Unmerciful: (Forbidden Bonds) (A Forbidden Bond Novel Book 3)

by Cat Miller

  She was trying to remain calm, but her fuse was short, and it burned fast. She’d been such an agreeable human, but her inner vampire gave no fucks once Lindsay lost her temper. There hadn’t been any crimes committed yet … at least none that she’d been charged with, but she had assaulted many doctors, nurses, and security guards, like this guy. He wasn’t bigger than Kayden, so he didn’t really intimidate her. Lindsay could feel her annoyance rising the longer they kept her standing there waiting. Thankfully, she didn’t have to find out if he could kick her butt or not. His partner returned with news from the infirmary.

  “You’re free to go, Ms. Roselle. I apologize for the delay. Everyone has heard about your temper. I had to be sure you hadn’t killed everyone between the infirmary and the gate,” guard two joked with a smile. He reached back into the booth and hit the button to release the gate. It smoothly rolled open.

  Lindsay didn’t smile back at the man. She had killed many people. She just hadn’t done it on purpose and not at all since she’d been freed. She would carry the weight of those lost lives on her soul forever.

  “I’m sorry if we offended you,” said Guard One. “We’re just doing our job, but we’ve heard the rumors about what you went through with the rogue, Sheena. We lost a lot of good men when she paid a visit to this Enclave with her army of rebels. I respect your strength, Ms. Roselle. You survived. I just wanted to tell you that,” he said and stepped back out of her way.

  “Lindsay,” she said, and nodded in acceptance of the support the guards showed her. “You can call me Lindsay,” she told them as she passed through the open gate.

  She walked for miles until she reached a public street. The Enclave was situated on a huge piece of land down a private road that was surrounded by dense woods. These were mature trees with old growth looked like they’d been there for hundreds of years. The Enclave itself was very modern, but the surrounding land suggested that it hadn’t changed in centuries. That made Lindsay wonder exactly how long the Enclave had been there. She did spot security cameras at regular intervals as she walked down that long path. They were hidden well, but she saw them. As soon as anyone turned down the Enclave road, security would know they were on the way. That was the only sign of modern civilization beyond the road. There was nothing but forest for as far as she could see.

  It felt like she’d been walking half the night before she reached the town. Lindsay forgot that she had vampire super powers. She could have gone much faster than she did, but what if someone had seen her moving at an inhuman speed? Lindsay had never tried to go any faster than she did as a human. She’d have to practice before she tried it anywhere near a public setting. With her luck, she wouldn’t be able to stop, and she’d run right out into traffic. Contrary to the mythical human idea of vampires, they were not immortal. After surviving all Lindsay had, she didn’t want to meet her end under a tractor trailer because she couldn’t stop soon enough to prevent a collision.

  The streets in the small town near the Enclave were quiet with very little traffic at that time of night. Lindsay didn’t know where she was going. It was just good to be free for a while, even if she did have to go back eventually. She paused on a corner, trying to decide which direction she should turn, when a bus pulled up in front of her. The creaky doors folded, and the bus driver looked at her expectantly. Lindsay looked to her right where the sign for a bus stop stood tall. The driver was a wiry old guy with gray hair, warm brown skin, and kind, dark eyes. He raised an eyebrow when Lindsay just stood there staring back at him.

  She shrugged. “I don’t have any money,” she told him, and shoved her hands into her empty pockets, taking a step backward.

  The man looked at her more closely then, and Lindsay felt like he could see past her pretense of a random person on the street, straight through to the tired and broken spirit she was trying desperately to hide. He nodded once and motioned with one hand for her to hop on the bus. She didn’t have anything better to do and nowhere to go, so she climbed the three steep steps onto the bus. The doors unfolded to close behind her and Lindsay looked back through the cavernous expanse of the huge, completely empty vehicle. Her attention was drawn back to the driver, who was digging in his pockets.

  “Ah-ha!” he said victoriously and smiled widely at Lindsay. He dug the money for her fare out of his pocket.

  “Thank you.” Lindsay’s cheeks heated up. She wasn’t used to needing help, and she recognized that not many people were willing to give assistance to a stranger.

  His deep brown eyes smiled back at her for just a moment before he turned his attention to the road and pulled away from the curb.

  Lindsay staggered a bit when the vehicle bounced as she walked toward the rear of the bus. She’d never been on a bus before. She’d never used public transportation at all. Growing up the only child of an eccentric and extremely wealthy couple had afforded her many luxuries that she’d taken for granted until she moved away to college. Her parents had been strict but generous. She went to the best schools and was expected to earn the privilege by being perfect in every way. She had to have the top grades in her class and play an instrument. Lindsay had been sitting at a piano by the age of four. She also had to choose a sport to participate in. She didn’t like any of the athletics she’d tried, so her parents had settled for dance. Lindsay’s childhood had been strictly supervised by the two nannies that were responsible for her care. Her days were scheduled and monitored from the time she woke until her head hit the pillow at night. She’d never known there was any other way. Not until she enrolled in college. She was a prelaw and political science student because her father demanded it. Once she was set up in college, her parents’ strict supervision abruptly ended. It was like their job was done, so they let Lindsay go about her life as she wished. As long as she got perfect grades, and she always did, they let her be.

  Thinking of her parents brought a tear to her eye. It wasn’t that she missed them terribly. To be honest, she’d rarely seen either of them in the course of her day-to-day life. She had a nanny when she was young, and when she was old enough, they’d hired a governess to keep her in line. Mrs. Beachum had been kind but firm with Lindsay. She had a strict schedule that was followed to the letter. Her life was a never-ending series of school, piano lessons, and dance classes. Her parents had never attended a dance recital or an awards ceremony at the school. They got weekly reports from Mrs. Beachum, and that seemed to be the extent of their interest in Lindsay. She was performing as expected and that was all that mattered. They hadn’t even shown up for her high school commencement. Was it sad that she hadn’t expected them to come? If they had, it would likely have ruined her day. They made her nervous. Several times in her high school years Lindsay had decided to purposely fail a test or refuse to attend practice, just to see what would happen, but she always chickened out in the end.

  As her thoughts drifted over her childhood and lack of parental affection the bus rolled down the road. It was actually a comfort to think of the past now. It was safe. It was secure. It didn’t contain monsters that creep out of the night to snatch you from your peaceful if lonely existence. There weren’t friends who turned out to be vampires or insane rogues who destroyed your life.

  Lindsay had no idea how long she’d been lost in her own thoughts. The bus came to a stop near a park. She met the driver’s eyes in the huge rearview mirror.

  He smiled sadly. “This is the end of the line, miss.” She nodded and made her way to the front of the bus. The driver had stopped her before she took the last step out of the vehicle. “If you don’t mind me saying so, miss, you look like you could use a good meal.”

  Lindsay turned slowly. She did need to feed, but that wasn’t what the kindly man meant by his comment. Come to think of it, she couldn’t remember her last real meal. She hated the food they brought her at the Enclave.

  “I’ve been … sick,” she admitted, “very sick.”

  The driver nodded and held out his hand. “Take this and
get yourself something hot to eat. It’s chilly out there.” He extended a twenty dollar bill in her direction. She looked at it and blushed. She really was hungry. That was a good sign, right?

  “Go ahead, girl. Take it. I won’t miss it. There’s no shame in taking a helping hand. This life is too long and hard to make it through without needing a hand from time to time. Let this old man rest easy tonight knowing you’ve at least had a good meal. There’s a diner on the next corner.” He pointed down the road. “They’re open twenty-four hours and have the best country-fried steak and gravy I’ve ever tasted. Go on and get you some.”

  “Thank you, sir. You’ve been a blessing to me tonight.” Lindsay took the money he offered. She meant every word. Lindsay had needed to get away. She needed to feel human again. Like a person with a life outside of her vampire supervised quarters. This kindly man had helped her take a much needed breath of fresh air.

  He seemed embarrassed by her gratitude and shooed her off of the bus. She watched the bus pull away with the sign flashing ‘Out Of Service’. Standing on the curb, she turned and caught sight of herself in the window of a storefront. Her once lush golden hair looked dirty and limp. It was overly long in a French braid that reached her hip. The sweat suit that had become her standard form of dress since she’d landed in the arms of the Vampire Nation hung from her too thin frame. Her eyes looked hollow with dark purple smudges underneath that only magnified the appearance of her too lean face. Damn. No wonder he thought she needed a helping hand. She didn’t look like she could make it across the street on her own. She felt better than she looked, thanks to being a baby vampire.

  Lindsay enjoyed the predawn quiet on the street as she walked to the diner. Once inside she was seated and placed her order in no time. Several police officers were sitting at one table, and a group of ladies who wore scrubs sat at a booth in the far corner. The low rumble of quiet conversation and forks clanking against dishes as people ate their meals was comforting. It was good to feel human again. The giant plate of country fried steak with gravy and eggs was delicious. She ate as much as she could before pushing the plate away. Lindsay breathed easy as she sipped her steaming coffee and pondered her next step. This was her life now. There was no going back. Lindsay was a vampire, but she was also very human at heart. She had to find a balance between the two before she could move on. The first step to achieving that end was to pay a visit to her parents. It was time to go home, if only for a short visit.

  Fifteen

  Tessa delivered food to her customers and left them to enjoy their meal with a smile. She returned to the kitchen to check on the appetizer for another table. The clanging of pots and pans and clinking of dishes was an oddly comforting reminder of years gone by. Tessa had been a waitress in an Italian restaurant when she met Griffin. It felt like a lifetime ago. Her life had never been easy, but she remembered that time with fondness now. It was a time before she knew she wasn’t the scariest thing out there. It was a time before vampires and heartbreak.

  Tessa had been alone in the world after the death of her parents. She’d been different all of her life. Just like her mother and her mother’s mother before her. She had a gift that allowed her to see the future in her dreams and it had ruined her life. As a child, Tessa didn’t understand why she shouldn’t warn people of impending danger, no matter how many times her mother coached her to keep her dreams to herself. So when she informed the adults around her of upcoming life events, they would just dismiss her until the things she predicted became a reality. At the time it was difficult for her to understand the names she’d been called like evil, a witch, and a demon. Anything people didn’t comprehend was evil. Humanity has always feared what they can’t explain. Tessa’s gift couldn’t be explained away, so she’d been labeled a witch. Their family had to move more than once when she was young due to Tessa’s inability to keep her little mouth shut.

  Just because you could see the future, didn’t mean people wanted a warning. Her mother explained to Tessa that she knew Tessa’s dreams were real and not evil, because she had them, too, but Tessa was not allowed to share the things from her dreams with others. Tessa’s father had been mortified and wanted her to get psychological help. Tessa predicted her father’s death. She’d also known her mother and step-dad would die together. Knowing hadn’t stopped it from happening, had it?

  Tessa shook off the past and focused on her new beginning. She’d picked up her life and moved without warning. She’d known it would hurt Reilly when she left, but she would never be the woman he needed. It was better to leave without giving him time to agonize over it or try to change her mind. Tessa would not be swayed, and the debate would only hurt Reilly more than was necessary. She could have told Reilly that his one true mate was coming, but she was afraid he’d be resistant to anyone new in his life if she did. Again, just because she knew didn’t mean she should tell him. She needed to clear the path for the lucky lady who would win Reilly’s heart and give up her own heart in return. Reilly thought he loved Tessa, but it wasn’t true love. She didn’t believe anyone could really be in love with another person who kept them at arm’s length. Now that Tessa knew Reilly’s one true mate would find him, she was thankful that he hadn’t bonded himself to Tessa when he changed her. Everything happens for a reason. Deep down in his soul, Reilly knew he deserved better all along.

  Tessa would never be able to truly give her heart again. So she was grateful that Reilly’s generosity would be rewarded with love once Tessa was gone. She was also sick of vampire politics. Dani, her daughter and the light of her life, was married and living happily with her husband and mate. There was no need for Tessa to guard her child any longer. Tessa was finally healed from the injuries that nearly ended her life, the vampire blood Reilly fed her having done its job and turned her from a human to a made vampire. The process had taken longer than it did for most that survived the change, but Tessa had been very near death when she was changed. It was a miracle that she’d made it out alive.

  Tessa had to admit the most significant reason she decided to relocate was her need to get as far as she could from Griffin. She knew as soon as she separated herself from Reilly, and Griffin realized that they weren’t actually mated, he would break out the big guns to get her back in his life. Tessa just couldn’t go down that road again. Nothing had changed. He was still a leader among his people. They were a prejudiced and closed-minded race who would never accept a commoner who wasn’t even a born vampire in the upper echelons of their society. Nor did Tessa have any ambition to help Griffin rule over his people. She wasn’t interested in black-tie affairs or being a socialite. Tessa wanted a quiet life. It would be a long life now that she was a vampire, but she had nothing holding her down. She’d travel the world, visiting an area for a while and moving on when the mood struck her. Tessa had plenty of money to live off of for a very long time if she didn’t live extravagantly. That was her plan. She would move when she wanted to move and stay when she wanted to stay until she found a place that felt like home, though Tessa honestly couldn’t imagine anyplace feeling like home if Dani wasn’t with her.

  She’d packed up the things she had at Reilly’s place and loaded her SUV while Reilly was at the Enclave. She wrote him a heartfelt and honest letter about her reasons for leaving the way she did, and she hoped he could forgive her one day. On her way out of what felt like the vampire capital of America, Tessa called her daughter to explain her sudden move. This would be a difficult phone call, but Tessa wouldn’t leave without speaking to Danielle. Tessa listened to the ringing over the speaker in the truck, and like a coward, she wished it would just go to voicemail, but of course, her daughter answered. Dani never missed Tessa’s calls.

  “Hi, Mom. I’m so glad you called. I’m bored to death. Chase is working with Mason, and I’m stuck in the condo. You should come over. We’ll eat like vampires who won’t get fat and watch chick flicks.”

  As usual, Dani had a lot to say. Tessa didn’t know how to tell her
baby girl that she was leaving, so at first, she couldn’t say anything.

  “Mom, are you there?”

  “Yeah, baby, I’m here. I was just lost in thought.”

  “You were lost in thought while waiting for me to answer the phone after like two rings?” Dani asked, and again, Tessa didn’t really know what to say. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

  Tessa sighed. “Danielle, baby, I love you with all of my heart. I guarded you with my life like any good parent would, but you don’t need me anymore.”

  “I know you love me, Mommy. I love you, too, and I will always need you. You’re scaring me. What’s happening?”

  Tessa merged onto the entrance to the interstate and contemplated whether it would have been better to wait until she was a little farther away to talk to Dani, but it was too late now. Hopefully, Dani wouldn’t pull some crazy phone tracking stunt and hunt Tessa down. You couldn’t track a device that was off, right? She’d have to Google that because staying hidden today was way harder than it had been more than two decades ago.

  “I’m tired,” Tessa sighed. The idea of trying to remain anonymous again was not a pleasant one. She decided to turn around and stop at the bank and withdraw some money from her considerable savings. Using cash to pay for everything would give her a little time. Then she’d get one of those throwaway phones. These are things she probably should have thought of before taking off. She didn’t want to hide forever. She just needed some time to sort out her own mind. Tessa deserved it, and she refused to feel guilty about it. It was time she worried about her personal mental and emotional needs. So yeah, Tessa was going to try to fly under the radar for a while.

  “I’m just so very exhausted by everything that’s happened since you started college. My life doesn’t feel like my own any longer. I need to get away. Move away. Start over somewhere where vampires aren’t as common as street signs.”