Silently Broken (Broken #3)

by Maegan Abel

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Cover design by Kaitlyn Riedmueller

  Photographer: Furious Fotog

  Copyright © 2014 Forever Red Publishing LLC

  All rights reserved.

  For my Mom

  You grounded me until it was finished

  So here it is!

  Part One

  Mercy

  Zane

  “Hidden Away,

  The dark past I’ve overcome,

  It’s powerless,

  Until I close my eyes at night.”

  – Mercy by Seeking Absolution

  Chapter One

  Gone

  October 21st

  “You have to sleep,” Tish said, his voice hollow as he dropped into the chair opposite me. I ran my fingertip over the lip of the glass in front of me without responding. “Zane, you need to sleep.”

  Lifting the glass, I downed the amber liquid in one long drink. Tish sighed, snatching the bottle away as I reached for it.

  “You’ve had enough.” He shoved up from the chair and moved to the other side of the kitchen, placing the bottle on the counter.

  “Fuck you,” I responded, my voice flat.

  “No, fuck you.” I turned my head toward Tish lazily, exhaustion and the liquor seeming to make every movement sluggish. “You think you’re the only one hurting? You think you’re the only one who’s scared? You’re not. You aren’t the only one who loved them…loves them,” he corrected, running a hand over his head. But it was too late.

  “You think they’re dead,” I stated, nodding slowly as my eyes refocused on the empty glass.

  “No. I don’t. Jesus, Zane,” Tish sighed, keeping his distance. The silence stretched and I didn’t argue. It didn’t matter. I would know if they were dead. That’s what I kept telling myself. I would know. As a parent, I would know if Conner were dead, and Lili… Between the two of them, they had my heart. I would know if my heart was dead.

  I listened to the grating tick of the clock on the wall behind me, tilting my head up to look at it.

  Almost five in the morning.

  Ten hours. It had only been ten hours since everything fell apart. Was that all? It seemed like it should’ve been longer.

  The fire department had searched the house and said no one was inside during the fire. Unfortunately, it was completely destroyed, so that left us no clues as to what happened. The police interviewed neighbors, but no one had seen anything—or, at least, they weren’t talking if they had. Detective Sanders was looking into it. There was no proof Adam was involved, but there was definitely enough to point suspicion. She was trying to get him named as a person of interest, but without a vehicle, or any solid leads, there wasn’t even enough information to put out an Amber Alert. Some of the officers questioning us even asked if it was possible that Lili kidnapped Conner. Kas practically had to drag Tish from the room after that.

  The police said if Lili and Conner were alive, they could be anywhere. And we had no idea which direction to even start looking. All we could do was wait to see what was found during the investigation.

  Wait.

  That was their big fucking plan.

  Just sit and wait.

  “You need to sleep,” Tish said again, and I sighed. A part of me knew I couldn’t stay awake forever, but another part dreaded the speed at which time would pass when I did sleep. The first twenty-four hours after an abduction were critical. That’s what the police said. I couldn’t afford to just sit back and wait. Or sleep.

  “No. I need to be doing something. I need to go look for them.” I got to my feet, gripping the table as the room spun around me.

  “You’re drunk,” Tish stated, moving to steady me as I started toward the door.

  “No, I’m not,” I argued, but he was right. He glanced over at the nearly empty bottle of tequila on the counter and back to me. “Fine. I’m drunk.”

  “Let’s just get you to the couch.”

  He helped me into the living room, coddling me like a child as I tried to get situated against the cushions. I plugged my phone into the charger someone—Paige, maybe—brought to me with a bag of essentials. Toothbrush, basic toiletries, a few changes of clothes, the things I hadn’t taken the time to even think about missing yet. Tish surprised me by dropping into his recliner rather than going back to bed. I watched him as he lowered his head into his hands, clearly struggling.

  “We had a fight,” I said, unsure why. I blinked slowly, watching as Tish’s expression morphed to confusion.

  “Who?”

  “Me and Lili. We had a fight last night,” I replied, feeling my body starting to give into the exhaustion.

  “You two were always arguing about something.”

  I shook my head slowly as he spoke. “This was different. I thought she was going to leave. I was trying to make her mad enough to leave.”

  He stared at me, open mouthed and speechless for a moment. “You didn’t tell the police this?”

  I shrugged. “Why would I? They would just use it as ammo in the case they want to build against her. She didn’t do this.”

  “I know,” Tish snapped, sighing.

  The silence was too much, too painful, so I continued talking. “I apologized to her, but I knew it was going to take more.” I closed my eyes. It was easier to say it that way. “She was still really upset when I left for work. It’s like some part of me knew this shit was gonna happen. But then, I got selfish. I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, it would be okay. Maybe she could handle it. Maybe we could actually make it,” I rambled before running out of breath.

  “What were you fighting about?” Kas asked, bringing my vertigo back as I raised my head to look at where she stood in the doorway. There was something in her expression, in the concern shining in her eyes that made me wonder if she already knew.

  “She thought she might be pregnant,” I said, thankful for the alcohol. There was no way I would’ve been able to say that sober.

  “Christ,” Tish’s voice came out choked as he dropped his head again.

  “I was such a dick. I knew…I knew better than to start a relationship with her. I’m going to spend my entire life paying for what I did to Olivia and it wasn’t right to drag her down with me.” I realized I was staring up at the ceiling, my head resting on the back of the couch as I fought to keep my eyes open. “And now I’ve lost them.”

  “You have to stop blaming yourself…” Tish started, but his voice faded as sleep overtook me.

  Somewhere, in some place in the back of my mind, I could see her. As I hunted for that little glimpse, it seemed to elude me. Behind my eyelids, she taunted me, staying just beyond my reach. So close, and yet, so far.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Lili laughed, her foot edging to the side, giving away her plan.

  “Think about what?” I asked innocently, lunging forward when she moved again.

  She slipped just past my reaching fingers, squealing with laughter as she bolted down the hallway toward the living room. “Conner, save me!” She grabbed him and lifted him u
p, making him laugh along with her as she used him like a shield.

  “He can’t save you,” I said, lowering my voice as I lifted the Nerf gun, knowing Lili had run out of ammo when she ambushed me in my favorite hiding spot in the laundry room.

  With a battle cry, Conner pulled a smaller version of the gun from behind him, hitting me repeatedly. I fell to the ground, listening to the matching sounds of victory from Conner and Lili as they celebrated.

  “You turned my own son against me!” I feigned horror as Conner dropped on top of me, just barely giving me time to catch him before his knees landed in my stomach.

  “I never promised to fight fair,” Lili said, winking at me as she ruffled Conner’s hair. “And he makes a perfect little secret weapon.”

  Standing in the charred remains of the living room, the light rain pelted down on the ash surrounding me. I carefully toed the floor, or what once was the floor, my thoughts all over the place as my eyes stared at the melted remains of a picture frame. If I hadn’t already known it was a picture of Lili, Conner, and me Paige had taken about a month ago, I never would’ve recognized the mess left behind.

  It didn’t matter, though. I could feel her. She’d found her way into my head last night at Tish’s, but here, I could really feel her.

  The investigation confirmed what the fire department thought yesterday—no one was in the house. It should’ve made me feel better. I should’ve been relieved. Instead, I was drifting, lost in a place as dark as the shell of a house I was standing in.

  “Oh my God,” Jackson’s voice made me turn and I watched as he stepped around the collapsed porch.

  “Yeah,” I said, swallowing as guilt crept in again. “I told you it was a total loss.”

  “I don’t give a shit about the house. We have insurance, but damn…” he trailed off, his shoes crunching over the blackened pieces of the life I once had. “How are you holding up?”

  “You mean other than worrying about my girl and son being kidnapped?” I snapped, groaning and pressing my fingers to my temples, the reminder of my hangover pounding through my skull. “Sorry.”

  Jackson was quiet as he walked further into the house, making his way toward the bedrooms. “Did they figure out what started it?”

  “Cigarette caught some boxes in the garage,” I answered absently, trailing behind him. I turned, heading into the room in a daze, my eyes focusing on the remnants of Conner’s bed. Based on the timing, he might have been napping when the fire started. A piece of Conner’s favorite blanket, the one Lizzie’s parents bought for him when he was born, was snagged on the ladder. I fingered the scrap for a moment before yanking it free of the wood. It felt just as soft and worn as it always did.

  “They’re going to be okay. The police will find them. You know that, right?” Jackson’s voice was low and serious. I nodded slowly. That’s what everyone kept telling me. “Hey, check it out.” I turned, letting out a breath at the sight of Conner’s Optimus Prime. It seemed to be almost completely undamaged, though it was covered in a layer of soot and ash. Jackson handed it to me and, using my thumb, I started wiping away the grime to reveal the bright colors underneath.

  “He has to come home,” I whispered, trying to ignore the tremor in my voice.

  “He will. They both will,” Jackson reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder as we both stared at the toy. “Come on, let’s see what else we can find.”

  I nodded and followed Jackson, using a box I hadn’t even realized he brought to collect anything salvageable. It was a tedious and heartbreaking process. Though we hadn’t lived there long, it had become the first home for our little family.

  By the time we were ready to leave, the small box was pathetically light. Luckily, the fireproof box served its purpose so I had all of our important documents and some older pictures I’d stored there. It was hard to imagine just how devastating it was to lose every material possession you ever owned until it happened to you.

  Honestly though, that devastation was nothing compared to what I felt remembering Lili and Conner were missing. I’d avoided watching the time while we worked, but as I sat the box in my trunk, I pulled out my phone. Almost noon. Seventeen hours.

  “Seven more hours,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse.

  “Stop. You’re going to make yourself crazy,” Jackson replied, but he was distracted. I stared down at the box for a moment, trying for what felt like the hundredth time to remember something, anything, that could lead me to Conner and Lili.

  The familiar double beep of a phone, the warning sound it was dying, caught my attention. I glanced over at Jackson, who was frowning at the device in his hand. “Damn. The battery on this thing is shit,” he said, rubbing his forehead as he shoved it in his pocket.

  “Need to use mine?” I asked, hoping he would say no. It wasn’t that I had a problem lending him my phone, I just didn’t want to miss the police or the detective if they tried to call.

  “I’m good. I was just texting Sydney to let her know I was on my way back. I took a few pictures, but I know the insurance adjuster is going to come out in a few days to take more.”

  I nodded distractedly, shoving my damp hair out of my face. I glanced up, thankful the rain that had been falling since early this morning finally seemed to be moving away from the city. Though I tried to stop, my thoughts immediately found their way back to Conner and Lili. I hoped, with everything I had, they were safe.

  “You need to wait,” Tish said, grabbing my arm to stop me as I headed toward the entryway.

  “No. I have two hours. Two. I’ve waited all goddamn day and now I have two hours left before…” I paused, not sure exactly what happened at the twenty-four hour mark. It’s not like you could have any less leads than zero. The only thing worse would be if…I pulled free of his grip, heading toward the front door. “I have to find them.”

  “Stop. What are you going to be able to do that the police aren’t already doing?” Tish’s fingers dug into my arm again and I shook him off, spinning to face him.

  “I can’t just sit here an—” Three sharp raps on the front door cut me off. Both our heads snapped in that direction before I looked back at Tish. Kas had a key and Paige was in her bedroom. My heart seemed to be beating faster than possible and I couldn’t breathe. The “what ifs” were all I could focus on.

  “Wait here,” Tish said as he headed toward the door. I shook my head, finding my ability to move as I followed his rushed steps. He glanced through the peephole and swore before opening the door.

  I let out a breath, in either relief or frustration that it wasn’t the police. My grandparents were standing on the porch, looking concerned as Tish stepped aside to let them enter.

  “Zane!” My grandmother rushed to me, wrapping her arms around my middle. “Why didn’t you call us? This isn’t the kind of thing we should have to hear about from your sister,” she scolded, and I immediately rolled my eyes.

  “Paige!” Tish called, clearly just as frustrated as I was.

  “Nana!” Paige’s voice rang in the tiny confines of the entryway and my grandmother released me, turning to hug my fucking Judas of a little sister. I glared at Paige, but she didn’t even seem to notice.

  Tish closed the door, heading into the living room, my grandparents and Paige trailing behind him. I paused, glancing between the now clear exit and my family. I could go now and deal with all of this when I got back.

  “Get your ass in here,” Tish snapped.

  “Jared,” my grandfather scolded, using his first name in a way no one else could get away with, but Tish ignored him, heading straight back to me.

  “You won’t do them any good by running around aimlessly. Let the police do their job,” Tish said quietly, his voice calmer.

  I could still feel my hands tingling with the increased blood flow from my pounding heart. I heard what he said, but had to repeat it to myself before I really understood. Even then, I didn’t want to listen.

  “I can’t lose them,�
�� I said, hearing the plea in my voice. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. Tish couldn’t make them suddenly come home any more than I could.

  “You won’t,” Tish said, shocking me as he pulled me to him. We were brothers, sure, but we’d never been the touchy-feely, emotional types. Hugging…hell, I couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged me. “Lili’s strong. You remember telling her that? You wrote her that note when she went to Austin and she carried that thing with her everywhere. She’s going to fight,” Tish said, trembling as he spoke. It wasn’t until he released me that I realized it was actually me. I was shaking, violently, the overwhelming terror and despair warring inside me. “You have to stay calm. You won’t do anyone any good if you break down. Got it?”

  Again, I repeated his words to myself, trying to make my brain function enough to find the logic in them. I had to stay strong. For Conner. For Lili. I needed to be strong. I nodded slowly, vaguely aware of the room full of people staring at us, gaping at the interaction.

  “Got it.”

  Chapter Two

  Guests

  The twenty-four hour mark passed without significant event. There was no gong, no phone call, no one even noticed.

  Except me.

  I stared at the clock on the cable box beneath the TV, watching as it changed, minute by minute, until the time written on the police report officially passed. It was over. The critical window of time after an abduction was gone and we still had no idea where Lili and Conner were.

  Scrubbing my hands through my hair, I dropped my elbows to my knees, thinking about what I should’ve done differently. If I’d gone out looking, maybe I could’ve found something.

  My phone rang, shrill and annoying as it cut through the idle chatter in the room. I fished it out of my pocket anxiously, anger bubbling up when I saw who it was. “What?” I snapped, answering the call.