seriousness as he asked, “Lady Lamb, would you like to tour Hyde Park with me tomorrow to see what other mischief we can find?”’

  She sat up, her heart beating a bit more forcefully. “Do you mean, exploring off the beaten path?”

  “Precisely.”

  Cautiously, she asked, “And what will this gain for either of us?”

  “Do we have something to lose by doing so?”

  She blinked and stared at him and his logic. “I suppose not. It is merely a walk through Hyde Park.”

  “No, my lady, you are most certainly offered a traipse through the park. Walking is what all the other boring polite society will be achieving.”

  She worried her lip a moment and then asked, “Could we go a little earlier than planned, though? I would much rather it not be during the fashionable hour. And four is really way too late. The papers will be in then, and I—” She stopped. Not because she was ashamed, or uncomfortable, but only because she was not certain he would care to hear her reasons to be at home by four in the afternoon.

  “Papers? The news, Lady Lamb?”

  “Er, yes.” She studied the dirty coat before her.

  “You wish to be home to read the news? Not to wait until later in the evening, but precisely at four o’clock when the papers are delivered?”

  “Four eighteen, four twenty around here.”

  He took on an air of astonishment. “Very well. If the lady cannot wait another moment to read the papers, who am I to keep her away from them?”

  She flushed. “Do not mock me, my lord.”

  “I most certainly am not. I find you fascinating and interesting—there is no mocking. But I see that you come by the name of bluestocking rather well.”

  “Thank you.” Whether or not he meant such a statement as a compliment, she would surely accept it as such, for there was no greater esteem than through one’s wisdom. “I have always loved to learn. When school was completed, I wished more than anything I could continue on and go to Cambridge, or Trinity, or King’s College, or even Oxford like you gentlemen.”

  “You are in earnest. You actually desired to have studied more?”

  “Yes. It is enthralling to absorb so much.”

  He shook his head. She almost made him wish he had remained at his studies longer and become a scholar. Almost. He cleared his throat. “So will you come with me to Hyde Park tomorrow at noon?” Compton all but grimaced as he said it. He rarely woke befor
e noon. However, perhaps it would not be difficult to give an exception this once.

  CHAPTER SEVEN:

  Lacey caught her breath at his repeated proposal of an outing to Hyde Park. She gently ran her hand over the slumbering canine and kept her focus there as she responded, “I thank you for asking me, for frankly you have gone out of your way to do so, and adapted to suit me, but I must decline.”

  “Are you otherwise engaged tomorrow?”

  She could easily tell a small fib and say yes. Lacey looked into his dark eyes and then shook her head. “No. I do not—I would hope not—no.”

  “You are not quite ready to be in my company, then?”

  “Yes. That is it precisely.”

  He ruefully grinned and touched two fingers to his brow a mock salute as he bowed his head. “As you wish.”

  There was a short, awkward pause before Pantersby returned with more milk, and then Lord Compton stood and bid his adieus.

  “No need to remove my coat from beneath the mongrels just yet. I will come to collect it another day.”

  “But the curricle is open, sir!” Lacey replied. “Would you not do better to have some sort of covering? Or take one of my coaches instead.”

  “You are kind. Yet, with all the rumors the gossipmongers have wagging about, leaving your house in my shirtsleeves and dirt ought not add more to the fire than what is already there.”

  The ton and their need to be in everyone’s business would forever vex her. “Let them think what they will, then. I have no need to be ashamed of your attire if you are not.”

  He bent low and kissed her hand. “I will pull the top of the thing up to give me some semblance of a roof, and hopefully hide the worst of my wear, anyhow. Farewell, Lady Lamb. Until our paths cross again.”