by Maegan Abel
Her repeating the vows back to me was my breaking point. I let out a small chuckle as I turned my head, wiping my face against my white shirt and ignoring the jibes from the family surrounding us. I didn't care that I was crying. Lili was too now. There was nothing to describe how I felt in this moment.
Tish pulled the rings from his pocket, handing Lili's engagement ring and band to me before passing mine to her. "I could make some speech about rings being a circle and having no end or how wedding rings are worn on the ring finger because it is the only finger with a vein that runs directly to the heart, but I won't. I'll leave all the cheesy lines for Zane."
Laughter came from the people around us and I shook my head, chuckling.
"Zane, if you'll place the rings on Lili and make your vow," Tish said. I lifted her left hand, kissing her ring finger before reaching around her neck and unclasping the necklace. There were a few chuckles and Lili stuck her tongue out at someone behind me, most likely Paige or Nikki. Once the necklace was free, I slid the rings onto the chain.
"My heart," I whispered, looking directly into Lili's eyes. I fumbled a little in my attempt to clasp the necklace without being able to see. Fuck. I'd wanted this moment to be smooth.
"Apparently, he needs to see the hole to be able to find it," Paige said sarcastically, fake coughing afterward. Soft laughter came from behind me and Lili discreetly flipped them the bird without breaking our eye contact. It made my smile even wider. When the necklace was finally on, Lili took the time to lift the rings to inspect them. I watched her tilt her head as she read the engraving.
She smiled up at me, and then looked at my ring in the palm of her hand. The same three words were on mine.
Faithfully, Fearlessly, Forever
Without waiting for Tish's direction, she lifted my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger as she looked into my eyes. "Mine, too."
The way she stared at me, the absolute love and happiness on her face, it was like nothing I'd ever seen. I almost jumped when Tish spoke, having completely forgotten we weren't finished.
"Lili and Zane, you have shown your love by exchanging your vows. You have symbolized your commitment by exchanging rings. There is only one more question for you to answer."
We broke our stare and turned to look at him. His voice was rough, his own emotion becoming obvious as he cleared his throat.
"Lili, do you take Zane to be your husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
She took a breath, trying to settle herself before she answered. "I do."
"Zane, do you take Lili to be your wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
There was no laughter now, but a lot of sniffling. I didn't look away from Lili's eyes.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Zane, you may kiss your bride."
There was no one else in the cabin—no one else in the world—as I took Lili in my arms and kissed her. I'd kissed Lili so many times over the last year, but something about this night and this kiss made all of the rest of them fade in my memory. The way her lips moved against mine, her fingers toying with the hair at the nape of my neck as she smiled. This was my heaven.
"I feel kind of guilty," Lili said, her fingers still locked in mine as we drove toward the house. She had to raise her voice to account for the metallic sound of rain against the car.
"For what?"
She sighed. "Conner didn't really seem to want to stay with Tom and Marna. I don't want him to—"
"Don't," I said, squeezing her hand to soften the blow of cutting her off. "Don't do that. Don't feel guilty because we are taking one night to ourselves to celebrate our wedding." I lifted her fingers to my lips, kissing them softly before releasing her hand. I made the final turn into our driveway and put the car in park before turning to face her. "We aren't going off for weeks to some foreign place. We're spending one completely uninterrupted night at home. We get that much."
She nodded, but her brow was still furrowed. "Hey, I'm serious. Conner will be fine with them for the night and they know how to get in touch with us if they need something."
I slipped out of the car and jogged around to open her door for her, holding up a blanket from my backseat to cover her. As we rushed toward the porch, my mind was already on how I needed to lift her so I wouldn't hurt her back. Once we were safely under the awning, I tossed the blanket over the rail.
"Don't even think about it," she said as I turned to face her after unlocking and quickly entering the code to deactivate the alarm.
"What?" I asked.
"Don't even think about trying to carry me over it, Zane. I'm almost seven months pregnant and I have back issues. It's like a recipe for disaster. Let's not bring any more hospital visits upon ourselves."
I chuckled, waving a hand toward the now open doorway to allow her to enter first. As much as I enjoyed tradition, she had a point. We didn't need to court disaster. It seemed to follow us pretty closely.
I locked the door behind us and set the alarm before pulling her into my arms. She smiled up at me, that same expression of pure love and happiness that had been on her face since the ceremony was still there.
"It feels so surreal," she whispered, running her hands up my arms to link them around my neck.
"What does?"
"This whole day. It feels like it's some sort of dream." Her face fell, closed off suddenly as she stared off at nothing.
"Lili?" I tried to lean down, put myself in her line of sight. "Hey." I cupped her cheeks, drawing her face toward mine and touching my forehead to hers. "Be here."
"It feels like I could wake up tomorrow back in that hell with all of this being some cruel, drug-induced hallucination or something," she admitted, her voice now trembling.
Since we'd gotten back together, we'd slowly gone through what happened during our time apart. I was well aware, probably more aware than I ever wanted to be, of exactly what she meant. "Stop. Be here with me. Not there, okay? You're here now."
She nodded, taking several deep breaths as I watched the color start to return to her face. "I'm here. You're right. I'm good."
"You sure?" I started guiding her toward our bedroom. "You should sit down for a minute. Do you need something to drink?"
She shook her head, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. She gave a little arch, stretching her back in a way I'd become familiar with when she was tense.
"What do you need?" I asked, wanting her to be straight with me. By now, she knew I would do whatever she needed to keep her from backsliding into depression. It was just another thing we'd learned to work through together.
"I need…" she scowled at her hands and I knew how much it was bothering her to ask for anything at all, “I just need you to hold me for a while. Is that okay? I just, I need to feel grounded."
"Absolutely," I answered, not a trace of hesitation. I knelt down and removed her shoes, kicking off my own before I climbed onto the bed, wet jeans be damned. She tugged at the long sleeved white shirt I was wearing and I pulled it off, tossing it aside and allowing her to settle against my chest.
After a while, when my own eyelids were starting to feel heavy and I'd thought she'd fallen asleep, her fingers started to glide along my chest slowly. She traced them over the tiny scar on my ribs from the surgery. After almost a year, it looked better than I thought it would. The one on my back from the entrance wound would always be worse. She leaned in, lifting on an elbow to kiss the small imperfection on my skin. Then her lips grazed upward, pressing against various spots on my chest as she worked her way up to my neck. I groaned softly, unable to find it in me to care. There had always been something beyond sexy about Lili, but her ability to still willingly initiate intimacy between us, even after everything she'd been through, was incredibly hot.
"I need my husband to make love to me," she
whispered, her lips finding mine. She hovered over me, only her stomach and lips making contact. I smiled widely.
"I would be more than happy to accommodate my wife in that request," I said, my hands slipping up her arms and around her back. I carefully tugged on the zipper at the back of her dress and pulled it down.
She sat back on her heels then, hesitating at the point of removing her dress. I knew that face and where her already dark thoughts were trying to take her. I wouldn't let her fall.
"You," I said, sitting up and tugging at the hem of her dress. She allowed me to start lifting it and I paused when her stomach was exposed. "Are the most beautiful…” I pressed a kiss against the top of her bump before pushing the fabric higher, “woman in the world."
"You're ridiculous," she replied immediately after she'd pulled her arms and hair free of the dress.
"Possibly, but that has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. You're carrying my child. And you're my wife," I said, both hands now resting against one part of her body that made her self-conscious. It was easier to deal with this one. It would be gone soon enough. The scars littering her skin would last longer.
I reached up, unclasping her bra and freeing her breasts. She'd been an average size before she'd gotten pregnant, definitely nothing to complain about, but now…hell, I couldn't keep my eyes or my hands off them most days.
"I swear, I'm going to chop them off and give them to you since you're so enamored by them," Lili said, the playful edge returning to her voice. I didn't even bother to look away from them to answer.
"But if you did that, I wouldn't get to hear the sound you make when I do this," I said, leaning in and sucking hard on one nipple. The sound I'd been referring to, something between a gasp and a moan, escaped her mouth and was a direct command to my cock. I was already hard, but anytime I heard that, it became almost painful. "Fuck. I think I'd cry if I couldn't hear you make that sound anymore."
She let out a shaky laugh, allowing me to move her to her back as my fingers tugged gently at the last piece of clothing she was wearing. As soon as the pixie tattoo was visible, I pressed my lips against it, feeling her fingers slide over my head. I kissed lower, moving my lips down slowly, teasing her until I reached her clit. I worked slowly, taking my time and kissing every spot around it, running my tongue up to it, keeping her waiting. She never once complained. Finally, I gently ran my tongue in a circle around it, moving back and forth in a slow pattern, building. I was careful, making sure not to hold her hips in place so I wouldn't hurt her back. I moved a free hand down and slid two fingers inside her. Her warmth made me groan as I nearly started dry humping the damn bed. Between the taste of her and the feel of her on my fingers, I almost couldn't stand it. But I fucking loved it.
"I need you, Zane," she whispered, and it was more than enough for me. I slipped off the bed, kicking off the remainder of my clothing under her lustful gaze.
We'd done little in the way of creative positions since getting back together. Between her back and the baby, it was just safer to stick with the basics. I slid back up her body, kissing and nipping my way up her torso until my hips rested against hers. With the way our bodies aligned, the familiar feelings were already buzzing.
"I'm yours completely. You know that, right?" I asked, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips before sitting back on my heels again. I reached for her and she let me pull her to a sitting position.
"I love you. So much," she said, her small smile in place.
I guided her forward, shifting us so my back was against the headboard and she straddled my lap. She smirked, leaning in to kiss me. "Planning to make me do all the work?"
"Giving you the control," I conceded, running my hands up her thighs. "Plus, keeping my hand free."
She hummed and slid forward, pressing the warmth and wetness of the flesh I'd already been teasing against me in a way that was all too familiar. I groaned and dropped my head back. "Oh, not again. I don't think I can take it."
She giggled, an honest to God happy sound, and my heart melted as my cock seemed to harden further from her movements. She didn't tease long before she lifted herself and positioned my cock before taking me in completely. We both inhaled sharply and my hands moved to grip her waist. Our bodies had the same reaction they always did when we were together—mine trying to make this embarrassingly short and hers…well, hers being fucking perfect.
She slid her hands up into my hair and my fingers loosened, allowing her to move. We easily found our rhythm, our bodies having long since learned exactly what the other needs. Her eyes stayed on mine and I slid one hand up, wrapping the chain of her necklace around my fingers to hold onto her wedding ring before placing my hand over her heart. Her eyes teared up and she lifted my hand just long enough to kiss the black band around my left ring finger.
I lifted the thumb of my other hand to my mouth, enjoying that she watched the movement carefully as I wet my finger. Sliding my hand down, I pressed my thumb against her clit firmly, drawing a scream from her I'd never heard before as I jumped right into fast circles. Her muscles tightened quickly and I gritted my teeth as I held back my orgasm, waiting for her. Everything low in my stomach knotted and my spine tingled. Just when I thought I couldn't hold on, she cried out, tightening almost painfully around my cock and bringing me straight into my own blinding pleasure.
My hands gripped her around the shoulders as her body slumped against me, both of us panting. I had to blink several times before the white spots finally cleared from my vision. My body was relaxed, blissfully comfortable as my hands rubbed gently along Lili's back.
After a few minutes, she began to squirm, pulling away from my touch. My brow furrowed as she slipped off my lap, keeping her head down. Red tinged her neck and cheek for only a moment before her head turned and her hair blocked my view.
"Lili?" I asked, reaching out for her. She didn't shy away from my touch, allowing me to grab her hand.
"It's fine. I'm fine," she said, squeezing my fingers and starting to pull away. "I just need to get dressed."
That word. Fine. I knew what it meant.
"Hey." I tugged her hand, not releasing when she tried to free herself. "Stop it. Talk to me." When she kept her head down but didn't turn away, I realized the problem. In the time we'd been back together, she hadn’t spent much time naked in front of me, and I’d had my hands on her back. "Lili, look at me." I waited her out, giving her time to talk herself into it.
"Really, I'm—”
"Don't say you're fine. We both know that's a problem." I moved to my knees, scooting closer to her. "Do you remember telling me how much you hated the scar on my back?" She nodded, a small crease appearing just between her eyes. "I could tell you I hate the scars on your back, too. I could, but I don't hate them." Her confusion turned to shock. "I don't hate your scars any more than I hate mine. For the same reason. My scar reminds me you're safe, alive. Your scars…" I paused when she flinched. "Your scars prove just how strong you are. And just how much you love Conner and me. You almost gave your life for it. But you survived. You survived something most people never make it out of, and you're healing." I took her cheeks in my hands, brushing away the few tears trickling down. "You're able to love fiercely, you're having a baby, you managed to find the beauty in intimacy. You're incredible." My voice held all of the awe I felt when I thought about this woman.
"Thank you," she whispered, leaning in to put her head against my shoulder. I kissed her hair, repositioning us carefully so she was laying against my chest again.
The sound of her breathing evened out soon after, the day having exhausted her, no doubt. I stayed awake, listening to the rain beat against the roof as I traced every scar I could reach on her back. I still couldn't figure out how I'd gotten lucky enough to have everything I could've ever wanted in life, but I was grateful for it.
Chapter Forty
Rain Falls
Lili
The sound of ringing jarred me awake and I gasped as th
e tiny fighter in my uterus protested the surprise. Running my hand along my stomach, I slipped off the bed, searching clumsily for Zane's phone as the ringing stopped. He didn't move, still sound asleep as I finally found his jeans on the floor, the phone still in his pocket. I pulled it out as it started ringing again, Brittany's name flashing on the screen.
Any blissful wedding feelings still lingering drained away. It wasn't even four in the morning, why the hell was she calling him? I knew I had two choices. I could play the jealous wife card and answer or ignore the call and silence his phone. I looked up at my sleeping husband and couldn't help but smile. No. I didn't need to be jealous. He was mine. He married me.
I ran my finger across the screen, answering the call. "Brittany, hang on a second. He's asleep."
"Oh. Lili. Hi," she said, sounding somewhat shocked. I smiled. Whatever it was she wanted, it didn't matter. It wouldn't change a thing between Zane and me.
I walked over to the bed, crawling up and kissing along Zane's jaw. "Hey. Wake up. Phone's for you," I said, continuing until one eye squinted open.
