I knew we were probably getting close when the city turned into large hills overlooking valleys. Once you got out of the city, it was a nice place to drive through.
We came to a gated entrance about ten minutes outside of town. The limo driver held up a key card and the gate opened. We started to pull down a driveway as long as the dirt road at home. The house was enormous and bigger than I originally expected.
As the driver walked to the rear of the car to let us out, Zeke came walking out of his front door in a robe. His tattooed chest was exposed. “How was the flight, guys?”
I reluctantly shook his hand. “It was fine. This place is tremendous.”
“I know, right? I wanted the best house that money could buy.” He waved his hands. “Come on inside. Cal will grab your bags and take them to your rooms.”
We walked into to an extremely large foyer. The floor shined like it was glass. The walls were red and the floors were all a white marble. Black and white décor followed through to each room. Zeke walked us around, showing us his home theater room, his large master bedroom with a rotating round bed and a bowling alley in the basement. The house also included an indoor and outdoor pool and a recording studio. I was taken aback by all of the things that one person had put in this single family mansion. Aside from the insane amount of extras, the house had seven bedrooms and eight bathrooms.
Piper, Zeke’s wife, was out lounging by the pool. She was wearing a very skimpy bathing suit and huge sunglasses. When she heard her husband talking, she sat up. “I didn’t know you were here already. Did you bring your suits?”
Noah was in awe. I think he was literally speechless. As cool as it all was, I could see how it was overwhelming.
Zeke patted me on the back. “You like what you see?”
“You’ve done well for yourself, Zeke.”
“My chef is making us dinner. He’s preparing you and Noah separate entrée’s so you don’t have to eat what we have. I’m pretty sure he can make anything you guys want. A little later I can take you into the kitchen so you can tell him the things you like. I want you both to make yourselves at home. I need to run out for a little bit, but I will be back for dinner.”
Noah didn’t waste any time getting his trunks on and jumping in the pool. The kid had forgotten about being in trouble and was only focused on living the high life at his uncle’s pad. It was hard to feel protective when it felt like we were in a family resort, instead of someone’s house that posed a threat to our family.
After watching Noah swim outside and go down the slide at least twenty times, I retreated into the house to check on Savanna and the girls. I plopped down on the extra soft king size bed in my room and dialed her number.
Hello.
Hey darlin’.
How is it going?
It’s good. Noah has been swimming all day. Zeke had somethin’ to do this afternoon, so we’ve just been hangin’ around. He said somethin’ about takin’ Noah to the beach tomorrow. Noah asked him if Jaws was going to be in the water.
I’m not surprised. So what’s it like there? Are their pictures of skulls all over the place?
No. Not at all. It’s pretty fancy. The whole house is red and white with black accents. You wouldn’t believe what this guy has in his house. He’s got a bowling alley, a home theater room and recording studio.
You sound like it’s amazing.
How are the girls? I miss you already.
I miss you too. It’s good you’re there with Noah. He needs this, I guess.
I’m sorry for how we left things. You know I hate fightin’ with you.
I know. Me too. I’m going to let the girls sleep in our bed tonight. They’re all excited about it.
Give them kisses. I will call you tomorrow, darlin’.
Okay, babe. Goodnight.
We ate outside, once Zeke got back from wherever he had to go. While they enjoyed eating their health food, Noah and I chowed down on barbeque ribs and French fries covered in cheese and bacon. We’d only been there for a few hours and I could already tell that my son was in love with the place.
I was happy that he was having a good time, but it meant that he wasn’t going to be thrilled about going home. I had a feeling that this trip was going to hurt Savanna more than she already was and I didn’t know what the hell I could do to fix it.
After dinner, we watched a movie in the home theater room. Noah sat next to Zeke, while Piper and I sat behind them. They seemed to be getting along good. Noah, who was all smiles, kept laughing at things that his uncle was saying to him. I was too far back to hear what it was, but the kid felt comfortable, that was for sure.
After the movie, I was beat. Since they’d been fine this whole time, I felt like it was okay to go up to my room, while Noah stayed with Zeke and Piper.
Savanna wouldn’t have agreed with my decision. If she’d known that I done it, she’d be on a plane to come kick my ass and take her son home.
I had one week to figure out how to fix this mess; one week to come up with a solution to get Noah and Savanna back to normal.
I’m not real sure what time my son went to bed, but before the sun came up the next morning, he was standing over my bed waiting for me to wake up. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes. “Noah, why are you just standin’ there?”
“Nobody is awake yet. Uncle Zeke said we could go to the beach today. When do you think he will get up? Why is it still dark out?”
I sat up and looked over at the clock. It was six in the morning. I scratched my head and thought about how to explain to my over excited child that normal people liked to sleep in on the weekends and it was actually three hours earlier than it was at home. “Noah, remember how you learned about the different time zones? Well it’s actually three hours earlier than it is at home. Go back to bed for three more hours, kid.”
“I’m not tired, Dad. Let’s watch a movie. He’s got that robot movie in 3D.”
Since we were guests, I didn’t want my son waking up the whole house. As much as I didn’t want to, I climbed out of bed and followed Noah down to the basement, so that we could watch a movie. It was going to be a very long day and I hoped to hell that Zeke had enough sense to install a fancy coffee maker somewhere in the house. I was going to need it.
Chapter 15
Savanna
The weekend went by so slow. My parents had me and the girls over for dinner Saturday and we all went to church on Sunday. Colt called as often as he could, but it seemed like Zeke was keeping them busy. I’d hoped that Noah would want to talk to me, but Colt never mentioned it, so neither did I.
When the girls would fall asleep, I cried until I couldn’t stay awake any longer. As hard as it was for me to accept, I knew that I was losing what we once shared. Our bond had been broken by something so small. It made me wonder if he ever truly loved me.
I thought back to that day when he came into our life. I could have walked away, but my heart told me to stay. I was feeling like this was so much worse than any kind of breakup with a lover. This was a deeper kind of heartbreak; the kind you never got over.
When Monday morning came around, I was physically and mentally exhausted. It was a good thing that Colt’s mom offered to take them on a girl’s day. She picked them up at nine and the house was finally quiet.
I started straightening up when I heard my phone ringing. The number on the caller ID said it was my doctor’s office. Immediately, my stomach started to hurt. I picked up the phone with shaky hands.
Hello?
Is this Savanna Mitchell?
Yes, it is.
This is Kay from Doctor Wellington’s office. He’d like you to come in to talk about the results of your mammogram. Are you available tomorrow morning at nine?
Yes.
I will pencil you in. We’ll see you tomorrow at nine.
When I hung up the phone, I kept telling myself not to panic, but I wasn’t an idiot. Doctors only called you back into the office when the news was bad. My hand we
nt straight to my breast in question. I still felt nothing.
My body sank down on my couch and I just started bawling. A month ago I would have thought that my family could get through anything. Now, with these new developments, I wondered if that was actually possible.
I looked around at the pictures of our family. The one on the coffee table was of the five of us. The kids were all smiling and Colt was looking down at me with a grin on his face. I traced over him.
I didn’t want to think about what the doctor was going to say. I knew what it meant to have a lump in the breast. I also knew that it was a fifty-fifty chance that the results could mean cancer.
I held onto that picture while I continued to cry in the quiet, dark house. It was a good thing that Colt’s mother had the girls, because there just wasn’t anyway I would have been able to keep them occupied without losing it.
I wanted to call Colt, but he already had enough on his plate. Surely my news could wait until he got back. I still didn’t know anything.
I considered calling my mother, but I couldn’t let myself worry her. This was something that I was just going to have to suck up and handle myself until I knew more.
With the exception of the two hours I got after I had taken a valium, I didn’t sleep at all. How could I, when my life could be on the line? I prayed to God for it to be a mistake in the test. It happens all the time. Surely, I could be the one that it happened to. I was a good wife and mother, and a devoted Christian. Not that anyone deserved to have something wrong with them, but hadn’t I been dealt with enough in my young life already?
I arrived at the doctor’s office an hour before my appointment. My palms were sweaty and I hated that I was going in all alone. Wasn’t this the type of thing you had a support group for?
The front desk lady must have sensed my eagerness. She went in the back and had the doctor come out to greet me. He opened the door for me to enter into the back. “Savanna. You’re early.”
I felt embarrassed. Didn’t anyone else feel nervous like I did? “Is that a problem?”
“Of course not. We can meet before the first appointment arrives. Come in and sit down.” He walked out of his office and came back in with my chart. Once he sat down in front of me, he opened up the large envelope that contained my mammogram results. While he pointed to a certain area with his pen, he looked up at me. “This is the lump that I felt during your examination. I was thinking that it was going to be just a pocket of collected tissue. The mammogram shows that it is in fact a mass. It isn’t very big, but any mass can be a concern. I’d like to get you in to have it biopsied this week.”
My mouth just dropped. I got that he was a professional and he did these sorts of things all day, but he did it without emotion. “So, how serious is it? Should I be worried, because I have to tell you, I am scared to death.”
He fidgeted with his pen. Maybe it was how he separated himself from his patient’s emotional breakdowns. “I can tell you it’s nothing, but right now, we just don’t know. It’s located in a difficult area of the breast and until we get in there and can test it properly, we just don’t know what we are dealing with.”
“Is it too soon to talk about outcomes? Maybe I am jumping the gun, but if it’s…if it’s cancer, what are my options?”
He held both hands up and lifted his brows. “We don’t want to jump the gun here, Savanna. This could be just a growth that won’t put you in any danger. Talking about options before we know anything will only make you worry more. Thousands of women get biopsies and half of them turn out to be nothing.”
I stared down at my shaking hands. “So how do we find out?” My eyes were starting to water. I got that his job was to be informative and he was used to giving people bad news, but it didn’t make it any easier for me. I was going through this without my husband and dealing with a step-son that may or may not even care if I lived or died.
“I can see if I can get you in to see the oncologist this week. He may just go ahead and do the biopsy without a first appointment. Did you want me to go ahead with that?”
I was too shaken up to answer, so I just nodded and put my head down.
The doctor got up and walked out of the office for a second. I pulled my knees into my chest and the tears started to fall down my face. I thought about my family, in fact, it was all I could think about.
What would happen if I died?
How hard would it be for them to get by without me?
How long would I have to live?
Would they be scared if I lost my hair?
I thought about my girls growing up without a mother.
I was overwhelmed with hopeless fear.
The doctor came back into the office to find me an emotional wreck. He sat down and cleared his throat. “Savanna, I realize this is scary. You aren’t alone. Take it day by day until we figure out what’s going on.” He wrote something down in his laptop. “They are going to squeeze you in on Thursday. Can you be there at seven in the morning?”
It was early, but nothing that I wasn’t used to. “Yes.”
“When you walk out stop by the front desk. Kay will give you paperwork that their office faxed over to us. Just take that with you. They’re located in the building behind this one. He knows that I want a rush on the labs. I can’t guarantee that we will have them before the weekend. It usually takes seven days, so I imagine four is a rushed order. If you don’t hear anything before Wednesday next week, just give us a call.”
“Sounds good,” I sniffled through my words.
“Try to not get yourself too upset until we have the next results. This could still be nothing to worry about.”
We said our goodbyes and I grabbed the paperwork, while still crying.
Once I got to the car is when my bawling became uncontrolled. I was petrified. Everyone thinks that it can’t happen to them. The truth is, it could happen to any of us.
I needed to call Colt, but he was with Noah, who would never forgive me if I ruined their trip. Colt would want to come home and be with me through all of this.
I had to do it alone.
I don’t remember dialing the number, but Miranda’s name filled my screen.
The voice on the other line was not the person I wanted to talk to.
Cocksucker’s Anonymous, how may I direct your call?
Ty, can I talk to Miranda?
Are you crying?
No!
Stop lying. I can hear it in your voice.
Is she there or not?
She left her phone home. Stop changing the subject. Did Colt hook up with a groupie? He did, didn’t he?”
No! I have to go.
I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. The last thing I needed was Ty’s two cents.
The phone rang again, but I hit the silent button. By the time I got a mile down the road, he’d rang my phone constantly.
What?
Do you really think that I’m just going to be okay with you hanging up on me when clearly you need to talk to someone?
You are the last person on the earth that I can talk to this about.
You got warts?
I hung up on him again.
He called my phone non-stop the entire ride home. The worst part was that once I got driving, my Bluetooth connected to my SUV and it rang louder than a regular phone. At least I could hit ignore from my steering wheel.
When I pulled down our long dirt driveway, he was still calling. I’d realized that his shenanigans had actually forced me to stop crying, since I was so annoyed.
I picked up the phone one last time to tell him where he could stick it.
If you don’t stop calling me..
How long have we known each other?
Since we were kids, why?
Talk to me, Van. I’ll listen, I promise.
I can’t talk about this, Ty. It’s personal.
I know you. What gives? What could be that bad that you don’t want anyone to know? Are you having an a
ffair?
No! Oh my God, you would think that!
Are you pregnant?
I wish it was something like that, Ty.
Is it your health?
I shouldn’t have even called Miranda. I don’t want the family knowing this. Please just forget I called. Don’t tell your wife, Ty. It’s best if I keep this to myself.
If you hang up on me, I’m driving out there. You’re making me worry, now. Please, Van, just tell me you’re going to be alright?
Don’t come here, Ty. I’m going to be fine.
Except, I wasn’t going to be fine.
Once I got back in the house, I crawled into bed and had a sob fest. It wasn’t unusual for me to get emotional about things. It was how I was wired, I guess. The unusual part was this was legitimately a good reason to be breaking down.
A little while later my mother in-law called and asked if she could take my mother and the girls to some doll convention that was a few towns over. Since she was footing the bill and already had them excited, I knew I had to say yes.
I lied and told her I wasn’t home, so that they could come and pack some clothes. Without even putting shoes on, I grabbed my keys and moved my SUV into the garage so they wouldn’t see my car. Like a little kid, I hid in the office with the door locked, so they wouldn’t find me.
I knew that if I saw my two beautiful little girls and my two mothers, I would lose it and the cat would be out of the bag.
They took forever getting their things together for the overnight trip. I could hear the excitement in their voices and I wished that I hadn’t been so selfish so that I could kiss them each goodbye. I love my little princesses so much. Family was always the most important thing in my life.
When the house got quiet, I knew I was in the clear. They had turned on every single light, even though it was daytime. While walking through the house, turning them all back out, I stopped and looked at the pictures on the wall. They were all such happy times that we’d shared together. I imagined them all getting on without me and it crushed my heart even more.
Blinding Trust Page 11
