We met each other in the hallway. I reached for her hand and led her to our room. Before climbing into bed, she wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly. “I love you so much, Colt. Please don’t ever doubt that.”
I had no idea why she would say something like that. It was almost cryptic, like I should expect something bad to happen. “You sure you’re alright, darlin’?”
I kissed her head and pushed her back far enough to be able to look into her eyes.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure that their ain’t somethin’ you need to tell me? I feel like there is.”
Savanna shook her head. “No. I’m just upset about Noah. I guess I just thought he would miss me while I was gone. I don’t get how all of the sudden everything has changed.”
“He’s bein’ a kid, darlin’. It’s just a stage he’s goin’ through. I know the kid loves you and his sisters, too. He’s bein’ a little jerk and it’s goin’ to stop or I will have to take drastic measures to correct it myself.” I hated threatening violence, but if it was what it took to knock some sense into my son, it was going to have to happen.
“I don’t want you to have to go to those kind of extremes. He’s just rebelling. Your mother says that you were the same way.”
I was a handful. I could remember having my ass beat more than a dozen times. Once I set fire to a pile of leaves that my father forced me to rake up. I ended up burning down a tool shed and damaging a fence. Another time, I drove a four wheeler straight through a barn, with Conner on the front of it. I wasn’t exactly a innocent child, but I never talked to my parents the way that Noah was talking to us. It was uncalled for and I wasn’t having it in my house. My biggest problem was the way he was treating his mother. “I never disrespected my parents.”
“I did a few times. I mean, I never told them off, but when they wouldn’t let me do things that I wanted to do, I definitely wasn’t an easy person to live with. Being an only child yourself, I suspect you did it a few times as well. Your mother wouldn’t have put up with it. She probably threatened you with that wooden spoon more than you can remember.”
I kissed the top of her head again. “I guess you’re right. We still need to hold our ground. If Noah keeps at it, the girls are goin’ to follow in his footsteps and then we’re goin’ to have a bigger problem to deal with.” I rubbed her cheeks with my thumbs and looked deep into her eyes. “How about we take a bath before bed? I could use some quality time with my wife.”
She looked up and smiled. “That sounds fantastic!”
“You take off your clothes and I will get the water started.” I undressed and tossed my clothes on the floor as I walked. Since I was feeling distant from Savanna, I wasn’t going to waste one second I had to be alone and naked with her.
Chapter 13
Savanna
After picking up the clothes that Colt left on the floor and making my way into the bathroom, he was already in the tub with his arms reaching out for me. I smiled as I removed the last of my clothes and climbed in to sit in front of him.
The water was so hot that it took a second to get used to, while the tub edges were cold against the underneath of my arms. Colt warmed the rest of my body as he reached his large hands around and started washing my neck, then down to my breasts. His stubbly face tickled the backs of my shoulders and I couldn’t help but close my eyes while enjoying what only he could do to me.
The soap in his hands made the friction slippery, allowing him to maneuver his way up and down my arms with ease. He groaned as his fingertips massaged beneath my breasts. I felt both of his hands slide down my abdomen and continue until they reached my inner thighs. I was so eager for him to touch my pussy. I craved his attention after being away from him for days. The slightest touch to my sweet spot would send me in a frenzy. Colt must have sensed my anticipation. A small chuckled vibrated off of my shoulder as he rubbed harder on my inner thighs, never touching my pussy. I was just wanting , no needing, him to fill me with his love. The more he placed small kisses on the side of my neck, the more I could feel myself surrendering to his every touch.
Colt slowly let his fingers slip over my sex. If it weren’t fully submerged in the water, I would have said that it was on fire. I was so hot for him to touch me there; to penetrate his fingers into my entrance.
He went slowly, moving his fingers up and down both sides, never allowing himself to feel what was inside waiting. I moaned each time, feeling the friction of his fingers sliding over my sensitive skin.
His strong arms surrounded my body, leaving me feeling completely safe and overwhelmed with desire for him. We were alone and all of my worries seemed to fade away with every precious touch of his lips to my skin. “I love you,” he whispered into my ear.
As much as I wanted him to continue teasing me with his fingers, I wanted to kiss his perfect lips even more. Slowly, I turned to face him, never hesitating when I leaned in and pressed my mouth over his. I pulled away, opening my eyes slowly and watching him doing the same. “I missed you, Colt.”
I needed this more than he could imagine. It was important for me to connect to my husband, when I felt like everything around me was falling apart. I just needed to know that no matter what happened with my health, or with our son, Colt would never stray from our beautiful marriage. I don’t know why I felt insecure. For the longest time, I was certain that he would always love me. I think it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but my emotions seemed to be on overdrive. We’d come so far, after being through what no couple should ever have to endure.
I brought my fingers up to his lips and traced them before leaning in and kissing them again. He groaned and kissed me harder than before, letting his tongue finally make contact with mine. As they meshed together, so did our fingers and bodies. I wrapped my leg around my husband and straddled him, while holding both of his hands. We finally let go, but only so that we could explore each other’s wet skin.
His long, stiff erection was poking me in the leg, reminding me that I wasn’t the only one in the tub with needs. I reached down and grabbed his shaft, using the water as a slippery guide while stroking. Colt leaned his head back against the tub and closed his eyes.
I leaned in and kissed above one of his nipples, before running my tongue up to his neck. When I got to his stubbles, he looked down at me and grabbed either side of my face with his hands. For a few seconds, he just sat there staring into my eyes.
He leaned in and let our noses touch. I could feel his breath on my lips, but waited for him to make the first move.
Our next kisses were fueled by a mutual need. Our mouths moved in sync, matching brushes of our tongues and exploration with our hands. We were surrounded by bubbles, but I didn’t need to see Colt’s body to know what I was doing. I had every inch of him memorized.
Colt placed his hands under my ass and got me into the exact position for it to slide in once he sat me down. Between the hot temperature of the water and the shear size of my husband, I gasped. He cleared his throat and used his hands to guide me up and down. The water was splashing all around us as our pace became vigorous. I threw my head back and closed my eyes to concentrate on the pleasure I was feeling. Colt took one hand and ran it up to my breast. He pinched my nipple in between two fingers. I lifted my arms around his neck and teased his lips with my tongue. They tasted of sweat from the heat of the hot bath we were in. He leaned in and teased me back. It turned me on so much, feeling my sexy man mimicking my actions. I loved when Colt became the aggressor. His once gentle kisses started to become untamed. I could feel his teeth against my own as I increased my seductiveness, by moving my body like I was jumping up and down. I could hear little sounds escaping him the faster I moved. When his nails dug into my ass and steadied my pace, I knew he was about to finish. I could feel him releasing as it pumped inside the walls of my pussy. I matched his moment of euphoria, throwing my head back and letting my wet breasts rub against his chest.
Finally, I collapsed
over him, letting my head fall onto his broad shoulder. He turned his head and kissed my forehead. It was easy to close my eyes and finally relax when I knew I was in his arms.
After our bath, we put on pajamas before climbing into bed. There was no telling when a child was going to come sneaking into bed with us. Colt took my Kindle and put it on his night stand. He shook his head and pulled me into his arms. “Not tonight, darlin’.”
I didn’t argue, because I was exactly where I needed to be.
For the next week, Noah avoided being around as much as possible. He’d do his chores and whatever we asked of him, but there was no other type of communication between us. I think Colt just didn’t know what to do with him.
Zeke called that next Monday, which was also the day of my mammogram. Since I hadn’t told the family that I needed to get the test done, I had to go all by myself. My doctor had, pretty much, assured me that it was just a routine double check, so I felt as if it was just a waste of time to get done. Still, I knew that my health was important so I went through with it.
That test sucked. My boob was smashed into a pancake. No, it was like a waffle machine. I wanted to cry, but bit down on my lip and took the pain instead of looking like a sissy.
Once I had my clothes back on, they told me I could leave and my doctor would call me with the results in a couple of days. Why couldn’t they just tell me? I hated that I had to wait.
It was after noon when I got home and Colt was watching the sports channel, eating a piece of pizza. He nodded when I walked by, but kept his attention glued to that bottom line running across the screen.
Since he was obviously preoccupied, I headed into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I’d no sooner sat down at the table to eat my sandwich, when he came into the kitchen and sat down across from me. “I heard from Zeke today.”
I stopped chewing for a second and looked right at him. “And?”
“His tour ends in a week. He said he’s shootin’ a video in Puerto Rico next month, so he wanted us to come before that.”
I sat my sandwich down and swallowed what was in my mouth. “So, when are you leaving?”
He cleared his voice and hesitated. I knew I wasn’t going to like what he said. “I found a flight for Friday.”
“So, you’re leaving the day that Noah gets out for summer break?”
He reached his hands across the table and grabbed mine. “It’s the best time, Savanna. It’s in between chicken deliveries and I have to attend that Cattle auction next month.”
“It’s just so soon. I guess I thought that I would have some time to prepare. Things are so broken between Noah and me, right now.”
He squeezed my hand. “He’ll come around, darlin’.”
I pulled away and stood up, letting my body lean against the countertop. “When, Colt? After he’s lived the cool life with his uncle? Do you really think a week with memories of Krista are going to bring him back to me?”
He put his hands over his face, like it was all too frustrating to talk about. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.
It wasn’t just that I was jealous.
I was scared.
If Noah ended up resenting me, I didn’t know how I would get through that kind of heartbreak.
“Savanna, please just trust me on this.”
I walked over and leaned on the table top. He finally looked up at me. “You want me to trust you when you have no control over what the outcome of all this will be. Did it ever occur to you that he might really hate me?”
The tears had broken out and they were falling down my cheeks.
“You’re bein’ ridiculous. How could you even think somethin’ like that? I get that he’s goin’ through somethin’, but you need to understand that it ain’t goin’ to last forever.”
I held up my hand. “I can’t talk about this with you, right now. Do what you feel is right for your son, Colt. I’ll be here when you get back.”
I walked into the living room and started straightening up. He followed me. “Don’t you think you are bein’ just a little irrational here? I’m takin’ Noah. It ain’t like I’m dropping him off with the guy. He’s goin’ to be with me the whole damn time, Savanna.”
“You don’t get it, because he’s always going to be your son. Nothing can ever change that for you. I don’t have that convenience. The only ties that I share with Noah is our last name. The older he gets, the more apparent that is. This shit with Zeke just reminded me of what little say I have in his life. I can only be his mother if he lets me. The older he gets the more apparent it is that we don’t share a blood connection.”
“You’re bein’ unreasonable?”
“Am I, Colt? How would you feel if you were in my shoes? How would it make you feel if the child you raised as your own told you they hated you. He resents me. Do you get that?”
Colt threw his hands in the air, like he did every time we fought. “I’m not even goin’ to talk to you about this anymore. I already booked the flight, so we’re goin’.”
“Obviously, I wasn’t important enough to include in your planning. Why bother to tell me at all?”
I headed up the stairs, because I hated fighting with him. When I heard the front door slam, I knew he’d left me to sulk alone. Colt didn’t get it and getting him to understand was just too much work.
Colt was taking Noah to see his uncle and all I could do about it was cry. On top of all of that, I had to spend the weekend alone with the girls, worrying about the damn lump that may or not be in my breast.
Chapter 14
Colt
She was being so irrational. It was just a trip to visit someone. I could hardly imagine my son not loving her anymore, just because he had a rockstar uncle.
When she got herself upset like that, there was no making things better. Walking away was the best thing I could do.
It was going to be a long week, dealing with an excited kid and a pissed off wife. Plus, I had to make sure the ranch was in order for me to be able to leave for a week. It wasn’t like I could ask Conner to come stay and fill in for me. Amy was due any day and I’d never want him to miss that.
My only other option would be to ask Ty to come.
Now, obviously, I knew that Savanna and Ty were close. I wasn’t stupid though. They shared a past and when things were bad between her and I, it was hard not to picture her wondering if she should have stayed with him.
With the wedge between us, Savanna kept her distance. She went as far as taking the girls to her parents one night for dinner, leaving me and Noah to eat leftovers. At night, she read her stories and acted like I wasn’t even in the room.
It wasn’t how I wanted to leave things.
Finally, the night before our flight, I climbed into bed and refused to get the cold shoulder. I grabbed her Kindle and put it on my bedside table. “Darlin’, we need to talk.”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I have nothing to say. It hurts too much and you don’t get it.”
“I do get it.”
She turned and gave me a dirty look. “You have no idea what it’s like to go day in and day out knowing he doesn’t want to be near me. I pass him in the hallway and he treats me like I have the plague.”
“You’re exaggeratin’.”
She held up her hands. “Colt, please just go to bed. It’s obvious that we aren’t going to agree and I’d rather say nothing then cause a huge blowout before you leave tomorrow.”
“Fine!” I rolled over in bed and said nothing else for the rest of the night. The sleep didn’t come for at least an hour later. I was too angry to relax.
Savanna’s mother came over in the morning to watch the girls while she drove us to the airport. Noah spoke directly to me about the trip, but said less than three words to Savanna.
When we got out of the car, she walked around and hugged me goodbye. Noah didn’t respond when she put her arms around him. I could tell right away it hurt her feelings. “We’ll miss you,
darlin’. Give the girls a kiss every day from me. I love you.”
She waved as we walked away. “I will. I love you too!”
We had a six hour flight and during that time, it was too congested to have a serious talk with Noah. He was too busy listening to his iPod. When he finally fell asleep, I took the thing and went through his songs. Sure enough, he had downloaded all of Zeke’s songs. I was so angry about it, that I woke the kid up. “What is this?”
He shrugged.
“Noah, I told you that these songs were not appropriate.”
“I wanted to know about Zeke and his band, Dad. I won’t sing the words out loud.” He was acting like it wasn’t a big deal.
“You have one week to straighten your little butt up, son. I’m not having you disobey me and your mother like this. What gave you the right to go behind our backs?”
He just shrugged again.
I kept the iPod in my hand for the rest of the flight. I could tell he was pissed about it, but he wouldn’t dare argue with me over it.
A limousine was waiting for us, which excited Noah. Suddenly, he no longer cared about being in trouble with me. His whole focus turned to living the life of a rockstar.
I was on edge. After sending Savanna a text, I was too stressed to consider how much of a mistake this could turn out to be. The limousine driver looked like a lumber jack. He was gigantic and reminded me of the Jolly Green Giant from the vegetable cans.
Noah was blown away by the size of the vehicle. It was full of sodas, and I grabbed two once we pulled away from the curb. “This is awesome, Dad!”
“You think we could have one of these on the ranch?”
“We could fit lots of chickens in it.” I knew it was a joke, but raised my eyebrow at him anyway.
“Very funny.”
Since it had been a while since I had visited California, and I knew Noah had never been there before, I figured that we could make this a vacation for the both of us, even aside from having to visit Zeke. It was cool to see Noah reacting to the big city. He pointed to all types of places as we drove past them.
Blinding Trust Page 10
