The Tome of Bill (Book 6): Half A Prayer

by Gualtieri, Rick

  “Or for Alex to subtly compel one of his guards to shoot the Shining One, knowing how her power would react,” Gan added.

  “Exactly.”

  “But doesn’t that weaken his position...or at least, the leadership of the vampires?” Sheila asked.

  “Yes and no. Losing two ancient vamps is probably not going to be great for morale. On the flip side, getting rid of two conspirators is great for him personally. The fucker’s so full of himself he probably thinks he can win the war alone.”

  “It would make sense to remove both,” Gan added. “Should someone slay you, Dr. Death, my vengeance upon them would be never-ending.”

  She had a point, in her disturbingly single-minded way. It was painfully obvious those two had had a thing for each other.

  “If Alex managed to off one, but not the other, he would be potentially looking at a vengeful lover to deal with. A pissed off, grief-stricken vamp would probably have no fucks left to give with regards to screwing over their tormentor as badly as possible. With both gone, though, he’s pretty much free to do as he pleases. You saw the rest of them. Nobody there was willing to raise so much as a peep against Alexander. Even if they did, he has the perfect stooge to point a finger at and blame.”

  Sheila raised her eyebrow at that.

  “In a manner of speaking, of course.”

  I glanced back at the blast door. I really hadn’t known Yehoshua from a hole in the wall, but he’d been slightly less of a dick to me than some others. I could respect that. I found myself hoping his was a good death, because I shuddered to think of the alternative if he was brought to the Jahabich’s lair and their glowing pool of goop.

  Oh well, he was beyond our help now, but others weren’t, and I for one had no intention of letting them down. “We need to find our friends, and then we need to figure out a way to get the fuck out of here.”

  As far as plans went, it wasn’t much, but it was all we had to go on at that moment.

  * * *

  A small part of me was convinced I was going insane. With Gan’s power rapidly draining away, I was easily the weakest of our trio. Thus, leading us back into the fray was probably one of the stupider tactics I could have adopted. Of course, I kept those little facts to myself.

  I still could taste Gan’s creepy little preteen tongue...ugh! Who the fuck knew what she’d try to do if she thought I needed another power-up.

  Unfortunately, it was difficult for me to think of blood at that moment without also thinking of that human I’d drained.

  I glanced back at Sheila, wondering if I was worthy of her anymore - a difficult proposition considering I wasn’t sure I’d been worthy of her even before being turned into a bloodthirsty creature of the night.

  “What is it?”

  Oh crap. I’d been staring. Shit! I opened my mouth to make up some excuse or other - maybe rock monsters coming down the halls behind us. Instead, I surprised myself and said, “I’ve done some things lately that I’m not proud of.”

  “Huh?”

  “I...I’m not what I hope to be. I keep trying to be a good person, but inside there’s this monster...”

  “You really want to do this now?”

  “Well...”

  She smiled and stepped up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder - one that wasn’t currently burning with holy fire, thankfully. “We’ve all done some questionable things.”

  “But...”

  “Myself included. I’m no saint, trust me. Besides, remember what you said when you first found me with the Templar?”

  “That I was there to rescue you?”

  “No. You told me that this world is what we have and it isn’t a very nice place to be. That it was bloody and dangerous and only going to get worse.”

  Oh yeah, that. I’d just been blathering, not realizing anyone had been listening.

  “I didn’t want to believe you at first, but I’ve seen a lot more since then, and I think you’re right.”

  “I am?”

  “Yes. We’re going to have to do bloody and dangerous things if we’re going to have any hope of surviving, much less making things better.”

  “I want to make things better.” I left off “between us” but hoped it was implied.

  “Me too.” Her grin widened. “But for now, you need to grow a set.” She clapped me on the shoulder and let loose with a laugh as she strode in front of me.

  I couldn’t help but smile after her...not even staring at her ass as she walked - much, anyway.

  “I echo her sentiment,” Gan said. “Also, when you finally do grow a set, I would very much like to see them.”

  * * *

  “Are you certain I cannot kill them?”

  “For the last time, Gan, they’re my friends. They’re off limits.”

  “Very well. Their lives shall be my betrothal gift to you.”

  I caught Sheila’s eye and mouthed “Kill me” to her, but sadly, no such luck.

  It had quickly become obvious that my intentions to rescue my friends weren’t worth shit in the maze of tunnels we attempted to navigate. We tried to avoid fighting whenever we could hear it up ahead but still wound up running into some of the creatures.

  Thankfully, that was one area where Alex hadn’t been full of shit. Fighting them was easier in a boxed-in area...at least it would be until our luck ran out and we ran into a large force of them - which I was sure we’d eventually do.

  Much to my equal parts delight and chagrin, though, Gan was able to offer assistance right when I was about ready to give up. Her nose had proven freaky in its ability to allow her to track me down. She wasn’t as intimately familiar with my friends, but had been around them enough to have a general idea of their scent. Even better - sorta - she apparently saved a special mental file for her enemies, and thus locked onto Christy’s smell fairly quickly.

  Now I just had to hope those two didn’t decide to gut each other on sight.

  It was hard to tell how things were going for our side - which wasn’t really my side, but was as close as I was going to get in this prison. However, we passed many dead and dismembered Jahabich along the way - some in their natural states, others in whatever other form they’d chosen. It gave me hope that perhaps we were driving them back. Although after all was said and done, who knew what our fate held?

  At last, Gan pointed to a reinforced door. “Her scent leads there. Beyond it, I cannot tell.”

  “That’s as good as we’re going to get, I suppose.”

  The door had an airlock crank on it. I grabbed the handle and gave it a try. It turned, which made sense. If this was indeed the prison cell where they’d been kept, there would have been no reason to lock it - nobody should’ve been aware they’d teleported back to it.

  “Stand back,” I warned, mainly addressing Gan. “If they’re in there, they’re with an angry, hormonal witch. Best not to excite them.”

  “If the mage attacks us, I will be forced to respond with deadly force.”

  “Hence why I want you to stand back. Let’s not give her a reason.” Duh!

  I turned the handle and began to pull the door open. Just as the crack of an opening appeared, I shouted, “Don’t shoot, it’s m...”

  Something akin to a runaway train hit the other side with tremendous force. Sadly, the hinges of the door were on the outside, giving it a full range of motion. It flew open and took me with it, slamming into the concrete wall next to it with enough power to ensure I would have an indentation of the crank in my chest for all of eternity.

  “Sorry,” came a cry from inside.

  “S'okay,” I gurgled, spitting up a generous amount of blood from my shattered insides.

  Sheila and Gan grabbed the door and pried it off of me - stuck as I was like a bug on a windshield. I gave a thumbs-up once they were done and promptly passed the fuck out.

  * * *

  “Do not touch him, witch. His healing will suffice.”

  “She’s not trying to hurt him, you little cree
p.”

  “I promise you, Gansetseg, this is only a little jolt to wake him up.”

  ZAP!

  “Holy shit!” I sprang up to a sitting position, as if a hornet’s nest had just been shoved up my ass. Had I still a beating heart, I’m sure it would have popped out of my chest.

  “Are you okay?”

  I blinked, the light from the fluorescents of the facility a bit too bright for my tastes, and looked around. My trio had been augmented into a...um...sextant or something - whatever the fuck it was called. Gan had been right on the money with her nose.

  She and Sheila stood to one side of me, but I got the impression Sheila was there in case trouble broke out. On the other side stood Christy and my roommates. Tom and Ed looked down at me as Christy and Gan busied themselves by glaring daggers at each other.

  “Ah good, you are awake,” Gan said, as if my being smashed to shit by a ton of door was an everyday occurrence. “I was just informing the witch of my displeasure at learning the whore had lied about her survival.”

  “Oh, believe me, the feeling is mutual,” Christy shot back. “Next time you take a hundred-story swan dive, try a little harder to land on your head.”

  “Such heights are child’s play for one such as me. Although if you would like to experience the sensation personally, it would be my pleasure to show...”

  “Okay, enough,” I croaked, my body still knitting itself back together. “We’re on the same side here.”

  “I am not on the same side as this...”

  “Listen up, Gan. If you want to hang with me, then you’re on the same side. If not, you’re free to catch the next plane back to the Gobi Desert.”

  “Very well, beloved. I will tolerate her continued existence on your behalf. What of her human paramour?”

  “Him too.”

  “Thanks,” Tom said, offering me a hand.

  “Don’t mention it.” I got back to my feet, wincing. It felt like all my internal organs were shifting around. Inclining my head toward the door, I asked Christy, “Same trick you used at your apartment?”

  She smiled, obviously pleased at seeing her handiwork acknowledged. “A variation of it. I figured it would be more effective with this door.”

  “Trust me, it was.”

  “Wait, when did you...”

  “Oh, Sally and me tried to break in last year around the time when you and Tom first started dating.” Quickly glancing at Sheila, I added, “Don’t ask.”

  Leaving them with appropriate looks of confusion on their faces, I stretched - feeling the last of the injuries healing - and addressed the group. “Glad to see that everyone is okay. It’s still not safe, though.” Considering where we were, I quickly added, “Even less safe than usual. We gave those fucking things a bloody nose, but they’re still swarming the halls.”

  “You had to make a deal about not escaping, didn’t you?” Christy asked with a sigh.

  “Sorry. It was a heat of the moment type thing,” Sheila replied sheepishly.

  “It’s not her fault,” I said. “Alex had us by the short hairs. Still does...at least me, although I think he’s broken the spirit of the truce, if not the letter.”

  I checked the halls in either direction then, seeing nothing but concrete walls staring back at us, quickly explained what happened back in the main courtroom - adding my own personal editorial touch to things. Fuck it, we weren’t getting a fair trial during the proceedings. There was no way I was letting Alex off the hook without a little character assassination for his troubles.

  “So he used you guys to ice two fellow Dracs just because they pissed him off?” Tom asked.

  “More complicated than that, but in a nutshell.”

  “I guess I can see why James was acting all squirrelly back there,” Ed commented.

  “Me too. I’d been imagining being on the Draculas as one big party at the top of the food chain, but I’m thinking now it’s just another level of being someone else’s stooge.”

  “That will change when I am in charge, Dr. Death,” Gan unhelpfully added.

  I opted to ignore her little megalomaniacal proclamation. “James isn’t our problem right now. Sally is. I want the rest of you to get the fuck out of here. Christy, teleport everyone somewhere safe. I need to find her, though.”

  “I will stay by your side, beloved.”

  Of course. What a surprise.

  “I’m pretty sure you weren’t on the invite list to begin with,” Christy countered.

  “Knock it off, you two,” Ed said. “Fuck that, Bill. You know we’re not leaving you behind. It’s your word against his about what happened, and I’m pretty sure Alex would have a field day fucking you over on that one.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I want you guys to get to safety.”

  “Where exactly is it safe out there?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe find another nuclear bunker...one not overrun with vampires and rock monsters. Also, Ed, you’re not one to talk. Those fucking things are after you again.”

  “Oh great. What the fuck did I ever do to them?”

  “I don’t know. Everyone is irresistible to someone. You just got unlucky in your selection of soul mates.”

  “I’ll stay too,” Sheila said.

  “No, you won’t.”

  “I’m not your damsel in distress, Bill.”

  “Believe me, I know that.” I held up my hands in a placating manner. “But even you have to admit this is probably the worst place in the world for you right now. Besides...”

  “Besides what?”

  “Well...”

  “I believe what my love is trying to tell you,” Gan said, “is he thought you dead once and it drove him mad with grief. Should it happen again, it would surely break him like the lovesick fool he is.”

  Oh, fuck me. “Not helping, Gan.”

  “However,” she continued, “if I am reading him correctly, and I always am, I would say he has also recently developed feelings for his whore.”

  “What?!”

  “Really?” Ed raised an eyebrow.

  “No!”

  “You cannot deny it, beloved. You are an open parchment to me. I must question your choice in paramours, however. The whore does not strike me as a particularly savory partner. You can do much better.”

  “Let me guess...you?”

  “Of course.”

  Gah! “Christy, remember what I said about not blasting a certain munchkin in the room?”

  “Yes?”

  “Rapidly considering a change of mind on that one.”

  “Can we focus here?” Sheila asked, her aura flaring up for a moment. “We can discuss all of...this at another time, preferably not here and not in front of an audience.”

  Maybe it was me, but I could have sworn I caught the ghost of a blush on her face standing out against the white glow.

  “Let’s lay out what needs to be done. We need to find Sally, and we need to get out of here. There’s strength in numbers, but according to Bill, these monsters are after you,” she pointed a finger toward Ed, “for whatever reason.”

  Tom beamed at that. “Christy, any chance you can glamour us all up?”

  A frown creased her face. “One or two people is easy, but I’m a little winded. I could maybe change our look, but if these monsters can sniff Ed out, that might be a problem.”

  “Just change him, then.”

  I let out a sigh. “So you want us to walk around with one member of our group missing, but a whole new guy with us, and hope they don’t figure that out?”

  “How smart could they be? They have rocks for heads.”

  “They’re not the only ones,” Ed muttered.

  “The way I see it, we have a couple of choices,” I said, trying to get us back on track. “We could all leave now. That saves our asses for the moment, but fucks Sally. I’m not willing to do that.”

  “The First Coven would be after you shortly regardless,” Gan replied. “They already want the Shining One dead, and t
hey do not take lightly to broken truces.”

  “Point taken. Some of you could bamf out of here. I can take the heat for that, but it still won’t stop them from hunting down Sheila when this is over.”

  “You assume they’ll leave the rest of us alone,” Christy pointed out. “Not sure I trust that to happen.”

  Ed stepped forward. “Not happening anyway, bro. We’re not gonna let you take the fall.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Besides, who knows when those fucking rock things will pop up again, looking for me. It pays to keep all of my super-powered friends in one piece, if you get my drift.”

  “That’s all I am, a glorified bodyguard, eh?”

  “More or less,” he replied with a grin. Asshole.

  “How about this?” I said at last. “I don’t think all of us wandering the halls is a great idea. Too big of a chance of something happening. If they see Ed, we could be swarmed. They haven’t found this room yet, and there’s no reason to think they will before this is over.”

  “So you’re splitting us up again?”

  “More or less, despite all horror movie logic. It should keep you safe while not violating the truce. If things get hairy, step outside the door and teleport out of here.”

  “What if we can’t get out the door?”

  “You’ll be able to because Sheila is going to stay here with you.”

  Old Boyfriends Die Hard

  “The hell I will!”

  Needless to say, Sheila was none too pleased at my statement. A few unkind words were said about me being a sexist ass and her not needing a knight in shining armor, blah blah blah. What she couldn’t deny, though, was that Christy was very pregnant. It was perhaps a low blow for me to point that out, but fuck that shit. Where chivalry fails, good old-fashioned guilt can work wonders.

  Christy was powerful, but she was a sawed-off shotgun - nasty for a few blasts, but with limited ammo. If enough of any hostile force came after them, neither Tom nor Ed would be particularly useful if she clicked on empty. Ed’s blood could pack a doozy of a punch against a vampire, but he had to spill it for it to be effective - not the most sustainable defensive strategy.