by Maegan Abel
"Thank you," I whispered, fighting back a yawn as my now relaxed body started drifting off to sleep.
Trying to apply eyeliner, I strained on my tiptoes in an attempt to get closer to the bathroom mirror around my protruding stomach. Makeup, hair, it was all easily becoming the bane of my existence.
Actually, anything that required moving was becoming a hassle, but Zane was right, we all deserved this night out.
Things had been tense the last few weeks. The doctors were worried about further damage to my spine during delivery so they scheduled a C-section four weeks before my due date to ensure I wouldn't go into labor. Now, with that date less than a month away, we knew we wouldn't have a whole lot of time to get together for a while.
"Easy. You're going to hurt yourself," Zane said, stepping into the open doorway. We'd adapted a better routine after six weeks on our own, but he was still as overprotective as ever. He moved into the bathroom, closing the door and pointing to the full-length mirror he'd put up for me.
"Didn't feel up to closing the door," I answered honestly. As hard as it was to admit my fears aloud, it was important for both of us to be transparent about these issues. It was the only way to keep truly moving forward.
"Want me to open it?" he asked, reaching for the handle.
Tossing the eyeliner pencil onto the counter, I shook my head. "I'm good. You're in here with me." I smiled at the satisfied expression on his face. It was beyond easy being with him most of the time. We were as natural as breathing.
"Come here," he said, crooking his finger at me. My smile widened and I waddled toward him. I couldn't help it. I was fucking huge. When I was close, he grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward the mirror. We both stared at the reflection for a moment. I couldn't say what he was thinking, but my mind was on how far we'd come.
He lifted his hands over my head and something shiny and metallic caught my attention right before it settled against my chest. It was a silver heart with a beautiful tiger lily inside. I glanced up from the intricate design to his face but he was focused solely on the task of clasping the silver chain against the back of my neck. I watched his perfect concentration until he finished, leaving his hands against my neck as he finally looked up to meet my eyes.
"The day you told me you were getting a tattoo of tiger lilies, you explained the significance of the flower and I convinced myself you were telling me something about your past. Turns out, you were sharing your present." His fingers shifted on my neck, lifting the chain slightly as another charm slipped down and landed beside the first. This one was the shape of Texas.
"When you finally did share your past, it was almost as if you were embarrassed about who you were. You felt you had something to hide. But you were willing to open up about it, even if it was only to help me get custody of Conner, and that was amazing. You showed more grace in the way you handled the demons of your past than I could ever imagine one tiny person containing." I frowned, elbowing him playfully for the poke at my size. He smiled and the chain shifted again, another charm sliding down to rest on the other side of the heart. This one was a solid silver number nine. My heart ached as I stared at it, that part of me being such a painful memory.
"When you were taken, it was like my whole world went dark. But it was when you came home that my heart truly broke. Seeing you, knowing how much you were hurting without being able to do anything to help, it was almost crippling. I wanted to save you, but I couldn't. It should've been me, but it wasn't. Loving you was never the problem, it was more that I didn't think I deserved to have you." He leaned down, his face disappearing as he pressed his lips against the back of my neck where the clasp of the necklace rested.
"All of these, they're a part of you. And you're a part of me. I love every piece of you, Lili." His fingers moved again and something black slid down, resting with the charms.
I stared at the black ring, the diamond shining under the lights of the bathroom. My heart swelled, skipping around as a little gasp escaped. My fingers jumped to the metal, sliding along the surface, feeling how warm it was from his hand before looking back up at his face in the mirror. I had to blink a few times to clear the tears to my cheeks before I could see him.
For the first time, he didn't look nervous at all. He smiled softly, his hands resting lightly on my shoulders.
"Is this your way of asking me to marry you?" I whispered the repeated question from our first official date on the boat, forcing it out around a sob.
Zane's smile widened and he turned me around to face him. Slowly, he lowered himself to one knee, keeping my hands in his. I was shaking and certain the shock I was feeling showed.
"Lili, for years I felt like I was cursed. I knew I would spend forever paying for the mistakes I'd made, but you make me feel deserving—"
"You are." I choked, knowing I was interrupting his speech. He squeezed my fingers, bringing my hands closer to his face.
“That you believe that, that you can see good in me when I believed there wasn't any left, made me realize you are the good in me. You make me want to smile. Even when everything is going to pieces around us, your strength perseveres." He stopped, licking his lips and clearing his throat in an attempt to control the emotion I could see building in his eyes.
"I never thought I would find someone whose heart spoke to mine this way. And now that I have, I never want to let you go. Will you marry me?"
I couldn't contain the small sob that broke free when I tried to answer. My body was shaking so hard, I was suddenly afraid my knees would give out on me. "I…I need to…sit down."
Zane jumped up, opening the door and guiding me down the hall to our room. I sat on the edge of the bed and he knelt in front of me again, both of his hands on my knees as he looked over my face. "You okay? Do you need anything?"
I nodded, reaching for him and pulling him up to my face to kiss him. I was hiccupping, still sobbing, and I couldn't make it stop. "Y-yes. You."
"You have me," he said, running his nose up mine. "Was that yes your answer?"
I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths to stop the hiccups. "I shouldn't need to answer. You've owned my heart since the day we met. I told you I wanted to be with you forever."
"I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I will spend every day of the rest of my life thanking whatever fate it was that brought you to me." He leaned in, kissing all over my face before bending to kiss the swell of my stomach.
With a groan, I scrubbed at my cheeks, trying to dry the tears. "Stupid pregnancy hormones."
Zane chuckled. "Right. Blame the hormones."
I lifted the ring, examining it closer as he moved to sit beside me on the bed. "This will never fit my nasty sausage roll fingers." It was pathetic to pout, but it really hurt that I couldn't wear it.
"You, my beautiful girl, are currently housing our daughter inside you. Do you know how incredibly sexy that is?" Zane asked, leaning over to nip my jawline in his normal diversion tactic.
"Oh, no. Isn't it a rule that you're not supposed to have sex once you're engaged until your wedding night?" I asked, smirking as he went still beside me.
"Then marry me tonight," he said, and I laughed.
It wasn't until I saw his eyes that I knew he was serious. "What? Tonight?" He nodded and I noticed the determination. "You already have it planned, don't you?" He nodded again. "And what if I say no?"
"Then we just have a night out with our friends. But all the details have been taken care of. Do you trust me?"
I stared into his eyes without a shred of hesitation. "Completely."
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Forever
Zane
Since scheduling the C-section, things had been strained. She didn't want to take it easy, she didn't like being told she couldn't do things, and she hated having to rely on help. It made her cranky. It didn't matter. This girl was my forever and I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I may have only spent the two weeks or so planning fo
r today, but honestly, it felt like I'd spent my life preparing for it. Marrying Lizzie had been the right decision for the version of me I was at that point in my life. But I was different. I believed in love in a way I'd never imagined possible. I accepted it. I accepted this version of me Lili saw, the one who was a good man.
And so far, everything was going off without a hitch. Lili was asking constant questions, only becoming partially disgruntled when I wouldn't answer them. I had a limo to take us to the courthouse to get our marriage license before we headed to the Strip. The driver dropped us near the Ferris wheel that had recently opened near the center. Lili smiled as she looked around, seeming more excited than I'd seen in a long time.
"Where are we going?" she asked as we stood beside the limousine. Brushing her hair back from her face, she lifted her chin toward me. I leaned down, kissing her softly, unable to help myself. She was beautiful and excited, and about to become mine forever.
I pointed in the direction of the wheel and she glanced that way before looking back at me, eyes bright. "The Ferris wheel?"
"I rented one of the cabins out," I explained, still grinning at her enthusiasm.
"And everyone is coming? Are they meeting us here? Do they know about it?" she asked, practically bouncing.
I couldn't help but chuckle. "They're all meeting us here. They know I've rented out a cabin so we can all ride together, but they have no idea about the wedding. Well, aside from Tish."
"Why Tish?" she asked.
"Unless I wanted to hire a minister and give away the surprise, someone had to get ordained."
Her eyes widened. "Tish is going to marry us?"
"Yeah. Is that okay?"
"Yes." She laughed, shaking her head. "I actually think that's perfect. It's all perfect."
She started toward the entrance to the wheel, almost dragging me along, but then she stopped suddenly just a few steps away from the limo. "I need to take off the ring." She pouted looking down at it around her neck. I moved around behind her and carefully undid the clasp, handing her the chain and allowing her to remove the ring. She held it in her hand, toying with the black metal and studying it closely. When I finished clasping the necklace again, she turned to me, frowning as she held it up.
"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes falling to the ring. "If you don't like it, just tell me. We'll go together to find something else." I meant it but I hoped she wouldn't say she didn't like it. I'd spent days trying to find just the right set. These were perfect and the wedding bands were already engraved.
"No. I love it. It's beautiful," she assured me, her eyes serious. "But I just realized I don't have a ring for you."
I smiled and took the ring, sliding it into my pocket carefully. "It came as a set. Tish has both wedding bands already."
She stood up on her toes and I leaned down to kiss her once again. "You really did think of everything, didn't you?"
"I did. I wanted today to be perfect."
"And it is," she said, stepping back. "Shall we go get hitched?"
"Let's," I said, offering her my arm. Before we could actually walk away, I took the white rose offered by the driver. "Here." I turned Lili toward me again. "I didn't want to do a bouquet. It would've given it away. I think the look on their faces is going to be great." I held up the rose, the stem having already been cut so I could easily slide it into her hair. The white contrasted with her dark hair and my smile matched hers.
"You know how much I love you, right?"
I nodded, letting her loop her arm through mine again as we started winding our way through the crowd. I spotted the group of people standing to the right of the entrance before she did and slowed my pace. This was the last hurdle. This could go either way. She would either love the gesture or hate it and now that I was seeing everyone, my nerves were making me second-guess myself.
She paused as we broke through the crowd and she spotted everyone, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth. I held on to the hand on my arm, suddenly terrified she would pull away. Denni stepped forward, her eyes focused completely on Lili. I knew Lili had spoken to Denni multiple times. Denni's presence wasn't the issue. Kaitlyn stood to the side of the group, toeing the concrete, looking as nervous as I felt. While Lili made amends with Denni, I knew things with Kaitlyn were still on edge. They'd talked, explained their sides of things, and Kaitlyn wanted to come see her in person. Lili had asked for time. She'd forgiven Kaitlyn, mostly. She and I had put it behind us and she couldn't hold a grudge against Kaitlyn for something she'd forgiven me for.
I'd been working on my guilt, learning how to handle it, but the guilt I felt for the rift between Lili and Kaitlyn wasn't going away. It was my doing and I wanted to make it right.
Without releasing her hold on me, Lili started forward. She squeezed Denni's hand, but passed her, walking with purpose toward Kaitlyn. When she reached her, she didn't speak. She wrapped her free arm around her sister and pulled her in, hugging her tightly. After a moment, I released my grip on her hand. She kept her hold on me, keeping me close. I could hear their whispers, but I turned my head toward Tish as he approached.
We'd had our own mending to do after all the betrayals and lying came out, but we were better. He clapped me on the shoulder, nodding his approval. He'd been against the idea of inviting them along but left the decision up to me. After another moment, Denni moved past us and Lili did release me, giving my arm a swift squeeze before pulling her aunt into the hug. Tish and I moved aside, giving me the chance to pass off Lili's engagement ring discreetly before we headed to the rest of the group to wait.
Conner came over, seeming excited, which was a nice change. His eyes were bright as he watched the slow progression of the Ferris wheel behind us, lifting his arms to me. I bent down carefully and lifted him, letting him rest his chin on my shoulder as he watched. He was getting too big for this, but in the rare moments he showed and allowed affection, I reveled in it.
Eventually, Denni, Kaitlyn, and Lili rejoined us and we moved toward the check-in area. Since we'd rented out a private cabin, we were shown to a special entrance. Pictures were taken of our group in front of a green screen and a few minutes later, we were entering the cabin. It felt larger than I'd imagined, even with all of us inside. Everyone shifted around to the windows, looking out at the view as the sun was just beginning to set. The timing was perfect. When the cabin started to move, the excited voices came, everyone enjoying themselves as they looked out at the city. Lili squeezed my hand and I looked down at her, loving the bright smile on her face.
"You ready?" I whispered, leaning in to breathe the words against her ear. Her slight shiver was followed by an enthusiastic nod and I turned, meeting Tish's eye.
He cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention before he started to speak. "Everyone here has talked, the way large families do, about wanting to get together sometime and do something we'd never done in the city. By now, I think we've been through enough to know someday may never come if we don't step up and make it. So, today is someday."
There were smiles and murmured agreement from the family surrounding us, and Tish's smile only grew.
"Today is also a very special someday," Tish continued, those words being my cue as I guided Lili forward so we were standing in front of Tish. "As you know, our family isn't what anyone would call traditional. We do things our own way. And weddings are no different."
The silence was brief this time before gasps sounded. Tish's grin widened. "I'm supposed to start this with something like dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony… But when have I ever followed the rules? Never. Here's what I want to say instead." He looked back and forth between Lili and me for a moment. "The two of you have beaten the odds. You've fought through every obstacle placed in your path and found yourselves right back together. Right where you belong. Life is short, as we all know too well, and those things that bring us happiness need to be solidified into our lives permanently. And that'
s what we're here to do today."
He looked back and forth between us again. "Lili and Zane, your vows are a way to express your love and commitment to one another. They are your way of openly declaring your promise to each other as well as all of those who are here today. Zane, would you start?"
I nodded, swallowing the lump as I turned fully to face Lili. I took her hands in mine, holding them between us, using the moment to study the contrast of her dark hair and black dress against her light skin. She was beauty incarnate.
"Lili, there is no one in the world who knows me the way you do. You've seen me at my absolute worst, and somehow, you still love me. I've said before that I can't promise to be perfect, but I do promise to spend every single day of the rest of my life striving to be the man you see me as. No matter what comes, we'll face it together. I promise to do my best to make you smile every day, to say I love you every night, and to be there when you need me. I promise to love you faithfully, fearlessly, and forever."
"Lili," Tish said, prompting her to breathe for what seemed like the first time since we'd started. It was shaky and I realized her hands were trembling in mine. I knew when my expression turned concerned because she immediately smiled wider and shook her head, letting me know she was okay.
"Zane," she started, having to clear her throat. I realized then her shaking had more to do with emotion than anything. "Before you, I didn't understand what it was to love someone to the depth of my soul. I never thought it was possible. To me, love was a word tossed around by family—something said in passing. It was just a word." She paused, lifting her eyes from mine and blinking rapidly for a moment as she growled lightly. My grin widened. She hated that she was about to cry and I loved that about her. "You've shown me what it means to love." She looked down and I saw movement as Conner approached, his face curious. She reached out a hand, not forcing him to participate but allowing him to make the choice. He grabbed her fingers and I saw her struggling to maintain her smile. "You and Conner, the love you have for each other and the love you've both shown me has made me realize I'm capable and strong enough to handle this life. I promise to be the best wife and parent I can and to strive every day to be better. I promise to always be there for you both, as well as for our daughter." She took the hand Conner held and placed it on her stomach. I reached out and covered their hands with mine. Conner was getting better about touching the baby and I was positive he understood when we told him about her, but his expression remained guarded, yet curious. It made my heart ache a little, wishing he would speak. Lili sniffled and I looked back up at her face. "And I promise to love you faithfully, fearlessly, and forever."
