Chaos (Constellation Book 2)

by Jennifer Locklear

  “What is it?”

  “Why do you have to leave Aurora? Why go to work for him?”

  She paused and shuffled her weight from one foot to the other. “If I can work from Portland, I can look after my grandparents and it will keep Robert from traveling back and forth so much. And the leave of absence will me give me time and space to figure out what to do next.”

  “What do you need from me?” I heard the vulnerability in my own voice, although I’d planned to convey nothing but strength.

  “It wouldn’t be like it was.” She dropped her hands from mine to travel up my forearms. “I’m not running away from you. I could come down here on some weekends, and whenever you bring Heide up to Portland for doctor appointments, you can stay with me. We can both do what we need to do, and we’d have time to work on our relationship.”

  I could hardly believe my ears. It would be tempting to focus on the negative side of the situation, but instead I saw her compromise for the opportunity it was. I’d just been given a year to win back the love of my life.

  I fell quiet for a time, allowing her suggestion to settle in.

  “Do you hate me?” Her pained question drew my full attention back to the present.

  I pulled her into my arms. “You know I don’t,” I murmured against her golden hair. “Where did that come from?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “All I need is for you to be happy.”

  She shook her head against my chest. “I’m afraid.”

  “Of me?”

  “Of everything.”

  I leaned my cheek to rest against the top of her head as understanding washed over me. “I’ve been afraid that telling you my secrets may finish us, but I know that not telling you means I’ll lose you for sure. I’m sorry I’m not the man you thought I was.”

  There was a pregnant silence between us. As I held her in my arms, I had more comfort to offer, but I also had one final confession to make.

  “I was lost after my father died,” I said. “That’s when I started sleeping with women. It was a terrible habit. My father would have been so disappointed in what I’d done. Maybe I wouldn’t have done those things if he might find out about them. I don’t know.”

  “You were trying to cope.”

  “Becoming a father changed me. I became a different man the moment Heide was placed in my arms. I tried my best to make my marriage work, but I failed Allison early on. I’ve failed you, too. She left me, so how can I be so surprised by what’s happening now?”

  She lifted her head and looked up at me. Tears were burning my eyes and she could see them.

  I managed to hold them back, but my voice betrayed my emotions. “It’s almost the same. Her leaving for Maryland, and you leaving for Portland. But I don’t want it to be the same.”

  “I won’t be in Portland all the time.”

  Kathleen snuggled back against my chest. I wiped away a tear, and then I wrapped my arm back around her with a sniffle.

  “Why don’t you want it to be the same?” she asked, trying to help me work through my sadness. “What’s different for you now?”

  “As opposed to when Allison left me?”

  She nodded against my chest.

  “I let her go.”

  “You’re letting me go, too.”

  “No.” I grinned. “You don’t understand, Kathleen.”

  “I guess not.”

  My embrace tightened around her even more. “I let go of Allison, body and soul. I will never let go of you.”

  To Be Continued…

  My long list of thanks begins with Kris and Morgan, who read this book in all its various stages. They selflessly contributed their time, advice and encouragement, and their wholehearted support of Jack and Kathleen’s story convinced me I could write a trilogy.

  Melissa and MJ are my amazing and hard-working PA’s. They both came on board just when I needed them most. Their time, talents and enthusiasm made it possible for me finish the most challenging book of my writing career, and I’ll be forever grateful for their friendship and support. This is why Chaos has been dedicated in their names.

  Thank you to my online colleagues at Argyle Empire. Coco, Iris, Mango, and MJ were amazing as I devoted my attention to writing Chaos rather than blogging for AE. They’ve all been amazing friends since the time we met, and this instance is no exception.

  Special thanks also go to Autumn for reading the nearly complete version of the manuscript and offering a cover quote. I owe her one yummy cocktail!

  I am grateful to Colleen, who provided editorial direction despite her own hectic schedule. I asked for her help, assuming it was a longshot, and she eagerly took on the project. Her fingerprint is definitively on this series and the story is better as a result.

  I also enjoyed my collaboration with Janine and Greg at Write Divas. Their professionalism as editors is unequivocal and I’m so happy to be working on this series with them. I’d also like to express my gratitude to Marla of Proofingstyle, Inc. for her amazing copy edit skills. Carol (aka the Blurb Bitch) did a tremendous favor by drafting the synopsis for this book. Without her help, I’d still be trying to summarize this novel into a few eye-catching paragraphs. Lindsey Gray took on the task of formatting this book and it’s been a delight to have someone who wants the inside of the book to be as appealing as the cover.

  Jada D’Lee, Gel and Victoria all did something for this story that I never could. Jada’s cover design, Gel’s tempting illustrations and Victoria’s illo have transformed my black and white words into vibrant pictures. The three of you were my top choices as visual artists for the Constellation series and I’m honored you found this story worthy of your incredible talents.

  Christine from The Hype PR has been wonderful to work with and has provided me with amazing connections beyond my own personal circles. I love how we’ve worked together as a team and I can’t wait to release other books with her help.

  Since 2010, I’ve become close to many readers, reviewers, bloggers, artists, and authors. The people I’ve met both online and in person provide me with daily inspiration. I can’t name you all here, but if we’ve ever spoken to one another please know I’m speaking of you now. Because of your friendship, I am happier than I’ve ever been. My life has been a fantastic whirlwind since you welcomed me into the community. Thank you.

  In that place we refer to as real life, I have a full-time career. While many authors fear losing their day jobs and conceal their published works from their employers, my personal experience differs. Not only do my work colleagues encourage my writing, they also allow me to do so under my own name. I wish to express particular thanks to Carrie, Molly, Valencia, Bri, and Wanda. You may not realize it, but the support you have so effortlessly provided is indeed an aberration in my publishing circles.

  I need to express my love and appreciation to my children and my mother, who all patiently allow me to pursue random story ideas and all that comes along with my writing endeavors. It isn’t just about spending hours lost in a word doc or spending time on social media. It’s also about me leaving home on occasion to attend author events and other assorted shenanigans. You are all very good to me, and I hope I’m as good to you in return.

  Finally, I wish to thank my husband. Morgan has been by my side ever since our introduction on a dance floor in 1988. Several years ago, he saw a spark of creativity in me and encouraged me to rekindle my connection to storytelling. Thinking about writing a novel is one thing. Sitting down to do so is quite another. Without Morgan’s enthusiasm, love and effort to draw me into the spotlight, I guarantee you never would have heard a peep out of me.

  ~ Jennifer

  April 12, 2018

  Jennifer lives in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States. She married her high school sweetheart, Morgan, in 1995. She is the mother of two children, a son and daughter.

  Prior to publishing her first novel, she was a contributing reviewer for the Bookish Temptations book blog. She i
s also a founding moderator of Argyle Empire, an approved fan site for New York Times and International Best Selling Author, Sylvain Reynard.

  Represented by Stephanie Phillips of SBR Media.

  Connect with Jennifer on …

  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MorganandJenniferLocklear/

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  Newsletter http://locklearbooks.com/

  Want to join Jennifer’s Facebook group, The Stargazers Squad? Jennifer posts silly videos, shares sexy teasers, hosts author takeovers/giveaways and posts other pieces of story related items.

  https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheStargazersSquad/

  Books by Jennifer Locklear

  Co-authored with Morgan Locklear

  Exposure

  The Constellation Series

  Constellation

  Chaos

  Team Chaos

  Write Divas http://www.writedivasediting.com/

  Proofingstyle, Inc. http://www.proofingstyle.com/

  The Blurb Bitch http://www.blurbbitch.com/

  Lindsey Gray Formatting Services http://www.lindseygray.net/formatting-services

  Jada D’Lee Designs http://www.jadadleedesigns.com/

  Tempting Illustrations http://www.temptingillustrations.com/#sthash.bFewra3c.dpbs

  Ruffles and Restraints http://rufflesandrestraints.com/

  The Hype PR http://www.thehypepr.net/