Once Mated Twice Shy
Page 4
“You’re awake aren’t you?” He pulled out of her and got the wash cloth that he’d used to mop her brow with. He cleaned her gently then wiped himself. She still had not spoken, until…
“I want to go home.” Jordan nodded. “Now Jordan.”
“You can’t. Doc says you stay until the fever breaks.”
“Or until I end up carrying your pup. How many times has this happened?”
“That was the first and last. I swear, but in my defense, it was your idea. You kissed me, you licked me, and you put me inside of you. How can I turn that down? I haven’t had sex in forever, and well, it wasn’t an offer that I could refuse.”
“Bullshit. You were with Aimee just the other day. I saw you.”
“I’ve never been with Aimee, or anyone else for that matter.”
“Another lie. I’ve smelled females on you. The night you left, I scented…”
“No Lettie, I wasn’t with anyone, I carried a she wolf that was strung out on drugs home from the bar but I didn’t sleep with her.”
“I scented booze and a female Jordan. I know what I smelled.”
“Someone spilled a drink on me at the bar that night. What reason do I have to lie now? We aren’t mates anymore so it won’t get me anything. You’re it for me. I wish you’d see that.” His voice was so soft she barely heard him. He was being honest, she felt it. But why didn’t he say all of that before?
“Why not tell me that when it happened?” Her eyes were fiery.
“You didn’t trust me. You weren’t going to believe a word that I said. We were so far away from each other then.” The corner of his mouth dimpled. “I think your fever is breaking. Your body temperature is beginning to feel normal again. If you’d prefer to go to the infirmary, the doc will take care of you there.” She wasn’t sure what she should do. She hated the infirmary with its antiseptic smells.
“Did they catch the guys that did this to me?” Her chin quivered.
“Yeah. They won’t bother you again.” His eyes flashed.
“What happened?” She sat up wrapping her arms around her knees. “What happened to them? I don’t remember much.” Jordan sat up and faced her. Had he lied? Did she kiss him? Did she lick him? Did she? It was a dream. Wasn’t it? No, it was real. He wasn’t lying. Her wolf wanted him. Who was she kidding? She wanted him. She’d always wanted him. It didn’t matter. They were over. It was a momentary lapse in judgment.
“Mister Thompson called me as soon as you hung up. I rallied the betas and we got there within minutes but the damage was done. The rogues had already…” Tears oozed down her cheeks. “Are you sure that you want to hear this?” She nodded. “Okay. We rounded them up and did to them what they did to you.” Her brows knitted. His breath huffed out in a rush. “I used a broomstick to rape each one of them, and then I ripped their throats out.” Lettie cringed and swallowed hard. “I couldn’t let them go after what they’d done to you. I didn’t know if you were going to live through it or not. You’d been brutally raped and beaten. They’d bitten every inch of you. I still don’t understand the reasoning for that.” Lettie moved to get into his lap. Jordan held her while she cried.
“I tried to bite one of them when they were…that’s why they bit me, it was payback.” She sniffled loudly. “I’m sorry.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I should go. My being here must be torture for you. I’m sure you have better things to do besides take care of me.”
“No, not really.” He smiled down at her. “I’m going to fix us something to eat. Do you think you can get some more soup down?” She nodded and moved out of his lap. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t try to get up.”
“Okay. Can I have something to put on?” He got a tee shirt out of a drawer and tossed it to her then left the room.
Lettie tried her legs and they held. She was getting better then, right? She went to the mirror and lifted her shirt. Wow. He must’ve been hard up to want to have sex with her. She was a mess, running her fingers through what looked like a troll doll’s hair, she braided it quickly.
“I thought you promised not to get up.” He said bringing a tray in and setting it down. She grinned.
“I needed to look at the marks. I just needed to see.” Lettie climbed up into the bed and sat against the headboard. “I feel better, when can I go home?” He sighed and put the tray in her lap.
“I’d like you to stay, permanently.” Her head shook. “Lettie I know that we had problems but I think that we can work through them. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I want to be with you again.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I even have a job here for you, the pack needs a bookkeeper, and there’s nobody better at that than you are.” Lettie dipped her spoon into the tomato soup and sipped it.
“So you want me to come back for the pack.” She watched him intently over her soup looking for the lies. In the last few years of their marriage, Lettie found one general rule good to remember. If his mouth was moving then he was probably lying.
“No, I want you to come back for us, for me. Whether you do or not, I want you to do the books regardless. Once you get going with them, I don’t think it will take very long each week to do them. You know I suck at that stuff. I wanted to thank you for keeping the bank account like you did. I needed the money to pay pack bills, they were all over due, and well, there isn’t much left.” She sipped and listened. “That’s what I meant when I said that you weren’t a productive member of the pack. What I wanted to say was that we needed your skills as a bookkeeper.” He took a drink of water from the bottle on her tray. “When you do go home, take the SUV, it has air. I don’t need it anymore because I’m not driving all the way to Lennox.” Her eyes snapped up to his. “When I said that you should give the old truck to me, you didn’t wait for me to explain, you just ran off.” He could see she was starting to get angry and backed it up a notch. He dropped his head. “I know most of what happened between us was my fault. But I swear Lettie that I’d do anything to put it all right again.” She set the spoon down on the tray. Her soup bowl was empty. He took the tray and put it aside.
“Anything?” She asked softly. He nodded. “Give up your alpha position, go back to work in Lennox and move back to the bungalow.” He stared at her for the longest time. Jordan got up and carried the tray from the room. “Yeah that’s what I thought.” She whispered. “It’s still more important than I am.”
“It’s not.” He said coming back into the room. “It’s not more important than you are.” He was angry.
“It is Jordan.” His head shook.
“Done. I will announce it tomorrow at the pack meeting that they need to find a new alpha, that my mate wants me all to herself.” He grinned and climbed onto the bed and sat across from her. “If that’s what you want.”
“If I was going to stay, I would want to be more important to you than anything else, like I used to be. I’m not saying that I will just that if I were. I still need to think about that.”
“You always were Lettie. I wanted to be the alpha so that we could have the biggest house, so that we would be the most important pack members, so that I could stay home with you instead of driving for hours after spending all day away from you.” Her brows knitted. “You didn’t think of all of that huh?” She shook her head. That was the original idea but I think I forgot the reasoning behind the idea somewhere along the way. I’m remembering though.” The corner of his mouth lifted.
“I thought that you just wanted to be in charge.” He smirked. She had the most beautiful smart mouth.
“Well, that too.” They both laughed.
“Jordan. I don’t know if I can…” God those eyes, he could look into them forever.
“You still love me Lettie. You proved it earlier, even if you don’t want to admit it, you still want me.” She licked her lips and he watched closely.
“I always wanted you Jordan. I…just…I...I wanted you to be less selfish with me.” He was nodding. “I need…”
“Whoa.” Lettie put her hand up to stop him. “I didn’t agree to that.” It was getting hard to control her breathing and soon it would be impossible to tell him ‘no.’
“I said I would give up alpha, what else do you want? Just say and it’s yours.” He was so big, so beautiful, and so aroused. Wow.
“Um.” He took her hand, the one stopping him and kissed it. “I want you to slow down. We aren’t finished negotiating.” Lettie pulled her knees up to her chest.
“I am. Whatever you want, it’s yours. You have my heart. It’s all you need to get whatever you want.” His eyes were amber.
“Kiss me.” He kissed her hand again. “Here.” She pointed to her lips. His mouth pressed warmly to hers. “And here.” She pointed to her nose. “Here.” Her neck. She felt teeth and shifted away. “Just kiss.” She pointed to her belly button when she pulled her shirt up. He dipped his tongue into it and she trembled. Jordan’s kisses trailed lower and he spread her legs. His kisses grew more intimate the closer he went to her core. “Shit.” She hissed and he chuckled. Jordan’s tongue caressed her clitoris and her toes curled. Her legs shook. He spread them further while bending them up, nearly folding her in half. “Oh.” His tongue dipped into the well of her vagina then licked up to her clitoris again. His mouth closed over the small nub, he sucked it then, and Lettie nearly screamed with the orgasm that crashed through her.
“You always did love that.” Jordan murmured. “What you didn’t know was that I love it too. I love the sounds that you make, the way your body responds and bucks. I love the way orgasms sneak up on you and make you scream. You’ve always responded so well to me, to the things I do to you Lettie.” His tongue dipped inside of her again and she trembled. “I’m going to keep doing this to you until you can’t take another lick, suck, or nibble.” He murmured against the sensitive skin. She moaned and tried to move away because what he was doing felt too damn good. When had Jordan learned to be so attentive? Sure, they’d always been good together, good at getting the other off, but he was always more into it for self satisfaction really. Not that he minded pleasing her but it was with the understanding that she would please him as well. The Jordan between her legs didn’t seem concerned with his own pleasure, but the day wasn’t over yet either.
“No biting.” She narrowed her eyes.
“There will be absolutely no biting sweetheart.” His deep voice sent a tremor through her. Jordan sucked her labia into his mouth. Lettie’s back bowed of its own accord and she felt more than heard his chuckle. “Is sucking okay?” Her ‘uh-huh’ was high and breathy, he chuckled again. Jordan’s tongue was inside of her stroking nerves and lighting her up from the inside. Her fingers knotted in the sheets beneath her. Lettie watched him down the length of her body, watched his mouth move over her most intimate parts. God he was still so sexy after all of this time, still the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen. His hair wasn’t as long as it once was but it was still thick and dark. He had a few grays at the temple but they were barely noticeable unless you looked hard. He was kissing his way up her middle, mouthing, sucking, and licking her skin. “Still with me?” His voice rumbled over her nerves. His lips were against her ear now. She nodded. “It seemed like your mind was wandering. I want you to remember every moment of this. I want you to feel every moment of this. Her heart was pounding again. He knew every trick there was to making her climax and he played her like an instrument. He knew when he did that murmur against her ear thing that it was guarantee for getting her there quickly. He used to do that while she was trying to cook or clean. They’d end up having sex where ever they were. It didn’t matter that she was scrubbing tiles in the shower. He’d take her in the middle of the bathroom floor. Then one day it stopped. Tears pooled in her eyes. It stopped and he would pick at her instead. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Jordan was watching her face now and she turned her head. “Don’t hide from me Lettie.” He turned her face back to him with gentle fingers. This was never going to work. Who was she kidding? There was too much resentment. There were still too many bad memories and bad feelings between them. “What did I do wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“So many times.” She whispered. His head dropped to her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry Colette. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Please don’t hate me anymore. I can’t make it without you. I’m empty without you, soulless, heartless.” She shook her head and the tears that had gathered fell over her cheeks. He kissed them away. “Lettie, please give me a chance, I promise I won’t screw it up.” He pulled her to him and held her while she cried. “I know I messed up baby. I know. It’s my fault, every bit of it. Every ache in your heart is my fault. I hurt you and I don’t deserve you. So many times, I hurt you and I knew I hurt you. I was callous and I was wrong. Can you find it in your heart to give me just one more chance?” He kissed her forehead, temples and nose.
“I’ll try.” She whispered.
“It’s all I ask of you sweetheart.” He held her tightly. He didn’t want her to ever get away from him again.
Chapter Five
Jordan was snoring softly when Lettie slipped out of bed. She felt like she’d been in this bed forever. She was hungry and dirty. First things first, food. She padded through the house to the kitchen. Lettie hadn’t spent much time in this house, only if there was a meeting and they were usually downstairs or in the backyard. She followed the hall and found the bathroom. After emptying her bladder, she went deeper into the house and found the kitchen. She gulped a glass of orange juice then dug around for the makings of a sandwich. She was starving and made two huge sandwiches loaded with meat and cheese for them. Jordan was probably hungry too. She dug in the cabinets and found chips. This was the most disorganized kitchen she’d ever been in. If he wanted her to live here and if she decided to stay, she would rearrange this room. Jordan roared loudly. What was wrong with him? Lettie poured two glasses of milk and put them on the tray. He needed to shop too, this fridge was sadder than her own. She smirked. Nothing was going well for either of them apart. When they were together, the fridge and cabinets were full. There was always plenty of food, plenty of leftovers and plenty of things to drink. His fridge had a quart of milk and a quart of juice. He was growling and snarling now. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he having a bad dream? She hoped not, he was hard to calm down when he had them. Lettie picked the tray up and started through the kitchen when she saw him. Jordan’s wolf was a growling and snarling predator coming toward her. He was out of control. She put the tray down safely on the counter. She shifted into her wolf and lay down in the floor giving him her belly. His eyes were full of fire but he stopped making all of the scary noises and sniffed her from head to toe. Lettie rolled over and stood when he finished. She eased toward him and sniffed him then nipped his cheek playfully. Jordan morphed back into himself and Lettie did as well. “You okay?” She asked touching his cheek. She smiled softly.
“I thought you’d gone. The bed was empty when I woke up.” He still wasn’t calm but he was a hell of a lot better than he was a few moments earlier.
“I had to pee and I was hungry. Are you?” She picked up her sandwich and took a big bite. He smiled broadly. She always got so hungry after sex. He’d forgotten that. It was always his job to go find them a snack. Lettie drank half of her milk then went back to the sandwich. “I’m going to shower when I’m done eating. Do you, um�
��” A smile spread across his face. “Okay.” He crammed most of one half of his sandwich in his mouth and she laughed. “You need to shop too, that’s a sad little fridge.”
“Yours wasn’t any better the last time I came by. I was going to fix your dinner but all I could find was peanut butter and bread. Have you been living on that while I was…?” Lettie dropped her eyes to the floor. “Jesus Lettie. I’m sorry. I never thought…” She put her hand up for him to stop.
“Not all of the time but yeah I’ve had my fair share of peanut butter sandwiches. Sometimes you just have to make do.” They finished eating and he lifted her into his arms to carry to the bathroom. Someone banged on the front door and Jordan put her down.
“I’ll be right back sweetness. Go ahead and get in.” Lettie headed down the hall to the bathroom.
“Hi Jordan.” Aimee pushed in past him her usual cloud of perfume engulfing him when he opened the door. “I stopped by to see if you’d thought about my offer.” She turned and looked up at him with doe eyes and licked her lips.