Havoc and Mayhem

by Derrick A. Bonner

  “Also, around my family Mayhem is May.”

  “You’re weird. But what does that make me?” Donnie giggled and hung up the phone.

  Tommy hung up pondering the situation. Was Donnie the yin to his yang? He remembered feeling like this once before and having someone feel that same way about him. It was when he was in love with Nicky. But he couldn’t be in love with Donnie, could he?

  As he sat on the edge of the bed rubbing his knee pondering, Tommy looked over at his dog. Mayhem was looking out the window with her huge paws rested on the sill. Her long head extended through the gap looking down on the Manhattan skyline.

  “What’s the matter with me girl? Am I losing it or what?” He asked his best friend. Mayhem came over and wagged her tail receiving a pat. She loved him so much that he sometimes felt unworthy of her worship. He reached over and picked up a box of Milk Bone dog biscuits off the floor and she became excited. He gave her one of the treats and she quickly devoured it. “Damn! Are they that good?” he asked then took another one out the box, sniffed it, and took a tiny nibble. “You know it is kinda good.” Tommy said and Mayhem started barking in protest. “Stop being stingy I share my beer with you don’t I?” He laughed and decided he would sort out this thing with Donnie later then dialed Nicky’s number.

  “Hunter residence.” Corbin answered.

  Tommy laughed. “Yo man why Nicky got you answering the phone on some Mister Belvedere shit?”

  “It’s a little something I like to call phone etiquette-Nicolette, telephone!” Corbin hissed.

  Tommy could hear a lot of people in the background as Nicky asked who was on the phone. Corbin made a snooty sound like he was clearing his throat and handed it over. From Corbin’s response she knew immediately who it was.

  “Hello Tommy.”

  “Hey wa’sup, the caterers there?”

  “Yes. They’re setting up now and the DJ just arrived. Your mother wants to know what time you’re going to get here.”

  “Lemme talk to her.”

  “You just missed her. She and Tee-Tee went to pick up Nanna and Papa Smurf.”

  “Oh Okay. So she met Cornball huh?”

  Nicky sighed. “Corbin. And yes.”

  “And?” Tommy asked.

  Nicky went into the kitchen dragging the long telephone cord behind her. “And what? You know she wouldn’t approve no matter who he is. She wants us back together.”

  “Yeah well.”

  “Well nothing. I love your mother don’t get me wrong. But it really doesn’t matter what she thinks. I’m seeing Corbin and it’s as simple as that. And while we’re on the subject, you aren’t planning on bringing your dog are you?”

  “Why?”

  “Corbin isn’t fond of dogs.”

  “Hilarious.”

  “What’s so funny? Plenty of people are scared of dogs.”

  “And their shadows. Anything else I should be informed of?”

  “No but why didn’t you inform me that your friend isn’t coming?”

  “Carla?” he said obviously.

  “Who else?”

  “Hey did somebody pick up the other phone?” Tommy asked suddenly.

  Nicky became silent for a moment listening out. “No.”

  “Oh, because you know how your boyfriend likes to eavesdrop.”

  “Tommy nobody’s eavesdropping. Now tell me about your friend!” Nicky asked slightly agitated.

  “You sure he didn’t pick up?”

  “Tommy!”

  “Okay, Okay! Donnie will be coming after all.”

  “Oh…Is that right?…That’s nice.” Nicky’s voice said but her tone said different.

  Tommy didn’t expect her to do handstands but he also didn’t expect her to be so blasé. It was as if she was happy when she heard Donnie wasn’t coming and now she was disappointed that she was. While he pondered over his realization, the phone clicked very lightly as if someone were doing their best to hang up the other line without making a sound.

  “Now tell me you ain’t hear that.” Tommy said.

  “I didn’t hear anything Tommy.” Nicky said.

  Corbin suddenly walked into the room dressed in a sharp looking suit. “Are you still on the phone with Tommy?”

  “Yeah why?” Nicky asked.

  “Please tell him to forgive me if I am a bit too over dressed for his sister’s soiree, but I came here straight from a meeting at work. I’ll feel just awful if everyone were to compare us based on my tailor-made Brooks Brothers suit versus what he pulls from his closet.” He laughed and walked back out the room. After that Nicky was convinced Corbin was not permanent. In fact, she wanted to tell him he could leave but she needed someone on her arm when Tommy’s new friend showed up.

  Tommy sucked his teeth. After the last time Nicky put him in his place about Corbin and his ego he decided to keep his comments to himself, besides she’d see it for herself eventually. “Well anyway, when my mom gets back tell her that I will be there in an hour, aight. Later!” Tommy said and hung up. As he passed the punching bag he tagged it with a solid right hook sending vibrations through the floor and sprinkling sand on the floor. He went over to his closet mumbling under his breath and pulled out two garment bags and a shoebox then placed them on his bed. Mayhem came over wagging her tail to see what he was up to. “So Cornball wants to battle who’s got the freshest vines? Somebody should’a warned him!” Tommy said with a devilish grin.

  Chapter 13

  Less than one minute old, Tatiana Strong was wonderful, precious and made from love. Her first word was ‘Remarkable’. Her mother read somewhere that babies should be taught to say words that have at least three or four syllables. So at night Carla would stand over her daughter’s bassinet and say, ‘re-mar-ka-ble’, ‘be-au-ti-ful’ and ‘mag-ni-fi-cent’. It was the portent of things to come.

  Carla loved both her children tremendously and was equally proud of them both, but it was frustrating to have to fight with her son tooth and nail to get him to turn off the TV and pick up a book. Fortunately, she didn’t have that problem with her daughter Tatiana, ‘Tee-Tee’ for short. Tee-Tee loved school and was always winning some type of academic award or certificate for her achievements. As she and Tommy got older their conflicting attitudes towards higher learning resulted in matches of sibling rivalry but no matter how many dictionary sized words Tee-Tee threw at her brother, when it was all said and done he had the option of going to see his girlfriend Nicky or hanging out with his friends. Alas she did not have that luxury because her intense study habits made her a social leper.

  At school Tee-Tee was the one who annoyed her fellow students when she asked for extra-credit homework assignments, aced all her tests, won science fairs and spent all her free time in the library. Guys never approached her because regardless of how beautiful she was all she ever talked about were topics school related. Girls were either jealous of her beauty or thought she was too nerdy to hang with. Even though the other kids avoided her like the plague Tee-Tee didn’t care what they thought about her. Her idea of fun was reading about far and distant lands or figuring out complicated mathematical equations, not jumping up and down in miniskirts and shaking pom-poms while acting dizzy whenever pimply faced-boys with a mouth full of train-tracks walked by. In fact, none of the boys at Canarsie High School interested her. Then her attitude changed that fateful day her teacher introduced the new kid, Lance Cooley to her class and her books before boys theory, went out the window.

  Lance moved from Philadelphia to Brooklyn in the middle of the semester and within his first week made more friends than Tatiana had during her entire academic career. Cooler than Shaft and dreamier than Billy Dee Williams, he was tall, muscular and handsome with smooth ebony skin and a perfect ivory smile. A sharp dresser and natural born comedian, Lance could sing and dance like he was signed to Motown and was a threat on the basketball court. Everyone liked him even the teachers and Principal. All the girl
s were fighting for his attention and the hip guys welcomed him into the fold right off the back. But what made Lance stand out from all the other popular kids was that he was smart. Real smart. And the fact he could be accepted in their exclusive world and still get straight ‘A’s’ gave the nerds hope.

  Tee-Tee had a major crush on Lance but did not think she had a snowballs chance in hell with all the fashionistas mimicking Pam Grier’s provocative style in hopes he would notice. Then one day while she was walking home someone called her name. She turned around and it was Lance, looking as dapper as ever. At first she thought there must be someone standing behind her with the same name until he came over and began speaking. He asked if he could carry her books and walk her home. When she noticed all the jealous-faces looking appalled, she held her head high and graciously accepted. By the time they reached her front step they had a date planned for that Friday evening. It turned out that although Lance liked hanging out with the popular kids when it came to dating he preferred his girlfriend to have brains as well as beauty. Tatiana had both.

  All weeklong all Tee-Tee could think about was her date on Friday with Lance. During the week he had come by the house for dinner and met with her parents. After standing strong against the intimidating glares and intense grilling from her overprotective father and brother and holding an intelligent conversation with her mother, her parents agreed, Lance was the perfect gentleman to take their daughter out on her first date. Even Tommy had to admit he was cool.

  Friday or as she excitedly referred to it Fri-yay, finally came and Carla, assisted by Tommy’s girlfriend Nicky, helped Tee-Tee out with her hair and make-up. The past week had been extra stressful for Carla who in addition to having to accept her baby girl was growing up also had put her differences aside with her children’s father so he could come by and meet with Lance and give his daughter a proper sending off into the wonderful world of teen dating. Downstairs the Strong men informed Lance that they were entrusting him with the most important sixteen-year old on the planet and if he stepped out of line there was no place he could hide from them. Lance respectively assured them that they had nothing to worry about because he was and would remain a perfect gentleman.

  Tee-Tee cleared her throat and asked her father and brother to stop interrogating her date. All three men stood and Smitty instantly whipped out his Polaroid OneStep camera and began flashing away. It was the first time Tommy did not have any wise cracks to say about his little sister. She was a vision of beauty. Adorned in her Mother’s heart shaped locket and a dress Cinderella would be envious of, Tatiana was a vision of beauty. Lance felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He promised his date’s family that he would have their precious cargo home by eleven sharp and they left arm in arm.

  As they approached the bus stop Lance led Tee-Tee past it and towards a sleek royal-blue Thunderbird parked across the street. He told her that since this was such a special night he snuck his father’s car keys out of his coat while he was on the couch counting sheep. Tee-Tee was not sure this was such a good idea, but Lance assured her that he had been swiping his father’s car since he was a kid and was an excellent driver. She still was not convinced then Lance flashed his sexy convincing smile. After that Tee-Tee was adjusting the passenger seat to accommodate her petite frame. But still unable to shake that bad feeling.

  The night was what every first date should be. Fun, exciting and memorable. They went bowling, shared a personal pizza, then drove out to Jones beach and walked along the shore holding hands. It was definitely worthy of a few pages in her diary. The night was going so well and they seemed so compatible that Lance suddenly turned to Tee-Tee and asked if she would be his steady. Without hesitation she said yes and they sealed it with a long passionate kiss. It was Tee-Tee’s first kiss and when she squeezed her eyes shut she could see fireworks just like on the tv show Love American Style.

  Lance glanced down at his watch and his jaw dropped. He only had fifteen minutes to get Tee-Tee home. They rushed to his car and he sped off trying to beat the clock. He was not about to start things off on the wrong foot with the parents of his brand new girlfriend! Then in the blink of an eye promise turned to tragedy. The light up ahead was turning red, there was no way he’d make it, if he was in any other car besides a Thunderbird that is. Lance winked at his girlfriend then shifted gears slammed his foot on the gas and darted ahead. By the time they realized they were in the path of an oncoming sixteen-wheeler there wasn’t anything either driver could do about it. The truck rammed into the driver’s side with a magnificent force that sent Lance and Tee-Tee flipping out of control. By the time the paramedics arrived the Thunderbird was demolished, Lance was dead and Tee-Tee was in a coma. The news hit her family like the impact of two trucks colliding head-on.

  Weeks turned to months and Tatiana Strong still lay dormant in her hospital bed hooked up to all types of machinery. Her family visited her round the clock and prayed constantly for her to awake from her deep sleep. Then one day her eyes miraculously opened and she sat up. At first everyone was excited their prayers were finally answered until she spoke and then they realized the bright gifted young woman with her whole life ahead of her was gone forever.

  As a result of the crash Tatiana obtained irreparable and permanent brain damage and for a long time she was unable to present her thoughts coherently or even clothed in words that aptly conveyed their meaning. It wasn’t easy but everyone pulled together and adjusted to the new, younger-behaving, tantrum-throwing Tee-Tee. Some days were easier than others were, but all were tough. Home attendants came by every day to work with Tee-Tee and she had to relearn basic skills like using utensils and tying her shoelaces on her own. Some times when Carla watched her daughter struggling to use a knife and fork she thought about the surgeon she could have been and would burst into tears. Smitty dealt with his pain by showering his daughter with all the toys and anything else she wanted. Losing his baby sister had a profound effect on Tommy. But he refused to give grief the satisfaction of ripping him apart and instead went with the flow. Sometimes he would read her ‘Flat Stanley, Curious George and the Man with the Yellow Hat’ or ‘Snowy Day’ by Ezra Jack Keats doing all the different voices. She loved when he did that and no matter what, he loved her…

  Sister Sledge appropriately sang ‘We are family’ as countless friends and family members celebrated Tee-Tee’s twenty-fifth birthday. Nana and Grandpa Smurf cuddled in the love seat feeling no pain as they sipped rum and coke. Cousin Marie and her latest boyfriend Dennis chased behind her twins Desiree and Destiny. Olivia used any and every opportunity to show off her engagement ring and her Doctor fiancé Hector. Guy, recently released from juvey felt like a kid in a candy store as he gorged himself on food and drinks. Lil’ Dee pushed the furniture out of the way and entertained everyone with his break dancing and pop-locking skills. Cameron walked around with his petite redheaded white fiancé who looked like the girl from Small Wonder on his arm grinning like he struck gold. Aunt Mary, Aunt Cookie and Carla were joking and laughing and Smitty stood in a huddle with some of his old buddies drinking pot liquor. Every now and then he and Carla would steal doting glances at each other from across the room giving family members something to whisper about. Nicky had forgotten how much she missed Tee-Tee and was catching up on lost time. Off to the side Corbin stood with his nose turned up like everyone had some life threatening disease and he was worried he might catch it.

  Carla came over to where Nicky and Tee-Tee were playing Connect Four and kissed her ex-daughter in law on the cheek. “I can’t thank you enough for allowing my baby to have her party here.

  “Oh Mommy. I’m not a little baby no more.” Tee-Tee fussed and crammed a fistful of Pop-rocks into her mouth.

  “Whatever you say baby.” Carla smiled then turned to Nicky. “Everything’s wonderful! I tell you, it feels so good to get this many black folk together under one roof without it being a funeral.”

  “Amen to that Miss Pinkney.” Nicky s
aid. She envied how big and close Tommy’s family was and since her own family was spread out over the states and spoke only on holidays she enjoyed having a house full of down-home warm black folks.

  “Connect four!” Tee-Tee yelled and began clapping and pointing at the row of red checkers.

  Carla shot Nicky an odd look. “Nicky as long as I’ve known you, you’ve called me Ma. Now just cause you two lost your minds and split up don’t mean you have to stop. So you keep on calling me Ma okay?” She said sternly.

  Nicky nodded and smiled. Carla had been there so many times for her in the past when her own mother hadn’t that she loved her like she was a second mother. “Yes Ma’am. I mean Ma.”

  Carla smiled, “That’s more like it. Now what’s taking Tommy so long to get here?”

  “He should’ve been here by now.” Nicky said wondering the same thing herself.

  “Y’all looking for Tommy?” Guy asked down on one knee cleaning his sneaker with a toothbrush. He was big, brown and built like the Chicago Bears running back William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry. “Yes. You spoke to him?” Carla asked.

  “Yeah, my bad Auntie Cee, I forgot to tell you. I was coming out the bathroom when the phone rang and answered it. He said to tell y’all that he’s running late cause he had to make a stop and pick up Tee-Tee’s gift.”

  “Cousin Guy, what’d my brother get me?” Tee-Tee asked excitedly.

  “Dunno Half-Pint, he ain’t say.” Guy shrugged his shoulders.

  “Now why did Tommy wait to the last minute to get her gift? I swear that son of mines.” Carla sighed then noticed Corbin standing in the back being antisocial. “Nicky, I know I said I’d mind my business about you and Tommy’s personal lives, but this new guy you’re dating. I don’t know. He takes himself way too seriously. Look at him standing there, like he’s too good for us common black folks. He’s so full of himself he needs to hang a cup outside of his ass just to catch the excess.”

  Nicky had to chuckle at that one. Corbin was being an extra jerk today and she was embarrassed. She felt like going over and telling him to go but she decided she would wait until the party was over and everyone had left.