More Than Memories

by Kristen James

  “I’m sleepy still. How about a coffee stop before hitting the freeway?”

  He threw his hat in the backseat before getting in. “Alright, we can get gas while we’re at it.”

  At the mini mart, Molly took her time picking out just what flavor she wanted in her coffee while Trent smiled behind her and listened to the music playing over the store speakers.

  “Hey.” She glanced at him over her shoulder.

  “Hey what?”

  She started singing along with John Michael Montgomery’s “Life’s A Dance,” playing over the mini mart’s speakers, and she slid up to him, throwing her arms around his neck and swaying with the music.

  “Mol, we’re in a mini mart.” He laughed, resisting.

  She looked up at him, her eyelashes curling around her big, teasing eyes. Sweet eyes. “You don’t want to dance with me?”

  People stared, smiling at them, and he couldn’t do anything but put his hands on her small waist and turn with the song.

  “This was our song,” he said next to her ear.

  “It still can be.”

  Twenty minutes later, with coffee and fruit Danishes, Trent steered the car onto the freeway entrance ramp while Molly gave Ridge City a farewell look.

  “You’re sure you want to make this trip now?” There he went again, second guessing himself. It made for a good detective, but sure got in the way in his personal life.

  “I am.” She faced forward. “I need to get a clear picture of my life so I can get on with it. This trip should help bring things into focus.”

  He felt something like that, too, wanting them to be on the same page, both with a full memory of their relationship. Or just full knowledge. Several times he felt it was the right time to share everything with her. Then the moment passed. He couldn’t wedge this kind of stuff in just anywhere – he needed a good time to tell her.

  Molly was silent, in thought like him, but he still had the feeling she had something on her shoulder. “What’s up?”

  “Up?” She turned to him. “Nothing. I’m just so glad I came back. I was thinking, what if I’d known sooner, realized earlier, or if my parents had told me about my friends waiting to hear from me.”

  He’d wondered the same thing, wished he could demand some answers, but her parents were gone. “I’m surprised you’ve been so calm about it.”

  “I’m trying not to get mad when I don’t know the reasons, but man it’s hard.” She stopped, looked out the window. “Think where we’d be now if everything had kept going like it was supposed to.”

  Yeah, Trent had thought about that a lot over the last few years. At times he thought about trying to move on, but he wouldn’t tell Molly that. He’d thought about it, but he’d never been able to try. He’d worked, spent time with his friends, but he never dated. Never thought about other women. Never thought he could replace Molly.

  Her words gave him the impression she did understand their past, maybe a little, if not all of it. He still had to find a place and time to tell her the rest.

  “Let’s hope we can find out what your parents were thinking,” he said.

  “I have to know the truth. It could be a lot worse than the scenarios I’ve thought of, or maybe something far more innocent. Either way, I need to know why they lied to me.”

  Lied to me echoed in Trent’s head, but he wasn’t lying to her. He just couldn’t tell her yet. He’d read up on amnesia since Molly had shown up, and knew an information overload wouldn’t bring it all back. It might do just the opposite. Some little part of him always wondered if she’d run from him because she felt they’d gotten too serious, too soon by getting engaged.

  Things were going good right now, almost like they used to be. He couldn’t expect her to be in love with him right now, but they’d catch up. Then he could tell her everything.

  Trees and bushes along the freeway were in bloom with pink, lavender, and white blossoms, and their scent saturated inside the car, mixing with the coffee’s aroma. They both watched the scenery pass by in silence. Trent still felt that strange itch that something wasn’t right. The feeling grew stronger when he remembered how Molly used to get quiet when she was brooding over something. If something made her mad, she didn’t carry it around. She usually confronted the problem, or the person, right away. Not that she yelled or spouted expletives, but she valued being honest and straight to the point. Getting hurt was another matter. Every once in a great while, something got to her on a personal, emotional level, and that’s when she seemed to keep it inside. Not wanting to admit she felt hurt until she couldn’t handle it anymore. His gut knew this was one of those times.

  What had he done? Or said?

  “Are you going to feel like talking about it any time soon?” he asked, knowing he couldn’t leave things be if she was upset over something he did, especially when they were on this trip together.

  “You’ve been so nice.” Molly’s words jarred him a little, and he didn’t know where she was heading.

  “I try.”

  “I’m just wondering …. If I wasn’t the most likable person before, would you tell me?”

  He looked at her quickly and wished he wasn’t driving so he could turn to watch her while they talked. “Mol, what placed that into your head?”

  Could he have made her think that? He’d always thought the world of her, everyone knew that.

  “You and Alicia, I’m not sure you’re telling me the bad with the good.”

  “I didn’t see any bad.”

  “Come on, no one’s perfect.”

  “Why are you asking?”

  She didn’t seem sure now. “I want to know everything.”

  He’d never heard her worry over anything like this before. Sighing, he wondered what she wanted to know and why.

  “Was I spoiled?” she asked.

  “You were an only child, so you had all your parents’ attention.”

  “But was I a brat?”

  “Mol, everyone liked you. What are you getting at?” Trent felt itchy with frustration.

  “Bev didn’t like me.”

  “One person in a town of five thousand people. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. What did she say to you that’s got you so upset?”

  “That I’m spoiled and ‘floated through life without a care,’ and I’m ‘not what you need’.”

  Trent felt like slamming on the brakes and pulling over, but he kept himself calm. He wasn’t going to become mad at Molly over Bev. “Every parent tries to give their kids all the opportunities they can. No one can blame your parents for doing the same. They let you dream and encouraged you, even if your goals sounded foolish or far-fetched.”

  He’d always respected Molly’s parents. Their disappearance just didn’t make sense. He feared they were running for their lives, and whatever was after them caught up with them – if the accident wasn’t an accident after all. He said, “You know how much they loved you, right?”

  Once again, she didn’t respond. He glanced over to see her looking down so he reached over to touch her leg. She put her hand over his.

  “Bev doesn’t know a thing about what I need,” he said. “Please don’t listen to her.”

  “Did you two ever get together?”

  “No.”

  “Alicia mentioned she visits your parents a lot. I didn’t think about it, even when she said you guys call her and David your fan club.”

  “Because they’re both usually mad at me, usually something I can’t control.”

  “So she was after you all this time?”

  “I’m not sure when it started, but I first noticed about a year after you were gone. I was mad. Told her as much. That’s why she’s been so mad at me and bitter at you. She still thought she had a chance.” He glanced at Molly, making sure she believed him since it was the truth. “I never gave her any reason to think I wanted to be with anyone besides you. She’s been spending time with my parents and hanging around me, but I’ve only acted like a fr
iend to her.”

  Now’s the time. He needed to tell her everything about them. Knowing might push away her doubts.

  “Let’s stop at that rest stop,” she said.

  Trent turned on the blinker, searching for the words to begin, but Molly hopped out of the car as soon as he pulled into a parking space and headed for the bathrooms. Trent got out, sighing, wondering how he could deal with rough criminals, drunks, domestic violence, but lose his nerve around Molly. He could hear Alicia now, and she didn’t even know the whole story.

  So why had he waited so long? He’d been waiting for the right moment and somehow it’d flown by.

  He turned as Molly approached the car and froze, struck by her expression. Bewildered was the only word he could think of for it.

  “Mol, what happened?”

  She stopped and leaned against the car, looking past him, to the surrounding trees and lawn, he realized. He said her name again.

  “I walked out of the restroom and suddenly, I felt so afraid I wanted to run back inside. A confusing fear. And I have no idea why. But it went away.”

  “You looked around and then the feeling hit?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes rested on his face. “I didn’t remember anything useful.”

  “You did.” He reached a hand to her face. “You must have stopped here on the way down four years ago, apparently afraid of something. That backs up our theory that your family was running from something.”

  She held onto his hand for a moment, but then pushed up off the car and said, “I can drive now if you like.”

  She took the car out onto the freeway, and he decided he needed to talk to her before things went any further. He should have done it already, so he could just tell her ‘I wanted to tell you sooner . . . ’.

  “There’s something I need to tell you before we get there,” Molly said as Trent opened his mouth.

  “Huh?” Wasn’t that his line?

  “I have a neighbor, Justin, who’s had a thing for me. He’s rather annoying, so hopefully we won’t see him, but I wanted to prepare you in case he comes out when he sees the car.”

  Trent wasn’t ready for that, for thinking other men were attracted to Molly and that she’d spent four years without knowing about him. A grown woman, a beautiful one, alone for four years, and he never thought she’d gotten lonely?

  “Trent?” She glanced over. “You’re not worried now, are you?”

  “What kept you from dating?” he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. She hadn’t known about any commitment to him so it wouldn’t have been cheating if she’d met someone else. He just hated to dwell on that possibility.

  “How could I? I had no idea what my plans had been. I felt like I couldn’t go forward, even though it seemed like a waste of time to think about the past. Or wonder about it, in my case.”

  Trent knew about being stuck, but that didn’t help the feeling nagging at him. Things had been tough for her, and she didn’t have many people to turn to. Couldn’t there have been one time she wasn’t telling him about?

  Molly seemed to be over the conversation already, hitting the scan button on the radio till she got a clear country station.

  Two hours later, she turned the car onto an exit ramp and said, “I think it’s lunch time.” She added they had about two and a half more driving hours. Having two drivers cut the trip down compared to her previous drive from Redding.

  Trent smiled when she pulled into a small seafood place. He’d call it almost a shack, really.

  Catching him smile, she said, “I’m craving cod, and these places seem to have the best stuff. I don’t like instant, oil fried patties.”

  “Never did.” Some things don’t change. “And you still like seafood.”

  “You don’t?”

  “Yeah, I do. I just don’t get a craving for it at odd times and drive to the coast to get some.”

  “I did that?” She laughed as she exited the car. Inside they could see part of the kitchen where the cook passed the prepared plates through. It looked tiny enough with only eight booths and two employees, but it seemed like locals enjoyed the place.

  Trent found himself wishing he could undo Molly’s hair clip and send all those curls loose. The white tank top contrasted the rest of her, drawing attention to her almost black hair, her dark eyes, and her mouth. She wore an off-red lipstick, a brick color, he’d say, that tantalized him. He couldn’t figure out how a color made her full lips jump out at him like that, making him want to pull her across the table and kiss her.

  Right then he realized she was watching him, starting to smile. The look on his face must have told her everything. She said, “You look yummy today, too.”

  “Yummy?”

  Instead of answering with words, she raised an eyebrow, and almost made him blush. He wanted to take his eyes off her but couldn’t. About then, they both remembered they were sitting in a public restaurant.

  Molly sat back and said, “I don’t get Alicia and David. I can’t say anything since I don’t remember, but he seems wrong for her.”

  “Cynical, you mean?”

  “Cynical to meanness, yes. He’d be a better fit for Bev.”

  That cracked Trent up. “But,” he said, “they balance each other out, and they both want the same things.”

  “A family, she’s told me.”

  Trent sobered fast enough that he knew Molly noticed. They’d talked about a family, too, and a little house. In fact, they’d picked out the house and Trent bought it so it’d be ready after their wedding. He lived in it for these years, waiting for Molly to come home.

  He thought she knew. How many single men lived in a family home?

  “So when will I hear the entire story of us?” She threw the question out there like a fast curveball.

  “Mol . The story’s so big, I don’t know if I can tell it all to you.”

  “Well, if I don’t get my memory back, you’ll have a long time.”

  “Actually, I’ve been trying to tell you something and just haven’t figured out how.” His words made her face blanch. He reached for her hand, wondering why she’d be scared.

  “I think you’ve been right.” She said as she stared at their hands at the table.

  “About what?”

  “Maybe we should give things a while, not rush them, and see if it comes back to me.”

  She didn’t want to know. It surprised Trent that he didn’t feel relieved about delaying the conversation. He also couldn’t put it out of his mind.

  “Are things going too fast between us?”

  Molly laughed, pulling her hand back and rubbing her face. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We’ve done this all before, I assume. So this doesn’t seem fast to you.”

  “It’s been a while. Things like this take time. We’re getting used to each other again. Even if you remembered right now, four years is a while.”

  She nodded. Their food came: the breaded cod she’d been craving while driving. Trent ordered a shrimp basket and Molly stole a couple of those, too.

  Their old habits were coming back so easy. At least it seemed that way, but they hadn’t discussed their present relationship. Four years ago, he knew what Molly wanted, but that didn’t mean she still felt the same way.

  “I feel like I’m asking this kinda late, but my job’s taught me not to take anything for granted.” He needed a drink before continuing. “The thing is, Molly, I don’t want you to feel obligated to our relationship because we had one before.”

  He thought he saw her brown eyes lose their luster. She didn’t move.

  “What are you saying by that? Do you mean anything else?” she asked.

  “No, no, what else would I mean?” He’d used the wrong words. “I realized I never asked you if you wanted this – us – right now.”

  He’d been nervous about this conversation as well, but it sure felt better to be getting it out in the open. While their past effected the present, having a new relationship didn’t depend on her remem
bering what they had before. However they could be together, he wanted her. He watched her eyes in the few seconds of silence.

  “Us?” She looked him over the same way she had that first day, then smiled shyly. “Do you have to ask that?”

  He had to smile and breathed again.

  “But are you implying something else by that? Are you having doubts?” she asked.

  “Do you have to ask that?”

  Chapter Nine

  Molly sat in the driver’s seat and watched Trent sleep in the stopped car, amazed at what a deep sleeper he was. He’d turned his head away from the window and faced her, breathing softly. Looking at his dark lashes, his freshly shaven skin, and sleep-swollen lips, she wondered how many times she’d watched him sleep before. The silence finally roused him and he rubbed his eyes and looked at her.

  “Tired of driving?”

  “Flat tire.”

  He jerked up, looking out the windshield at the cars whipping by on the freeway. “I slept through it?”

  “The question of the day is do you know how to change one?”

  Trent rubbed his eyes again, laughing. “I didn’t think that was something you forgot, even with amnesia.”

  She gaped at him before looking out the window. “I know how to change one?”

  He followed when she opened her door and made her way around to the trunk, careful of the traffic. Once they had the spare out, he insisted on loosening the lug nuts, so she leaned against the side rail and watched him work. Thankfully the flat tire was on the side that didn’t face the freeway. He looked back at her with the start of laughter shining in his eyes because he caught her checking him out.

  The laughter stopped when their eyes met. She loved that look and knew no one else ever saw it. Hot and intense. So intimate she wouldn’t be able to handle it from anyone else. Even though she tried to resist the urge, she felt one corner of her mouth lift in a coy smile meant for him.

  Trent’s tool hit the pavement and he strode up to her, grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her face close. She expected a hard kiss, but he stopped an inch away and met her mouth like he was tasting honey.