Unmerciful: (Forbidden Bonds) (A Forbidden Bond Novel Book 3)

by Cat Miller

  It was time to change the subject. “Tell me why kissing and stuff matters when it comes to feeding?” Lindsay was honestly curious about Kayden’s explanation of how ‘the good guy’ interacted with humans. It sounded like a strange rule to her.

  Kayden flushed a little before he answered.

  “The bite of a vampire can be very erotic. If both parties are willing, the hormones released into the human by our saliva causes euphoria. This isn’t the rule everywhere you go, but in most areas close to an Enclave establishments are strict. Nobody wants the council breathing down their necks. Many vampires have a personal preference regarding sex with a human they just fed on. I don’t do it. Once a person is enthralled, I feel like I’ve taken too much of their free will for them to make a choice to say yes or no. Again, that’s not how most young males operate. So if the female is showing interest and allowing you to get close it’s less likely they would say no later if you know what I mean. Many vampires just feed and let the human walk away feeling high and relaxed with no memory of the feeding. It just depends on the vampire, I guess.”

  Lindsay examined Kayden’s face while he explained the ethics of sex while feeding. He was blushing. The longer he spoke, the redder his face became, and Lindsay had a feeling she knew why.

  “Did you feed on me, Kayden?”

  “I. Well. You see … Fuck!” Kayden turned his back on Lindsay.

  “You did!” Lindsay gasped. She wasn’t angry. She was just surprised.

  “Yes, I did, dammit! It was all your fault! You were so hot in that dress, and when we were dancing, I could feel your stiff nipples rubbing against my chest. You kissed me, and it was so good. You asked me if I wanted to leave, and I tried. We were heading for the door, but you kissed me again, and I was a goner. I got you to the nearest secluded place behind a closed door, and I couldn’t stop myself. I was feeding, and you were pleading with me and pulling on my clothes. I’m only a male, Hellion! There’s only so much I can take.”

  Lindsay gasped again because she remembered most of what he was talking about, just not the feeding. She did have a vague impression of Kayden at her neck though.

  “You fed in the club and it was all my fault?” She was shocked by Kayden’s blatant rule breaking. Honestly, she was thrilled that Kayden had been so turned on by her that he’d thrown caution to the wind. Her chest swelled just a little. After being so secluded for most of her life and the string of bad relationships she’d had in college, it felt good to know someone as gorgeous as Kayden found her that appealing.

  “I did, and yes, it was your damn fault for being so sexy I couldn’t resist you,” Kayden said, and Lindsay could hear the smile in his voice. He knew blaming her was ridiculous, but she was flattered, so she was going to let him get away with it. “It was a completely private area,” he continued more seriously. “That was Chase’s private apartment in the club where he crashes if he doesn’t feel like going home. He has fed there many times. It was still wrong of me, though, I know.” Kayden turned around and stared at the door. He was embarrassed by his weakness, and Lindsay adored him for it.

  “I never have sex with the females after I feed. Never. But you made me lose all control. I had to have you, and I knew you wanted me, too. So I made sure you were fully awake and completely aware of what was happening first, before we …” Kayden’s words trailed off.

  “That doesn’t sound like you were out of control. It seems to me you were a gentleman by giving me the chance to say no before things actually did get out of control.”

  Lindsay didn’t want Kayden to feel guilt over that night. If they hadn’t spent that time together years ago, Lindsay didn’t think she would have survived the days and weeks after her rescue. It was hard for her to admit that anything Dr. Fitz said might have been right, but it was true that Lindsay had relied too heavily on Kayden once the worst of her withdrawal from the Hypervamp was over.

  Kayden was the one connection she carried from her old life into the new one she was thrust into. He had been Lindsay’s security blanket when everything around her was painful and terrifying. Even after Lindsay was physically healed, she hadn’t wanted Kayden to leave her side. Why? The idea of facing this scary world without him was heartbreaking, that’s why. She must have known all along that it wouldn’t last. She was in love with Kayden, and he was just doing what good guys do. He’d gone above and beyond for her, but that was over now. He had a full life that didn’t include her. It was a life he needed to get back to living, but she wanted him to be there to slay all of her fanged dragons.

  So, yes, Dr. Fitz had been right about at least one thing. Lindsay needed to learn to stand alone without a buffer to protect her from her fears. She’d found out that just like humans, most vampires were good people. None of that lessened Lindsay’s love for Kayden. Not at all. She had learned to accept who and what she was now. Lindsay 2.0 with a fangs add-on package and a broken heart. Because no matter how strong Lindsay felt now, she would never stop needing Kayden. Not to protect her as he had in the past, but just to be hers. She didn’t need him to feed her excuses for his disappearance from her life. He was a good man. He’d never want to hurt her intentionally, but Kayden needed a real mate. Kayden deserved a full-blooded vampire with a strong bloodline who could give him children to carry on his name. That was just one more way Dr. Fitz was right.

  “I don’t want to talk about this shit anymore, Kayden. It’s bad enough Dr. Fitz was forcing me to think about it every day for weeks. I’m finished with all the treatments.” Lindsay decided that she wouldn’t be subjecting herself to Dr. Fitz’s hospitality anymore. She was going to go to her condo and find a way to start her life over again. She’d need to get a locksmith to open the door and change the locks. Lindsay had lost the keys along with everything else in her purse when she was abducted. Until now she hadn’t felt ready to be on her own. That was all going to change now because she couldn’t stay there where Kayden worked and lived. Her heart would break all over again every time she saw him.

  “That time in my life is over, and I’m ready to let it all go. I was hoping the people around me would, too, but I can’t seem to escape it here on the Enclave. I’m not a patient and I’m not a prisoner, so I’m getting out of here soon.”

  “Where are you going, to your parents’ house?” Kayden crossed the room and clutched Lindsay’s shoulders like he was trying to hold her in place.

  “I went to see my parents. They weren’t home, as usual, and the staff didn’t seem to have any idea that I was missing.” Lindsay felt the flush crawl up her face. It was hard to admit out loud that your parents actually didn’t care if you lived or died. She didn’t speak to them directly, but they weren’t looking for her. As far as Lindsay knew, she hadn’t even been reported missing. She couldn’t find anything about her disappearance on the internet. There was nothing at all. It was like no one had noticed she was gone. “I have to go to the bank tomorrow. Then I’m going to my condo downtown. I’ll have to get a locksmith, but that’s no problem. I’m horrified by the idea of what might be living in my refrigerator after all of this time,” Lindsay joked to lighten the mood.

  She needed to find out where her car was as well. She wondered what the school had done with her belongings from her dorm room.

  “I have a lot to do in the next couple of days.” She didn’t want Kayden to feel like he had to continue being her hero. So she pasted on a fake smile and let him off the hook. “I won’t be homeless, Kayden. Don’t worry about me. I have a home, and I have money. I just need a new bank card and identification since I haven’t seen my purse since …” There was no need to finish that sentence. They both knew when she’d lost her purse. “It won’t take me long to get out of here.”

  Kayden looked like a thunder cloud, all dark and broody. Then his expression lightened and his shoulders lifted. He brushed her cheek and smiled indulgently. The touch of his hand sent a shock through her body. Lindsay wanted to grab that hand and hold it to her face. �
�What about feeding? It’s hard to get bagged blood on the streets, Hellion. That’s not something humans sell. You can’t leave until you get over your fear of feeding.”

  “I’m fine with feeding. I don’t like it, but I had a good teacher. I have everything under control. I don’t have any familiars yet, of course.” Lindsay used the word she’d heard Samantha use about the humans she fed on regularly. “Really, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m going to survive all on my own.”

  The thunderclouds returned to Kayden’s face. “Who the fuck was your teacher?”

  Did Lindsay imagine it, or had Kayden growled that question? His fingers tightened on her upper arms, and his left eye twitched slightly.

  “Samantha Vaughn.” Lindsay knew from conversations with Samantha that Kayden, Chase, Samantha, and Brandi had grown up together due to their parents’ close relationship. Samantha admitted to being a total princess and royal pain in the ass. Samantha talked a lot about the mistakes she’d made when she was younger, but Lindsay hadn’t seen a glimpse of the fanged terror people seemed to expect when Samantha entered a room. The woman was still being judged for her youthful indiscretions.

  “Sam?” Kayden’s eyebrows rose in surprise and confusion.

  “Yes, Samantha. She doesn’t like to be called Sam. I know she’s not popular around here, but she’s been a good friend to me. She helped me through the feeding issues and some other stuff, too. I like her a lot, and I hope she and I can stay in touch when I leave.”

  “What other stuff did Sam, excuse me, Samantha help you with?” Kayden asked as he pulled Lindsay a little closer.

  “It doesn’t matter, Kayden. I don’t want to talk about Samantha or anything else right now. This might be the last time I see you. Let’s not think about the reasons we can’t be.”

  Reaching out, Lindsay placed a hand on Kayden’s chest. His eyes met Lindsay’s and she let him see just how much she loved him. She wouldn’t say the words and make this that much harder for him and embarrassing for her, but she would let her eyes tell him just this once. Lindsay’s hands glided up Kayden’s chest and neck until her fingers dug into his hair. His eyes flared with pleasure and need when Lindsay fisted his hair and pulled his head down so she could nibble on his lips, teasing him with her teeth and tongue. Kayden could never be hers, but she could have one more night with him. One more chance to make some memories she could pull out and examine when she was lonely and dreaming of the man she loved.

  Lindsay looked up into a pair of hazel eyes that were suddenly dark with passion. Kayden knew what she wanted, or he thought he did, anyway. When it came down to it, his desire for Lindsay was always greater than his misplaced need to protect and shelter her. Lindsay didn’t need Kayden’s chivalrous sense of right and wrong. She needed Kayden. She needed all of him one more time. Then she would walk away from his world of vampires and leave him in peace. When they’d been together before Kayden hadn’t been aware of the details of Lindsay’s captivity with David. Now that she knew he was avoiding her out of guilt after her personal hell had been spelled out for him, and not because he didn’t want a relationship, Lindsay was determined to show him that she was ready to move on with her life even if it had to be without him.

  Kayden reached for Lindsay with a helpless growl of frustration. His lips crushed hers. He was tired of her teasing, and suddenly she was weightless. His solid arms wrapped around Lindsay and pulled her to his chest. She wrapped herself around him. Kayden was claiming her mouth with a savageness that spoke of his need for her. Lindsay held on as the world spun. Kayden deposited her in the middle of the bed and climbed over her like an animal pouncing on his prey.

  The air in her room was cool, but Lindsay was on fire. She loved this man so much, and now that she had her hands on him she never wanted to let go. They ripped at each other’s clothing. Lindsay’s shirt was pulled over her head, and Kayden groaned when he found Lindsay wasn’t wearing a bra. He licked the valley between her breasts with a long, slow swipe of his tongue before moving over to suckle strongly on one breast, and then he gave the same attention to the other one. Lindsay was writhing in her sheets, aching for more contact. Her sensitive nipples were pressed against Kayden’s chest and then she was the one groaning. Her sex pulsed when Kayden cupped her ass and pulled her pelvis against his. He rocked his hip and let her feel how much he wanted her.

  “Pants. Pants,” Lindsay panted, wanting to feel all of Kayden’s skin against hers. Kayden moved away from Lindsay to strip them both completely. He returned to press his body against Lindsay from knees to chests, and she clung to him. Kayden nuzzled her neck as he ground his hips into Lindsay’s, running his cock over her clit again and again. Her sex pulsed with the need to be filled with him again. The fresh scent of his skin filled her lungs. Lindsay’s gums ached, and her vision changed. She was struggling to control her fangs. It was a skill that took time to learn and she hadn’t mastered it yet. Her fangs descended, but when Kayden looked down at her, she saw that he was out of control, too.

  “Fuck, Lindsay, baby, are you sure?” Kayden didn’t wait for her answer before he began eating at her mouth again. Lindsay allowed him control because she didn’t want to cut him with her fangs. He wasn’t giving her an opening to assure him that she was ready. It was as if he wasn’t ready to hear the answer. “I want you so fucking badly, but I will stop. I will walk away. It might kill me, and my dick might explode, but I don’t want you to regret anything. Not with me. Not ever.”

  Kayden lifted himself off of her to look into her eyes as he waited for an answer. His solid cock brushed against her in just the right place again, and Lindsay could hardly breathe. Her back arched.

  “I want you, Kayden. I-I love you,” Lindsay admitted the truth and hoped it didn’t send him running. She needed to say it out loud to him one time.

  His eyes glazed over but not with denial as Lindsay feared he would. It was acceptance and mutual desire that shined back at Lindsay. Kayden moved to the side and balanced himself on one arm so he could cup Lindsay’s sex. He hummed with approval at how wet and ready she was before his fingers delved deeper into her heat. She writhed under him and begged, literally begged for more. Kayden returned to her lips as he teased and tempted her pussy with his fingers. He lowered himself again to trail kisses down her neck and over her collarbone. Lindsay was lost. This was what she’d wanted. Kayden was taking her to that place she’d only ever found with him. It was a place of mindlessly perfect pleasure. It was also a place of safety where Lindsay didn’t have to think about anything. She could just be. She could be with Kayden and know he was completely with her mind and body, and nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered but the two of them and the pleasure they gave each other.

  Kayden made his way to the valley between her breasts. Burying his nose there, he inhaled deeply before moving to her nipples. Again he gave each nipple his undivided attention in turn before moving lower to her belly. His hands teased her inner thighs, and Lindsay squirmed. Kayden’s kisses reached the top of her sex, and he cursed with a drawn out groan.

  “Fuuuuuck. Lindsay, this is so hot.” Kayden nuzzled her sex, rubbing his face over her mound. She’d forgotten about that little detail. Before she hadn’t exactly had access to the things she needed to maintain her preferred hygiene routine. She was doused with buckets of soapy water and hosed off. She’d been away from Kayden since she pulled herself together enough to begin caring about things like bikini waxing. As soon as she was allowed to leave the Enclave, Lindsay and Samantha had gone for a day of beauty. That included cleaning up her lady bits. Now Lindsay was sporting a tidy landing strip of hair.

  “Relax, I’m going to be a while,” Kayden whispered against her skin. His hands pressed her thighs as wide as they would go. Lindsay’s head fell back against the bed, and all of her muscles loosened. She hadn’t realized how tense she was until Kayden began massaging her. Kayden ran his hands up and down her thighs as he teased her folds with just the tip of his tongue. T
hen with one long lick and appreciative moan, he laved her with his tongue from back to front. Lindsay’s eyes rolled back in her head. Kayden took his time, in no hurry. He savored her flavor as he took her to the peak and backed off twice, building her orgasm. Each thrust of his tongue and sucking swirl around her clit had Lindsay clutching the sheets and panting with the need to release.

  “So beautiful. So ready for me. I could do this all night. Maybe next time. Tonight, I need to have you under me. I need to be buried in all this sweet heat,” Kayden told her before he sucked on her clit and began working it with his tongue. Two fingers slid into her sex, and that was all it took. Lindsay screamed her release. Kayden worked her through the climax, licking and stroking her through the orgasm before backing off slowly, almost reluctantly.

  Lindsay saw stars when Kayden moved over her. She wrapped one leg around his thigh and pulled him to her. He rubbed his length against her slickness, wetting all that hard flesh in preparation. Lindsay shook with the need to feel him filling her body.

  “Love how wet you are, baby. Look what I did to you.” Kayden gave her an arrogant smirk.

  Lindsay didn’t argue with the man. He was baiting her just a little. She could have pointed out that thick cock was thanks to her. She would let him be the alpha for tonight. She rubbed herself against his protruding length. Kayden hissed, and a shiver ran down his huge frame. Yeah, she knew who was really in charge.

  Kayden possessed her body then. He was a really big man, proportionate all over, but he wouldn’t be denied entry. With a few patient but unyielding thrusts he was buried deep in her pussy. He began to move his hips in a steady rhythm that had Lindsay clinging and digging her nails into his back in no time. His speed was building, his breaths blowing hot over her skin as he held himself above her, looking down at where their bodies were connected. Then he gazed into her eyes and destroyed her for any other man.