Where the Lotus Flowers Grow

by MK Schiller

“Liam,” I whispered. He ignored me. The chiseled lines of his face all hardened. “Liam, please.” I placed my hands around the crook of his arm and tugged. “It’s okay. Let’s go.”

  Liam pulled Stephen closer. I thought I misheard at first, but Stephen’s laugh was unmistakable. “Just like old times, eh?”

  Liam slammed Stephen against the desk with each of his statement. “You don’t look at her. You don’t talk to her. You don’t even think about her. Understand me?”

  “I didn’t invite Goldilocks into the bear cave. She came in here all on her own.”

  “I swear to God, Stephen, I will not stop at your jaw this time.”

  “Please, Liam.” My voice sounded small and distant. I repeated it, hoping it would anchor Liam before the waves of rage took over.

  Liam let go. I reached for his hand. He pulled me through the door, and then into the second office. It was identical to Stephen’s.

  He slammed the door and turned to me, rage still on his face. Except this time, it was plainly aimed at me. “Where the bloody hell have you been all day?”

  “I was…out.”

  The vein in his neck pulsed. “Out?” he asked as if he’d never heard of the concept.

  “Liam, are you all right?”

  “No, I’m not fucking all right. I’ve been calling the house all day. Miss Jenkins said you went out. Then Clawson said you left to get tea and never returned. I’ve been going mad with worry. Clawson went to the fucking café to look for you. Anderson was out searching for you as well. Finally, I couldn’t take anymore so I canceled my afternoon meetings and joined the search. It never occurred to me you might come here. Why the fuck didn’t you call?”

  Guilt pricked at me for wasting everyone’s time. “I did, but they said you were in meetings.”

  He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Where did you go?”

  “It’s a long story. I’d love to tell you, but not when you’re yelling at me. I’m sorry I worried you. I’ve never had to answer to anyone before.”

  “Jesus, Mary, I’m not your boss. You don’t answer to me. You tell me where you are so I don’t worry. That’s all. It’s what being in a relationship is about.”

  He took off his jacket and flung it to the couch by the door before slumping in his office chair. I saw his real emotion when the mask of his anger fell away. It was fear. I padded over to him. “I’m so sorry, Liam.”

  “I’ll have Anderson take you home. I’m behind schedule now. We’ll talk later.”

  Behind him on the credenza was a picture of me standing in front of the massive pillar at Elephanta Cave wearing his navy blue cap. He must have had it printed today. Doubts had crept through me all day, aided by Miss Jenkins, Liam’s assistant, and most of all Stephen. I feared he might be embarrassed of us…of me. But there I was, front and center in his life. When I turned back to him, I knew, although unintentionally, I’d hurt him.

  I bent to caress his cheek. “Look at me, Liam. Please.”

  He pulled me onto his lap and held me tight. His heartbeat had the rhythm of a war drum.

  “I can’t explain myself rationally,” he whispered against my hair.

  “You don’t have to.”

  He grasped my waist and sat me on his massive desk. In one swift move of his arm, all the contents spilled to the floor. His body pressed against mine, his mouth hungry as it devoured me in passionate kisses. The flush of heat wrapped around my body. He pushed my shirt up. His teeth slid across the cup of my bra, biting the fabric, tugging it lower. His tongue swirled around my breast. Tangling my hands in his hair, I moaned. He went lower, punctuating each increment with hard presses and nips and bites. Somewhere I heard the familiar rip of a condom. He gripped my hips so hard I was sure his fingers would leave marks. The first thrust was swift and deep.

  “Tell me you’re mine.” Although he said it in a low voice, the command was urgent.

  “I’m yours, Liam. Only yours.”

  His eyes blazed with a raw energy that captured me. He lowered his head to watch himself entering me. I did the same. Each thrust was more urgent than the last. Every muscle in my body vibrated with his movements. I bit my lower lip to keep from screaming out my ecstasy. He tugged it free with his own mouth. He swallowed my moans as I released. Heat filled between my legs. When we regained our breath, he kissed me. Not the rough kiss of claim or the passionate kiss of lust. This was a soft kiss against my lips…pure and sincere.

  He went into another room of his office, which I assumed was a bathroom. He brought a damp washcloth and cleaned me. Then he leaned back on the desk. We stared at the ceiling for a while.

  “I was going out of mind.” He reached for my hand. “Don’t ever do that again. I know you can take care of yourself, but you’re in a new city. A new country. A million things passed through my mind today. None of them good. You have no idea all the horrible things I imagined these last few hours.”

  “I promise I won’t worry you again.”

  He stroked my hair. “I’m sorry too, Mary. I should have made sure you had a cell phone. I was going to have Anderson get one for you today. I didn’t think you’d be going out. I shouldn’t have gone all starkers on you. I saw you in there with him…and something snapped.”

  I turned on my side to face him. “Liam, you don’t have to keep asking me. You asked once if I trusted you, and I do. But you need to trust me, too. I love you.”

  He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger. “Next time have Anderson drive you.”

  “I didn’t plan it this way. It just happened.”

  He kissed my head. “Tell me about your day, sweetheart. What did you do?”

  It seemed a bit silly to have this conversation lying naked on his desk. But yet, it was completely normal, too. I told him everything—from the beignets at the bank to my first friend, Chetan.

  “Should I be jealous?”

  I laughed. “You’re probably more his type than me.”

  “I would have helped you with the bank thing. You know you don’t have to spend your money. I’d rather you spend mine.”

  “Liam, you’re paying for everything. I can at least purchase for my own coffee.” Even as I said it, I did the mental calculations and realized I couldn’t pay for my own coffee for long.

  “Have it your way.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You rode the subway?”

  “Yeah, it was fun.”

  He kissed my forehead before standing. “Shall we go?”

  “Don’t you have work to do?”

  “I can finish up at home. Besides, I want to take my girl to dinner. I can hear your stomach rumbling.”

  On cue, it complained again. The beignet, as sweet as it was, had become a distant memory, and I was starving.

  We walked to the lift. A gorgeous, tall woman with red hair walked out. She smiled at Liam. He didn’t react, but I squeezed his hand as she headed toward Stephen’s office. “Is she from…the agency?”

  “Stephen has always preferred company he can pay for. Let’s not waste any more time talking about him.”

  I wondered how I had missed Liam exiting the lobby. As it turned out, he didn’t go through the lobby but an underground parking garage. The lights of a flashy red car turned on as we approached. He opened the door for me.

  “This is your car?”

  “One of them. Get in and buckle up.”

  The inside gleamed. He drove it through the city, shifting gears, weaving us in and out of traffic in an almost graceful way.

  He took me to a small Italian restaurant. I discovered lasagna…possibly the most addictive dish in the world. The layers of cheese melted in my mouth. So many kinds of cheese living in harmony in one dish. Surely, this was a delicious metaphor for the world.

  “How did you get along with Miss Jenkins?” Liam asked, cutting into his steak.

  I thought about my reply. If I told him I didn’t care for her, h
e might fire her. Everyone was entitled to a bad day. Besides, if I really wanted to maintain my own independence, I’d have to learn to fight my own battles. “Fine.”

  After we ate, he took me across the street to a brightly lit store.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “Getting you a cell phone.” He took out his wallet. “This is a credit card for your use. Don’t argue with me. You’ll need to purchase some warmer clothes. I love the way it looks on you, but you’re practically swimming in my sweater.”

  I didn’t argue.

  Chapter 35

  Mary

  I couldn’t move. His body had to be heavy, to be crushing me, but I didn’t feel anything. I was there, but I wasn’t. The shadow on the monitor was real. He had come for me, but I was the shadow now. I moved my mouth, but no words came out. He grunted as he sat up.

  The colors in the room faded together in a blur, as if they bled into each other. Every time I blinked, the shapes and colors shifted like the picture in Hannah’s kaleidoscope. I heard the sound of harsh slaps over and over. I didn’t feel it, yet, but I knew it was my flesh. Just as I knew the faint warmth between my legs was blood.

  “She is useless to me. You gave her too much.”

  “She fights, Sahib.”

  “I wanted her to fight. I enjoy the fight.” A ringing sound invaded my head. “Shut up,” he said.

  “Hello, dear. Yes, I arrived safely.”

  I tried to make a sound, but it only came out a muffled choke. A hand pressed against my mouth.

  “It’s street noise. Darling, I have to go. It’s the last leg of my trip.” He sighed. “What’s your problem? I always go to Jaipur every few years. This is business. What do you mean, he found it? Just calm him down.” His voice rose with each sentence. I struggled to scream, but he pressed down harder. Then I struggled to breathe. He was going to kill me while having a phone conversation.

  I tried to focus on him, but I couldn’t shift my head. It lay to the side, my cheek pressed into the pillow. There were two gold birds on the nightstand. They started moving, running to the edge of the table. They flew around my head. Concentrate, I told myself. It’s not real. But his hand felt real. Why weren’t the birds real? They liquefied and shimmered as they circled me. Their wings made a hard metallic thrashing sound as they flapped. I thought they might rescue me by carrying me away from this place. But they only flapped around my head, mocking me. They were vultures coming to pick at my dead flesh. I would be the carrion that sustained them.

  “It’s not what it looks like. You explain that to Bobby. You know how his mind works. No, wait. I’ll call him myself. The lines are bad here. I’ll call tonight when I arrive at the Wilshire. I have to go. Love you.”

  This monster was capable of love?

  His hand moved. I gasped and choked a lungful of painful air.

  The darkness came. I fought it.

  “Get the other girl.”

  “Sahib?” The guard said, his voice hesitant. “Which girl?”

  “You know which one.”

  “But sir…”

  “You heard me.”

  No. No. No. No.

  Not her. Take me. Please, please, please.

  “I already had you, bitch.” A glob of wet slime drooled down my face. He had spit on me. But it didn’t matter. I could speak. He’d heard me. My voice worked.

  Hannah’s screams marred me deeper than any cut. They marked my soul, turning it black.

  “Hannah, think about moonstones with shades of blue and yellow in them. Think about ice creams, sticky and sweet, dripping on your fingers. Think about the red balloons the toy-wallah sells. How you always let one go, and we would watch it fly into the air and disappear into the clouds. Think about all the stories I told you. God, Hannah, go somewhere else in your head.” I wasn’t sure if I said it aloud. I prayed she heard me. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move. This was the only protection I could give her.

  Her screams stopped. I prayed it was because he was done and not because the gold birds had taken my hands and lifted me. They were carrying me far away.

  The darkness came.

  I surrendered to it.

  I woke up with a start.

  “Are you all right, love?” he asked. “You were having a nightmare.”

  “Fine.”

  He rubbed my lower back.

  “Where did you go?” I asked, tugging at his sweatshirt.

  “For a run. Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head. “It was just a weird dream.” I hadn’t had the dream in so long. Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure if it had really happened, or if I’d just sewn faded bits and pieces of my fears together.

  Liam held me tightly until the sun rose, filtering light into the room. “Are you sure you’re all right?” He kissed my cheek.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “You up for taking a shower with me?”

  “Definitely.”

  “I’ll meet you in there. I have to make an overseas call real quick.”

  I ran into the bathroom and started the water. He opened the glass door, completely naked. I pulled him inside with me.

  “Why is it so bloody hot?” He moved to the far corner where I stood.

  I ran my hands down his front. “Because you’re in here? Also, it might have to do with the fact I have no idea how to operate this technology you call a shower.”

  He laughed, cupping my face. “Lola, I was under the impression you were a tech wiz.”

  I feigned the silly southern accent he claimed turned him on. “No sir, it’s the one area I don’t excel in.”

  He showed me how each of the functions worked, all the while kissing my shoulders and neck.

  “I want you right now,” he whispered in my ear.

  “It’s mutual.”

  “Did you bring a condom in here with you?”

  “No.”

  “Speaking of, will you go on birth control, love? It’ll make things more convenient and less risky for us.” He massaged my shoulders.

  “Yes, I can do that.”

  “Good.” He swept up my hair and kissed the back of my neck. I didn’t even flinch when he lowered his lips and kissed the burned part of my flesh. Then his fingers worked down my spine. Dear God, I cannot escape my nightmare, but please don’t let me wake up from this dream.

  Chapter 36

  Mary

  I braved the conversation with Miss Jenkins. I handed her the revised grocery list. “I’ve made a few changes.”

  She looked at it as if I’d written it in a foreign script. “I don’t know how to use these ingredients.”

  “No worries, I’ll be cooking dinner for Mr. Montgomery.”

  She shook her head. “He doesn’t care for heavy spices.”

  “I’m afraid you’re wrong on that account. He enjoys them very much. I think we both made a bad first impression the other day. Miss Jenkins, I understand you’ve been working for him for a while. I respect that you do a wonderful job here. But I need you to respect who I am. I’m an important part of Liam’s life. I’m not a guest. I suggest you recognize that sooner than later.”

  Her mouth gaped for a moment. I waited for her response.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Things between us would never be friendly, but I settled for cordial. Cordial was just fine by me. Anderson took me to a special market that carried ethnic foods, and then to the retail stores. I almost thought the saleslady would pull a Pretty Woman and tell me they didn’t cater to my kind, but she was very helpful. I stocked the cabinets with masala chai and the closets with warm clothes. I wanted to use my own money, but the prices were so outrageous, it would deplete me. Besides, Liam would be upset, so I swiped the credit card he gave me.

  I learned how to use the kitchen. I hadn’t cooked since I made meals for Hannah and Papaji. I missed the smells of frying and baking and sautéing.
/>   Thoughts about Stephen kept intruding at the oddest times. I hated him for what he’d done to Liam. At the same time, he reminded me of the story about the proud lion who had a pin stuck in his paw. He chose to live his life in pain rather than ask for help. I saw pain in Stephen, recognized it beneath the layers of his well-tailored suit and arrogance. As soon as I had them, I whisked the thoughts away like I did the eggs for our omelets on Sunday we ate before I left for church.

  Liam bought me an e-reader. He handed it to me with an air of nonchalance, as if it wasn’t the greatest gift in the world. One I would never refuse.

  We laid on the sofa in the media room, his arm around me. “You mean I can download any book. Any book at all? Then I can read it right away?”

  “Yes, Mary, for the third time, you are correct.”

  I stared at the device with suspicion. “Don’t deceive me with promises of grandeur, sir.”

  “Oh, my sweet girl, you think I’d make false promises when they would get me locked up in the doghouse?” He took the device from me. He typed highlander romances in the subject line. The screen filled up in an instant. “Look here. Which one do you want to read first, lass?”

  I shrieked with joy. I didn’t even realize there were that many highlander romances in all the world. “All of them.”

  “So it shall be.” He highlighted each one and downloaded them for me.

  I’d seen people with these devices at the hotel, but I never realized the lure until now. It was instant gratification at its best. He might as well have handed me drugs. “Liam, this is so dangerous. You may never see me again.”

  He nibbled my ear. “Really, never again?” His hand traveled down my body. “Would you choose fiction over…friction?”

  “Keep convincing me, sir.”

  “Let’s find something naughty to read instead, shall we?”

  He cleared his throat, and his clipped British accent filtered into the Scottish brogue he did so well. It wasn’t a very sexual scene, but I didn’t even make it to the end of the page before I told him to bookmark it.

  And he did.

  When I got bored, I went downstairs and chatted with Bill. He told me about his daughter in the military and his son in college. He asked me about India, his fascination evident with each conversation. Sometimes I’d cook him lunch. He raved about my saffron rice. Other times, he brought an extra sandwich for me. I was partial to egg salad.