Ember (Faylinn Series)

by Mindy Hayes

  I looked to Kai expectantly.

  “After you,” he said, brushing his hand in front of him.

  I began walking, but this was my first time in the dining room. I was all turned around. Kai laughed when I stopped and looked back at him for guidance, arms folded across my chest.

  “Can’t even figure out the general direction. Amazing.” I held back the urge to punch him and followed behind him, as he turned left out of the dining room.

  “So you don’t worry too much about what I think, huh?” He peered over his shoulder at me and slowed so I could walk by his side.

  I cringed visibly before I thought better of it, so I turned the question back on him to try and cover it up. “Can you honestly say that you worry about what I think all of the time?”

  Kai made a right turn down another corridor lined with moss and stone, and then we were at the bottom of another set of stairs I hadn’t been up yet. “So it’s true then?” He didn’t wait for my response. “And I have a funny way of showing emotions? I don’t even know what that means.”

  Oh gosh. How much did he hear? I cleared my throat. “It means you’re so all over the place with your emotions, I never know when you’re actually offended or mad or happy.”

  He stopped in front of my bedroom door and turned to me, staying silent for a moment. Deciphering my words, his eyes memorized my face. In the dim hallway, his indigo eyes darkened to a deeper shade of purple, making it hard for me to breathe. “I’ll try harder to work on that.” His voice was low, gentle.

  I cleared my throat again to find my voice. “No need to change on my account I was just making an observation, speaking truth. Isn’t that what faeries do?” I made a face. “I recall you labeling me as a mutt, once upon a time. But you were only speaking the truth, right?”

  His index finger tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I suppose looking back, mutt was the wrong term to use.”

  “So nice of you to acknowledge that now.”

  He leaned in and murmured, “Better late than never.”

  I took in a small breath, but I didn’t want to step back and reveal to him how much his closeness made me nervous.

  The corner of his mouth turned up, and he began walking away. “We’ll check on you later. Have a good night, Your Highness.”

  I knocked my head back in annoyance and sighed. “Night, Kai.”

  • • •

  I felt the rhythmic pounding of his feet on the soil as he ran with me in his arms. “You’re mine now.” His voice slithered into my ear as he breathed on my neck. “The things I could do to change your world.”

  I flailed in Favner’s arms. “Let me go,” I demanded. “Stop! Get your hands off of me!”

  He snickered and drew me closer to his chest, his hands wandering. “You’re simply too divine to toss away.” His nose ran up my skin and I recoiled.

  I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I opened my mouth wider and tried with all my might to let my vocal chords wail, but they were silent. Favner continued to laugh and helplessness set in. Where was Kai? This was his cue. He was supposed to come now. Favner ran farther and farther, holding me closely, as he inhaled the scent of my neck and escaped with me deeper into the woodlands.

  Suddenly everything shifted and Favner had Kai by the throat. The dagger pressed firmly there. Kai’s eyes were on me. “Why won’t you look at me, Kai?” Favner demanded. “Look me in the eye. I want to look you dead in the eye when I kill you, just like I did your father. I want to see the life leave your eyes.”

  Kai looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry I failed you, Calliope.”

  “No, no! Kai! KAI!”

  I thrashed, gasping awake.

  “Calliope,” a voice urged. “Calliope, stop!” My eyes adjusted to the darkness in my room to see Kai kneeling beside my bed. His hands restrained my wrists above my head. We stared in silence for a moment until he said, “Now, I’ll let you go if you promise to stop flailing your arms and trying to hit me in the face.”

  “I … I just …” I blinked and tried to catch my breath. I nodded, and slowly he released me. As I sat up, he sat back on his heels to give me space. “I …” I felt so disoriented.

  “You must have been having quite the nightmare.”

  I ran my hand down my face. “It felt so real.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked softly with real concern.

  “I’m fine.” I exhaled and looked around my dark bedroom. It was still the middle of the night. “What are you doing here?”

  “I told you I would check on you later. Declan and I have been taking turns for the night shift. I heard you screaming.”

  That’s ironic since I couldn’t scream in my nightmare. “Sorry. I’m fine. I just need to get some water, and then I’ll be okay.” I began tossing off my covers.

  “Stay here. I’ll get you some.” Kai stood and went into my bathroom. He came back with a wooden cup full of cool water.

  I took it gratefully. “Thanks.”

  “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”

  “Just Favner,” I muttered.

  He nodded with understanding and then let a slow smile form on his lips. “Next time, if you want to grab my attention, just say my name. No need to scream it.”

  Thankfully it was pitch black because I know my cheeks flushed red. But it didn’t really matter if he could see it. My face probably said it all.

  He chuckled as he walked toward my bedroom door. “Try to get some sleep, Your Highness. Though, you’ll probably have a better night sleep if you’re not dreaming about me. I can be a little distracting.”

  I lifted my hand to throw my cup at him, but he ducked out with a crooked smile before I got the chance to use my horrible aim.

  Chapter Six

  There really wasn’t much time wasted before Desmond and Cora’s bonding. After only a few days the big day was planned. It was understandable that they didn’t want to wait any longer, but jeez that was quick. I don’t know exactly how much preparation went into the day, but with only a few days notice I couldn’t imagine that it was going to be very extravagant. Or maybe Cora had been planning it for the last twenty years in her head and knew exactly what needed to be done.

  While passing her in the open meadow outside of the castle I had asked her if there was anything I could do to help, and she looked at me like I had two heads. “My Queen, I would never expect anything like that from you. I’m just grateful for your blessing.”

  “I really don’t mind lending a hand if you need anything. Where I come from brides are always so stressed. They have a huge bridal party to take the load off of the bride. Not to say you don’t have a lot of help, but I wanted you to know I’m willing.”

  Her puzzled face nodded, but she didn’t give me any responsibilities. So I made my exit as to not make a further fool of myself. I wished I had asked Declan more about the details of a bonding then I would have known more about what to expect. I would know more about what was expected of me.

  “Do I have to do anything for the bonding?” When I caught sight of Declan off to the side of the meadow, guarding me, I pulled him aside. “I’m not expected to perform the bonding or anything like that, am I?”

  He chuckled. “No. Cavan will do that, the one that crowned you. That is his calling. He was named Officiant by your grandfather, and when he passes on you will ask someone else to take his position.”

  “So it’s a lifelong calling to officiate. He’s still a part of a colony though, right?”

  “Yes, Cavan is a Weaver. A very talented one at that.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I thought maybe I’d have to be up front with Desmond and Cora.”

  “You still will. You reign over all ceremonies. If for whatever reason Cavan steps out of line, you must be there to step in.”

  “What?”

  “He won’t.” He chuckled. “It’s just a formality. As Queen, you need to be placed in positions of power to reiterate who is
in control.”

  I took in his words and bit my tongue. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “I thought you’d fight me a little more on that one.” He eyed me skeptically.

  “I’ve decided to pick my battles wisely.”

  “Oh no, what do I have to prepare myself for?” He smirked jokingly.

  “You won’t even know until it hits you.”

  • • •

  Evan placed me off to the side at the head of the gathering in an ornately carved wooden chair woven with twigs and blossoms. Thankfully, I wasn’t front and center. It felt inappropriate enough to have me at the front at all. It wasn’t my bonding. I wasn’t performing the ceremony. But I would respect this custom. Eventually I would get used to it.

  Eventually.

  It wasn’t long before I heard a hitch in Desmond’s breath and looked to see Cora appear at the back of the fae. He gazed at her with undeniable adoration. I went weak in the knees for her.

  Cora wore a cream empire waist dress that fell mid-calf, layered pieces swaying gracefully as she walked to meet Desmond. A loose braid crowned her head with a wreath of lilies of the valley atop her bronze hair. Her wings were a light shade of mint, blending perfectly with her coral eyes.

  Her gaze shifted shyly to the ground when I heard him breathe, “Wow.” She was the epitome of grace sauntering down the aisle.

  Hearts full, eyes wet, the hush across the fae was profound. This day was only the beginning of putting Faylinn back together, and everyone was present to witness it.

  When Cora reached Desmond they locked onto each other’s wrist in a Root, facing one another. Cavan spoke, but it all faded into the background as I observed Desmond and Cora wrapped so deeply in the moment. Everything revolving around their bonding was simple. It wasn’t about anything except them. No lavish dresses or diamond rings, just the two of them sealing their fate to one another.

  When the moment came, they exchanged matching wooden bands, sliding them onto one another’s wrists and shared a tender kiss before embracing. And then a cheer so elated resonated across the crowd; I thought my eardrums might burst.

  Declan met me at the front, offering his elbow, and we followed the couple back up the aisle while everyone disbursed to enjoy the food and dance.

  “Zaelae, my brother.” Declan spread his arms to hug Desmond, their palms giving manly pats to the other’s back. “Sister.” He smiled at Cora. “Zaelae.” She stepped forward to embrace him.

  “Thank you, Declan.” She seemed to disappear in the arms of these two brawny brothers.

  “What does zaelae mean?” I asked.

  “It’s basically wishing them well and congratulating them,” Declan explained.

  Allura appeared at Declan’s side and hugged both Cora and Desmond. “You two are just a match made from the Fates,” she said.

  My eyes found their wrists now adorned with identical bands about an inch wide. Their light wooden bands were carved with matching ivy vines.

  “So do we exchange bands rather than rings?” I asked no one in particular. For some reason I was fascinated by the identical bands.

  Desmond and Cora looked at me in confusion as if they thought it should be something I already knew. The others nodded, accustomed to my incessant questioning.

  “Why do we hold wrists in a Root?” Declan tested me, and I felt like a five year old answering my teacher.

  “Our veins are our lifelines,” I repeated what I remembered like a good little student.

  “She’s my lifeline now.” Desmond gathered Cora into his arms, kissing her forehead.

  “It’s nauseatingly symbolic, is it not?” Kai commented. My eyes shot to the sound of his familiar voice and saw him leaning against the nearest trunk. Though I knew he was always near, he definitely made it a point to keep himself undetected when he was.

  “I actually think it’s kind of sweet.” I looked pointedly at him. “What’s wrong with having a reminder of your reason for living?”

  “Wow, Queeny,” Allura interjected with the rise of an eyebrow. “I didn’t take you for such a romantic.”

  I shrugged. “I just think it’s nice to get to be with the one person you love more than anything and know they feel the same way.”

  “It is,” Cora agreed, peering up at Desmond. “Des, how about we dance a little bit and then head home?”

  “Whatever you want, Cora.” He took hold of her hand, and they faded into the crowd.

  “It only made sense for them to be the first,” Allura dreamily said as we watched them retreat. “It’s about time they finally get to be with each other.”

  “Yeah,” Declan said somberly as he watched his brother and, now, sister mingle blissfully with everyone. Watching their happiness left an ache in my heart. Would I ever get the opportunity to be as happy as they were? Would any of us?

  I shifted my gaze to the tree and saw Kai’s eyes were not on them but on me. His eyes didn’t shy away, and neither did mine. I wished I could read his thoughts to know what was running through his mind when he looked at me like that. There wasn’t any way to really describe it. It wasn’t any one emotion I could pin point. It was everything all at once, drowning me in an ocean of sensations of which I never wanted to let go.

  Finally, he broke the connection, altering his stare to the gathering of fae with indifference and then left in the opposite direction without a word.

  “Let’s get in on this celebration, shall we?” Allura beamed. She reached out and took my hand, dragging me into the crowd to dance. If dancing would clear my mind, I would dance all night.

  Chapter Seven

  All night long I had stayed awake in bed thinking about bonding. As a Royal what colony was I allowed to bond with? Kai and Declan had made it pretty clear that because of the law, I would never be able to be with either of them, not that I had let my thoughts wander that far into the future with one of them anyway. We were never going to be possible. But after Desmond and Cora’s bonding, it was as if I couldn’t think of anything else.

  Cameron normally would have been my first call when I couldn’t sleep. He would have talked me through this and listened. I wouldn’t have even cared if he didn’t have anything useful to say. I just wanted to hear his voice and to know someone had my back—someone understood how inadequate I felt. Gosh, I missed him.

  As Evan rambled on about I couldn’t even tell you what, that question started to nag at me. Who was I supposed to be bonded to? I hadn’t wanted to seem so eager before when talking about bonding, but this felt like a pretty important topic. How long would it be before they expected me to bond?

  “Evan,” I interjected, cutting him off. He shut his mouth and stopped pacing around the chamber or atrium or whatever I was supposed to call it. “If everyone else has a colony to bond in, when the time comes who can I bond with?”

  He took a moment to take in what I had asked. I’m sure I was completely off topic. Though he should have been irritated with my interruption, he merely blinked and shifted gears. “Before Favner it was customary for the Royals to bond with Royals from the other kingdoms. By tying powers it creates a unity between kingdoms, encouraging us all to keep the peace. It’s a reminder that we once came from the same place, even though we live in different kingdoms now and believe different things.”

  “I have to bond with someone from another kingdom? How’s that going to work? There can’t be that many Royals.”

  “I estimate there are about twenty to twenty-five eligible Royals.”

  This just keeps getting better and better. “Are you telling me that not only can I not bond with someone from Faylinn, but that there are only a handful that I can even choose from?”

  I could tell he didn’t know how to respond to my bluntness, so he only nodded.

  “And what if I don’t want to marry another Royal?”

  He began shaking his head. “That … that’s never happened in the history of our existence.”r />
  “But can it be done?”

  Apprehension showed on his face when he realized how serious I was. “I don’t think it would go over well with the other kingdoms. Even if you made it acceptable for all colonies to bond outside of their true colony, as I know you would like, you fall under a separate category, My Queen. You are a Royal. In order for you to have a choice every kingdom must agree to it.”

  I had to get permission from six separate individuals before I could bond with someone I loved? “And why should they get a say? They chose to break away from Faylinn. Why is it our responsibility to bond with them? Their opinions should be moot.”

  “Your Grace, it’s simply the way it is. I didn’t make the rules. They’ve been in place for centuries now and have always been honored.”

  “I understand the sacred nature in which they stand, but I don’t understand why I should have to suffer in order to appease a group of faeries who were the ones to rebel in the first place. Why should they get to make their own rules, while we are forced to abide by the same ancient ones put in place ages ago? It’s hypocrisy.”

  “You’re speaking blasphemy, Your Highness,” he said calmly.

  “I think I’m speaking logically and fairly. Whose side are you on anyway, Evan?” I realized then that my voice had risen to a ridiculously loud level.

  “Yours, My Queen. Always,” he said immediately and bowed.

  I sighed, frustrated with myself for going all royally high and mighty on a man who had done nothing but try to help me. “Calliope,” I said, resigned.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Will you not call me Your Majesty or Your Highness or any other form of royal respect? I understand royal formality, but when it’s only the two of us, will you please not? It makes me uncomfortable.”

  “As you wish.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Evan. Can we be done for the day?” My brain couldn’t handle anything else.

  His lips pursed, unhappy with my abrupt decision, but he conceded. “Yes, Calliope.” He bent at the waist, while retreating quickly out the atrium doors.