Between Now and Goodbye

by Hannah Harvey

'Because,' he says, pausing for what I can only assume is supposed to be dramatic effect, 'you are dressed way too... class president tonight, and it'd ruin our reputations to be seen with you too often.'

  'Very funny.' I groan. I already felt ridiculous enough in these clothes, and it's all been for nothing anyway, because Julie's already gone.

  'It's kind of funny.' Libby says, stifling back a laugh, and because I'm so happy to see her looking like her normal self again, I laugh right along with them as we head to the roller coaster.

  Twenty Seven – Julie

  In the end, I didn't stick around at the fair as long as I normally do each year. I wasn't having fun the way I should have been, because to me it all seemed so juvenile. Besides, I have more important things I need to focus on. Which is exactly why I'm sitting in my bedroom, with Carly, working on what's proving to be quite a tough challenge.

  'What exactly is it that we're doing?' Carly asks, staring at the blank page in the notebook I just handed her.

  'I need you to write down every place that Libby said she lived, in order. I know you remember, because you remember everything, which is why you're so good on the school newspaper.'

  'Why do you need to know?' She asks, but she's already starting to write it out.

  'Because, if I can trace back through her previous addresses. I may be able to find someone who knew her father, and knows what happened to him and where he is now.'

  'You're trying to track down her dad?' She pauses with the pen hovering above the page, 'why?'

  'Because I'm never going to get any answers out of her, and she's one of my best friends. I feel like I have a right to know why she never talks about her dad. I want to find out who he is. I mean, what if he's looking for her all this time, but her mom keeps moving them around, so he can't find her.'

  'You think?'

  'Well, it's a possibility. Maybe her mom didn't want him around, so she took off with his kids and he's been trying to find them. Maybe Libby's mom wasn't even supposed to get full custody, but she ran off with the girls. I mean, it could be that he wants to see her.'

  'Yeah, but... if she wanted to see him, then surely she wouldn't keep so quiet about him all the time.'

  'Oh my goodness.' My heart suddenly speeds up a little, 'What if she's not allowed to talk about him, because he's like...famous.'

  'Oh my goodness, you're totally right. It adds up. Her mom got married to someone famous, and they had kids. He probably didn't have much to do with them, because he would have been so busy...'

  'Right,' I nod, 'so Libby's mad at him for being absent, and her mom finally had enough, and divorced him.'

  'And then she took the kids and left, and he wanted them back...'

  'But Libby's mom didn't want them to be abandoned by him again, so she kept moving them from place to place, until he couldn't track them any more.' I pull my laptop towards me, 'He probably just wants a chance to make it up to them all.'

  'Then we should definitely help.'

  'Think how happy Libby will be if we can reunite her with her dad.' I smile widely, but then it drops, 'problem is, we don't even know what his name is. All we have to go on at the moment is the list of places she lived, and we don't even know how old she was when she last saw her dad, or where they were living at the time.'

  'Let's look at it logically. She gave us a list of places she's lived, and in what order.'

  'Not towns, though.' I point out. 'We know the cities, states. Nothing concrete.'

  'You don't need a lot of information to start with, all you need are a few details and the knowledge of how to use the tools we have to get more.'

  'Ok,' I nod, 'so let's think about what tools we have. We have the internet.'

  'We have money.'

  'We know people with connections that might get us information from sources we wouldn't be able to get into ourselves.' I add. 'If we can work out the last place she lived with her father, then we can try and work out where she went to school.'

  'If we do that we might be able to get access to the school records, find out her father's name.' Carly nods.

  'Then we have everything we need to find him. So we'll trace backwards from here and see where he pops up.'

  'Let's get started.'

  We work until our eyes get bleary with tiredness and we're forced to stop and get some sleep. I hadn't wanted to give up, because when I'm determined about something, I don't like letting go. My parents have always called it driven. A lot of other people call it stubborn. I'm pretty sure the two terms are interchangeable, one just had a much more negative connotation.

  We did make progress last night, though, which is what I'm going over right now on my computer. We decided that we'd keep all of the information in a file on my computer, so I'm trawling through the evidence.

  We didn't make all that much progress, definitely not as much as I'd hoped we would make. Still, it's progress and that's something.

  Between the two of us, we managed to figure out two of the towns that Libby lived in previously, and it wasn't even all that hard. We started off by searching her name, typing it in with the state or city where she'd told us she'd lived. Mostly it didn't turn up anything, she must have been good at keeping a low profile. There was no record of her on any school website, she never joined any clubs, so she didn't have her photograph included in any club pages. We couldn't find any trace of her on social media and a simple google search pulled up more results that we could trawl through.

  The first town we found was because of Pippa. After hours of digging through website after website, and making call after call. I stumbled upon a picture on a website of a small town newspaper. I got giddy with excitement when I saw a picture of Pippa staring back at me. She was younger of course, going by the date of the article she would have been thirteen at the time, but it was definitely her.

  The article was about how a young local girl had saved a boy from drowning.

  From that one picture we were able to find out a lot. The first thing the article told us was that this must have been the town they lived in before they came here, because in the article, they mentioned Pippa's sister, mother and soon to be stepfather. I already knew that they moved here directly after her mom married Matt.

  We had something solid on our time line of where she's been, so we added that into the file on my computer and from there, we could keep working backwards.

  We traced backwards through the places she'd mentioned she'd lived in. It wasn't until this morning that I realized we probably should have started in the first place she mentioned, but it's too late for that now, we have a system.

  Texas, we found no trace of them. Colorado was the same thing, not a hint. Pennsylvania again we turned up nothing. Not one little thing popped up and we were starting to lose hope.

  Then just before we were planning on sleeping, Carly found something. She'd started working on finding their connection to Michigan, which was the place that Libby had said she'd been living in before Pennsylvania.

  She found something by searching under Libby's mom's name, and trawling through hundreds of search results. Then she finally found something. An employee of the month post on a business website. Accompanied by a picture of Libby's mom and a first name.

  It was the date that got me though. The picture and small congratulations post was dated just four years ago, when Libby would have been thirteen. So between ages thirteen and seventeen, she's lived in five different states, and multiple places within those states.

  After finding that out I wanted to keep finding more information, but both of us were struggling to keep our eyes open, so we were forced to call it a night.

  This morning, I'm actually up before noon, despite the late night. Carly is still spread out on my bed, snoring lightly, but I've been up since ten, which is a little over an hour ago. I've had my shower, put on some clothes, and now I'm reviewing the file of what we know for certain.

  I'm about to start looking into New York, to see if I c
an find any trace of them there, when my phone starts ringing. I grab it and answer quickly, because I don't want to wake Carly. It would be useful to have her help, because she's a genius when it comes to unearthing information. However, waking her up is definitely not something I want to be doing. She tends to get extremely agitated when someone interrupts her rest.

  I slip out of the room onto my balcony and hold the phone up to my ear.

  'Hello?'

  'Hey Julie, it's Libby.' Her voice comes through clear and bright, and I get a small pang in my chest about how I spend my night, and when I have open on my computer right now. I shouldn't feel bad though. I shouldn't be feeling guilty for looking into her past, because she won't tell me the truth, and I'm doing it for her.

  You see it on talk shows all the time. The hosts reunite people with their estranged parents, and they're all really happy about it. So I brush aside any feelings of discomfort.

  'Good morning.' I say breezily.

  'I didn't wake you up did I?'

  'Surprisingly, no,' I laugh, 'what's up?'

  'Well, I have to go to the mall today to return some stuff my mom bought and doesn't want, and I thought to myself, I know someone who loves the mall. So I wondered if you were free, and if you were, do you want to come with me to the mall?'

  'You know I never turn down a trip to the mall.' I laugh. The research will have to wait, because I did bring her home to spend more time with me, so I should go. Plus, spending the day with her, I may end up learning a few things that I can add to the file anyway. 'Shall I pick you up in like half an hour?'

  'Sure.' Libby replied, 'I'll see you soon.

  Carly was still asleep when I left the house and so after leaving a note, I drove over to Libby's house. She's outside already, possibly because I'm twenty minutes late. She also isn't alone. She's leaning against the low fence which separates her yard from Charles' yard, and she's talking to Charles and a guy I kind of recognize.

  He goes to their school, and I know that I've met him in the past. I just can't figure out what his name is.

  I think about just honking the horn and waiting for Libby to come over, but I don't want anyone to think I'm finding it difficult being around Charles, because if they think that, then they might think I'm thinking that I made a mistake. Which I'm not, because I didn't.

  So instead of pressing the horn, I slide my sunglasses up onto my head, check my hair is neatly up and then slide out of the car.

  'Morning all.' I call brightly. Charles, of course, is the first to look over, and the smile on his face lets me know that he's not angry with me, even though I never did meet up with him again last night. It also tells me that he's still very much in love with me.

  'Morning.' Charles says, the first one to greet me and then the other two follow quickly.

  'You remember Colin right?' Libby says, indicating the dark haired boy standing next to Charles.

  'Of course.' I lie and decide to go with what I hope is a reasonable enough guess, 'Charles used to play basketball with you right?'

  'Yeah, that's right.' Colin nods, looking both amused and surprised, which annoys me. Did he expect that I wouldn't remember him? I mean, I know technically I didn't remember him, even though I must have met him on more than one occasion, but he didn't know that.

  'Colin and I are taking the boys out fishing today.' Charles says, his eyes searching for mine, but I won't give in and look directly at him.

  'What about the girls?' I have a sudden spark of dread go through me. What if Libby has offered to watch them, and she's planning on bringing them to the mall? It's the kind of thing she would do.

  'My mom's home now, she got discharged early this morning, so she's home with them and Katie's staying in to help out.' Charles replies, 'We were going to take the boys camping for the weekend, but with my mom just out of the hospital, we thought it'd be best if I didn't leave for the whole weekend.'

  'Oh sure, makes sense.' I nod, though I'm only part listening. The rest of me is silently cheering that I won't have to deal with taking the girls to the mall with us.

  'Yeah,' Colin draws out the word, again an amused smile on his face, 'it's great news that Charles' mom is home, isn't it?' He says just a little too slowly for it to be a normal question. He's trying to make a point.

  'Of course it is.' I smile, 'Charles, I'm really pleased she's home, you must be glad.'

  'Yeah, it's great having her back.' Charles nods and shoots Colin a look which I'm sure is supposed to mean 'back off' and I'm grateful for that. I don't want to stand here and be made to feel like I'm a terrible person, just because I didn't rush to say how great it is she's home. Honestly, how great is it? She's got cancer, it would be better if she were in the hospital, that way Charles wouldn't have to play nursemaid all the time.

  'How is your mom doing Charles?' Colin asks. Ok, I guess I was supposed to ask that.

  'You already know, you spent the night here and you came with me to collect her. You spent the past hour chatting to her.' Charles replies, the same flash of a warning on his face.

  'Yes,' Colin nods and glances at me, 'and Libby,' his features soften and he smiles, 'knows how she is, but not everyone here in the group knows.' Again his gaze lands on me, and none of the smiling softness remains.

  'Sorry where is my head today?' I laugh, even to my own ear it sounds false. Forced out of me to try and save face. 'How is she doing?'

  'She's happier now that she's home, but she's still not responding to the chemotherapy. It's about the same as before, good days and bad days.'

  'The important thing is that you and your mom have a really good support system. That helps. It's always good when people don't walk away when things get tough.' Colin says.

  'Ok, so we should get going.' Libby says suddenly. I wonder if she noticed the tension that had started to fill the space between me and Colin. It would be hard not to notice it, since he's looking at me like I'm a piece of trash on the ground.

  'Have fun.' Colin smiles at her, holding her gaze until she looks away, and then a look crosses his face. Something close to disappointment. Interesting.

  Twenty Eight – Libby

  'You do know that he likes you, right?' Julie says, turning to look at me and keeping her eyes on me a little longer than I'm comfortable with, considering she's the one driving the car.

  'Who? Char?' I ask, a buzzing starting in my head and running through my arms and into my fingers. She can't mean that he likes me, because he's totally in love with her. 'Could you watch the road?' I add.

  'The road is empty, we're fine.' She rolls her eyes, 'and no, I don't mean Charles. As if.' She laughs. Of course she didn't mean Charles, that would have been crazy, but what exactly does she mean by 'as if'?

  'Right, of course.' I nod.

  'I meant Colin likes you.'

  'Ok, firstly it's not fine because there are other hazards on the road, not just cars.' I reply, 'And no he doesn't like me.'

  'Oh yes, he does.' She looks back to the road. 'Didn't you see the way he was smiling at you?'

  'A lot of people smile at me Julie, but Colin and I are just friends.' I reply.

  'For now maybe, but just friends can easily become more than friends. Look at Charles and me.'

  'A shining example of a happy couple.' I slouch down in my chair and shake my head.

  'Just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean that we didn't go from being friends to being more than friends. It happens sometimes, you don't always see it coming, though with Charles and me, I guess I always knew that I would date him. We'd been so close for so long, and he was always so sweet.'

  'So what changed?' I ask. She groans and then lets out a really low sigh, 'No, really Julie, I've never been in a relationship before. I don't get how this works. What changed between you starting to date him eight months ago and now?'

  'His mom got cancer.' She snaps. 'She got ill and he wasn't around as much as before, and maybe that sounds selfish. I don't really care though, because I
went into that relationship with one idea of what I would get back out. His mom gets sick and suddenly I'm the one who's suffering. He couldn't take me out all the time. He wouldn't come with me to all the parties, and suddenly our dates involved going to his house to have dinner with his family.'

  'I know it's a tough situation, Julie, it's hard on everyone involved, but things won't be like that forever.'

  'I know he won't be caring for his mom forever, but once she dies, he'll be caring for his siblings.'

  'Whoa,' I feel stunned that she can so casually mention his mom dying like that, 'Julie, his mom is fighting, we don't know that she's going to die. Please promise me you won't say anything like that around Char or his family.'

  'I'm just trying to be realistic. She's not getting any better.' Julie huffs, 'I cannot believe that once again I'm spending the day with you, and once again you're bringing up all this Charles stuff. I thought I was your friend as well, but it seems a lot like you're taking his side in everything.' She's starting to get upset.

  Have I been taking Charles' side? I don't mean to if I am. I'm only helping him try to get her back, because I think she really does love him. She's just feeling overwhelmed because things did change rapidly after his mom got sick. Now, though, is not the right time to bring up my reasoning's. She's already upset with me, and it's probably going to take a lot of my energy to get her to forgive me.

  'Julie I'm sorry. I'm not taking sides and you are my friend.' I say calmly, 'Forgive me?'

  She doesn't say anything. She keeps sulkily staring ahead at the road as she drives, and the car falls into silence.

  When we get to the mall she's still sulking. She sulks as she pulls into a space in the parking lot. Sulks while we walk towards the building. Sulks as I run my errands for my mom, and then sulks as I wait in line for a coffee.

  'Julie you can't stay mad at me all day. What can I do to make you forgive me?' I plead with her, because when Julie wants to freeze you out, she can do it expertly until you beg and plead with her to stop. 'Come on, I'll do anything.'