Tori smiled at the boy, at the moment quite open to the idea of telling them where she came from. “That’s because, I’m not like you. Any of you. And to be honest, I don't really know who I am.” Tori didn’t want to share the most gruesome parts, but there were some things that she could give up about herself that would help with her problems; things that were safe for them to know.
“I was raised by a group of men who were not related to me in any way. They were mercenaries who made money by illegal means. They’re the ones who educated me, and I never went to school or did ordinary kid stuff.”
Derrick laughed, “Yeah, so you were home schooled.”
Some chuckled as well, and Tori tried to keep her sense of humor as she continued. “When they thought I was old enough, they forced me into their group, did unspeakable things to me,” she pointed at her eye, “And I did things for them that I deeply regret. When I had had enough, I killed them to stop them and gain my freedom.”
The room had become graveyard quiet, so she nodded to herself, “And now I’m trying to figure out who I want to be.” She shrugged and smiled, and her story ended.
Thinking for a bit, Max still wanted more, and asked, “And they taught you to speak Spanish and Russian?”
Tori lifted her shoulders again, “More or less, I learned naturally because they all spoke multiple languages. I actually also speak French and German. I guess you could say, they taught me a lot of unusual things.”
Derrick spoke up again, “You know, your life actually sounds pretty cool. I mean, last night was incredible!” He grinned widely, his admiration sincere.
Growing a little sad, Tori shook her head, “No, it hasn't been cool. It hasn't been cool at all. And last night, I only did what I had to do.” I always do… what I have to do. Reaching for her water, her expression became somber, and if anyone else had a question, they did not ask.
The party disbursed within the hour, and Tori felt free to return to her room and get ready for bed. Unpacking her suitcase, she put her things back into her chest of drawers. Picking up her jacket, she placed it onto the back of her chair. Opening her wallet, she stared at the pink piece of paper. She reached in to touch it for a moment, then closed the leather pouch and laid it aside.
Thinking about the events of the last twenty-four hours, she wondered if they had actually confiscated her tool kit from her jacket. To her surprise, she found it still inside the inner pocket, but even more shocking, she found the knife there. She pulled it out, staring at it; the thought occurred to her that the Feds were really playing games with her.
Dropping it back into the slot, she went around the bed and kneeled down to feel under the nightstand. Her heart began to pound as she touched the cold steel, still taped underneath. Sitting on her knees, Tori began to tremble, and she wiped her mouth anxiously. Running her hands through her long hair repeatedly, she considered what it all meant.
Eventually, she put on her night clothes and curled up in her corner to sleep. Sitting there, with her face against the wall, she thought to herself wryly, someday you’re gonna have to learn to sleep in the bed. Eli Founder had tried to get her to, by putting her bed into the corner back in the mental ward of the hospital. In the end, she had squatted on the bed to lean in the corner.
Getting up when the alarm went off, Tori slipped into her workout gear and made her way downstairs. Running towards the playground, she thought about her new house rules that had been added, and wondered if she should be supervised at the moment. The thought of one of them getting up at 5:00 am to run with her made her laugh out loud.
Arriving at the school, her heart leapt into her throat when she made out the outline of a man, leaning on the bars she had been using to exercise. Stopping short of the grass, she stared at the figure, her chest pounding, as she comprehended she could be in danger.
The shadow noticed her, raising a hand to wave. Tori took a step back, and the figure began to jog over to her, nursing a slight limp. Holding her ground, she waited.
Terry came running up, a wide grin on his face. “Did I scare you?”
Tori began to laugh at her fear, her voice vibrating with relief. “What the fuck are you doing here, old man?” she demanded in a joking tone. And how he had known I use this spot? She didn’t bother to ask.
Spreading his hands wide, he proclaimed, “Supervising,” as if it should have been perfectly obvious.
She wasn't sure if he acted as the trainer, or if she did, but together, they worked through exercises and routines, and she never exercised alone again. It turned out to be great fun, because they pushed each other hard, exactly as she and Brian had done back in the day. However, she never forgot that moment of terror, and always wondered how much he came to supervise her, and how much he played the role of body guard.
One of the Girls
The three girls set out on their girl’s day out first thing after breakfast. Sharon had made some appointments for them in the morning, and they would look for clothes in the afternoon. Tori started to protest, upset she would miss work, but Sharon asserted she had the day off; Terry had insisted. Funny, he didn't mention it this morning, she grumbled to herself.
Taking the car, the trio headed over to a salon, where they were given manicures and pedicures. Tori had never experienced either one, and found that someone touching her feet felt very unnerving. Noticing that the other women seemed to be enjoying theirs, she laid her head back and tried to relax. Come on, you know how to do this. Just breathe.
She could feel the clippers on her toes as her nails were trimmed, which gave her the incredible urge to pull her foot away, but she made it through. She also felt as if she would hyperventilate when the attendant applied the creamy lotion. Peeking over, Lins giggled at her, and she wished she had something to throw at the girl.
When they were finished, she hoped they were ready to leave, but when they passed through a glass partition, she realized they were moving into the section for cutting hair. Twirling her lengthy locks around her hand, she began backing away, adamant there was no way they were cutting her wavy strands.
Showing her palms in a very non-combative manner, Sharon tried to reasure her, “They’re just gonna trim it and condition it for you, not cut too much off at all.”
Pointing at her, Tori demanded, “You gotta promise - no, you gotta swear; that’s all they’re gonna do.”
Sharon and Lins both raised their right hands to take the oath. With a sigh and a slight pout, Tori agreed and another attendant escorted her to a chair in front of a large black sink. Cautiously sliding into the seat, she leaned back and rested her neck on the rim.
A woman in a colorful smock massaged her scalp and washed her hair with minty smelling shampoo. This made her begin to feel more at ease than the footwork, and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, remembering the times Henry would wash her hair in the stream in Brazil, where she grew up.
Afterwards, the woman put in a deep conditioner, which she also rinsed out. Finally, Tori sat in another chair, her heart pounding as she watched them work in the mirror. A tall curvy woman combed through her long tresses, lifting sections to trim the ends. When the woman finished, Tori observed her ebony locks, noting a bit of bounce, and maybe a little extra sheen, but other than that, they looked the same to her.
Finally, the salon work completed, the time had come to look for clothes. Tori, already feeling exhausted, thought to herself, I wonder if I will ever like being one of the girls.
Entering a small boutique, Lins let out a small shriek and made a dash for a set of lacy skirts hanging on and next to a mannequin. Upon seeing this, Tori decided the answer to her previous question would be an emphatic no; being put off by skirts, lace and shrieking.
Turning away, she marched across the store, picking her way through racks of hanging garments. On the wall, there were tee shirts folded neatly on shelves. Looking across the rows, she saw many colors, solid and striped. Making her way down, she lifted a few, holding them up
to her body, and then dropped them back onto the piles. The last row was white. Finding the extra larges that fit her shoulders best, she counted out five and picked them up.
Watching with mild concern, Sharon suggested the girl try one other color, or maybe some tank tops.
Trying to be accommodating, Tori looked at the tank tops, then decided against them on account of her Dragon mark would show. She still could not shake the feeling of being vulnerable, and the idea that some unsavory person would recognize it made her reluctant to wear them.
Walking calmly down the row a second time, she finally did choose a second color: black. Picking up five of those as well, she felt she was done. Turning and giving her newest female friends a smile, she wanted to head for the exit.
However, Sharon led her over to the jean tables, where she had to choose from umpteen different styles and colors in those as well, until she finally decided to get more boot cut blue denim jeans, exactly like the ones she always wore. Sharon and Lins didn’t look happy, but Tori grinned from ear to ear as she placed the items on the counter.
Sharon had wanted her to try something new, and actually regretted offering to pay for them since she wasn't changing anything but her sleeves. Later, when she saw the scars on the girl's arms, she realized going sleeveless already meant a big change, and they would have to go for color the next time.
Finally finished, they stopped at a small café for an early dinner, where Tori felt the memory of the afternoon she had spent with Debra brought happily to mind. Sitting down to her meal, she wondered what had become of her first female friend. They had dined at a small outdoor eatery, and Tori had given in to the urge to share part of her story with the woman. She had, therefore, explained what had happened to her, the reason she would never be able to have children. She shuddered at the memory.
Seeing this, Sharon reached over in a motherly fashion and brushed the girl's long hair with her fingers. “Everything ok?” she asked in a soft voice.
Looking up from her lap to see the woman's face, Tori found the gesture comforting, and pondered for a split second what it might have been like to have a mother. “I'm fine,” she replied. “Just thinking; wondering what it's like to have a mom.”
Lins broke in, exclaiming in an irritated voice, “It depends on the mom. Mine is an example of the worst kind.”
Tori stared at her in disbelief. Lins had been talking to her for weeks about her life and how great it had been. She stated calmly, “Well, I guess you’ll have to explain what you mean by that then.”
Lindsey's mother was only sixteen when she was born, and had been a cheerleader in high school. A pretty girl, she had assumed that Lindsey's father would marry her, which he did. However, it did not take long for him to decide that being a family man was not what he really wanted to do, so he left them soon after he graduated.
Lindsey's mother had dropped out of school after being married, and had not finished. She was still a pretty girl and decided it would be easier to find a man who would take care of them than it would be to go back to school, or to work too hard herself. Lindsey was two when the parade of men started.
In seven years, her mother had dated several dozen prospective candidates. Several of them had been abusive, both to her mother, and to Lins herself. However, only after she came down with Trichomoniasis, an STD, had anything been done about her situation. She was nine at the time.
Taken from her mother, Lins went to live with her grandparents, who were mortified by their daughter's behavior. To compensate, they gave the girl whatever she wanted. By the time she herself was in high school, she was very sexually active, had a raging drug and alcohol problem, and had even had a miscarriage at the age of fifteen.
“And that’s how I ended up in a halfway house, at the age of eighteen,” she finished with a hint of anger in her voice. “After having spent a month in a residential treatment facility again earlier this year, my grandparents have finally given up on me, I guess.”
“And you blame your mom,” Tori's words came tumbling out before she had considered how they might sound.
Lins stared at her in a state of confusion, turning a palm to the sky, “Who else would I blame?”
Tori leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table. Taking a deep breath, she realized she had started a conversation she regretted.
“Well, don't get me wrong,” she tried to repair the damage. “I understand that your mother allowed people to do terrible things to you, and those things can never be undone. But at some point, you have to stand up and say, ok, from here on, this part is mine. It is and will be what I make it. That’s exactly where I am right now, trying to make this part mine.” Deep down, Tori only hoped there would be no more interference from her past in the process.
Lindsey stared at her for a moment, coming to realize their stories were very similar. “You said last night you weren't like any of us. But you were wrong!” she accused with a frown.
Tori quickly quipped an agreement, having come to the same conclusion, “Yeah, I see that; you and I have a lot in common, now that I have heard your real story. More than I ever thought could be possible.” She wrinkled her nose at the pretty blonde, “But, you never mentioned any of that stuff when we talked before. All you ever said was how great your life is and all the things you have gotten to do.” She ended in a slightly accusatory tone, not really sure if she was right to feel she had been lied to.
Lins nodded, “Of course,” the girl wafted her hand, “I don't go around telling people about all the bad stuff unless I really know them and can trust them. I focus on the good things around me and in my life. It helps me keep a positive attitude. Besides, it’s embarrassing to tell people you got an STD when you were nine years old because your mother's boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off; like it’s your fault somehow that some perverted bastard was touching you.”
Leaning back, Tori's mind raced. She had learned some very valuable lessons that day. When looking at people, I should look for the similarities instead of the differences. She also understood why Lins felt the need to keep people from knowing the truth; for the same reason she covered her own scars. She knew that made them even more connected.
Tori made a promise to herself; like her friend, she would be mindful to look at the good things around her more often, and accept the things she could not change. She felt guilty as she remembered where she had heard that before. Taking a deep breath, she contemplated the idea, maybe I might like to be one of the girls after all.
Down the Road
The next day, Tori got ready for her return to work. For the first time, she would wear one of her new white shirts, with the short sleeves. Her scarred face remained covered, but her arms showed. What's worse, she noticed that the V neck on the tees left her cleavage exposed, and therefore her bite mark on her left breast became visible at the right angle. She started to put on the long-sleeved that covered everything, but she had grown tired of wearing them, as they were constrictive and overly warm.
Instead, she rapped lightly on Lins' door. It’s time for another woman's opinion, she decided. The petite blonde responded after a few tries, and instantly Tori could tell she was not a morning person. She found herself laughing at the cute bed-head style the girl wore, and the robe that wrapped crookedly around her tiny frame.
“What do you want?” Lins demanded. “You have any idea what time it is?”
“Yeah, it’s seven,” Tori laughed again, having been up for a couple of hours. “I need your help.” Lins crinkled her forehead at her new friend, but stepped aside. Sitting on the edge of the bed to improve the view, the woman said bluntly, “See my cleavage?”
Lins scowled, “Is that a trick question?” Tori shook her head no, so the girl leaned over to peek down, and realized she meant the scar. “Oh,” she murmured, “Can't you put makeup on it? Like your face?”
Tori jumped up as if she had been shocked by a bolt of lightning. Grabbing the other girl for a quick hug, she called, �
�You're the best!” as she left the room.
“That's all you wanted?” Lins shouted after her, shutting the door heavily and flopping back onto the bed.
Back in her bathroom, Tori lifted her shirt over her head and inspected her breast. She opened the bottle of cover and applied a small amount to the bite mark. Of course, she then realized that the flesh on her chest did not match that on her face, so the spot of makeup showed up really well against her milky white skin. However, the teeth marks were not showing through, and in the end a dark spot would draw less attention than the alternative.
Pulling her shirt back over her head, she realized that this would be a good temporary fix. Leaning over so she could see down her shirt in the mirror, she grinned, very pleased with the results. She washed her hands and switched off the light on her way out, her hair bouncing as she walked. She stopped at the fridge for her customary water and fruit breakfast, and then took a seat at the small bar.
Richard had risen early that morning, and sat at the large dining table they had feasted at the night before last. Giving him a half smile, she noticed he had a very large book in front of him. Thinking back to the collection she had once owned, a small sigh escaped her glossed lips.
Almost instantly, she remembered Lins' advice about not dwelling on the sad things she could not change. Tori switched her thoughts to something more positive, and went over the things she had learned so far at the store.
This brought a smile to her features in an instant. Terry had been diligent about giving her new skills she would be able to use down the road. He had taught her about several aspects of running a business, such as paying the bills and handling the cash. She still had a lot to learn though. Glancing up at the clock, it read 7:30, and she needed to be on her way. Giving Richard a friendly smile and “See you later,” she picked up the frosty water bottle and headed out the back of the house.
A New Life Series - Starter Kit Page 26
