The Hard Way

by Austin Bates

  Issac closed his laptop and double checked for his wallet. “Let’s go.”

  “Now?”

  “Yeah, I have court this afternoon. You have to drive though.”

  Noah’s mind conjured up an image of Issac sliding into Noah’s beat up car, making silent judgments about it, excited to get back to his own. “How about we take your car?” he asked.

  I will not have a license for the next two months. I suppose calling a cab would raise questions. Or I could tell him that I got a DUI. But, everyone here just started actually taking me seriously. “You know, my car is actually in the garage, I’m getting it fixed, some idiot t-boned me while texting and—well, you know how that goes.”

  Noah nodded. “Yeah, of course, we’ll take my car.” Noah grabbed his coat and they made the trip downstairs. Noah pressed the unlock mechanism on his fob and they both climbed in. He started the car and began to back out and caught Issac resting his head against the window.

  His body released the tension that it had been holding. He doesn’t care that the seats are ripped and cold. “Are you pretty tired? I’ve noticed that you’ve been working longer hours.”

  Issac grinned. “Yeah, I thought that I should have been doing a lot more work. Almost as much as you.”

  Noah navigated the car onto the expressway and then they headed for downtown. “Aside from all of the extra work that you’ve been taking on, how have you been? Anything new?”

  Aside from my father disowning me? No, not much. Issac shook his head. “Not much. What made you want to come out to lunch today?”

  I feel weird when you’re not hitting on me, Noah thought and slowed down to get off of the expressway. He turned right and headed towards the Thai restaurant in the heart of downtown. “I just thought that we might catch up. I sit right next to you and we haven’t been doing a lot of talking.”

  They pulled into the parking lot and headed inside the restaurant. They were seated immediately, already ahead of the lunch rush. As they both slid into their respective sides of the booth, Issac asked, “How’s Jade doing? You mentioned that she was in a school play a few weeks ago?”

  Noah’s heart sank as his eyes scanned the menu. “Oh, well, she’s fine.”

  Issac probed further, anything to keep the conversation away from his own private life. “Yeah? How’s school?” I’m sure he’s like every other parent I’ve met besides my own, and he’s going to start telling me how amazingly smart she is.

  Issac leaned forward and peered into Noah’s eyes. “Noah? Are you crying?”

  Noah sniffled, and a man at a neighboring table turned to look over his shoulder, and then back at his food. The waitress came over and said, “Today’s lunch special is mild red curry and rice. What can I get for you?”

  “We’ll have two orders of spicy chicken pad Thai,” Issac said, and the waitress scribbled down their order and headed back to the noisy kitchen.

  “If you haven’t had much Thai food, you’ll love spicy chicken pad Thai. This is on me, by the way. Since you drove. Is Jade… okay?”

  Noah swiped his tears away and nodded. “Yes, she’s fine, she just… She asked my ex, Cullen, if she could go live with him because she doesn’t feel like she’s getting a lot of attention.” Noah’s hands trembled and Issac placed his slightly larger hand on top of it. Noah took a sip of the water that the waitress had set down earlier and said, “I just feel like a terrible father. Cullen wasn’t being mean about it either but he was just being so Cullen about it.”

  “How so?”

  Noah nodded. “Yeah, he’s kind of… detached. He always has been. He doesn’t really know how to approach sensitive issues. I thought that it made him mysterious, aloof, and sexy in high school. It didn’t occur to me that his parents just didn’t hug him or prioritize affection and emotions that weren’t productive. Like sensitivity.”

  Issac smiled as the waitress placed two steaming plates of noodles in front of them. Noah picked up his pair of chopsticks and put a glob of noodles in his mouth. He chewed and snatched his glass of water off of the table.

  Issac giggled. “I was going to tell you to do a small test bite first if you aren’t familiar with Thai food.”

  “Fuck!” Noah exclaimed through gritted teeth. He took another swig of water and readied his chopsticks to collect a smaller serving of noodles.

  “At least you have something different to be upset about now.” Issac wore a coy smile, and leaned forward and plucked a slice of lime off of the corner of the plate. “Why don’t you try it like this?” he asked and squeezed the lime over the noodles. He picked up his own chopsticks, grabbed some noodles from Noah’s plate, and extended his arm forward, holding the chopsticks up to Noah’s mouth.

  “You don’t—” Noah started, but opened his mouth and let Issac place the noodles in his mouth. Issac tapped his chopsticks under Noah’s chin as he sat back against the burgundy padded seat of the booth.

  Issac smirked. “It’s good, right?” His eyes were like magnets and for once, Noah couldn’t tear himself away. He swallowed the food and smiled.

  “It was good.”

  “Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about Jade. Seven-year-olds also want to eat chocolate chip cookies and ice cream for every meal. She doesn’t really know what she wants.”

  “But doesn’t a child know when they’re being neglected? I’ve been busy with all of my cases because I just want to do well—”

  “Because it’s all for her,” Issac said.

  Noah wiped some peanut sauce from the raised corner of his lips. “Yeah. What if Cullen is right? What if Jade deserves to live in his house with him and… Andrew. Maybe they’re more of a family unit for her.”

  “I think that what’s best for Jade is to be with you. That’s what it sounds like, and I know, what do I know? I don’t have kids or a husband, I’m not even close. But, maybe her asking to live with Cullen and Andrew is another way of trying to get your attention.”

  “Yeah?”

  Issac squeezed Noah’s hand. “Yeah.”

  Chapter 12

  The door opened, and a mixture of warm air and cardamom escaped outside, falling over the blanket of snow that covered the front lawn. Noah unwrapped his green and black striped scarf from around his neck and slung it over the coat rack that rested by the front door. He shrugged off his sable-colored pea coat, and married it with his scarf on the coat rack.

  There was no sound of the hardwood floors creaking with someone coming down the hall and into the entrance of the home to welcome him. He peered down the hallway and there was nothing but blackness at the end of it. Noah slid his loafers off of his feet and walked down the hall. He flicked a light on in the living room and the TV had been left on, the volume turned down low but the bright colors of the cartoon flashed across the screen, each frame brighter than the last.

  “Mom?” Noah called out as he made a left and headed towards the bedrooms. “Mom?” he repeated.

  Madeline emerged from Jade’s bedroom and softly shut the door. She placed her finger on her lips, pressing it against them and keeping them shut as she approached Noah. Madeline took him by the elbow and led him through the living room and into the kitchen.

  “Mom? Is everything okay?” Noah asked, panic rising in his voice.

  She waved his worries away and went to work, putting on a pot of hot water for tea, and then joining him at the round dinner table. Madeline massaged the wrinkled skin next to her coffee-colored eyes and shook her head. She smiled and said, “Jade has a bit of a fever. They sent her home from school because she was lethargic in all of her classes. I drove her home and took her temperature and she spent most of her afternoon on the couch.”

  An image of Jade resting her little arms around her head on top of the small desk that she shared with her desk mate, and keeping her usually flailing arm down appeared in Noah’s head. “Well, is she okay? Maybe feeling a bit better?”

  “Well, she’s going to be fine. But she cried out for you all day. S
he asked for Daddy all afternoon and—”

  Noah stood up and went over to the sink. “Mom, don’t start. She’s gotta learn that I’m not always going to be around. I can’t be around as much as you are.”

  “I understand that, and I think that Jade is smart enough to understand that, too. However, there’s got to be a limit.” Madeline captured a loose piece of blonde hair and placed it behind her ear. “If you miss a few plays, fine. If she doesn’t get to play with Daddy every night before bed some weeks, that’s also fine. If she’s sick, and Daddy will not pick up his phone—” Madeline stopped here, and shook her head. “That’s no good. She’s only seven, Noah. Maybe you should scale back the number of cases that you’ve been taking on.”

  “I can’t take less cases!” The glass that Noah had been holding to pour himself some water crashed into the sink, and Madeline rolled her eyes.

  “Lower your voice or you’ll wake up Jade. Come on, Noah. Clean that up,” she ordered, her voice bled dry of the warmth that was in it earlier. Madeline leaned back in her chair as she watched Noah pluck the shards of glass out of the sink. “You need to get your priorities in order, Noah. I’m not always going to be around. I want a life too, and I don’t always want to be saddled with Jade.”

  “Do you want us to move out?”

  “Of course not. I don’t want Jade to be taken care of by some nanny. I want you to remember what’s most important. Jade, Noah, then the Law Offices of Hugh Walsh. Hugh Walsh isn’t going to parent Jade.”

  “Hugh Walsh is why I’ll be able to enroll Jade in that private school after next year. All of this is for her—”

  “Noah, you don’t think I know this song and dance?” Madeline questioned, walking over to the whistling teapot, and rummaging through a drawer for the peppermint tea. “You should feel lucky that you have this much help. I had it differently, your father didn’t want anything to do with us once you were born. Cullen is in Jade’s life. You’ve got me. You don’t have to devote your entire life to your career because you have help.”

  “It means so much more to me to be able to do this on my own. Cullen has a life, a career… a soon-to-be husband. I can’t always rely on him and like you said, you have a life to finish living.” Noah sighed.

  Madeline squeezed his shoulder. “You have always been a trooper, sweetheart. If you can figure out how to step up to fatherhood the way you did at seventeen, then you figure this riddle out.”

  Madeline grinned and handed him a steaming cup of peppermint tea, the waves of warm mint flooded Noah’s nasal passages. “Noah Wilson solves the problems, he doesn’t stew in them.”

  She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Goodnight, son.”

  Chapter 13

  When the red digital numbers on Noah’s alarm clock changed to 4:30 a.m., the alarm began to blare and Noah groaned in his bed beside it. His skin was flushed, and a small mallet pounded against the inside of his skull. His legs were wrapped in the white sheet that normally laid flat and neat on the bed.

  Noah sat up straight and swung his legs over the side of the bed. The hallways were silent as Noah moved throughout the house towards the kitchen for a glass of water. Madeline usually didn’t wake up until about seven a.m., when it was time to drive Jade to school.

  As he poured himself a glass of water, he gazed through the window, watching the snow fall fast on the ground. He leaned against the counter, wrapping his arms around himself.

  I should get the coffee going. I need to figure out where Mom put the iron. The snow seemed to pick up as Noah fumbled around for the coffee pot. It was when he turned the hot water on and had started using some elbow grease on the glass of the coffee pot that he set the coffee pot down and marched back to his bedroom. He ripped his laptop out of his carrying bag and powered it on.

  He rubbed his hands together as the laptop came to life, squinting at the bright white loading screen. Noah found a stray t-shirt that had been lying on the floor, and slipped it over his bare shoulders. He opened his email folder and started a blank email addressed to Rhonda.

  Rhonda,

  Good morning! I apologize but I will not make it in this morning as I’m not feeling well. My daughter, Jade, has a high fever and I would like monitor her progress. I will be out of the office today and possibly working from home tomorrow. I plan to follow up sometime this evening to update you with how we’re feeling. Thank you for understanding.

  Have a fantastic day,

  Noah Wilson

  Noah stood up and lifted his arms to a long stretch, groaning as his muscles clicked and popped into place. He walked down the hall and twisted the knob of the door to Jade’s room. The very top of Jade’s dark hair was visible among the pink and blue sheets that made up the sea of her oversized bed. She’s already gotten so big this year. I wish that I had made myself more available when she started feeling sick yesterday. Am I missing out on raising you, Jade?

  Quiet snores rose out from underneath the blankets, and Noah lifted them up. Jade stirred, rubbing her small hand against her runny nose. Noah slid into the bed and cradled her in his arms. One of her tiny hands smacked him on the cheek as she rolled over. Noah grinned and squeezed her, placing one hand on her forehead and felt the fever raging on in her body.

  His eyes felt heavy and his muscles no longer wanted to support his neck. He dozed off, with his chin resting on top of Jade’s head.

  Chapter 14

  The indigo dragon that jiggled up and down on the flat screen in Madeline’s living room, let out a ferocious roar and Jade’s croaky voice roared with him. Noah squeezed her and said, “You’ll be able to roar with the dragon next week. I think that you’re too sick this week.”

  Defeated, she fell back against her father as they marathoned cartoons from the sofa. When Jade had woken up around nine that morning, she’d made a list of all of the things that she and Noah would do on Daddy’s Awesome Day Off with Jade and roughly four hours of Denver the Dragon had been first on the list.

  Noah held the crumpled up pink stationary in his hands and written in letters of varying sizes was Jade’s next event on the schedule: Daddy Eats chicken nuggets with Jade.

  He rested against the soft plushness of the sofa and experienced his muscles relaxing without the aid of alcohol for the first time in months. I never watch cartoons with Jade. I’m not going to have an opportunity to do this for much longer, either.

  Jade pressed against Noah’s chest and rotated her body so that she could face him.

  “Yes?” he asked.

  “I want to eat chicken nuggets now but I don’t want to get up.” She widened her eyes and stared into Noah’s face. Chuckling, Noah wrapped his arm around her knees and got to his feet. She squealed in his ear as he carried her into the kitchen. He set her on top of the counter and began to scour the cupboards.

  “There’s not any chicken nuggets in there,” Jade said, matter of factly.

  “Oh, I know that there’s not chicken nuggets in here. They’re in the freezer. However, sick little girls don’t eat chicken nuggets with Daddy. They eat soup with Daddy.”

  “I don’t like soup.”

  “You like soup, and you love chicken noodle soup. You just don’t like soup if it means not having nuggets.”

  “Exactly,” Madeline said, and Noah jumped, his wild eyes landing on his mother who had crept into the kitchen behind him. Jade erupted into a fit of giggles, tilting backwards on the counter, her legs flailing wildly.

  Madeline giggled. “Sorry to sneak up on you. I’m glad that Jade has you here today to tell her that we can’t eat chicken nuggets for every meal. She seems to think that rule was something that Grandmas made up.”

  Noah poked Jade in the belly and waved a can of chicken noodle soup in front of her face. “We’re eating this,” he said, and Madeline began putting on a pot of coffee.

  “Noah, did you not have to go to court today? Are you winning the cases from home now?” Madeline teased.

  N
oah pounded on the back of the soup can and the last of the soup went sputtering into the pot in front of him. “I didn’t have to go to court today, no. So, I decided not to go into the office today either so that I could be at home with Jade.”

  “Daddy should stay home every day!” Jade quipped, and Noah kissed her on the forehead. Madeline chuckled as she took a sip of her coffee. “Daddy can’t do that, but I am glad that he wanted to stay home today to make sure that you’re alright.”

  Noah stared into the pot, looking through the big chunks of noodle swimming throughout the sea of thick broth. I should check my email, though. In case anyone is trying to get a hold of me.