Dark Offering

by Elizabeth James

  He shivered. No. He did not want the colony. He didn’t want to go back to meaningless work and he didn’t like to think of how the president had laughed off the claim that they were all equal. There was a clear hierarchy that he had never been aware of before but this past year it had become clear. He was vital to the survival of the colony but that also meant he had less freedom than most. He had never noticed it before but all his work was fairly easy and didn’t put any physical strain on him. It couldn’t, because they needed him in perfect shape for the harvest each year. His relationship with Ender was similarly scrutinized. The president herself had involved herself in the relationship, though she didn’t care about most couples unless they were petitioning to have a baby. They watched him carefully, and he had no freedom. He had never had any freedom, but he had never realized it before. Even Doss viewed him as a useful harvester and not really as a unique person. It was the flaw of the colony, he realized. They were all supposed to work seamlessly together as a unified whole. Rather like the collective consciousness of the planet, he supposed. And he didn’t want to be a part of it. He wanted to be his own person, unique and not subject to anyone else. In the colony he was owned by others; out here he chose who he belonged to. He wanted to offer himself to Arlen and he would, and he couldn’t escape the music of the planet now but he could ignore it. He remembered how Arlen had once said he liked being an individual and Jarl agreed. He turned his back on the colony and made his way deeper into the woods, taking off his mask and letting it drop to the ground. Either the planet accepted him or it didn’t. There was no point hiding anymore.

  Chapter 16

  Jarl hadn’t gone far into the woods when he saw Arlen leaning against a tree, waiting for him. He climbed over the fallen branches between them and Arlen embraced him. They were in dense forest, the kind he had never dared go in before. There were almost no paths to walk on and the undergrowth reached to his knees amidst the boulders and fallen trees and branches. He was frightened, though trying not to show it. The sun was lowering rapidly and he had never been out in the woods in the night outside of the four nights of the peace. He knew he was part of the planet now but he was still scared. Arlen stroked his head.

  “You’re sure about this?”

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I thought about it. I’m sure.”

  “No one knows what will happen to you tonight,” Arlen said softly. “It’s never happened before.”

  He was suddenly aware of other creatures around them, watching them.

  “Is there somewhere else we could go?” he asked. “Somewhere I can see the moon?”

  Arlen nodded and began leading him. He had spent the past four days annoyed at Keisha’s inability to get around the simple obstacles in their path and now he wondered if Arlen felt the same about him, because he was struggling in the dense woods. Soon they reached a clearing similar to the one where Arlen had first shown him the moon. It was just rising and the last of the sun’s rays faded into night. He shivered.

  There were still creatures around them, though they stayed in the trees and didn’t come into the small clearing. He could see flashes of moonlight on their fangs and it chilled him to the core, reminding him of the female creature who had threatened him. Was he really comfortable out here like this? Not comfortable, he knew. He would never be comfortable. But was it better than in the colony?

  A wind picked up and he flinched as the music of the planet surged suddenly. He turned to Arlen without thinking and offered himself, unable to help himself. Arlen put his hand on his heart and held him close as he felt an echo of the desperation that had driven him that night a year ago. There was no desperation this time, but he still needed it. After a few moments, he gasped and pulled back enough to look at the moon. Calm filled him and the urge to offer himself faded. The moon filled his awareness as it had almost every night since he had discovered it. A scream ripped through the night and he started in shock, his gaze broken as he looked around. It was a man’s scream, and it had sounded terrified.

  Arlen grabbed his chin and forced his head to look at the moon again.

  “Look at it,” he said softly. “That’s the best you can do for them right now. Make them stop offering themselves.”

  He took a deep breath and focused on the peace of the moon again, letting it fill him. There were no other screams. Time passed in a blur and soon he felt exhaustion wash over him. Arlen helped him lie down on the ground, still looking up at the moon, and lay next to him. He reached over to hold his creature’s hand and sighed. It felt like it did during the peace. It didn’t feel like anything was different. His eyes slipped shut.

  He saw a spinning orb in front of him and when he tried to look around, the orb encompassed his entire vision. It wasn’t the moon; it was Ylse. He recognized the blue and green and brown masses, though a heavy layer of clouds blurred the edges. He could feel the planet deep in his soul, singing to him. And he felt how perfect it was. Everything was in balance. There was a cycle to the song, a rhythm that the creatures and plants of the planet followed. Birth and death happened naturally as part of the song and he could feel the planet’s enjoyment of this rhythm. Then he saw a small ship approach and land on the surface. The colonists. Immediately the song swung out of rhythm and he could see ripples across the surface as the human’s poison spread. Soon there was a yellowish glow to the area where he knew the colony was and he could feel how discordant it was in relation to the rest of the planet.

  He felt the planet’s attempts to send the song into the colony and could sense the humans within driven insane. He felt the planet attempt to copy the song of the humans, creating hybrid creatures that were part of her and yet not, and realized those were the creatures of the night like Arlen. They weren’t truly from this planet, he realized in shock. They were part human. That made sense, as they were spawned by human dreams, but it was an odd realization to think that the planet herself wasn’t sure how to treat the creatures.

  He could sense the moon’s influence suddenly, an outside force working with the planet to draw out the poison from the humans. And then he saw a beam of light from the moon strike down to the surface. The image seemed to zoom into him and Arlen laying in the clearing staring at the moon. Not this time, not tonight, but their first night together when he had first really seen the moon. He saw his body outlined in the same yellowish aura as the colony and it was lessened in the moonlight. He felt the planet’s hope, but it wasn’t enough. He felt the song rise again, spreading into the colony to draw out the humans, and saw himself leaving. He flushed, not wanting to see what came next, but the scene played on despite his wishes. He saw himself leap into a kiss with Arlen and felt the planet’s surprise, and then he saw the yellowish aura around him start to be drawn into Arlen. He saw the poison drawn from his heart into his creature, neutralized and made safe. When all the poison had been drawn from him, he saw the planet attempt to reach out to him and he heard the song as he’d been hearing it this past year. He had become part of the planet. He had given his heart to the planet and in doing so, had ceased to be poisonous. He felt the planet’s hope, but also her impatience for other humans to do the same, and frustration that they weren’t all embracing this new path. He felt the creatures, who were still so oddly independent from her, urging patience, and he saw their hope about this year and what might happen with this peace. He saw himself under the moon again, as he was tonight, and he saw Arlen lean over him.

  “Jarl,” Arlen said, shaking his shoulders. He jolted awake. They were in the exact positions he had seen just a moment ago and he was disoriented for a moment. The music had subsided and the moon had set. The horizon was glowing with the coming sun.

  “What were you dreaming?” Arlen asked with a fang-bearing smile. “You looked peaceful. I’ve never seen a human peaceful while they sleep.”

  “How often do you watch humans sleep?” he responded, sitting up and looking around. There were still creatures around. Arlen laughed.

&nbs
p; “We often watch you during the peace. I watched you many times before I approached you.”

  Jarl shivered, not liking to think about the creatures spying on the humans when they believed they were safe. But they were safe during the peace. It was the only time humans and creatures could interact without the humans being driven to offer themselves and the creatures driven to feed on them. It was the only rhythm the planet could create to try to integrate the humans into its melody. Offering and feeding, with only a few precious days of relief.

  “I dreamt of the planet,” he said softly. “Of how she came to be. Of what I’ve done to her.”

  “You’ve saved her,” Arlen said.

  “Not yet,” he pointed out. “I’m just one human, one they barely listened to.”

  He sighed and looked around. “Did anyone die? Did Keisha survive?”

  “We did not try to lure Keisha and the other tonight,” he said. “We could see several areas where there were many guards. But others came, and one died. He did not look at the moon.”

  Jarl shivered. So that scream he had heard had likely been someone’s death. But the man would have died whether he was out here or not. Keisha was safe for another night, but…

  “What do you mean, the other?”

  “The one on the next longest path,” Arlen said. “Jonah? One of us approached him. He seemed receptive.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “We don’t have time on any of the other paths,” he said. “A few of us showed ourselves on the other paths but we didn’t take time to talk to anyone. On most of the paths you humans can run back to the colony within a day if we frighten you, and we want to make sure you get to the plants and back.”

  That was true, he had to admit. So a creature had revealed itself to Kandor’s replacement. If they lost both Keisha and Jonah, then the colony would be in a very bad situation indeed. Losing the harvesters from the two longest paths two years in a row would be deadly. He wished the creatures hadn’t approached both of them, but he understood their impatience now. They wanted to neutralize the humans’ poison and this was the only way they knew how.

  “When will you lure them here?”

  “When the guards leave. It may take a few days, as it did with you.” Then he grinned. “You survived the night, Jarl. No human has ever done that. I was worried when you offered yourself to me at first.”

  “It wasn’t the same,” Jarl said with a blush. “I wasn’t desperate last night. It was just… a craving. An instinct. The music wasn’t nearly enough to make me lose my mind.”

  “I’ll stay close to you every nightfall,” Arlen promised. “I don’t want you offering yourself to anyone else.”

  Jarl shuddered at the thought. What if he had instinctively offered himself to another creature? He had pulled back quickly to look at the moon, but if he had offered his body so a creature and it started to eat him, he might be crippled. He didn’t want to be injured out here.

  “What do you do during the day?” he asked. “Do you sleep? I’ll have to change when I sleep.”

  Arlen laughed. “We have no need of sleep.”

  “Then why do you leave every day during the peace?”

  “You carry guns,” Arlen pointed out, and he realized he still had his gun. He would never use it on Arlen but he didn’t want to get rid of it. If something else threatened him during the day, he needed to defend himself.

  “Are there other animals out here during the day?”

  “There are,” Arlen said. “Some are dangerous. I will stay with you and protect you, but the planet wants you to survive. That may change in time, but you’re safe for now.”

  “Am I safe from the other creatures?” he asked, thinking of the female creature.

  “We hear the planet’s music, but we aren’t compelled to obey,” Arlen said. “We’re individuals. If someone is determined to hurt you, they can. But I will be with you, and they would never hurt me just to get to you.”

  That wasn’t especially reassuring but he had known there would be danger out here. He had accepted it. And there was nothing he could do about it now. He looked in the direction of the colony. He was completely alone now. Even if he tried to go back, they would never accept him. They might let him into the colony, but they would conduct experiments on him and question him and break him. He would never be among humans again, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He didn’t want to be in the colony, but he hadn’t really understood that he wouldn’t see any humans at all. The longest he had ever been without seeing a human was the five days of the peace, and he had always been ready to see friendly faces when he returned. He supposed he might be able to see more humans in the peace next year, but that was a long way off and he had to survive until then.

  His stomach growled and he pulled out the small bag he had kept that held his food rations. They were almost completely gone, as they were only designed to last five days. Arlen watched him eat the tough bits of dried meat and drink the remnants of his water. He tossed the empty bag and canteen to the ground.

  “I’ll need food and water,” he said cautiously.

  “Keep these,” Arlen said, picking up the bag and canteen. “I can bring you to another plant but you’ll need to carry the pods, and we may be traveling to places where water isn’t easy to find. The planet will provide everything, but not all at once. You must learn to pace your eating and drinking to harmonize with her.”

  “I’ll try,” Jarl said. “But humans need food pretty regularly, and water too.”

  “I’ve watched you, and been with you,” Arlen said. “I know what humans require. You will survive.”

  He drew closer and traced a hand down Jarl’s chest.

  “I need to eat, too,” he said suggestively. “I enjoyed feeding on you last year. I was disappointed we couldn’t do it when I came to your colony.”

  Jarl’s cheeks heated but he turned into Arlen’s embrace and stroked his face, gazing into those ebony eyes. He leaned up and kissed him softly, lips only.

  “I wish we could kiss,” he said with a sigh. “But I’ll give you my body any other way you want.”

  “Will it kill you?” Arlen asked seriously, and Jarl chuckled.

  “Not if we’re doing it right,” he said. “It won’t be like last time, but it’ll still be good.”

  Arlen slid his hand around Jarl’s waist and squeezed him tight. Jarl blinked in surprise.

  “Right now?”

  “What better time?” Arlen asked in a husky voice. “Or is it something you only do at night?”

  “Well, you normally do it at night,” Jarl said, pushing back slightly. “But I’m filthy. I’ve been wearing this for days and I need to bathe before I even consider something like that.”

  Arlen smiled and took his hand, leading him into the woods. He followed, wondering if this was going to be his life from now on, following and scrambling over boulders and branches and struggling to keep up. Arlen seemed to move through the woods effortlessly and he thought of how Keisha had struggled at even basic obstacles. This had to be how she felt. He hated it. Soon they had made their way into the depths of the forest where the sun only barely filtered through the thick trees. It was terrifying, as the woods were closely aligned with death in his mind. Anyone who went in the woods died unless they kept to the specific paths they were taught and it was during the peace. He had only gone off the path once, with Arlen, to see the moon. He had never been this lost before and knew he could never get out on his own. It was a strange feeling of helplessness and he didn’t like it.

  He heard the sound of water nearby and soon they emerged onto the banks of a river. He stopped and stared. He had no idea there was a river so close, and it was a large river, too, and looked deep. Depending on how deep it was, he might be able to cross it, but the current looked fast in the middle. Towards the edges, though, it lapped against the shore quietly. He looked at Arlen.

  “I liked the pond you showed me better,” he said. “This looks li
ke I might get washed away.”

  “We’ll stay in the shallows,” Arlen assured him.

  “Are there creatures in the water?”

  “None that will hurt you,” he said, and Jarl eyed the water cautiously. Arlen let the drapes of cloth that covered him fall to the ground and Jarl drew in a sharp breath. He had never seen Arlen naked like this and he was perfection. He licked his lips. He hadn’t been ready for sex before but seeing Arlen like this, he was. Arlen went into the water until it lapped around his ankles and looked back at him.

  “Are you coming?”

  Chapter 17

  Without a word, Jarl unstrapped his belt and set it next to his bag. He began peeling off his clothes with relish, not wanting to be trapped in them any longer. He could easily wash them in the stream, he considered. He didn’t have soap but it was better than nothing. And he didn’t have time to worry about that because Arlen was waiting for him with a soft smile that made his hands hitch as they pulled off his pants. He nearly fell over in his haste to undress but soon he was naked and Arlen was admiring his body. He blushed, feeling distinctly unclean. He ran a hand over his chin and the start of the beard that had grown over the past five days. He always hated having a beard but it was inevitable to some degree during the peace, but now he wondered what he was going to do about it. The creatures didn’t have facial hair; maybe they would recommend something. But Arlen didn’t seem like he objected to the beard, and that was all that mattered right now.