The Kissing Booth #2

by Beth Reekles

  Noah sighed, the sound broken, and he ran a hand back and forth through his already tousled hair, making it stick out even more. “I didn’t think you wanted me to call.”

  Of course I wanted you to call! I wanted you to call and I wanted you to tell me you missed me and tell me how much you loved me and tell me I’d made a mistake in breaking up with you!

  Instead, what I said was “If you followed me to the park to talk to me, why didn’t you talk to me? Why did you leave?”

  He scoffed, almost scornful, but he couldn’t hide the hurt expression on his face. “You’re really asking me that? I thought you two were just friends. You told me you weren’t interested in him like that. Told Lee, too. I wasn’t convinced when you kept sharing photos and stuff with him, and when I saw that photo of you guys at the dance…But Lee told me. ‘Nothing going on,’ he said. Looks like you’re making a habit of lying to him about guys you like.”

  My jaw clenched, teeth grinding. I could feel the muscles in my face twitching, not sure which expression to settle on. I was breathing hard, trembling all over, but that had nothing to do with the chill in the air.

  “You have no right to…to say that to me. It shouldn’t matter to you anymore if I am dating Levi, but just FYI I’m not. I asked him to meet me because I needed a friend, and not Lee, for once. I kissed him. So what? It was a stupid decision but it was my decision to make. And anyway, what about you and Amanda? You didn’t think to tell me you were bringing her home for Thanksgiving.”

  “You’re…not dating him.”

  “No,” I said, more softly, some of the tension in my shoulders easing. “I’m not.”

  “Well, what was I supposed to think when I saw you two all over each other, Elle?”

  “Well, what was I supposed to think when I saw all those pictures of you and Amanda, and then you bring her home for Thanksgiving? You could’ve told me. You could’ve at least told me you two weren’t dating.”

  “I did! And you didn’t want to hear it!”

  “Did you really expect me to believe you when you brought her home for Thanksgiving?”

  “She’s British! She was going to be all alone for the holidays. It had nothing to do with you!” he shouted, and I was shocked into silence. “I didn’t realize that me having a good female friend was such a big deal, so when you broke up with me out of the blue like that, I thought there had to be someone else. Especially when you and Lee are so close. Honestly? I thought you’d be the last person to get jealous of me being friends with another girl.”

  I was suddenly breathless.

  And had never felt like more of an idiot.

  “What did you expect me to think, after you broke up with me? I thought you were just looking for an excuse. I thought there was someone else. I knew you and Levi were getting close, and when I saw the photos from Sadie Hawkins, and when I saw you two last night—” Noah broke off with a sigh, dragging a hand through his hair and making it stick up on end. His forehead was lined, his eyes shining and sad and desperate, and it made my heart ache. We’d both been such idiots.

  “I can’t believe you thought I’d broken up with you to be with Levi.”

  “You kissed him.”

  “Because I was trying to get over you! And it didn’t work! It was stupid and I regretted it as soon as it happened. I thought maybe there was something, but…” I shook my head. “There was never anybody else, Noah. There still isn’t. We broke up because we couldn’t trust each other.”

  “I trust you!” He reached out as if to grab my shoulders, then my hands, then dropped his hands to his sides, before shoving them in the pockets of his hoodie instead, where the Skittles packet crinkled. “I’ve never not trusted you. But I was never good enough for you. I was never the right guy, and I was terrified the whole time that we were together that the right guy would come along, and I felt like I was just waiting for you to realize that, and to see that the right guy for you isn’t me. And…”

  “And what?”

  “And I loved you too much to let you go,” he said quietly, looking up at me from under his eyelashes. His eyes looked unnaturally bright blue in the shadows. “I still do.”

  I sucked in my lower lip, biting it hard. Why, why did I feel like crying? Why were my eyes prickling and my throat itching like I was about to sob? Just because he’d said he loved me.

  He still loved me.

  But I had questions. The fact that he loved me—and that I still loved him—didn’t change anything right now.

  “You let me think something was going on with you and Amanda.”

  He shrugged one shoulder. “I was jealous. I was mad. It hurt me, Elle, when you broke up with me. You flipped out so much over her, I thought…I didn’t think you’d get it. That we were just friends.”

  “I flipped out because you were keeping secrets from me. That phone call I overheard—if it wasn’t about you being with Amanda, what the hell was it about?”

  Noah blushed, looking distressed. He shifted from foot to foot and ran a hand through his hair again. Now he looked like the one on the verge of crying.

  As angry as I was, and had been, it fell away in an instant.

  “Noah?” I said softly, reaching out to touch his arm impulsively. He jumped when I did, and we sprang apart like we’d been electrocuted.

  “I was failing some of my classes,” he said finally. “I was going to get kicked off the football team. I was stressed. I wasn’t getting good grades as easily as I did in high school, which stressed me out so much it affected my work. Amanda was helping me a lot. She knew, because she’d see the grades I got in class or in our lab. I was too embarrassed to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I was…stupid. I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

  And suddenly everything made sense.

  It made so much sense, especially given that he’d told me all about how he’d put so much pressure on himself at school before he’d built up his bad-boy persona. I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t even considered it before.

  “You shouldn’t have been embarrassed to tell me,” I said quietly. “I wouldn’t have thought you were stupid. I don’t. I just wish you’d told me.”

  “Would it have made a difference?”

  “Yes!” I exclaimed, and then I checked myself. I didn’t want to wake anybody up. I blinked a few more times but a tear spilled over. I took a second to try and steady my voice.

  “Noah, I…Before we broke up, it felt like you were hardly talking to me. You kept avoiding talking to me about classes, and it felt like you were cutting me out of your life. Like I didn’t belong in it anymore. I get it now, but I didn’t know, and that scared me. I thought we were drifting apart and that you didn’t love me so much anymore, and…when you wouldn’t talk to me about that call, of course I thought you had something going on with Amanda. It was the only thing that made sense.”

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and I was shocked to see him crying. Actual tears hanging on his lower lashes. One of them splashed onto his cheek. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. About college, about Amanda. I knew there was nothing going on with you and Levi but I started convincing myself that there might’ve been after we broke up, and last night I…”

  Noah trailed off when I stepped closer.

  “You’re such an idiot, Noah Flynn.”

  He chuckled, and I brought my hand to his face, running my thumb across the tear track on his cheek.

  “But you’re my idiot.”

  I didn’t kiss him. I waited, every one of my nerves coiled and ready to spring.

  And when he kissed me, I ignited.

  His lips were tender and insistent against mine, his arms wrapping around me tight, his hair soft through my fingers.

  I thought I’d remembered what it was like to kiss him, but those
memories were pale imitations of the real thing. And I’d been right to think that kissing Noah was just so much more than kissing Levi. I felt like I was burning up from the inside out, in the best way possible. My fingertips trailed over his face and back through his hair and down his arms, and I was sure I’d never felt more alive than I did while kissing him.

  When we stopped, I clung to him, and he didn’t loosen his hold on me.

  “I love you,” he whispered, the words rushing out as though he couldn’t say them fast enough, the look in his eyes so intense it was like the words didn’t mean enough. “I fucked up. I should’ve just talked to you. I know that. I messed everything up. I just got so scared of losing you that I made things worse.”

  I managed a laugh. “That was why I broke up with you. Because I was scared that you’d find someone better and forget about me, and I couldn’t lose you like that. I got scared and made things worse.”

  Noah chuckled, the sound soft and breathy, tickling my nose. I closed my eyes, pressing my head into his shoulder and inhaling deeply. He still smelled the same. Still felt the same. He was still my Noah.

  Dragging my head back up from his shoulder, I stepped back so that I could see him properly. “I’m still in love with you, too, Noah Flynn. Just, you know. In case you were wondering.”

  “So…”

  “So.”

  He kissed me; this time, just a lingering peck on the lips. Even that made my heart do somersaults. “If you still don’t want to be together, I get it. I understand. It’s horrible being away from you and I miss you all the damn time. I don’t want to be with anyone except you. But if you find it too hard, then I get it. Just tell me.”

  “I think…”

  Oh, God. What did I think? I missed Noah so much while he was at college, but…

  But however hard I’d tried, I hadn’t been able to get over him, not even a little tiny bit.

  I didn’t want to lose him, but maybe I’d done the right thing by breaking up with him, in case this didn’t work, in case we were just wasting our time…

  Only, looking at Noah, I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time. Standing in his arms, I felt like I was right where I wanted to be. I grinned at him.

  “I think we can make it work.”

  Chapter 25

  Noah kissed my nose for the billionth time. Mmm, he smelled so good. “I’ll be back after my exams for Christmas. Not even a month away. It’ll fly by.”

  “It better.” I kissed him again. We were making up for weeks and weeks of missing out. Last night, he’d come inside and we’d talked for a while longer about everything. We talked until we fell asleep on the couch, with me drifting off first, Noah’s fingers running through my hair and his arms tucked tight around me.

  I could feel how much he loved me. How could I have ever doubted him or thought there was anybody else?

  My dad had woken us up around eight, not looking overly surprised to find Noah in the house when he’d come downstairs to make breakfast, and just said, “What do you kids want for breakfast? You’d better head back home soon, Noah. You’ll have to leave for the airport in a while.”

  Once Noah had left, I’d explained everything to my dad, who’d sighed and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I like Noah—he’s a good, smart kid, and I know you’re in love with him—but I did like Levi.”

  Now we stood on the Flynns’ driveway, but this didn’t feel as bad as it had in the summer when he’d left for college. His fingers ran absently up and down my arm, and I tried to memorize every freckle on his face. He’d shaved this morning, his cheek smooth under my hand.

  God, I’d missed him so much.

  Amanda came out of the house then and grinned at us. “You see, Noah? I told you that you’d work things out.” To me, she said, “And I’m so glad that you did. He was miserable without you. He was always moping around. It was making the rest of us feel shitty, too. I’m not even joking.”

  I laughed, breaking away from Noah for a moment to face Amanda. “I’m really sorry if I was horrible to you when you got here.”

  She waved a hand, a silver ring on her middle finger catching the light, and beamed at me. “Don’t mention it. I’d have done the same in your place. But you weren’t horrible. Or rude, or anything.”

  Then, before I could reply, she threw her arms around me and said, “Ooh, it was so great to meet you!”

  “You too,” I said, surprised to find I really meant it as I hugged her back.

  Then she went back to the house, where we could hear her thanking June again for having her to stay and making her feel so welcome, and Noah kissed the side of my head, pulling me back into his side.

  “I’ll call you later, when I’m back at the dorms.”

  “Okay.”

  “And I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.”

  “Maybe I can come out to Boston, to see you, after Christmas?”

  “Maybe you could look at some colleges out there,” he said, and even though his tone was playful, his eyes were serious, hopeful. I kissed him by way of reply, rising up on my tiptoes and clutching at the front of his jacket.

  “All right, lovebirds, break it up. That plane will leave without you,” Matthew announced, clapping his hands and shutting the trunk of the car. Amanda came out of the house with her oversized purse and said a last thank you to June, and Noah gave me one more kiss.

  Lee stood next to me as we waved them off, and it felt weirdly like it had in the summer, when we’d watched Noah’s plane take off. But it felt better than that; more peaceful, more comfortable. This time we knew exactly what we were in for with the long-distance thing. And we were determined to make it work.

  Lee sighed, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “I still can’t believe you made out with Levi.”

  “I’ll tell everyone I know what a snotty mess you were over Marley and Me if you breathe a word to anyone. And don’t forget about the bra story, either. I’ll tell your buddies on the football team, too.”

  Lee nudged me in the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, I’m not telling. That doesn’t mean I don’t still find it hilarious.”

  “It’s not funny. God.”

  “It really kind of is.”

  * * *

  • • •

  When I caught up with Levi in the parking lot on Monday morning, he didn’t bring up our kiss at all—he just grinned at me knowingly and said, “I see you’ve changed your relationship status again.”

  “I have.”

  “Tell all.”

  And he sounded so genuinely interested—so genuinely happy for me—I relaxed. I’d been worried about seeing him again, even if things were normal between us over text, but everything really was exactly like it had been before. (Only now I wasn’t wondering about kissing him, or wondering if we had any chemistry, or if I wanted to date him. I knew for sure where my heart lay now.)

  So I told him all about how Noah had come by in the middle of the night, how cut up he was about the breakup, how we’d cleared the air.

  “I’m really happy for you,” Levi said, and he genuinely was; I could tell by his smile. “But don’t look now—I think there are a couple of girls heading our way who want you to spill the beans, too.”

  I looked around to see the girls who were walking toward me. Levi had ducked away from my side by the time the girls reached me. Lisa was grinning almost manically, and Rachel grabbed my hand.

  “We want to hear everything!”

  I was going to be in for a very long morning.

  But I wasn’t the only one with good news: Dixon couldn’t stop smiling. He’d had this stupid grin on his face all day long, but I didn’t get the chance to ask him about it until we all sat down for lunch.

  “Oh, come on,” I said, throwing a fry at him. “You can’t be that happy for me that things worked o
ut with Noah. Spill.”

  Dixon blushed. Bright pink. And then he bit his lip. “Um, well…it’s, I mean, it’s no big deal, but…it kind of is, though, like…”

  “Jesus Christ. At this rate, we still won’t know by Christmas. Come on, man, spit it out.” Warren laughed, and Dixon seemed to be steeling himself for something. He looked all serious for a second, before his face split into another huge smile.

  “Danny asked me to be his boyfriend. You know, officially. So…yeah.”

  “Ohmigod,” I said.

  “No way,” said Rachel.

  “I didn’t realize you two were so much of a thing,” said Warren, while Olly started belting out “Love Is in the Air,” and Lee and Lisa pitched in with “doo-doo-doo.”

  Dixon shrugged, looking down, still with that big, goofy smile on his face. I shared a look with Rachel, and we both had to bite back giggles. I didn’t think any of us had ever seen Dixon looking so giddy.

  “Well, yeah, I mean, I didn’t want to make a big thing of it, but we’ve been on a few dates, and…I really like him.”

  “That’s so great, man,” Lee chimed in, their singsong done now.

  “Yeah, we’re really happy for you,” said Levi.

  “As long as we’re sharing good news,” said Cam, “I finally sent off my college applications. I know it’s not exactly on the same scale, but I finally hauled ass and did it.”

  “Jeez, what’s with all the good karma everywhere?” Warren laughed. “And when is it coming my way?”

  * * *

  • • •

  A week before school let out for Christmas vacation, I was hanging out with Levi. We were baking cookies with Becca. They were supposed to be for the bake sale at her school tomorrow, but she kept sneaking them almost as fast as we could make them. Then his mom had called to ask if we could bake extra so she could take them into work.

  As I helped Becca press the gingerbread-man cookie cutter into the mixture, and Levi whipped up another batch, the front door opened and closed.

  “Hey, kids,” Levi’s dad called.