A Catered Christmas Cookie Exchange (A Mystery With Recipes)

by Crawford, Isis

  “I’m not betting,” Libby said as she watched her sister dialing the number.

  “It’s been disconnected,” Bernie announced.

  “Now there’s a surprise,” Libby said as they reached the van. “What now?” she said as she got in.

  “Good question,” Bernie replied. She sighed. She didn’t want to face Amber.

  “What are we going to tell Amber?” Libby said, echoing her sister’s thoughts.

  Bernie sighed. “I wish I knew.” Then she had an idea. “This woman’s last name is Hall, right?”

  “So?” Libby said.

  “Maybe she and Alma Hall are related.”

  “Bernie, do you know how many Halls there are around here?”

  “A lot, Libby. But do you have a better idea?”

  Libby admitted that she didn’t.

  “I mean,” Bernie continued, “maybe she knows who this woman is.”

  “I guess it’s worth a try,” Libby said doubtfully.

  “It’s better than calling all the Halls in the phone book,” Bernie commented as she drove off to Alma’s house. “Which we can’t even do anymore since most people don’t have home phones,” she added.

  Chapter 32

  Bernie and Libby pulled up to Alma’s house twenty minutes later, parked, and knocked on her door.

  “We’re just about to eat,” Alma said when she answered.

  “I just have a quick question for you,” Bernie said.

  Alma glared at her. “Haven’t you done enough damage already?”

  “Damage?” Bernie asked.

  “Yes, damage. Going about highlighting all these issues that people have forgotten about.”

  “I’m sorry,” Libby said. She didn’t want to stand here and debate the issue. “Do you know a Roberta T. Hall by any chance?”

  “No,” Alma said. “I don’t.”

  “Are you sure?” Bernie asked.

  Alma snorted. “Of course, I’m sure.”

  “Maybe she’s a second or third cousin?” Libby asked. “A distant relative?”

  “The only relative I have is my nephew.”

  “Is he here?” Bernie asked.

  “Yes, he is,” Alma answered. “As a matter of fact, he lives over the garage.”

  Bernie was just about to ask Alma if she could speak to him when she heard a door slam. The noise sounded as if it had come from the back of the house.

  Alma spun around. “Robert,” she cried. “Did you just go out? Dinner’s going to be on the table in a second.”

  Bernie and Libby looked at each other. The same idea occurred to both of them. Robert. Roberta. This was too much of a coincidence, and like their father, neither of them believed in coincidences.

  “Your nephew must have heard us talking,” Bernie said. “Guess he doesn’t want to meet us.”

  “I certainly can’t fault him for that,” Alma told them stiffly.

  “What’s your nephew’s middle name?” Libby asked Alma.

  “Terry,” Alma replied. “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “Terry Hall,” Bernie said. “He went to Longely Central, didn’t he?”

  “For a while. And then he moved down to Charlotte with my sister,” Alma said. “Why?”

  Bernie held up her hand. “Bear with me for a second. Does he have a twin sister by any chance?”

  “No,” Alma told her.

  “Are you sure?” Libby asked.

  “Of course, I’m sure,” Alma told them.

  Bernie looked at Libby. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked.

  “I certainly am,” her sister replied. She turned to Alma. “We need to speak to your nephew.”

  Alma looked totally bewildered. “What are you talking about?” Alma said to Libby. “I was just about to put dinner on the table.”

  “That might have to wait,” Bernie said to her. Then she turned to Libby. “I bet he’s heading toward the garage,” she said.

  “I think so too.” She and Bernie turned and sprinted toward it.

  They arrived just as the garage door was going up. From where they were standing they could see that the vehicle lights were on and the engine was running. God, I hope he doesn’t run over me, Bernie thought as she ran around the car and yanked the driver’s side door open.

  The man who was sitting behind the driver’s wheel bore a remarkable resemblance to Penelope’s assistant, Terri.

  Except for the sex and the fact that his head was shaved, that is.

  “Get out of the car,” Bernie ordered.

  He hesitated. Bernie could see from the action of his hand that he was about to shift into reverse. So could Libby.

  “Don’t do it,” she cautioned. “You’ll just make things worse.”

  Alma’s nephew laughed harshly. “How can things be worse?”

  “Believe me, they can be. We know you didn’t mean to cause Millie’s death.”

  “I didn’t,” Alma’s nephew said.

  “That’s why you came back, isn’t it?” Bernie said, handing him a way out.

  He nodded. “I didn’t mean for things to come out the way they did. I really didn’t. But at least I called the police. That should count for something.”

  “It will,” Bernie said encouragingly.

  “Penelope says I shouldn’t have done that. She says I was a fool.”

  Alma came up behind them. “What’s going on here?” she asked after she’d paused to catch her breath. “I don’t understand.”

  “Perhaps Terry will explain,” Libby said. “That’s Terry with a y instead of an i, correct?”

  “What do you mean, ‘Terry’? His name is Robert. Terry is his middle name. I already told you that,” Alma said. Her voice had begun to quaver.

  “I go by Terri with an i, Auntie,” Terri said gently.

  “But that’s a girl’s name,” Alma objected.

  “I know,” Terri replied. He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wanted to tell you before, but I didn’t know how, so I’m saying it now.”

  Alma clutched at her cardigan. “What are you saying now?”

  Terri closed his eyes. “I’m a transvestite,” he said, the words coming out in a rush.

  “Oh, dear,” Alma said before she fainted dead away.

  Chapter 33

  “I don’t get it,” Amber said.

  It was the afternoon after the Baking for Life contest had taped, and she, Bernie, Bree Nottingham, Libby, and Sean were sitting in the apartment above the shop, nibbling on Millie’s Majestic Meltaways.

  “These really are good,” Sean said as he helped himself to another one. “Millie would have been proud of you,” he told Amber.

  Amber brightened. “You think so?”

  “Definitely,” Libby said. “Using one hundred percent virgin coconut oil for the shortening is brilliant.”

  “They were the best cookies in the contest,” Bernie said.

  “You won fair and square.”

  “But Rose is contesting the results. She says that she should have won, and that this whole thing was rigged,” Amber cried.

  “Well, in a sense it was,” Sean said as he added a little more cream to his coffee. “But it doesn’t matter because your cookies were still the best.”

  “I don’t understand what you mean,” Amber told him. “I don’t understand anything,” she added plaintively.

  “What’s there not to get?” Bernie said. “The whole thing is perfectly straightforward. Not.”

  Libby put her hands on the small of her back and pushed. She’d been rolling out pie dough for the last four hours, and her lower back ached.

  “From what’s come out, the whole thing was Penelope’s idea,” Libby said. “Like she told us. She wanted to increase ratings, and she figured this would be the ticket.”

  “But why pick my aunt?” Amber asked.

  “Ah,” Bernie said. “That’s where things begin to get tricky. Evidently, Terri told her boss the story about Alma trying
to get Millie to stop driving, and that gave Penelope the idea.”

  “No good deed goes unpunished,” Sean murmured.

  “Exactly,” Bernie said.

  Amber wrinkled her nose. “It gave her the idea for the deer target? She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would know about that sort of thing.”

  “Ordinarily you would be right,” Libby said. “But she’d just finished shooting a program about bow hunters, and the production company had a couple of extra ones lying around. So Penelope told her idea to Terri and he, being the ambitious, favor-currying person that he is, figured out where to put it. After all, before he got a job with the production company, he lived here.”

  “At 5 Weatherford Lane,” Bernie interjected, taking up the narrative. “Terri was the detail man. He knew from his aunt that Millie got easily rattled. Maybe she’d withdraw from the competition and his aunt would win. From his point of view, it was a win-win situation all the way around. He’d get props from Penelope, maybe even a promotion, his aunt would have a better chance at winning the contest, and Millie would get paid back a little of what she deserved.”

  “Only things didn’t work out that way,” Sean observed.

  “No, they didn’t,” Bernie said. “Terri called Millie earlier and told her her cookies didn’t have a chance of winning—he was just letting her know on the QT, as it were. Naturally, that got Millie really upset. Then Penelope called and said she was just making sure that Millie was leaving because she didn’t want her to be late. Which infuriated Millie. And then Terri went out and set up the deer target and pulled off to the side of the road and waited.

  “He heard the crash,” Libby continued as Bernie paused to eat a small piece of the lemon bar that Alma had baked. “According to him, he waited and he waited and when he didn’t hear anything, he went to check on Millie. She was passed out.”

  “So he took the cookies,” Amber said.

  “And hid the deer target in the woods,” Bernie added.

  “Why didn’t he take it home with him?” Amber asked.

  “It was quicker for him to drag it into the woods than to take it apart and load it in his trunk.”

  “Then he called 911?” Amber asked.

  Libby nodded. “And waited for the police to come. He told me he didn’t want anything like this to happen, and I believe him,” Libby said to Amber. “The fact that he stuck around and waited for the cops to come proves it. He said he just wanted to make sure that Millie was all right.”

  “It really is a pity, and so unnecessary too,” Bree said, breaking her silence. She took a sip of her coffee and delicately replaced the cup on its saucer.

  “I’m not sure I’d use that word,” Libby said.

  “Unnecessary in the sense that Stanley told Penelope this was the last season of this show unless the ratings picked up,” Bree explained. “She could have come up with a different strategy. This one was just nuts.”

  “To say the least,” Sean said dryly.

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” Bernie asked Bree.

  “Tell you what?” Bree inquired.

  “What was going on,” Libby replied.

  “But I did,” Bree protested. “At least I hinted.”

  Libby gave her a puzzled glance. “If you did, I didn’t hear it.”

  “Well,” Bree explained, “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure. I surmised what happened from a conversation with Stanley. But like I said, I did throw you a hint.”

  “Which was what?” Bernie demanded.

  Bree sat up straighter. “There’s no reason to take that tone with me. I was trying to help.”

  Bernie apologized. “Sorry,” she said. “Go on.”

  “I did try and tell you,” Bree insisted. “I mentioned the word soul, and alma is the word for soul in Spanish. I was trying to point you in the right direction.”

  Bernie shook her head. She didn’t think she would have gotten that one in a thousand years. Maybe two thousand.

  “So what’s going to happen to everyone?” Amber asked, interrupting Bernie’s thoughts.

  “My guess,” Sean said, “is that Penelope will be tried on reckless endangerment charges, and Terri will be allowed to plead to a lesser charge since he gave Penelope up. He’ll probably end up with probation.”

  Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Amber said, “What’s going to happen to Terri?”

  “My dad just told you,” Libby said

  “With his aunt,” Amber explained. “About the whole . . . cross-dressing thing.”

  “Well, she bailed him out,” Sean said, “so she obviously got over her shock.”

  “But you told me she fainted when he told her that he was a transvestite,” Amber said.

  “That’s true,” Bernie said. “But evidently Alma’s gotten over that.”

  “Why do you say that?” Amber asked Bernie.

  “Because she told me last night that she was taking Terri down to New York on a shopping trip. Evidently he likes my style, so she wanted to know where I buy my stuff. After all,” Bernie continued, “he is her only nephew. I guess,” Bernie said, looking at Bree, who was decked out in a black-and-white tweed Chanel suit, “clothes really do make the man. Or, in this case, the woman.”

  Amber laughed. “I’ve always thought so.” She pointed to Millie’s recipe book. It had been lying on the doorstep of the shop when Libby had opened that morning. “I’m just really glad I got this back.” She turned to Sean. “Who do you think returned it?”

  “Don’t know,” Sean said. “I suppose it could be any of the Christmas Cookie Exchange Club ladies. Does it matter? Because if it does I . . .”

  Amber interrupted. “No. No. It’s fine. Having the recipe book back is all I care about. Not that all of Millie’s recipes are that great, but they’re hers and that’s what counts. It’s a sentimental thing.”

  “Amen to that,” Sean said as he ate another Meltaway.

  Recipes The following recipes are fun to both make and eat.

  Christmas Mice

  This recipe is from Betsy Scheu, who told me she used to make these with her goddaughter at Christmas. When you look at the recipe you’ll see why kids would love these at any time of the year.

  1 jar maraschino cherries with stems

  1 package Hershey’s chocolate kisses

  1 package slivered almonds

  Same number of chocolate kisses as cherries

  1 small tube white cake-decorating icing

  1 small tube red cake-decorating icing

  Unwrap the kisses and set them aside. Remove the cherries from their juice, rinse, and set them aside.

  Melt chocolate in a double boiler or in a glass bowl over a pan of hot water; when melted, take off heat. Dip 4 to 6 cherries in chocolate until they are completely coated except for their stems. Set them on wax paper with the stems positioned horizontally.

  Attach a chocolate kiss to the side of the cherry that’s opposite the “tail.” (The chocolate kiss is the head, the cherry is the body, and the stem is the tail.) Place two slivered almond “ears” between the kiss and the cherry. Continue to dip cherries (body) and attach kisses (heads) and almonds (ears) until you’ve used all the cherries.

  Place two small dots of white icing on the kisses where the mouse’s eyes would be. Place a small dot of red icing on the end of the chocolate kiss for the nose, and add a red dot on top of each eyeball. Put the mice aside to let the chocolate harden, or place them in the refrigerator if time is short.

  Cookie-Cutter Ornaments

  This recipe and the one for Almond Crescents, below, come from Sheryl Madlin. This one is another fun project to do with a child around holiday time.

  1 cup cornstarch

  2 cups baking soda

  1½ cups water

  Put the ingredients in a pot, stir until smooth, cover the pot, and cook until thick, so that the mixture looks like dry mashed potatoes. Take the pot off the heat, roll the dough out onto a surface, and cover
with a cloth until cool. Use cookie cutters to stamp out shapes. Bake at 250 degrees until hard. Decorate.

  Almond Crescents

  These are your classic Christmas cookie.

  1½ cups soft butter

  ½ cup sugar

  ½ cup ground almonds

  1 cup flour

  ½ tsp salt

  1 tsp vanilla or almond extract

  Confectioners’ sugar

  Cream butter. Slowly add sugar, beating well until light and fluffy. Add nuts, flour, salt, and extract until dough forms. Break off pieces of dough and roll into crescent shapes. Bake at 300 degrees for 10 minutes. Take out of the oven and dredge in confectioners’ sugar.

  Christmas Fruit Drops

  The following recipes are from Carmel Ruffo, an excellent and prolific baker. Like my grandmother, she cooks by eye, taste, and smell. But luckily for us, unlike my grandmother, she also writes things down.

  1 cup shortening

  2 cups brown sugar

  2 eggs

  cup buttermilk

  cups flour

  1 tsp baking soda

  1 tsp salt

  1 cups broken pecans

  2 cups candied cherries, halved

  2 cups dates, cut into very small pieces

  Pecan halves

  Mix shortening, sugar, and eggs. Stir in buttermilk. Blend together all dry ingredients. Add to wet ones. Stir in pecans, cherries, and dates. Chill dough for at least an hour.

  Heat oven to 400 degrees. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls of dough 2 inches apart on a lightly greased baking sheet. Place a pecan half on top of each cookie. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. Makes 8 dozen cookies.

  Carm’s Chocolate Christmas Cookies

  8 cups flour

  2 cups sugar

  ½ cup cocoa

  1½ cup shortening

  2 tsp baking powder