Scooter

by Marie James

  We have a debriefing in ten minutes, but I can’t seem to pull myself from her bed. Each time I shift my weight, she whimpers and holds on to me tighter.

  An hour passes, and I’m reluctant to leave, but we’re pulling out and leaving Miami in fifteen minutes. In a deep enough sleep that her arms fall away from me when I stand, I press my lips to Mia’s forehead and whisper encouraging words to her. She’s asleep, but with any luck, they’ll seep into her consciousness and ease some of her suffering.

  Without a word, I nod to her parents and leave the room.

  Max catches me in the hall, shaking my hand and thanking me for helping his sister. Even though it’s out of character for me, I offer him my phone number and let him add his into my contacts, telling him that if he needs anything else, not to hesitate to reach out. It’s more of a placation than anything. His sister will eventually heal, even though I know it’s going to be a long, uphill battle.

  I can finally take a deep breath when the front doors of the hospital open with a whoosh, and I step outside. I’m fifteen feet from the freedom of the SUVs when my phone chirps a text. Normally, I’d ignore it until we’re on the road, but with the sound comes an uneasy feeling that settles in my gut, and when I pull my phone from my pocket, that instinct is confirmed.

  Max: She needs you, man. She woke up screaming again.

  I lift my eyes to the guys waiting for me, finding Kincaid’s. He must have heard what happened in Mia’s room during the debriefing with the other guys because he gives me a nod, and it’s all that I need to turn back around.

  My parents will be sad I won’t make Christmas, but there’s something more important that I have to take care of. I don’t feel an ounce of irritation as I head back into the hospital, and the guys pull away from the curb.

  Leaving her bed was harder than it was to pass her off to the medics back at the compound, but it’s the knowledge that each time I have to walk away from her will only be harder makes me slow my steps as I close the distance between me and her room.

  I vow to give her a week tops before I explain that I have a life to get back to.

  What I don’t anticipate is feeling like a week with her will never be enough.

  Chapter 2

  Mia

  Closing my eyes is the worst.

  When I’m no longer able to resist and sleep takes over is when the demons return.

  It’s when I’m thrown back into the nightmare, I feel like I’ll never be able to rid myself of completely.

  It’s when the hands and sneering faces of my captors once again get ahold of me.

  It’s when the smells and the sounds of the whimpering women infiltrate my head.

  It’s the destruction of my body, my mind, and my soul.

  I jolt awake before the man with the scars on his face can drag me back to his lair, and I wake up in the warm and protective arms of Ryan. He’s the only one who makes the fear manageable. He’s the only one I want near me. And even though I question my sanity for clinging to this stranger, he’s the only person who quiets the screams and the terror coursing through my head.

  It’s all coming to an end today. I’ve heard my parents and my dead brother speaking about my discharge. The thought of Ryan leaving my side frightens me more than the car ride I took seven weeks ago with my head covered in a cloth bag so thick my own breaths were stifled until I thought I’d die of asphyxiation.

  Max isn’t supposed to be here, and yet his presence is a constant reminder that nothing makes sense anymore. He speaks to me, reminding me of all the things I lost when my twin died in a car accident a decade ago. His death, the loss of half of who I am, was a blow I never thought I’d recover from. And even though he’s said the words, even though he whispered the entire story of what happened ten years ago, I still can’t let myself believe that he’s really here.

  Men don’t come back from the dead, a fact I’ve repeated over and over in my head since Ryan told me all of the men at the compound were now worm food. They haunt me in my nightmares, but they can no longer hurt me while I’m awake. It’s a small consolation for what has happened since I decided to make a quick stop at the mall on my way home from work.

  That day plays on repeat even when I try my hardest to think of anything else.

  I’ve tried to change the scenario in my mind. I walk away from the smiling handsome guy in the parking lot rather than speak to him about his car trouble. I refuse to help him when he winks at me with a dangerous smirk.

  Hell, I even recreate my home life, trying to convince myself that Jason was around more often rather than spending all of his free time at the office, so I wasn’t enthralled with the good-looking guy because I had a doting fiancé waiting for me.

  But it always ends the same. I still walk to his car so he can get a jack for my flat tire. I still end up with a bag over my head and rough hands on my back as he tied me up and shoved me in the trunk. I still end up at the mercy of men who don’t listen to the word no. I still end up being used, hurt, and vowed to that I’ll never see my family or the light of day ever again.

  I believed those men because they made promises that they kept. They told me that they’d hurt me, and they did. They told me that I'd never be the same, and I know that’s as true as I know that I’m leaving here today whether I want to or not. They told me I’d die in that compound, and even though I’m on the other side of their torment, I know I’m dead.

  I feel it bone-deep, the emptiness and despair.

  I feel the pain and degradation of what happened to my body against my will.

  I feel cold and indifferent to what happens next. I’m buried under my racing thoughts and inability to heal on the inside.

  But even though I don’t care what happened because I’ve suffered things no person should, I still hold on to Ryan like he’s my buoy in a sea of doubt and anguish. He’s the only thing keeping me rooted to the here and now. It’s not my mother or father, not the specter of my twin coming back to life, and it surely isn’t Jason, whom I haven’t seen since I woke up from surgery days ago.

  I blink my eyes open, visually verifying that my anchor is still at my side even though I can feel the warmth of his body against mine.

  The people around me talk as if I’m not there, and I know it’s because they think I’m so lost in my head that I’m not paying attention, but vigilance is the only reason they didn’t pull my body, dead and rotting, from the compound. Giving up now seems like the best idea, but while there, all I wanted was to be free. All I wanted was the do-over that I was never afforded while I was their toy to play with and abuse. The undertaking seems like too much work, so I hold on to him harder and bury my nose in his shirt.

  His hand, the same one that reached for me while I cowered in that dark room, runs the length of my back, and it’s comforting, but it’s his words, his simple tales of childhood and every minute detail of his life before today that calms me. I know more about Ryan Gabhart, Scooter to his MC friends, than I do about my own fiancé, and that’s telling.

  “They’re going to release you today, Mia,” Ryan whispers as my parents and Max argue over what happens next.

  I hold him tighter, refusing to acknowledge the pain in my broken arm. It’s nothing compared to the dread settling over me at the thought of not having him.

  “She’s coming home with us,” Pa declares. “It’s where she needs to be.”

  Home is where I was abducted. If I never step foot on Louisiana soil again in my life, it’ll be too soon.

  “Mia?” Ryan nudges my head with his shoulder, but I refuse to lift it.

  I haven’t said a word to him; not one single phrase has left my mouth since seeing the halo of light around him as he lifted me from the floor and carried me to safety. It hasn’t, however, kept him from speaking to me like he hasn’t been carrying on a one-sided conversation for days.

  “Mia?” He nudges me again, and I know if I don’t look up at him, he’s only going to continue to do the very same
thing until I give him my attention. What the man doesn’t know is that he’s had my undivided attention all along.

  I take in the dark scruff on his face. It’s only grown thicker as he has stayed by my side constantly. Tattoos peek out from the V-neck of his t-shirt, and although I’m curious, it’s his dark eyes peering down at me that garners all of my attention. They’re filled with a sincerity I’ve never seen before, and it’s what I focused on when he and his team came into that room. The gear and guns should’ve scared me, and at first they did, but then he crouched low and spoke my name, and I swore he was some sort of avenging angel sent to emancipate me from Hell.

  And he did all of that and more. I know he doesn’t have to sit with me. He could’ve easily ignored me when I reached for him that first time. He could’ve let the doctors sedate me like they were discussing when I reached for him again only moments after waking to find him gone.

  “They’re going to discharge you this afternoon,” he repeats, his voice calming and soft. “Do you understand?”

  I nod, knowing what’s going to happen and hating the world for it.

  “Your parents want you to go home.”

  My eyes dart across the room, finding my dad holding onto my sobbing mother. I think she’s cried more tears since I woke up than I did the entire time I was gone, and that’s saying a lot since my face was constantly wet.

  “Is that what you want?”

  My head shakes violently.

  “Where do you want to go?”

  I cling to him again, but he nudges my chin with his strong hand when I try to bury my face in his chest.

  “Where, Mia? Where will you feel safe?”

  My throat is drier than I realize when I open my mouth to speak. It takes a few tries before I’m able to speak. Short of my screaming fits a few days ago; I haven’t spoken at all.

  “With you,” I finally manage. “I want to be with you.”

  Silence fills the room, but I don’t have to look at my family to know they are staring at me. Sensing eyes on me was one of the first skills I honed after being abducted. Drawing attention to yourself always meant bad news, and even now, in the safety of his arms and under the scrutiny of his dark eyes, terror once again fills my blood. My heart begins to race, and I’m thankful that the monitors have been removed because otherwise, everyone in this room would know how scared I was becoming. They’d see my weakness and use it against me.

  “Shh,” Ryan coos as he places his warm palm on my neck and urges me against his chest. I go willingly, knowing that I’m safe in the cocoon of his arms.

  “That’s not going to happen,” Max hisses after a long silent moment.

  “She needs to be with her family,” Pa adds.

  “I can take care of her,” Ma says on another sob.

  I love my mother dearly, and I know her heart is in the right place even though it’s broken into tiny shreds, but the incessant crying is driving me up the wall. She doesn’t have a clear picture of what happened to me, and I never want her to, but I listened to constant crying for weeks. Every day was filled with the tears and pleas of broken women who had no other recourse to survival other than weeping the time away. I’ve had more than enough of it.

  The tremors start in my hands, and before long, they’ve made their way into my arms and down my spine until my body is shaking uncontrollably. My teeth chatter as if I’m stuck in the tundra with nothing to protect my skin from the freezing temps, and I doubt I’ll ever be warm again.

  “Jason misses her and is expecting her home,” Ma whispers.

  “Fuck him,” Max spits, and if I weren’t a shivering mess, I might have smiled at his outburst.

  I don’t miss Jason at all. I don’t miss his arms around me or the huge rock he put on my finger months ago. I don’t miss the way he’d parade me around his friends and at parties, showing me off like a prized cow rather than the love of his life. Before he even proposed, I had begun to feel like I was just another steppingstone, just another expectation from his bosses at the law firm he’s been trying to make partner at for the last three years. Established men in law were supposed to be married, and having a couple of kids to pose for the Christmas card was an added bonus.

  “She’s going to New Mexico.”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely not!” Max yells. “She needs to be home with her family.”

  “You want to talk about what your family needs?” Ryan seethes, but I hear his jaw snap forcibly shut when I twist his shirt in my hand. “It’s not a discussion. It’s what she wants.”

  Chapter 3

  Scooter

  “You’re going to love New Mexico,” I tell Mia as we load into the shuttle. “The weatherman is predicting a dusting of snow later this week. I know that’s probably hard to think about considering it’s over seventy degrees here in Florida, but we’ll need to grab you a jacket at the airport.”

  Her brother rolls his eyes before focusing out the window.

  For all the protesting Max did at the hospital, he hasn’t said a negative word since we left yesterday. He didn’t even complain about sleeping on the couch in the hotel room we got last night a mile from the airport when we discovered that all flights to New Mexico were full. It didn’t keep his eyes from glaring at me when I climbed in bed with Mia and let her wrap herself around me.

  One snide comment about that shit, and I would’ve knocked his damn head off. The man doesn’t know me, but he’s well aware of the reputation of the Cerberus men. He should know that I don’t take what’s going on with Mia lightly, and even though she’s still gorgeous even with her broken arm and bruise-covered face, I’m not an opportunist willing to compromise her mental health for a little grinding.

  Even though there will be nothing more between Mia and me than offering her the comfort she only seems to find with me, I’m not bitter or even agitated with her neediness. I feel inadequate most days when even my arms around her doesn’t seem to be enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

  Last night was worse rather than better as I’d hoped. I figured the quiet would soothe her, but the room is darker, and the lack of activity just made it easier to hear the sporadic noises that accompany a hotel. I would’ve gotten the presidential suite at the most expensive hotel in town if I thought it would ease her even a little.

  She refused the clothes her mother brought her, and she somehow ended up in my sleep pants and t-shirt. I offered to stand guard outside of the bathroom door while she showered because she began shaking like a leaf again when I suggested the warm water would feel amazing. She dragged me inside the bathroom and locked the door, so I stood with my back to her, steam filling the room as she took a three-minute shower. Thank fuck, Max had left to go grab food because I probably would’ve gotten my ass kicked for that.

  Warmer than I’m used to air hits us in the face when we climb out of the shuttle. Max hovers near his sister, but she stays at my side. I know it grates on him that he’s not the one she’s leaning on, but he needs to realize that she was abducted thinking he’d been dead for the last ten years. So not only does she have to deal with what happened while she was here, but she also has to wrap her head around the fact that her twin is back amongst the living. Just that alone is enough to make nearly any sane person crazy.

  As I expected, the Miami International Airport is swarmed with people. It’s the day after Christmas and thousands of people are already over the holidays and ready to get back home.

  “Maybe we can get you a pretzel,” I tell her as I urge her toward the security checkpoint. “One of those ones that are crunchy on the outside and all warm and gooey on the inside. I love mine with spicy mustard, but they never seem to have the right kind at the airport.”

  I turn her to face me when her eyes widen at a scruffy man standing in line in front of her. I reposition us so my back is to him, and hers is to Max. She’s wary of her brother but hasn’t shown any signs of being terrified of him.

  “What do you think?” I continue, even though
I know she isn’t going to answer me. For some reason, my voice seems to calm her, and I’ll talk all day long for a hundred years if it keeps her from being afraid. “Maybe you prefer ice cream or one of those two-thousand-calorie cinnamon rolls that taste like heaven but are so bad for you, they have to have been created by the devil himself?”

  “She likes French fries,” Max interjects, but Mia frowns when he speaks.

  “French fries?” I smile at Mia, tossing Max a fucking bone I don’t think he deserves. “We have this cilantro-lime aioli back at the clubhouse that is amazing with French fries, but you have to try it with those huge potato wedges, not those scrimpy little fries. You’ll love it.”

  My heart nearly beats out of my chest when I see a tiny smile tug up the right corner of her mouth. It’s gone in the blink of an eye, but it was there. It’s the first sign of life other than her tears and the trembling of her body when I’m more than a few feet away from her.

  Max nods his head, indicating that it’s our turn to drop our belongings in the bins and walk through the x-ray machine. Mia’s fingers begin to tap on her legs, and I know she’s seconds away from freaking out.

  “You’ve flown before, right? This is no different. We’re going to show our IDs to the gate agent, and then I’m going to go through first. Max will be right behind you. I know he seems a little wimpy compared to me, but he’d never let anyone hurt you. Three minutes tops, and then you’re right by my side. Okay?” I dip lower, forcing her to look me in the eye rather than past me to the conveyor belt waiting for our things.

  She doesn’t speak, but her spine stiffens as she stands up a little straighter, and I take that as her being able to do this. My own nervousness grows as we wait for the belt to clear enough for me to toss my duffel bag up there. I help Mia with her shoes when she makes no effort to take them off herself, before clasping her hand and promising her all sorts of fun and adventures when we get to New Mexico. I keep my eyes on her as I lift my arms to be scanned in the machine and wait impatiently as she follows behind me and does the same.