Twins for Christmas

by Amanda Renee

  Noah cleared his throat from the doorway. She didn’t know if he wanted her attention or if it had been more of a cough. She closed her eyes, laid her head against the back of the glider and ignored him. This was her moment and the rest of the world could wait.

  Hannah remained upstairs until she heard the sound of popcorn popping away. It must have been one more thing Noah had bought at the store. When she came downstairs, she was surprised at the amount of popcorn he’d made. He appeared to have filled every one of her bowls and a stockpot.

  “Making a little snack?” she asked.

  Noah handed her two bowls and motioned for her to follow him. “I don’t have much time to help you get ready for Christmas, so tonight you and I are stringing popcorn.” He led her into the living room and sat on the floor next to the bowls he’d already set out. “I even picked up needles and thread. I figured it was easier to do this one without the girls. I hope you don’t mind that I searched your cabinets for a hot air popper. I was fully prepared to make it on the stove top if you didn’t have one.”

  “No, I don’t mind.” Hannah joined him on the floor. “I haven’t done this since I was a kid. You know, you don’t have to jam everything into one day. We still have next weekend.”

  “It’s not enough time.” He handed her a spool of thread. “Plus, we need to go to the furniture store and look at beds. Are they open tomorrow?”

  “No, not much is open around here on Sunday.”

  “Crap. Let me get my checkbook.” He started to get up when Hannah reached out.

  “Noah, stop.”

  “I told you I would pay for the beds.” He twisted out of her grasp. “Make sure you tell them to deliver them and set them up, too. You shouldn’t be doing all that, and if I can’t be here, then I’ll pay someone to do it. If I don’t give you enough, have them call me and I’ll put the rest on a credit card.”

  “Noah,” she said louder, hoping she hadn’t woken the girls. “You can give me the check later. Even if we had picked out the beds today, I would have had to wait for them to be delivered. They never have that stuff in stock. They may not even come until after the holidays. You’re not missing anything there.”

  “That’s true.” Noah settled back down beside her and opened the pack of needles.

  “You won’t be missing anything during the week, either.” She began stringing the popcorn. “I have a lot to do here, plus Christmas shopping and—” Hannah took a deep breath and steadied herself “—Lauren’s things arrived from Boston last week. Her entire apartment. The company she worked for had everything packed and shipped down, including the furniture, which I hadn’t expected. It’s all stored in my parents’ barn, but I need to go through it.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” He leaned closer and laid his arm around her shoulders, wrapping her in a blanket of comfort.

  “I didn’t want to think about it until after the holidays.”

  “Then why are you going through the boxes next week?”

  “Because Lauren always did everything months in advance.” Hannah attempted a smile. “I’m willing to bet there are Christmas presents for the girls in those boxes. I can’t leave gifts in the barn knowing Lauren took such great care picking them out for her daughters. Maybe she hadn’t had an opportunity to shop yet with the new job and new place, but I’m not willing to take that chance. The girls deserve one last present from their mom, and if they’re in there, I will find them.”

  “I wish I could be here to help you.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah tugged a bowl of popcorn closer to her. “This is something I need to do on my own.” She nodded to his lowly strand of garland. “You’re falling way behind.”

  He tossed a piece of popcorn at her. “Can I ask you something?”

  “I think you just did.” She tossed one back.

  “Do you want to have your own biological children one day?”

  She hadn’t expected that question. “If you had been around during Lauren’s pregnancy, you wouldn’t ask that.”

  “Why?”

  “She had an extremely difficult time.” Hannah winced at the recollection. “She wasn’t just carrying twins. They were very large twins. And they wanted to eat, all the time. She had the worst cravings for the most god-awful combinations you can imagine. Everything from sardine-flavored shakes to peanut butter meat loaf.”

  “That’s horrible.” Noah’s face contorted in disgust.

  “Imagine being the one having to make the sardine shakes. And then I had to watch her consume them.” Hannah had become very well acquainted with her gag reflex during those nine months. “Lauren had morning sickness from the beginning until the middle of her seventh month.”

  “Are you sure it was morning sickness and not a reaction to whatever it was she was eating?” Noah frowned.

  “I know, right? Lauren and I had had that same argument many times. She was only five foot two. So the bigger those babies grew, the more uncomfortable she became. Think about a normal pregnancy. A woman her size carrying around a seven-pound baby plus the extra goodies that come with it. She was caring around twice that. She had a hard time sleeping and working. The doctor put her on bed rest at eight months. The restriction drove her insane. And the delivery... Oh, my God.”

  “Did she have a cesarean?”

  “Nope.” Hannah shook her head. “She delivered naturally. Sixteen hours of labor. After witnessing her ordeal, I don’t have a strong desire to give birth. Besides, I feel as if Charlotte and Cheyenne are half mine. I essentially became the other parent.”

  Noah’s eyes shifted to the floor. “I hadn’t looked at it that way.”

  “Now maybe you’ll understand why they mean so much to me.” She searched his face for some sign he’d stay in Ramblewood with the girls, but he was unreadable. She had a few more hours in the morning to convince him, and she knew the perfect place to go. A place everyone was welcome and Lauren’s girls were cherished. She’d take him to church.

  Chapter Ten

  When Hannah said she had somewhere special to take him, Noah never anticipated it would be the Ramblewood Community Church. Not that he minded.

  The historic white chapel was beautifully simple with its open rafter interior, white walls and hand-hewn pine pews. A Christmas tree made from red poinsettia plants filled one of the back corners, a large hand-carved nativity scene in the other. Candles and pine boughs adorned the modest altar while sunlight filtered through the tall divided windows, illuminating the entire service.

  Noah came from a town with a population of less than one thousand. He understood small-town life. But he’d never seen people welcome a stranger as graciously as he’d been welcomed. Just about everybody there had already known who he was before they were introduced. He recognized some faces from the volunteers who had come out to work on Hannah’s house. Others he remembered from his first morning in town. And then there were a slew of people he’d never laid eyes on who called him by name.

  They sat with Hannah’s family while Charlotte and Cheyenne played in the nursery with their friends. Noah was surprised at how many friends two almost twenty-two-month-old children had. He hadn’t had the opportunity to see his daughters interact with other children before. They happily played, hardly noticing when he and Hannah left them to attend the service.

  “It was nice to see you in attendance this morning, Noah.” The pastor firmly shook his hand as they exited the church. “I do hope you’ll be joining us for lunch in the fellowship hall.”

  Noah checked his watch. It was quarter after eleven and he needed to be on the road no later than noon. “I can stay for fifteen minutes at the most, but I have a plane to catch.”

  “I wish you could stay longer.” Hannah’s mother joined their conversation. “Hannah and the girls both miss you when you’re gone.”

>   “I miss them, too,” he said. “I can only get away for three and a half days every week and a good portion of that time is spent getting to Ramblewood.”

  “Maybe you should move here.”

  Well, that was blunt. Noah wished it were that easy. “My job is highly specialized and they don’t have heli-loggers around here.”

  Fern laughed. “No, but we do have helicopters.”

  “True, but it’s not the same. I’m not just a helicopter pilot.”

  The pastor motioned for them to move their conversation farther down the stairs so they weren’t blocking the doorway.

  “Would it be so bad if you were?” Fern asked. “Look, Noah. I like you. I didn’t at first, but you’ve grown on me and you’ve grown on my daughter. Having kids means sometimes making sacrifices. The kids have a good life here. Please consider that before you decide to take them away from all of this.”

  Noah’s jaw clenched. He’d basically asked Hannah to do the same thing last night. “There you are.” Hannah’s fingers lightly grazed his arm. “It’s time to get the girls from the nursery. They were just invited to a play date this week by a mom with another set of twins. I promise I’ll take lots of pictures and send them to you.”

  Noah rubbed his temples. “Hannah, I’m afraid I have to pass on lunch. It’s getting too late and I can’t afford to miss my flight.”

  The happiness slid from her face. “Okay.”

  “I’m sorry.” Noah hated tearing her and the children away from her family and friends. “Why don’t you stay here and enjoy the afternoon? I’ll reinstall the car seats in your truck, and if you give me your key so I can get in, I’ll lock up the house and leave the key wherever you want.”

  Hannah hesitated before agreeing. “This is the first time we’ve been back to church since Lauren died.” She reached into her bag and removed her house keys. “It’s the first time the girls have been here since they moved to Boston.” She fumbled with the fob, dropping it before managing to remove the house key. “It will be good for them to spend the rest of the day with their little playmates. I really wish you could stay.”

  Me, too. “Let’s go pick up the girls so I can say goodbye.” Noah swallowed hard. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “Yeah.” Hannah kept her head down and walked slightly in front of him. He hated disappointing her, even though she’d known he was leaving.

  If he thought saying goodbye to Hannah was difficult, it didn’t compare to saying goodbye to his daughters. He didn’t know how much more he could take of this arrangement. He had to bring Hannah and the girls home before he found it impossible to say goodbye. Despite Fern’s suggestion, moving to Ramblewood wasn’t an option for him. He’d be insane to give up years of training and his salary when there was a more practical solution.

  * * *

  NOAH WAS MISERABLE by the time he arrived home. Unlocking the door, he stepped inside, greeted by emptiness. No laughter, not a single Christmas decoration, no Hannah, no girls. He sent a quick text message saying he was home and promising to call later. He knew the girls were already in bed and he was in too foul a mood to talk now. He fired off another message to his real-estate agent asking her to expand her search. He’d follow it up tomorrow with a telephone call, because he needed to feel like he was doing something about the situation. Even his attorney had agreed he had to move sooner than later. Without a home inspection, they couldn’t determine custody. Noah didn’t want to risk losing custody of his own children because of where he lived. So they were at a standstill until he found a new house.

  * * *

  HANNAH WANTED TO COLLAPSE. Cheyenne had the flu and it was only a matter of time before Charlotte came down with it, too. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in the two days since Noah left and a raging headache was making her left eye twitch. The strong, single-mom thing was all well and good, but when there was a dad available, she believed in equal time in sickness and in health. If Noah were there, she was certain he’d help her. Heck, he told her as much every time he called, but it wasn’t the same as actually being there.

  Her mom and Abby had offered to help, but she couldn’t risk their health. She had no choice but to do it alone. Clay stopped by twice a day to tend to the horses for her, but her teaching, training and practice schedules had come to a screeching halt.

  The video chat chimed on her phone. She accepted the call wordlessly.

  “Oh, honey, that’s not a good look for you.” Noah’s face filled the screen, brows furrowed. “How are you doing tonight or shouldn’t I ask?”

  “How come you get the happy Charlotte and Cheyenne and I get the pukey ones?”

  “Well, that answers my next question. I guess Cheyenne hasn’t improved this afternoon. Is your eye twitching or is it the connection?”

  “No, it’s me, and no, she hasn’t improved. The doctor said the meds usually take three days. So here’s hoping tomorrow will be the day.”

  “I’m sorry you have to do this alone.”

  Hannah had dealt with sick kids before, but she would take turns with Lauren caring for them. This was the first time she had to truly handle everything by herself and it was terrifying. Especially in the middle of the night when one of them spiked a fever.

  “Would it be selfish of me to say I wish you were here?” Hannah asked.

  “Not at all.” He smiled. “I miss you. Not just the girls, I miss you, too.”

  “Even my toes?” Noah’s calls had been the one bright spot in her otherwise dreary days. Unfortunately, every time he had called, Cheyenne was asleep. Between the flu and the medicine, she slept most of the day, while Charlotte was a bundle of energy. Once midnight rolled around, Charlotte was out cold and Cheyenne kept Hannah awake most of the night.

  “Even your toes. I take it the girls are in bed.” Noah’s expectant face almost broke her heart.

  “I’m sorry.” Hannah yawned. “They went down a half hour ago. I think it’s the first time they’ve both been asleep at the same time since Sunday. They were cranky when they were awake. Be glad you missed it.”

  “I’d rather not miss any of it.” Noah disappeared from the screen for a few seconds before reappearing, his eyes glassy. “As much as I would love to talk to you, why don’t you try to get some sleep? At least until they get up again.”

  “Okay.” Hannah ran her fingers across the screen, wishing she could touch his face or kiss him good-night. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

  Noah nodded. “Hannah, I—um... I—I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Good night.” She disconnected the call, wondering what Noah wanted to say but hadn’t. He couldn’t possibly have been about to say I love you, could he? Nah. Hannah checked all the doors and climbed the stairs to bed after checking in on the girls one last time. She crawled between the sheets, wishing Noah were there to hold her close. Maybe someday they’d have that chance.

  * * *

  BY THURSDAY MORNING, Cheyenne was feeling better, but Charlotte had come down with the flu. Noah had caught a flight late last night and was due to arrive any minute. As much as she wanted to see him, as soon as he walked through that door, he was on kid duty.

  She had to get some rest before Saturday’s Mistletoe Rodeo. She’d made a commitment and intended to see it through. She hoped Noah could handle playing nursemaid. If he was determined to take the girls to Oregon, he needed to see how tough it was looking after a sick kid. So far, all he’d had was the happy, healthy twin experience.

  Hannah heard his rental truck pull into the drive. Her butt was firmly planted on the couch and she didn’t have the energy to get up and greet him at the door. She’d unlocked it when she came down the stairs and was sure he’d figure it out.

  “Hey, sweetheart. Aren’t you feeling well?” Noah dropped his bag in the foyer and sat beside her o
n the couch. She could only imagine what she looked like. Sweatpants, T-shirt, robe, ponytail. After cleaning up barf, she wasn’t in the mood to do her hair and apply a slick of lipstick. Noah needed a good dose of reality.

  She rested her head on his shoulder and allowed him to envelop her in his arms. Their strength felt more incredible than she had imagined. Hannah had never been a “curl up on the couch and snuggle” kind of girl...until now. She could easily lay her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat until she fell asleep. “Thank you for coming early. I hope it didn’t mess up your job.”

  “My boss wasn’t happy, but he understood.” Noah smoothed her hair. “What can I do to help you?”

  Hannah sat upright, instantly missing the comfort of his embrace. For a man who had worked all day and then flown all night, he seemed remarkably awake in his black chamois shirt and dark jeans. With the exception of one errant lock of blond hair that had fallen across his forehead, he looked perfect.

  She pushed off the couch and stood. “I know you’ve had a long flight, but I would really appreciate a few hours of sleep. Can you please take care of the twins for a little while?”

  “Of course.” Noah helped her to her room and gave her a chaste kiss at the door. Well, a peck on the top of the head. She wouldn’t want to kiss her when she looked like this, either. “I have a baby monitor in my room, so just holler if you need me. The thermometer is on the dresser in their room. You stick it in her ear, press the button, and it almost instantly tells you her temperature. If you can’t figure it out, wake me. Actually, wake me if you need anything at all. I gave Charlotte her medicine two hours ago, so she’ll probably sleep well for now. Hopefully.” Hannah turned to walk into her bedroom and stopped. “Thank you and welcome home.” She closed the door behind herself and collapsed on the bed. Finally.

  No sooner had she closed her eyes, she heard a knock at the door. “What?”

  “Hannah?” Noah opened the door and stuck his head in, the light from the hallway blinding her. “Charlotte just threw up.”