Jaq With a Q (Kismet)

by Jettie Woodruff

  Jaq pushed me away, her cheeks flushed and her wide eyes rolling in a circle, but I didn’t care. I would never stop. I loved the way she blushed at my comments. She sat on the kitchen floor with Cleo and Leo, rubbing under both their wrinkly necks while she watched the rain fall on the lake.

  We did eat out on the porch, all the paint pressure washed off, ready for new. That was our weekend project, that and flowers. I really wanted to get those in the ground. Summer was going to be over before we ever finished it, not that I cared. I would be happy doing it year after year with her. With Jaq. Far, far away from everyone and everything.

  Jaq began to help me clean up the kitchen, but I didn’t want her help. I wanted her to get in bed. Naked.

  “I can help, Ollie.”

  “No, go get your shower. I’ve got it. I’ll be there as soon as I shower.”

  “I want to earn my keep, too.”

  I pulled her into a kiss, smiling on her lips. “Don’t worry. You’re about to.”

  “Ugh. I hate you. I’m just going to go die in the shower.”

  I laughed, letting her walk out of my arms. “You don’t need clothes. Be naked when I come. I’ll be there as soon as I clean up and shower.”

  That got her to turn and give me a look, assuring me with a sassy tone that wasn’t about to happen. “I’m not doing that.”

  “Yes, you are. I’m going to take them off anyway.”

  Jaq disappeared with a growl, leaving me with a smile and wondering if she’d really do it, betting that she would not.

  I cleaned up in record time, swearing a dishwasher was in my near future. Once that was done I let the dogs out and grabbed a shower myself, also extremely fast, my heart beating out of my chest.

  With Cleo and Leo asleep on the rug just outside the door, I turned the lights off and went to her, anticipation killing me. My nerves pricked my skin, loud thumps were heard in my ears, and even my hands were clammy. I knew as soon as I saw the blankets around her neck that she was indeed naked. She kept her eyes on the ceiling when I slid into bed, sliding out of my shorts as I moved next to her.

  Jaq tensed her already stiff body when I slid my hand over her bare stomach. I calmed her with a soft kiss to her shoulder, stilling my hand.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell anyone Jaq?”

  “What?”

  “You know. That’ you were a girl.”

  “I was afraid to.”

  “Did you think you would get into trouble?”

  “No, I wasn’t afraid of that. I was afraid to be a girl.”

  “Afraid of what, Jaq?”

  “I can’t explain it, Ollie. I didn’t have a mom like you. She was scared and I learned to be afraid with her.”

  I moved her leg over mine, but I placed my hand back on her stomach. She was opening up to me, and I didn’t want to ruin that. There was a fear of her thinking I was only asking as a form of counting Skittles, a way to distract her for sex. “Where is your dad?”

  “I don’t know. My mom doesn’t know who he was.”

  “She was raped?”

  “Lots of times. They took her from her village in Laos when she was only thirteen.”

  I kissed Jaq’s forehead and pulled her into my arms, hating what I was hearing, but needing to hear it. That might not have been the time I would have picked for her to open up, but what I wanted could wait. The strong desire to play with her pussy was beat out by a stronger desire to put her needs before mine. Jaq had something very heavy on her chest, a weight I was sure she’d never exposed before, and I planned to listen.

  “Laos, Southeast Asia?”

  “Yes. The younger the better. That’s what she said. First, she went to New Zealand where she worked with a trainer and then she went on a stage with a bunch of other girls.”

  “She was sold?”

  “Yes, for sex; she was ninety-four. Not Hye, just Ninety-four. That’s what they called her if they wanted her to come.”

  “Hi?”

  “No, Hye. Hi-Ee.”

  “Oh, gotcha. She told you this?”

  “Yes, all the time. I heard very gruesome details about what happened to her. She was taken to Thailand after she got too old.”

  “How old was too old?”

  “She was seventeen when they took her there. That’s where they made her go with a roomful of men in masks, sometimes up to fifty. Sometimes there would be two girls and she wouldn’t have to do it so much, but not very often. It depended on what they were paying for.”

  “But who were these guys?”

  “Regular guys like you. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, mayors, priests.”

  “No, I mean the guys who took her.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. She said it happened all the time. They herd them into an auction warehouse just like a cattle barn, numbers and all.”

  My fingers brushed back and forth over her arm while I listened, coaxing lightly with questions to keep her talking. Sour bile burned my chest, thinking about the nightmare not only her mother lived, but the one she made Jaq live as well. “So you were always a boy? Since you were born?”

  “Yes, but she was only trying to protect me. She didn’t want anyone to hurt me like they did her. They wouldn’t take a scrawny little boy.”

  “What about your baby brother? Who was his dad?”

  Jaq took a moment to respond and shut down. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I thought you wanted to touch me.”

  I pondered my answer very carefully, kissed her forehead, and sidestepped her assumption. “Our last summer here Silas and me built a time capsule out of wood. We buried it somewhere on the far side of the lake, out by the eggs. I look around for it every time we walk out that way, but I can’t for the life of me remember where.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? What’s in it?”

  “I figured you would think it was silly.”

  Jaq’s body jerked in my arms with a grunt and a puff of air. “Ha, you’re worried about me thinking you’re silly? What did you put in it?”

  That’s where our night went. I talked to her about the silly things Silas and I had stored away for someone to find in a hundred years. The only problem with that was the fact that we never marked it. I had no idea where it was buried.

  I closed my eyes when Jaq yawned, becoming quiet as the night fell upon us. As disappointed as I was, I was happy Jaq had trusted me enough to tell me what she had.

  “Ollie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You can touch me. I want you to.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  My first instinct was to flip her flat on her back before she changed her mind, but again, I remembered who I was dealing with. Rather than me towering above her to kiss her lips, I pulled her to me. I swear we made out for ten full minutes, and I’m almost sure I felt her hips thrust toward me a couple times. Then again it may have been my hips thrusting into to hers. At one point, I raised her leg over my waist, hoping she’d just know what to do and move up and sit on my throbbing rod.

  She didn’t. I had to make the move. All the moves. My hands slid up the back of her leg and I raised it higher, running my fingers to the inside of her leg and up to her ass. Time seemed to stand still and I didn’t care if it went any further than where it was at. Her naked body blanketing mine was euphoric enough, but of course I tried. I slid two fingers between her legs, spreading her slipperiness through her slit, my cock pressing hard against her leg.

  “I want to taste you, Jaq,” I rasped, our lips separating, mine sucking hard on her neck. My lips lifted her off me slowly, moving her to her back, my fingers instantly finding her throbbing nub. “Do you like this, Jaq? Does this feel good on your clit?”

  “Stop talking dirty to me. I don’t like it.”

  I laughed on her lips, shoving my tongue half way down her throat. “Okay, but I’m going to tell you what I think. I think you’re enjoying the hell out of this. That’s why you’re so wet. That’s why your hips keep bucking int
o my fingers. Do you know what else would feel good?”

  “I hate you, Ollie.”

  “No, you don’t. You don’t have to be shy with me, Jaq. It’s me. Ollie. I’m trying to make you feel good, not embarrassed.”

  “I am embarrassed, but it does feel good. I like it.”

  An instant smile took over my face. “Can I lick it?”

  Jaq covered her face with her hands and groaned, but she didn’t say no. Of course, I took that as a yes. Coming to my knees, I stroked my cock, fisting it hard into her swollen nub. I spread her legs, lifting them for the best view and took my position. She never uncovered her face and I never made her. If hiding behind her hands made it easier for her, who was I to stop her? Besides, I had other things on my mind.

  Her body tensed when I split her with two fingers and moved in, her scent touching my senses was forever implanted within me, burned in my memory. My tongue strolled through her slit, her taste also implanted, a distinct taste I would never forget. I could have licked her pussy for hours and never tired of it. That’s how sweet she tasted.

  I devoured her, sucking and licking while my middle finger moved in and out of her, hoping and praying she would let me make love to her. Needing it more than anything I had ever needed in my life, or at least, wanting it, anyway. Although at the time the need was as strong as the want. As hard as I tried, she didn’t come. Her hips would sway every now and again, she whimpered a time or two, and she even opened her legs more, but she didn’t come. I finally gave up when I was ready to explode.

  Jaq moved her hands when she felt me crawl up her body, my chest meeting her amazing breasts at the same time my lips met hers. Again, we kissed for what seemed like forever, but I asked before I slid it in. I raised myself a bit and looked down, holding my rock hard cock with my hand, sliding it up and down her wet slit.

  “Can I put it in?”

  “I’m scared.”

  “I’ll be easy and go very slow. You tell me if it hurts, and I’ll stop. Promise.”

  Jaq covered her face again, agreeing with a muffled tone. “Okay.”

  I smiled and moved her hands, kissed her lips, and moved my head to her entrance. From there on is where it all went downhill. One minute she was fine, her eyes holding a gaze with mine, her hands flat on my chest, and her legs spread wide, and the next…

  “Stop! Stop! Stop!”

  “Okay, okay. You’re fine. You’re fine, Jaq. I’m off. I stopped.”

  I tried to calm her down with a hand to her chest, but she moved it. Not before I felt how fast her heart was beating though. She shoved me away and leaped from the bed. “I told you no. I told you I can’t do this.”

  “Jaq, come here, baby. It’s fine. We won’t do that. I promise. Please come here.”

  Jaq opened her dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of flannel pants, sliding them up her hips, omitting panties, and tossing a shirt over her head. “I don’t want to, Ollie. I don’t want any of this. I told you I couldn’t be your girlfriend. You knew that.”

  “Okay, okay. Did you think about going with me tomorrow? What if you don’t get a boy and a girl? What if it’s two girls or two boys? You’ll have to come up with new names.”

  Jaq dropped the string she was tying around her waist and stared at me with a deadpan glare. “Fuck your Skittles, Oliver. What is wrong with you? I’m just like my mom. Can’t you see that? I’m never going to like men. Never.”

  I raised my hands, speaking in the softest tone I could muster. “Okay, Jaq. It’s okay. Calm down. You’re fine. I’m fine. How about ice cream? I got chocolate.”

  “You’re so stupid. Don’t you get it, Ollie?”

  Even I had a patience limit. Jaq had met it. I tried to hide the sarcasm, but I’m pretty sure I failed. “No, Jaq. I don’t get it. Why don’t you give it to me?”

  “Just leave. You’re being mean.”

  I groaned, my fingers running through my hair. “I’m not being mean, Jaq. I just don’t understand what you want. I thought we had a good day, I thought you were giving me signals all day, I thought you wanted this too, Jaq.”

  “I did. I do, Ollie, but I can’t. Do you want to know who my little brother’s baby daddy is? Our building manager. He was new. Because we lived in government housing, they were required to do annual inspections. I helped my mom clean our little apartment all day. She promised if I helped her we’d get pizza. The more we blended in, the more they would leave us alone. That’s what she said. She wanted everything to look nice so he would see everything was fine and leave. Only he didn’t leave.

  “He locked the door and told me to get out. Leave, boy. That’s what he said to me. I left. I left because I was scared. Everything my mother had warned me about was happening. Right there in front of me and I couldn’t stop him. My mom couldn’t stop him. Do you have any idea what that’s like for a five-year-old? I sat on the bathroom floor with the door locked, crying while I listened to him use her for his own sick needs. I heard him calling her a bitch, telling her to open her fucking mouth, spread her legs, bend over the table, and when she didn’t listen he hit her; guess what I did, Ollie? Nothing. I cried like a chicken shit coward. That’s what I did.”

  Tears streamed down her face while she relived the nightmare, her body trembling enough to see with my eyes.

  I didn’t give her a choice after that and I’m not sure I even thought about it. Coming to my feet in front of her, I swooped her into my arms, and sat in the accent chair in the corner. Jaq placed her arms in her lap and relaxed while I cradled her, kissing her forehead and shushing her with soft kisses.

  “You’re not going to scare me away, Jaq Tarantino. You might as well stop trying.”

  Jaq raised up and looked at me with watery blue eyes. “What if I do? I’ve never told anyone this stuff. Ever. Only you, and I don’t know why. I feel like I want you to know so you’ll just do it and I can stop worrying about it. So you’ll take me back.”

  I wiped her tears away with the palms of my thumbs. “I’m not taking you back anywhere, Jaq. What do I have to do get you to understand that? I love you. I’ve never loved anything like I love you. Don’t you get it? I want this life with you. Not by myself. I don’t even like animals, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be busting my ass to create a sanctuary for butterflies. I want you. I’m always going to want you, and I am going to keep showing you, day after day after day. I’m going to show you until you know it, until you’re not afraid of that anymore.”

  “You love me?”

  “Yes, I love you, and I’m not ashamed of that.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t do good, Ollie. I tried. I just kept hearing that man do to my mom what she always warned me about.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m an idiot. I saw the signs, but ignored them, hoping you’d be okay after a couple minutes. It’s my fault, not yours, and I promise I won’t try again. You tell me. When you’re ready for that you can come to me.”

  “But I won’t.”

  “Then you don’t. I’m still going to want you.”

  “What about your dad’s formula? Maybe that would help me.”

  I thought about how excited I was to find those notebooks and cure her with my dad’s breakthrough miracle drug before answering. The only thing that kept me from searching high and low for them was the realization that she didn’t need them. She needed loved. That’s it. Jaq just wanted to be loved. “Maybe later. You’re doing great, Jaq. You’re sleeping most of the night, you’re digging dirt and planting flowers, you’re being a best friend to all these animals, you’re wearing shorts, and you just let me lick your pussy for like twenty minutes. You don’t think you’re doing better? You are. Every single day.”

  Jaq gave me that wide eyed look where she was about to give me hell, her cheeks rosy just below her eyes. “I’m going to stop talking to you if you don’t stop doing that.”

  “The pussy part?”

  “You suck. Stop it.”

  “Okay, but can
I ask you one question?”

  “No, you can’t and yes, I liked it,” she answered my unasked question, her strong tone moving back to frightened Jaq. “I’ll try to do it again. I want to, and not only for you. For me, too. I’ll get better. I promise.”

  I pulled her head to my chest and kissed her damp hair, still half wet from her shower. “I’ll just keep playing with it, licking it, and using your stomach. I don’t mind that at all.”

  “You know; I would have never dreamed you were this bad.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’re kind of a nerd. A cute one, but still a nerd.”

  “Oh, I see. You judged me by my brains. You expected me to be boring. Right? Smart guys can’t be dirty?”

  “You are dirty. I hate it.”

  “Yeah, that’s why you get so wet when I touch you.”

  “You don’t even have to touch me. That happens all the time. All day long.”

  I smiled and kissed her head again, surprised and grateful. “What happens?”

  “You already know. That’s what I mean by I’m trying. I feel the sensations, the throbbing, the wetness, and my body wants it, but my mind is just not there yet. That’s the best way I can describe it, but it’s not you. You do things to me that I can’t control, that I’ve never felt before, but I’m still scared, Ollie.”

  “I make your pussy throb?”

  “Have I told you how much I hate you?”

  I laughed and pulled her closer, inhaling a deep breath, relaxing from all the drama, content with where we were. Another step forward, a little more trust earned, and half a hard on below her ass.

  “Want me to do it with my hand?”

  Did I say half a hard on? I meant a full on painful erection. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. I can do it,” she assured me, her leg moving for her hand.

  Of course, I let her, a quiet moan humming from my chest. I really wanted her to move off my lap so I could shift my hips. Her hand stroked up and down, but the position we were in kept her from going all the way. I needed her to go all the way. Holding her back, I leaned forward with her, arranging a leg on each side of me while sliding my ass down to the edge of the chair and her straddling me. In flannel pants, but whatever.