A New Life Series - Starter Kit

by Samantha Jacobey

  Her face became wrinkled in a strange expression of confusion, “I don’t know. You make me feel all weird, like you’re watching me, but you’re not watching me. And you’re nice to me, which doesn’t feel right.”

  It was his turn to be confused. How can someone being nice not feel right? Does she really expect me not to be, especially since I promised to treat her better? Michael sidled closer to her, “And?”

  “And that’s it. Something about you doesn’t feel right.”

  He moved to stand very close to her, not touching her, but definitely in her space. He could hear the change in her breathing, and he half expected her to back away. He shifted his gaze from her pure blue eyes to her perfect pink lips and back again. “Everything’s fine, baby girl,” he tried to comfort her.

  “Don’t call me that!” she objected loudly. He raised an eyebrow in question, and she continued angrily. “That was Henry’s name for me. I don’t want you to use it. You,” she huffed loudly, “Are not Henry.” She shook her head, a tremor in her voice.

  Michael smiled, confident they had hit upon the problem. “You still miss him, don’t you?” he asked the question with a flat tone, like a statement.

  She glared at him for a long moment. “I don’t know. He’s been gone a long time. And even when he was alive, we weren’t permitted to be close to each other. It’s almost like he died…” she trailed off, unable to finish, but he knew what she meant.

  Henry had told him long ago about the one night they had shared and how special it had been to him. He felt confident it had been special to her, too. Abruptly ending the conversation, Michael stomped back to the house, unwilling to fight with her and wishing he didn’t look so much like a dead man.

  Lost Loves

  After a shower and breakfast, they cracked open the shop and started poking around. Upon entering, Michael commented that they should have opened it first and stayed in there, as it was in much better condition than the small cottage. The windows were boarded, but intact, and the walls only needed paint. If the tools had still been inside, it would have been almost perfect.

  They discovered the roll up door needed to be replaced, so they made a trip to the small hardware store to place an order to have one delivered and installed. During the outing, Tori seemed especially quiet and even more standoffish than usual, as if she were trying to keep him away. Michael blamed their heated conversation that morning, and tried not to reignite the debate.

  By the time they arrived home, he felt exhausted with preserving the peace between them. She cooked a surprisingly very tasty dinner, and he grinned while he devoured it. “This is fantastic,” he breathed airily, but she only stared at him in return.

  Michael rocked his jaw side to side as he studied her. “Hasn’t anyone ever given you a compliment before?” He hoped his tone wasn’t too angry or condescending. However, he had grown weary of dancing around her past life, and felt ready to clear things up, before they choked on it.

  Tori shrugged, her eyes roaming between her half eaten meal and her newest roommate’s rugged features, “I guess they have, but it’s hard to take them as sincere,” she practically called him a liar to his face. “I wasn’t exactly raised by a nice group of men, you know; and the ones I’ve known since then weren’t any more trustworthy in the end.”

  Her voice trailed away, feeling a little guilty for lumping him and Henry in with all the rest so out of hand. Besides, there had been more than a few in LA who had genuinely cared for her, and she had chosen to put them behind her for their safety, not because they were unworthy of her friendship or trust.

  Nodding slowly while stabbing meat on his plate, “I get it,” Michael agreed. “I used to think I was pretty alone in the world myself. I mean, Henry was pretty much my only family. With him gone, you’re just about the only friend I’ve got.”

  Tori sat wide eyed, not having realized they had become friends until he pointed it out. Swallowing hard, she wasn’t sure what to say next. Opening her mouth, she muttered an inaudible comment about friends coming few and far between. She then stared at her plate, unable to eat another bite, her stomach in knots.

  Deciding he had pushed her enough, he let the conversation fade and finished the delicious meal. She’s turned out to be one hell of a cook, even if she can’t stand to hear it. Not domesticated… whatever she tells herself, he thought to himself with an inward chuckle. As he finished cleaning his plate, she surprised him by reopening the discussion.

  “Would you like to hear about them?” she spoke at a whisper.

  Michael chewed his last bite slowly, “About who?”

  “About them. The men I was involved with. There have only been two, besides your brother. I don’t count any of the ones…” her voice trailed away again.

  Her proposal sounded odd, and he considered it for a moment, wondering what her motive for sharing the tales could be. Giving her a small nod, he braced himself for whatever she was going to throw at him.

  Upon his agreement, Tori took a deep breath and began with Eli, then moved on to Enrique. It took her less than half an hour to tell him everything she could remember and that she was willing to share, about both men, combined. As she finished, Tori quietly admitted, “I didn’t actually love either of them. I mean, I thought so at the time; when I was with them. But I know better now.”

  Michael’s heart began to pound, she knows better now, huh, “What makes you think you didn’t love them? You had sex with them, obviously you felt something for them, in order to allow them to touch you.” He waited patiently for her to get her story straight.

  “Because I can’t remember them,” her explanation simple. “I try to think about them, but there’s nothing there, other than the sex. Like they didn’t really exist, or I didn’t really know them. They could have been anyone. It’s kind of like the drinking. I did it because it’s what I had always done, like a habit. Not because I loved them or should have been with them. No more, no less. I’ve reached the point I don’t even believe in love.”

  Her words shocked him, and he frowned, “You know you loved Henry. You have to know that.” Shaking her head, she avoided looking at him, and he could tell she had grown uncomfortable again and sat in silence for several minutes while he waited for her to continue.

  Finally, after a lengthy pause, she admitted in a submissive tone, “Henry meant a great deal to me, but he was at least twenty-five years older than me. Our relationship wouldn’t ever have been normal, even if we had somehow been able to leave the Dragons and make a life together. I think that’s why he wanted to send me away. To someone else.”

  “You mean to me,” he stated flatly.

  Tori stared at him, a shocked expression crossing her features, “I mean you what?”

  “You mean to me. Henry, he intended to send you… to me.”

  Breathing in short pants, she realized he was right. Henry had made him promise to take care of her, and obviously did intend for the two of them to be together. Her brow furrowed, “Surely he didn’t think we would be a couple.”

  Michael pushed the bare plate away and folded his hands in front of him to lean on his elbows. “Who knows what the man thought? The only thing we can be certain of is, I have fulfilled my promise to him.” He smiled, hoping she understood how important that fact was to him.

  She met his gaze, her expression thoughtful as she continued, “You know, I was almost twenty when he and I were together. However, I was raised in the camp, so I never learned any of the things most boys and girls learn early on about relationships. Physically, I may have been grown, but emotionally, I don’t think so. I never had any real peers; I guess you could say, and I’ve been stuck somewhere… not a child, but not really a grown up either.”

  Michael nodded again, “Yeah, I can see how you might feel that way. There are lots of things everyone takes for granted; things you haven’t experienced yet. That doesn’t make you a child; it just means you have a different perspective. Besides, you act like y
ou’re the only person to have lost at love. I assure you, you’re not.”

  Tori smiled slightly at his playful grin, “I suppose you’re here to nurse a broken heart?”

  He chuckled lightly. Well shit. Look where we are now. If I tell her, this could be a disaster, and if I don’t, I look like an asshole. Running his fingers through his sandy brown curls, he knew he didn’t really have a choice, so he used a low tone to explain, “Well, I have only loved two girls in my life... The only two women I have ever been with.” He avoided looking at her, not wanting to appear that he was judging her.

  Shifting, he tried to look more comfortable than he felt, “The first was my high school sweetheart, and we were pretty hot for each other back in the day. When I went into the army, she said she would wait for me. But, a year later, I got a letter from her. Said she was having a baby with some other guy. She had moved on after I left, but never bothered to tell me about it.” He had been devastated, his face covered in the pain he didn’t have the words to convey.

  “The second time happened while I was stationed overseas, and it ended when I came home to the States. She refused to come with me, saying that if I loved her, I would stay with her in Germany. I wasn’t going to do that, so I broke it off clean and never looked back.”

  It didn’t sound very clean to Tori as she noticed the hurt in his eyes. She stared at him as he talked about them, feeling sad that they both had endured such agony in the name of love. “So that’s it, then? If you want to avoid getting hurt, you have to stay away from people?” She smiled to herself, realizing that had been her plan all along.

  “Not at all,” he countered quickly, meeting her gaze. “Love is worth it, no matter the outcome. I mean, when it ends, it’s gonna hurt, whether you had thirty days or thirty years. But the joy of that time… it’s completely unbeatable.”

  “Oh, my God, you’re a romantic!” she laughed out loud at him, in awe that he could sound so tender; she had known few men whom she would ever give such a label, and fought the urge to make fun at him for his weakness.

  Michael nodded his agreement. “I guess in a way I am. But I rather consider myself a realist. This world isn’t perfect; we aren’t perfect. Life… will never be perfect. Remember that. The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead, Ba…” he cut the words off, almost using the forbidden nickname.

  Tori smiled at his slip, knowing he didn’t mean anything by it. Feeling like they had exhausted the subject, she sat and stared at him in awkward silence. So, he’s not a womanizer. He deserves a real lady. She held his gaze, a little sad that she would never qualify for his short list of true loves. All for the better, as his days in this house are numbered.

  Michael returned her glare; yeah, this was a topic we should have avoided, at least for now. The quiet palpable for several minutes afterwards, each of them became lost in thought.

  Eventually, the couple cleaned up from their dinner. It was getting late in the year, and Michael wanted to light the furnace so it would come on when it got too cold inside the small structure. “We’re gonna need some beds soon,” he commented absently as she stood watching over his shoulder. “Make sure we stay warm at night.”

  Tori got an odd look on her face at his statement, and he felt like they had had enough awkward conversations for one day. Cupping his hand over his mouth in an exaggerated manner, “You know what? I think we need to get some sleep.” The furnace set, he replaced the cover, and headed into the living area to roll out his mat and flop down on it.

  Tori stayed in the laundry room for several minutes before she finally joined him on the floor, lying on her mat. He could not help but wonder what she had been thinking, even if he felt too terrified to ask. Things were moving fast for him, and he didn’t want to spook her if he could avoid it. However, she seemed to be coming around, and he liked the idea of making his next move, now that he was getting an idea of what it might be.

  The following morning, Michael got up early and slipped over to the café. Finding Trish, he asked her a simple question, “Where’s the closest jewelry store?”

  Then he sat down at the counter to listen to her talk for five minutes before she finally got to the part he needed, “About twenty miles from here.”

  Standing, he walked around the small dining area, asking if anyone was headed over that day or any time soon so he could catch a ride. Watching him with a giggle, she finally called him back to her, “Why don’ you jus’ take my car? You can drive can’t you?”

  He stared at her in disbelief, “You’d really let me borrow your car?”

  “Sure, hun,” she gave him a huge grin, “But really you two kids need t’ get a car o’ your own if you’re gonna be livin’ way out here in the middle o’ nowhere like this.”

  Michael wasted no time in disagreeing with her, and then asked for her keys and where he could find it. Holding up the ring of shiny metal, “Out back, hun. Buick Skylark.”

  “Trish, you’re a doll! If Tori comes looking for me, tell her I had to run an errand and I’ll be back soon.” Obviously excited about his mission, he jogged out the glass door and made his way around to the alley.

  But Tori wasn’t going to go looking for him. She had heard him leave the house and still felt weary over their conversation the night before. He’s growing too eager to be close to me. What the hell was I thinking, telling him about Eli and Enrique? She hadn’t told him everything, but she had told him enough. She got up and went right to work, trying to do something productive for her house that would eat away at her nervous energy, her thoughts in turmoil.

  Deep down, she had a new fear growing inside her. She had begun to like having him there, and becoming too comfortable with their friendship; she cringed at the word. This’s exactly what I wanted to avoid. Having people close to me is dangerous. Soon, she would have to decide what she was going to do about it, and either accept his being there, or run him the hell off once and for all.

  Small Surprise

  Michael didn’t waste any time getting over to the next town, and it didn’t take him long to find the jewelry store Trish had described. Gazing up and down the old buildings that lined the street, he felt comforted by the simple style of the smaller community and the depth of its personality; so different than the impersonal shopping malls and centers of big cities.

  They were unlocking the doors when he arrived, and he could not have felt better going in. He walked around peering down into the glass covered cases, thinking he should have been nervous; he wasn’t. As if for the first time in his life, he knew exactly what he needed. It’s not time yet, but I’m gonna be ready when it comes, he smiled as he moved.

  Finding the large expanse of engagement rings, he slowed down to take his time. There were so many, but mostly too big, gaudy even. Tori isn’t like this. She’s simple, quiet, plain. Seeing the polished wedding bands, his heart began to thump loudly in his chest. The clerk who had been hovering close by became eager to help.

  “I need two of these in white gold. One that fits me, and one that fits,” he paused, not sure what to call her, “A girl.”

  The salesman looked down his nose, “And what size is your girl?”

  Michael felt stuck, because he had no idea.

  Thinking for a moment, he came up with a plan. “Let me pay for the rings. I’ll find a sneaky way to get her size and call you with it. We live in another town, so I’ll have to pick it up later anyways. And I want it engraved.” Michael grinned, overjoyed with his idea.

  Sliding his digit into the finger sizer to measure it, they finished the order. Leaving the store, he hummed to himself, and Tori’s song sprang into his head. She had called herself Nobody’s Angel, but she was wrong. She had become his angel, even if he didn’t have the courage to tell her yet. He had thought of her as devious, but he could play that game as well.

  Reaching the car, Michael noticed a small music store across the street, not unlike the one she had worked at in LA. Looking both ways before he crossed, his pa
lms were sweaty as he leapt up onto the sidewalk on the other side.

  Peering in through the glass, he could see the row of guitars along the back wall, as well as the expanse of other instruments littering the small space. He had never intended to spend so much of the money they had pulled out of Henry’s vault; the blood money. But he could not help rationalizing it, as this was for her. He hated to admit he had reached the point he would do just about anything for his dark haired beauty.

  Tugging to open the glass door, a bell rang, and an older man with long hair came out. Michael chuckled to himself at the similarities between him and Terry. A stab of guilt panged his heart, knowing Tori had left, and everyone who cared about her had no idea how well she was doing. Well, everyone else who cares.

  Not knowing anything about guitars, he understood this would be more difficult than the ring. He began to talk to the old man, who explained about the basic parts, such as the bridges, strings and pickups, and Michael did his best to listen. He had worked for the band for over four years, but never bothered to learn anything about the instruments that they played.

  Eventually, he decided to pick a really nice looking one and get a good amp. “Can we bring it back if she doesn’t like it?” The shop owner agreed that as long as they brought it back within a reasonable amount of time and undamaged, he would exchange it.

  Michael chose a black and white model; colors that seemed to suit her. He also got what the salesman called a decent amp and a case to go with the guitar, along with wires to hook it all up. Loading the items in the trunk of the car, he thought he was all set, when he noticed the flower shop next to the jewelry store.

  Shaking his head slightly, he didn’t bother to suppress his grin, might as well go for broke, right? Inside, he purchased an arrangement of pink roses, and the lady gave him a box to put the vase down in so it wouldn’t fall over while he drove and cause any of the delicate stems to be broken.