by Hayden Hunt
But there would be no under-blanket sex for me tonight. And I was going to accept that. But maybe I’d need to accept it from my bedroom, because all this tension was a little much.
Yeah, I’ll just go to my room. Maybe I should just go to sleep, too. It’s early, but I didn’t get much sleep last night, anyway.
And, right now, the weather was absolutely perfect. This was the kind of weather in which I loved to sleep. When it was chilly, and I could just curl under the blankets and watch the light snow collect outside. It was perfect. And, obviously, I didn’t get this kind of weather where I was from very much, so it was best to take advantage of it. This might be the only day that it snows.
I still couldn’t help but feel a little lonely when I went back to my room. As nice as it might be to sleep in these conditions, it would be a lot better if I had a warm body next to me. And it didn’t even have to be sexual. It has been so long since I’ve just cuddled with another person.
But I pushed that impulse aside as I got into bed. I’d just have to imagine that I had a beautiful boy in bed next to me. And maybe that beautiful imaginary boy just happened to be the one that was sleeping in the room next to me…
When I awoke the next day, I felt colder than I had when I had gone to sleep.
Not so much under the covers, I was pretty toasty under the blankets, but my face was freezing. I instinctively pulled the blankets up over my head as I tried to get back to sleep. But, then I realized it was light outside and that I should probably get up.
Although normally on a vacation I’d be sleeping in as late as I wanted to, I knew that James was leaving this morning, and I really didn’t want to miss spending any time with him.
So, I forced myself to push my head out from under the covers and embrace the day, regardless of how freezing it was.
And then, I quickly realized why I was so cold. Apparently, I was sleeping in a goddamn igloo.
The entire window was covered in snow! And I mean, absolutely covered! I couldn’t see out of it at all.
This quickly sent a stream of anxiety through me. Fuck, I hadn’t realize it was going to snow like this! I didn’t want to be snowed in. Never in my life have I been snowed in anywhere. I’m extremely claustrophobic! I guarantee you, if I’d known this was going to be a possibility this weekend, I would not have come.
Okay, relax, Chris, I tried to tell myself. You don’t know if you’re completely snowed in yet. Just because it’s covering the window, it doesn’t mean it’s covering the entire door. And, hey, it might not even be covering the tiptop of the window!
I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the window to see if this was the case. And, of course, when I stood right under the window and peeked to the tiptop, I couldn’t see a goddamn thing.
Fuck.
How did this even happen? I know I had gone to bed early last night but when I had, snow had been coming down so softly. It had gone from that to full blown blizzard?! How long had I slept?
I looked at the alarm clock next to my bed and, yep, it was actually pretty late, about 11:30. God, how had I sleep in this late when I had gone to bed so early?
I ran out of my bedroom door, and, when I did, I saw James sitting on the couch, facing away from me. But, I was so panicked that I didn’t even bother with saying hi to him at first. Not when there was something I desperately needed to know.
I headed straight for the door, and that’s when James turned around and noticed what I was going to do.
“Uh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” he warned.
But I didn’t even process it. I was just so eager to get out of this place, to step outside, if only for a moment, that I had to yank open the door.
And when I did, I was met with an entire wall of snow. The indents on the door, as well as the doorknob, had made markings in the snow, so, it looked like I was staring at another door, made entirely of snow.
Only, this wasn’t a door that I could open. This door of snow was completely blocking me in.
My heart began to race, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Completely oblivious to my anxiety, James continued on.
“I know, I was a shocked as you when I woke up. Can you believe it?! I don’t know when this blizzard started, but it seemed to come without warning. I guess I should have paid attention to the weather before I drove up here—” He noticed pretty quickly that I wasn’t responding.
I had sat myself down on the nearest stool in the kitchen and was rubbing my hands up and down my thighs. I couldn’t even think. I just felt completely suffocated, even though I knew I was getting air.
“Are you okay?” he asked quickly.
“No…” I shook my head. “I’m really claustrophobic, and I feel like I’m having a panic attack.”
“Oh, god, here…” He took my hand. I was hesitant to get up, but he led me to the couch, and I followed.
“Here, lay down,” he suggested.
I did, flat on my back, my hands balled up into little fists. With every step I took to get over there, it felt like I had less oxygen in my lungs.
He took my hand and laid it down flat on my chest. Then he grabbed my other hand and put it on my stomach.
“Okay, so, focus your breathing for a second. You’re breathing all up in your chest, but try to make your hand on your stomach rise and fall, while not letting the hand on your chest move. Okay? Just don’t let your hand on your chest move. Deep breaths, in and out.”
Honestly, this seemed a little ridiculous to me, but I didn’t know the guy well enough to tell him that I thought it was bullshit and wouldn’t work. Even in my anxious state, I felt the need to be polite and humor him.
I did what he said, taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. To my surprise, at first, it actually was a little difficult for me to stop my chest from moving. After a few breaths, though, I got the hang of it and kept all my breath through my stomach.
They were deeper breaths, I knew that, but it somehow felt like I wasn’t getting as much air. Like my gasping in my anxiety was somehow getting me more oxygen, even though I doubted that was the truth. Gulping air just somehow felt better.
Within a minute, though, it actually started to work! I slowly became calmer and stopped feeling like I couldn’t breathe.
“Oh my god, it worked!” I told him excitedly. “I feel better. I mean, I’m still anxious about being snowed in here, but I don’t feel so panicked.”
I tried to avoid thinking about the mountain of snow that was now surrounding the cabin. If I thought about it too long, I knew I’ spiral into another panic attack, maybe one I couldn’t get out of the second time. But, as of right now, I was mostly doing okay, and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.
“I’m so sorry I started talking to you all casually, I didn’t realize you were claustrophobic and panicking. You’ve never been snowed in before?”
“No, never,” I told him. “Honestly, I am kind of wishing I didn’t come to the mountains anymore.” I laughed awkwardly.
“I’m so sorry. But, you know, the snow will melt eventually. We won’t be stuck in here forever. I mean, if it really makes you feel better, we can totally dig at the snow in the doorway, and I’m sure we’ll be able to build a little tunnel toward the top. But, uh, a lot of snow will certainly get into the house, and it’s a little pointless considering our cars are buried.”
Right, even if I could get outside, where would I go? We’re in the middle of nowhere, and all the other cabins are undoubtedly snowed in, too. But, somehow, just the thought that I can get out of this cabin if I wanted to calmed me down some. And, really, there was no reason to leave… at least, not right now.
“I’ve got to thank you a ton for yesterday!” James said, suddenly.
“What do you mean?” I asked, racking my brain for what I did yesterday that was so worthy of great thanks.
“I mean, letting me stay here and not having me drive home. I know it hadn’t
been snowing this hard when I’d have left, but who knows how it would have been in other parts of the mountain, or in what I would have eventually gotten stuck. I certainly don’t have the skills to have driven in this mess, so thank you.”
“Oh, right, not a problem!” I smiled.
“Sorry that I now have to intrude on a lot more of vacation, now…” he said, hesitantly, as if waiting for a negative response.
Oh, shit, in all my anxiety, I hadn’t even realized that! Now he has to stay, now I’m going to have the whole weekend with this guy. Hell, maybe even more than the weekend! We might be here for several days.
Well, that was one benefit to all of this! I didn’t even have to risk rejection in order to get him to stay here. This took the edge off my frustration considerably.
“It’s no problem at all! But I hope it’s not frustrating for you…” I also said hesitantly, trying to gauge whether this was a good thing to him or not.
“Nope! I have no idea what I’d do at home by myself anyway, so, honestly, this snow day works out in my favor.” He cringed. “Sorry, I know it’s really stressful for you. I don’t mean to say that I’m getting any pleasure out of your pain or anything.”
Okay, so, maybe he actually did want to hang out with me! Maybe last night really was just him being too exhausted to hang out.
I chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. Actually, now that I know you’ll be around for longer, that doesn’t bother me so much.”
That was awful forward of me, but why not be forward? Now that I knew he actually did want to hang out, I didn’t see any problem with being flirty. After rejection is out of the way for me, I don’t have too many concerns about being flirtatious.
He blushed a little. “Can I get you anything? Maybe some tea to help you relax?”
I didn’t really need any, I was feeling pretty calm now, but I wanted him to get me tea anyway. He was just being so sweet! The way he laid me down on the couch and helped me calm down… and now he wants to continue taking care of me? It’s sweet! He was very nurturing, and I don’t get to experience that a lot.
“Actually, yeah, is there any peppermint tea here?”
“I’ll go check, one second.”
He got up and walked to the kitchen. Before he looked in the cabinets, he poured some water into the kettle and put it on the stove. Thank god the pipes hadn’t frozen over and we still had power.
“Yep, looks like there is peppermint! It’s your lucky day,” he called to me.
This was so nice. I haven’t had someone be this sweet to me in… well, maybe ever. To be honest, none of the boyfriends I’d ever had had been that nice. I mean, they hadn’t been total assholes or anything, but they hadn’t gone out of their way to be kind like James was being.
I’d thought he was sexy before, but I was only becoming more attracted to him now that I knew he was kind on top of being gorgeous.
All my anxiety about being snowed in had completely dissipated at this point. I’m not sure why I’d be anxious anymore, when this meant I now got to spend the next week with James by my side. I know I wouldn’t have had the balls to ask him to stay, so, really, I’d had to deal with some discomfort in order for this to happen.
James walked back in the living room and handed me the piping hot cup of tea. “Here you go.” He grinned.
“Thank you so much. You’re an absolute sweetheart.”
“I do my best,” he said cheekily, as he sat down with his own cup.
“I mean, really though, how’d you get to be so sweet?” I asked, as I continually dipped my teabag in the hot water.
“Just comes naturally, I suppose.” He smiled. “You’re pretty nice yourself. Letting me stay here instead of driving home and all.”
“Nah,” I shrugged, “that was a selfish act. I was really, really bored here by myself. I was thrilled to see another face. Especially one as cute as yours.”
I was laying it on thick, and he was turning red again. He clearly wasn’t as flirty as I was. For a second, I got a little nervous that I might be making him uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say that, right?” I asked. “I mean, I shouldn’t flirt with you? You’re like, coming straight out of a relationship and everything. I’m sure you’re still very focused on your ex right now.”
“Actually, I’m surprisingly not,” he corrected me. “I’ve been waiting to get out of that relationship for a while now and it just… it doesn’t really seem to bother me. I’m kind of apathetic to the whole break-up. I don’t foresee me having any problems moving on.”
“Oh, great!” I said excitedly. “That’s what I was hoping to hear.”
He laughed. “You’re a little eager, huh?”
“Not going to lie, being snowed in sounds pretty boring…” I told him, in an exasperated tone. “Can you blame me for wanting to spice that up with a cute guy?”
“I suppose I can’t,” he grinned. “You are… refreshingly honest.”
“I try,” I said, attempting to mimic him.
He laughed again. “I think you and I are going to have fun this weekend,” he told me.
“I think so, too.”
5
James
When I had woken up this morning, I’d had every intention of leaving before Chris woke up. I hadn’t want to be tempted to stay, and I’d known seeing him would tempt me.
But, when I’d seen the snow piled so high out of my window, I’d known immediately that wasn’t going to be an option. And I’d immediately felt… relieved.
It was awesome, like now I didn’t even have a choice except to stay here. And since I didn’t have a choice, I didn’t have to feel guilty about spending my weekend with Chris!
However, not having any guilt about making the wrong decision didn’t mean I didn’t have my concerns. I was still just as worried as I was before about getting too attached and then missing him when I had to leave. But, despite those worries, I was craving interaction with him.
Now, I was going to get it. And all I had to do was hope for the best.
I still told myself that I’d keep this all platonic. That there would be no romance this weekend, that I’d simply keep things friendly and enjoy his company. But it became immediately evident that Chris was going to make that difficult for me.
Okay, maybe not immediately evident, because technically the first time I’d seen him this morning, he had been in a full-fledged panic attack. But, after he’d calmed down from that, the boy had gotten really flirty.
And I won’t deny, I was enjoying it quite a bit, but he wasn’t making it easy to stay away. Not in the slightest.
“So, where are you from?” Chris asked, during a lull in the conversation.
“Oh, I live in Jenning. Have you heard of it?”
His eyes bulged. “Absolutely! I live only forty five minutes from there!”
“You do?! Where?”
“In Lucas, I assume you’ve been?”
“Of course!”
Lucas was basically our nearby metropolitan area. Jenning was a bit of a small town. Not horribly small; it was still considered a city, though barely. And we had shopping centers, all the major retail and grocery stores.
But, we didn’t have a lot of fun things to do. Not a lot of movies, or arcades, or bowling alleys. We had no malls, no big location where people congregate.
But Lucas had pretty much everything. Malls, skating rinks, child play places, one of those big theaters that also shows movies in 3-D. So, if I ever went anywhere for some fun, it was pretty much in Lucas.
“How do you like it over there?” I asked. “You’re into that bigger city life?”
“You know, I am. I’ve always been drawn to big cities. I’m easily bored, I like living in a place where places are still open at 3am. That probably makes me sound like a weirdo, but there really have been several times when I couldn’t sleep and I went for a game of bowling at 3am by myself. And people are actually there! It really helps me to be less lonely
.”
I nodded. “I guess I could understand that. I’m not very extroverted myself, so that doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest,” I laughed.
“You’d never live that city life then, huh?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. I mean, just the traffic in Lucas drives me crazy. And, one time, a few buddies and I had been over there, and we had needed to buy beer. I couldn’t believe how crowded the grocery store was! It was like people were there all the freaking time! People are just everywhere, I don’t know how it doesn’t drive you crazy!”
“Admittedly, occasionally it does. But that’s pretty rare. I have to be pretty sick of people for it to bother me, which doesn’t happen very often.”
“Wow, so, this trip really must have been driving you crazy, huh? Being by yourself when normally you love to be surrounded by others?”
He sighed. “Yeah, exactly. I had myself convinced that I’d easily be able to enjoy myself on a solitary vacation, but it didn’t take me long to discover how untrue that was. You were really a bit of a godsend.”
“Glad to hear it. I really was nervous that I was going to bother you.”
“A cute guy like you?! How could you ever bother me?” he teased.
“Oh, boy,” I groaned. “You’re really going to have to stop flirting with me before things get tempting for me.”
“Ah, so I can tempt you, then? Well, obviously, I’m going to try and do that. Now that I know you’re seducible…”
“Well, then!” I said, thinking of a way to suddenly change the subject. “What are we going to eat?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, I bought a bunch of groceries, so, as long as the power is still on, we’ll be good. I think I even have some canned foods and cereal, so. even if it goes out… hold on, actually, are you hungry? I’ll go grab my bag now.”
“That would be great, actually!” I said.
Though I hadn’t wanted to ask, I really was getting a little famished. I hadn’t eaten since before I had come here last night.
