A Body Displaced (Lansin Island 2)

by Andrew Butcher

  While she sat there, she thought about Sandra leaving. I’ll have to hire someone. That wasn’t much of a problem; in fact, she enjoyed the interview process. But then she considered not hiring anyone for the time being, and covering the hours herself. It would be nice to become absorbed in the running of the café again. She only wished her other dramas would disappear already.

  After Nick had dropped her home the night before, she locked every door and window, burnt the scarf in her woodburner, and then rang Susan to find out how her gran was doing and to see if her parents had visited her yet. Apparently Lillian had been more energetic in the evening, having rested, but there was no sight of Juliet’s parents.

  When that was all done, she had cleaned up her gran’s vomit and the smashed vase, and then researched online how to repair the hole Austin had stabbed in the wall. She didn’t have the required materials, though, so she left the job for another time. She had tried to sleep but was hardly tired. With the frustrating plan of waiting and doing nothing, she wanted to simply get on with her life.

  Then an idea came to her.

  At the witch’s house, nobody had thought of the obvious: Juliet had Austin’s mobile number. So last night, without telling anyone, she decided on her own plan. She would call him and make an offer. If he agreed to leave Nicolas and her alone and to set Kerra free and return her body, Juliet would pay him off. She had no idea what they’d do with Kerra’s corpse, but figured the half-elf would help them with that when he returned. Eager to resolve it all, she rang him.

  The number had been disconnected.

  With her hasty plan dashed, there was little choice but to call it a night. However, she remained awake for hours, inventing house chores to pass the time.

  Today at mid-afternoon, she explained to her staff that she was leaving early to visit Lillian.

  ‘Juliet, before you go,’ said Roy, pulling something out from behind the counter, ‘you give this to Lillian for us.’ It was a ‘Get Well Soon’ card.

  Ashleigh, after delivering a drink to a customer, scurried over and said, ‘I made Roy go and buy it on his lunch break. We’ve all signed it and I signed for Charlie, too!’ She smiled and bounced around on the spot like she was about to explode.

  Roy chuckled. ‘I had planned on buying one today anyway,’ he explained in his strong accent, and turned to Ashleigh with a comical glare.

  Nobody mentioned Sandra’s leaving, but Juliet assumed they all knew by now. A flutter of warmth ran through her when she looked at the card. ‘Thank you all for this; Gran will really appreciate it.’

  They all gave their wishes again, before Juliet left and headed to the nearest bus stop.

  Her ride to Amiton General Hospital was full of thought, and the avoidance of it. She wanted to block out everything to do with Austin, the Otherworld, immortality, the missing children, and supernatural beings, and focus on ‘reality’ instead—putting her life back in order and caring for her gran.

  During her routine jog this morning, she had realised one of the reasons she used to love running was because it was a good blueprint for the road to success; getting started was easy, and then came the struggle (where some runners would ‘hit the wall’), but to succeed required perseverance. Of course now, because of her displacement, she could sprint for hours and never hit the wall. The metaphor still related to Chanton Hillview, though. After first setting up, there’d been a tough period, but Juliet kept at it and made it work.

  This is just the tough period, she told herself. I lost my confidence and let my life slip, but I’ll push through again. I’ll have the life I want.

  ‘How wonderful of them,’ said Lillian, her teary eyes inspecting the contents of the card. ‘You are so very lucky to have such a lovely team.’ She sounded stronger than yesterday, but still occasionally winced and paused for breath while speaking. ‘Please tell them I said thank you.’

  ‘I will.’ Juliet took the card gently and placed it on the bedside table. Outside it was miserable, the sky grey and dark, making Juliet wonder if no view at all would be better than a window on a day like this. She drew her attention back to the hospital ward.

  Lillian was acting strangely. Every now and then she would stare pensively at nothing, and Juliet had to draw back her attention. ‘Are you okay, Gran?’

  Slowly, Lillian lifted a wrinkled hand and reached it out to her granddaughter. Her eyes became heavy. ‘I should speak with you about something.’

  Juliet moved closer to the bed and held Lillian’s hand. It was warmer than she expected, the skin surprisingly soft. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Do you remember I told you I have always tried not to do bad to others and that I had never been attacked in all my years?’

  ‘Yes …’

  ‘That was how I believed it worked. You know the saying: What goes around comes back around.’

  Hearing the phrase aloud annoyingly brought Beyoncé’s “Best Thing I Never Had” to Juliet’s mind. She had to push the tune aside, anticipating this conversation to be a serious one. ‘Gran. If you’re about to suggest that you deserved this, then—’

  ‘Sweetheart, you should listen to what I have to say first.’

  That shut her up.

  ‘What I’m trying to say is …’ Lillian paused. Her body shook slightly with a deep inhale. ‘I haven’t been entirely honest with you.’

  No, thought Juliet, dread spreading throughout her. No more lies. Everyone has been lying to me. Mum. Dad. Austin. Tamara … Please not you, Gran. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘To do with your mother, the reasons we have such a difficult relationship.’ Lillian turned away. ‘I … I made myself appear more innocent in all of it than I am, when truly, I should have told you this when I first came back into your life.’

  Juliet bit the inside of her cheek by accident. Her eyes became hot. Feeling conscious of other patients in the ward, she glanced around, but luckily there was enough privacy. ‘Should have told me what?’

  ‘I’m not your biological grandmother.’

  Time seemed to pause. Juliet was expecting a sense of shock to hit her, but it didn’t. She stood motionless, confused. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘I didn’t give birth to your mother. To be quite frank, I’m surprised you have never mentioned how dissimilar we look.’

  Why would I think of that? she reasoned. You’re her mother … that’s what you both told me. Why would I ever question it? Juliet’s head began to hurt, as rare as it was for her these days. ‘Who is my biological grandmother, then?’

  ‘She’s dead. She died giving birth to your mother.’

  Juliet moved away from Lillian swiftly, dropping her hand. She heard her gran gasp with emotion. Why is this happening? She paced, unable to understand why no one had ever told her this.

  ‘Sweetheart …’ said Lillian, her voice a thread.

  ‘No.’ Juliet said the word too loud, and closed her eyes and tried to calm down. ‘You need to explain yourself. I thought you were my granddad’s only partner … There are pictures of you two together before my mother was born. Why would he have a child with someone else?’

  ‘Because … I couldn’t have children.’

  ‘You were infertile?’

  Lillian didn’t answer, and somehow that meant yes. Although Juliet wasn’t looking at her gran, she heard her cry softly, and through her tears she said, ‘We made use of a surrogate mother. It was quite taboo back then, and still is somewhat today. But it was all the worse when the surrogate died during childbirth. She was who we named your mother after; her name was Evelyn.’

  Juliet pivoted on the spot and returned her eyes to Lillian. It still didn’t all make sense. Her gran gazed out at the morbid clouds, a tear-soaked face full of shame. ‘Okay. So you’re not my mum’s biological mother, but why would my mum have such a problem with that?’

  ‘We … we didn’t tell her at first, thinking her too young, and when we did we picked the wrong time. We told her in her teen years when sh
e was very headstrong. She was already a daddy’s girl, but immediately she treated me differently. Your grandfather consoled me, telling me she would grow out of it, but she never did. In her late teens she met your father, Adam, and began courting him. At first she would show him off, as if to show how much more she cared for him than she did for me. Then of course your grandfather died before your parents were even married. You would have thought his death would bring my daughter and me closer, but it pushed us further apart.’ Lillian’s voice kept cracking. ‘After she married your father, they moved to Amiton together, and we barely spoke for a long time. Then she had you …’ Lillian said it as if Juliet were the Saviour or something; she looked to her granddaughter with adoration in her wet, bloodshot eyes. ‘I worked my way back into your mother’s life so that I could be in yours.’

  With too much to process, Juliet walked away for a second. She took a plastic chair from a stack provided for visitors and brought it to the side of Lillian’s bed. Again and again she went to say something, but stopped each time. Eventually, she came out with, ‘So she doesn’t see you as her real mother?’

  ‘No. She does not.’

  ‘You said you made the mistake of telling her the truth at the wrong time … maybe too early, maybe too late. You realise you’ve made that mistake again.’ Juliet couldn’t help sounding edgy. ‘You should have told me this before.’

  Lillian’s faced tensed proudly for a second, but then she winced and burst into sobbing. Juliet’s natural instincts wanted to give comfort. She overrode them, biting down on her emotions.

  ‘I … I know … I should have …’ Lillian pushed her words out. ‘It hurts to cry …’

  Seeing her gran in physical pain, Juliet sucked up her pride. ‘I don’t want you to be upset. I just can’t believe you kept this from me. You made me believe you had done nothing wrong … You made it look like my mother’s behaviour was completely unfounded.’

  Lillian sniffed up the last of her tears. ‘I know I did. I shouldn’t have.’

  ‘Is there anything else you’re not telling me? I’m guessing the rest of what happened is as you told me before: My parents won the lottery, you felt they were neglecting my emotional needs, they thought you were interfering, and that led to you and my mother having arguments … and eventually she kicked you out of our lives.’

  ‘Yes,’ she answered weakly. ‘We argued over many things, though, like your grandfather’s possessions, who should have what and why.’

  ‘There’s something I still don’t understand. If my mum’s problems are with you, then why does she treat me the way she does?’

  Lillian took her time to answer. ‘I don’t think it’s just you. The only two people I ever saw my daughter open up to were her father, when he was alive, and your father. She may have changed over the years while I was out of all your lives, but I don’t think she has, from what I saw of her the other day. You tell me: Does she have other relationships?’

  Within ten seconds or so, Juliet had recalled all of her mother’s friends she knew of. Most of them lived on Lansin Island, but, thinking about it, they always seemed more like shopping-and-gossip friends than anything else. Juliet doubted these people visited her parents much in Marbella, except to get free holidays. Maybe her mum had built meaningful relationships in Spain, but Juliet found it hard to imagine.

  Then Juliet dwelt on her own friendships. There were people from school and college she could happily contact and spend time with, but no one she felt as strong a connection with as Kim. I’m like my mother, she worried, horrified. I let hardly anybody in, and the ones I do I lie to. She saw Austin’s face, up close in bed, and felt nauseated. I let myself get close to him … After not dating for so long, it should have been Nicolas she took her chances on. Yeah, he lied too, but like the ones Juliet told, they were to protect people. At least he didn’t kill and rape …

  ‘Sweetheart,’ Lillian caught her attention. ‘I’m afraid there’s more I need tell you. And it may be … hard for you to take.’

  ‘Okay.’ Juliet sat up tense in her chair.

  ‘You know that I visited the surgery the other day? Well, the GP was going to refer me for examination. But now he does not need to.’ She looked down at her hands, rubbing one with the other, and flinched at the pain of her movement. ‘When the doctor here told you yesterday that I wished to speak with you, it was because I was going to tell you then. I couldn’t though. I was weak. I did not feel ready.’

  Just tell me! Juliet shouted in her head.

  ‘He gave me some bad news. When they ran tests before the operation, they discovered a tumour on my hip bone.’ Her face crinkled as she mumbled, ‘Cancer.’

  The shock wiped Juliet’s mind clear for a moment. As it did, she felt the sudden presence of many spirits: a dead audience seeming to taunt, It’s okay, she’ll be with us soon … Your only true mother will leave you for us. She needed to repel them. She forced her eyes shut and repeated her mantra until the buzz of the spirits was gone. A new and unwelcome mantra took its place: Cancer. Cancer. Cancer.

  ‘Cancer?’ her voice came out weaker than expected. She got out of her seat and stood by Lillian, putting a hand on top of hers.

  ‘The doctor told me they were able to remove the tumour during the operation. But he believes it may have gone unnoticed for a long time. It is rare, he said, but sometimes happens. He believes it’s why I fractured the bone easily, not because of my age.’ Juliet watched her gran while she spoke; Lillian stared emptily ahead from time to time, then gave her glistening eyes to her granddaughter. ‘Me taking up yoga classes may explain why the pain only came recently, after the tumour going unnoticed for so long.’

  ‘How serious is it, then?’

  ‘The usual prognosis is five years, he told me. But they successfully removed the tumour. The problem is that the cancer may have spread.’ She stopped and sucked in air suddenly. Juliet gripped her gran’s hand tighter. ‘I’m fine, sweetheart.’

  You’re not fine … ‘What treatment is there?’

  Lillian appeared to inspect Juliet’s face. ‘This is why I didn’t want to tell you. You are worrying too much.’ Juliet said nothing, waiting for an answer. ‘First they will run further tests … but I don’t really know. If it has spread, then I suspect there could be more surgery at some point. Maybe chemo ... radiotherapy … I’m unsure, sweetheart.’ Her gaze gently fell.

  ‘Gran. You’ll be fine.’ Gran? Is she my gran? Juliet felt compelled to add, ‘I promise.’

  Lillian gave a brief smile. ‘I have been thinking about it since the doctor spoke with me. If it has spread, I will be refusing treatment …’

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘I knew a lady, back in Bath, who underwent cancer treatment. In the end it didn’t work, and she regretted it. Before she passed, she told me how she wished she had spent that time, and the energy she wasted on hope, on enjoying the last moments of her life.’ A tear had run down from one of Lillian’s eyes, wetting her cheek. ‘I am not saying treatment isn’t right for some people. But it is not for me. I’ve had a good life. I have loved, and married twice. And now I am blessed with the chance to know my granddaughter.’ She gave Juliet’s hand a squeeze.

  Juliet could barely think for a time. She fixed her eyes on nothing in particular. Her body buzzed with a ridiculous amount of energy, but her heart was sad and heavy. When her mind finally straightened itself out, she considered her gran’s words. Whatever Lillian decided regarding treatment, Juliet would respect her decision. She was sure they would discuss it some more, but she also knew how she would want to be treated if it were her.

  ‘I’m feeling tired again,’ said Lillian.

  But Juliet had more to address. ‘Does my mum know?’

  ‘No. The hospital only alerted her about the surgery, because I think in my shocked state I gave them permission to contact next of kin. They would not have told her about the tumour, though. The doctor only told me about it yesterday.’

  �
�I need to tell Mum and Dad about this.’ Juliet gave a curt nod. ‘They should see you.’

  ‘No, sweet—’

  ‘Gran.’ Juliet shook her head. ‘I’m telling them. After everything that’s been hidden from me, I want to clear it all up for good. You owe this to me.’ She was close to crying, but pushed through. A tough period, just need to persevere.

  Lillian closed her eyes and sank her head into the pillow. ‘Yes … you’re right.’ Her hands weakened under Juliet’s. As she drifted off to sleep, she mumbled, ‘I am so sorry for everything …’

  Juliet leaned over and kissed her gran’s forehead. She left the hospital swiftly. On her way out she tried to come to grips with her feelings; she wasn’t entirely annoyed at her gran, but wished she’d known everything sooner. Repeatedly, she asked herself, Why should I be given immortality and my gran cancer?

  When she got back home she rang her mother, spilling everything over the phone. A few times her mum was so confrontational that Juliet thought she’d get nowhere. But she pushed on through, and pushed, and pushed. For a while they argued over why Juliet was never told about the surrogate. Mrs Maystone’s answer was: ‘You didn’t need to know, sweetie.’ It took a lot of restraint for Juliet not to bite back.

  Evelyn remained stubborn until her daughter revealed Lillian’s condition; she fell silent for a long time. Saying it all aloud made it too real for Juliet. When her gran had told her the news earlier, it didn’t sink in. She was so used to seeing a problem and just dealing with it, that it automatically registered onto her mental to-do list, as if she could just say, Yes, today I’m going to tackle Gran’s cancer.

  She had started to think some good came out of Austin attacking her gran, because it meant Lillian was diagnosed a little sooner. But that was ridiculous. Now Gran’s hip will have to heal alongside any cancer treatment she might need, if she even accepts treatment. Juliet began to cry, hoping the sounds wouldn’t reach the other end while she waited for her mum’s response. She shook her head at herself, and mentally began planning what she would do if her mother still refused to visit Lillian.