A Matter of Honor

by Nina Coombs Pykare

  She watched in silence as the aeronaut mounted the car. “Oh!” cried Cecilie suddenly. “I must get closer.” And before Aggie could stop her she had scrambled out of the carriage and was worming her way through the crowd.

  “Cecilie! Stop!” Aggie hurried to follow, but the crowd was densely packed and passage was very difficult. She had never before been alone on foot in such a crowd, but her worry over Cecilie kept most of her own feelings in abeyance. She pushed and shoved, trying to get closer to the balloon. She must get to Cecilie.

  She had almost reached the edge of the space that was cordoned off by ropes when an exclamation went up from the crowd of onlookers. Aggie shoved her way to the front just in time to see the balloon rising. The aeronaut stood gaily waving and beside him, her bonnet askew and Dillydums jumping up and down on her shoulder, stood Cecilie!

  “Cecilie! No! You must not!” cried Aggie, hardly aware that she spoke.

  A kindly-looking man next to her chuckled. “Ain’t no yelling gonna bring that thing down now. No sirree. Mr. Sadler, he’s going to Dover.”

  “Dover!” Aggie felt the ground begin to sink beneath her. “He can’t!” She turned frantically back toward the carriage. She must find Winters. They had to do something. She began blindly pushing her way through the crowd.

  “Miss! Miss!” Aggie finally realized that it was Winters who was impeding her progress. She tried to calm herself.

  “It’s Cecilie,” she said. “She’s gone with the aeronaut.”

  “Yes, miss. I seen.” Winter’s lined face was almost as pale as hers.

  “Oh,” cried Aggie, and the word was a wail. “What shall we do?”

  “My guess is we’d better get back to the Earl,” he said after a moment’s pause, and it was clear that the idea frightened him almost as much as it did her.

  She nodded dumbly. “I suppose we’ll have to.”

  As by a common thought their heads turned and their eyes moved to the sky. The balloon was now a small white speck to the south of them. “Well,” said Winters, in an obvious attempt to cheer her, “he’s got the right wind. That’s Dover way.”

  Aggie nodded. As the people around them dispersed, she just stood there, too upset to know what she was doing.

  “Miss,” said Winters, “the quicker we finds his lordship, the quicker he can go after her.”

  Aggie allowed herself to be led back to the carriage and helped inside. As Winters guided the horses into the stream of conveyances leaving the park, she fought to keep back the tears. The Earl was going to be furious - and rightly so, she supposed -though she could not see how she could have avoided any of it. How could anyone be expected to know that Cecilie would do such a foolish thing? Her shoulders shook then with her efforts to hold back the sobs. Cecilie, up in that balloon, in a thin muslin gown. She had read that it got very cold up there. But even worse was what would happen when the balloon came down! Balloons could loose their gas and fall. She shuddered. Or when they were almost down, they could be suddenly seized by the wind and dragged through trees and against buildings. She must stop thinking like this, she told herself. It would do no one any good. She tried to force her mind to other scenes, to keep from seeing Cecilie’s lively young body all bruised and bloodied.

  They reached the house on Grosvenor Square and Aggie hurried up to the door. There was no time to think of her own feelings. She must get help for Cecilie. “The Earl?” she asked Bates. “Is he in?”

  “He just got in, miss. He’s in the library.”

  Bates seemed about to tell her something more, but she was already gone, hurrying down the hall as fast as her trembling legs would take her. She did not stop to knock on the door, but pushed hurriedly through. “Denby, it’s-”

  She stopped suddenly, frozen by what she saw. The Earl stood by his desk, and near him, in fact bare inches away, stood Lady Alicia. Her dress of coral sarcenet showed every voluptuous curve. For some strange reason Aggie felt a new strength come into her legs as the lady’s cold green eyes swept over her disdainfully. Lady Alicia could have Denby later; right now she needed him. “I’m sorry to intrude, milord, but I must speak to you. Urgently.”

  Lady Alicia sniffed delicately. “Surely this

  can wai -”

  “I must speak to you now,” repeated Aggie. “Immediately, milord.”

  His eyes moved over her sharply once and then he turned to the woman who stood so close to him. “I’m sure you will excuse me, Lady Alicia. It shouldn’t take me long. Miss Trimble.” And putting a hand under Aggie’s arm, he led her out into the hall and softly closed the door. “Now, what is it that causes you to come bursting in on me like this?”

  Now that she was facing him, Aggie was almost unable to go on, but she knew she must. “C-Cecilie has gone up in a b-balloon,” she stammered.

  For a long moment he stared at her. Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “She has what?”

  Aggie didn’t mind the pain of his grasp. It helped to clear her head. “She jumped out of the carriage,” she explained. “And I followed her. Winters, too. But the crowd was too great. We couldn’t catch her. And when I got to the balloon it was already going up. And Cecilie was in it.”

  She watched the anger gather in his eyes like thunder-clouds. “The little idiot. Where was it headed?”

  “They said Dover.” She did not seem able to move and in spite of the bite of his fingers in the soft flesh of her arms, she dreaded the moment he would let go of her. She did not know if she could stand alone.

  Denby seemed to be glaring down at her, but she could tell from his eyes that he did not see her, that he was thinking. He dropped his hands suddenly and turned to shout. “Bates!”

  Aggie leaned trembling against the wall.

  “Have my rig readied. The bays, I think. Someone to drive it. And the stallion. Plenty of blankets. And tell Winters to come along.”

  “Yes, milord.”

  “I’ll just get my cloak,” said Aggie wearily.

  The Earl turned on her, his eyes blazing. “You’ll do no such thing. You’ll stay right here till I fetch her back.”

  “But-”

  “I haven’t time to argue,” he said harshly. “You’re ready to collapse now. The last thing I need is two irresponsible women on my hands.”

  She was too exhausted even to answer this; the only thought in her mind was the hope that she would not disgrace herself by sinking to the floor while he still stood there.

  His eyes seemed to hold a sudden tenderness. “Don’t worry about her, Aggie. Providence sometimes protects such fools. She’s probably enjoying herself.” The sound of a carriage could be heard pulling up in front. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Give Lady Alicia my regrets. Tell her I was called away suddenly. Nothing more. There’s no need for all of London to know.” His eyes probed hers for one long moment, and then he was gone and she stood there shaking.

  It took her several minutes to restore her features to some composure. She removed her bonnet and gloves and gave them to Bates; then, absentmindedly patting down her hair, she reentered the library.

  Lady Alicia swung around. “Well, Den -”

  “The Earl was called away on a matter of business,” Aggie said smoothly, refusing to be dismayed by the look of pure hatred that came flashing from Lady Alicia’s green eyes. “He asked me to give you his regrets and beg your forgiveness.”

  “Of course.” Lady Alicia’s eyes were veiled now as she let them slowly travel over the young woman who stood before her. Aggie was almost at the edge of her limits, but she did not waver. It was quite obvious that Lady Alicia saw the Earl as her exclusive property and disliked having anyone close to her territory.

  Though she had seemed to accept Aggie’s explanation, the lady made no move to leave. Aggie felt her small remaining store of strength fading. “If you’ll excuse me,” she began. “I have things to do.”

  “I’m sure,” said Lady Alicia, “that your duties are not so onerous that you cannot
spare me a few moments of your time.”

  Aggie forced herself to remain rigidly upright. She longed to say something vicious and nasty to Lady Alicia, but good manners - and common sense - forbade it. “I do not know what matters you might wish to speak to me about,” she said quietly.

  “Really?” Lady Alicia’s voice was soft, but dangerously so. “I can think of at least one.”

  It was Aggie’s turn to say, “Really?”

  She saw Lady Alicia’s eyebrows shoot up at such a reply and her ladyship’s pale complexion turned somewhat rosier. “Arrogance will get you nowhere,” said the lady.

  “I was not aware of being arrogant,” Aggie replied, keeping her voice even.

  Lady Alicia tossed her glistening hair. “I should think that a woman in your delicate position would be more careful about whom she offended.”

  Suddenly Aggie was tired of this cat and mouse game. “Lady Alicia,” she said crisply, “if you have something to say to me, kindly spit it out. I have other things to do.”

  The lady’s green eyes sparked dangerously. “I doubt that the Earl would care to have you insult his guests.”

  But this threat had little effect on Aggie. The way she felt at the moment she did not care if the Earl dismissed her. “What is it you wish to say?” she repeated.

  “The Earl is a very handsome man.” Her ladyship smiled rather maliciously. “I suppose it is only natural that a woman like you should set out lures for him.” She tossed her head haughtily. “Just be aware that it will do you no good. The Earl is not about to marry a penniless companion.”

  Aggie felt new waves of strength pouring into her. She did not have to bear such outrage quietly. She looked directly into Lady Alicia’s cold green eyes. “I never supposed that the Earl intends to marry -anyone,” she replied calmly.

  Lady Alicia flushed at the implication of the last word, and, casting Aggie one last look of hatred, flounced angrily from the room.

  Aggie forced herself to stand there until she heard the carriage pull away, and then, no longer having anything it was necessary to do, she sank slowly to the floor in a swoon of sweet forgetfulness.

  It was Bates who found her there and had her carried to her room by a strong young footman. She wakened in her bed some moments later to see Millie’s anxious face bending over her. “You give us all a turn, miss, you did.” She was busily undoing Aggie’s gown.

  “No, no. I must get up,” Aggie protested weakly.

  Millie shook her head. “Now, miss. Bates says it’s best you rest awhile. His lordship ain’t even got to Dover yet. It’ll be a long while afore we get any word.”

  Aggie had to concede the truth of this and she fell back among the pillows and surrendered to Millie’s ministrations.

  “Now you just close your eyes and rest, miss,” soothed Millie. “Bates, he says his lordship took along a couple grooms. One of them’ll get back to us soon as he can. Don’t you go worrying now. Miss Cecilie, she’s game as a pebble, she is. No little balloon flight ain’t gonna hurt her.” And with a last solicitous look, Millie turned down the lamp and went out, closing the door softly behind her.

  In the darkness Aggie lay trembling. She could still feel his piercing gaze, the grip of his hands on her bruised flesh. Of course he blamed her. What else was there for him to do? And truthfully, how could he have supposed that Cecilie would behave in such a foolhardy fashion? How could anyone have supposed?

  Aggie tossed restlessly in the bed. Where was Cecilie now? And where was Denby? For a moment she had a mental image of him, riding at top speed along the Dover Road, the carriage and mounted grooms trailing behind. She tried to hold her thoughts on him. He would find an abashed Cecilie and read her a terrific scold. Then the two of them would come on home. It had to be that way, she told herself. It simply had to. She could not let herself think of Cecilie fallen from the balloon car, of Cecilie lying still and bleeding somewhere between London and Dover. And then her control broke and she fell to weeping in great choking sobs until finally exhaustion and sleep overtook her.

  Chapter Eleven

  The early morning sun streaming through the window woke Aggie from a sleep of pure exhaustion. For one moment she wondered why she felt so tired. Then memory came flooding back. She was on her feet instantly, reaching for the bellpull. How could she have slept? How could she have possibly slept when Cecilie was in danger? She dragged on her dressing gown and was hunting for her slippers when the door opened and Millie appeared.

  “Yes, miss?”

  “Is there news?” asked Aggie, trying to keep her voice calm.

  Millie nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yes, miss. Everything’s all right. One of the grooms come riding in at first light. The balloon come down in a hay field afore dark. Miss Cecilie and the monkey was both fine. They’ll be home with his lordship later in the day - toward evening maybe.”

  “You’re sure she’s all right?” Aggie was finding it hard to believe such good news.

  Millie nodded briskly. “Oh, yes, miss. I know this groom.” Here Millie flushed a little. “He says Miss Cecilie looked just as perky as ever and that monkey, too. He says they both looked like they enjoyed it.”

  Aggie shook her head wearily. “What will she think of next?”

  A little smile tugged at Millie’s lips. “I wouldn’t worry none about Miss Cecilie for a while. She’s got to ride all the way from Dover while his lordship gives her a royal scold. That oughta make her think twice.”

  Aggie nodded. There was little sense in telling the maid that Cecilie’s proclivity for seeking out mischief could not be squashed, even by the Earl’s fury. She knew his lordship’s servants stood in awe of him, as she herself did, but Cecilie would not be abashed by a scold, no matter how vehemently delivered. The child did not seem to realize the seriousness of her situation.

  Aggie put a trembling hand to her throbbing head. How would she ever manage to get out of this bumble broth? And what would the Earl have to say when he returned? He seemed determined to believe that Cecilie’s wrongdoing was always her companion’s fault and she dreaded having him glare at her in that ferocious way and shout. She shut her eyes wearily.

  “Now, miss.” Millie tugged at her sleeve. “You still ain’t looking too well. Whyn’t you lie abed awhile longer?”

  Aggie shook her head. “No, no. I can’t. Maybe I’ll walk in the garden a little.”

  Millie nodded. “That sounds nice, miss. The roses is all abloom. So pretty. I’ll just help you get into your clothes, then you can have a little breakfast afore your walk.”

  Aggie shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Now, miss.” Millie looked pained. “You’ll only be making yourself sick like that. You got to eat for strength.”

  Aggie nodded feebly. She knew the maid was right, but still she resisted the idea. How was she to eat when her stomach was in such turmoil, when her mind was filled with the most vivid pictures of the Earl in anger? Still, she allowed herself to be gowned and combed and, almost like a little child, led to the breakfast room. She managed to get a little of the food down, enough to satisfy Bates and the watching Millie, both of whom were treating her with the utmost solicitude.

  Then she rose and made her way out into the courtyard. Her head was a whirl of mad thoughts and she knew she must settle it. She could not go on like this; the strain was too much. Perhaps she should ask Denby to release her from her position as Cecilie’s companion, tell him to find someone else to act as watchdog. She needed to get away from him. Sharp-tongued women like Lady Alicia were already bandying her name about in malicious whispers. If she stayed much longer in such a situation, she would have no good name left. And without that her chances of securing another position were very small - or of opening her school.

  Slowly she paced among the roses, their fragrant sweetness unnoticed by her senses. What was she to do? Life here was becoming intolerable. If she was not waiting for Cecilie to do some mad thing, she was fearful of what his lordsh
ip would say to her, or, even worse, how he would look at her. She was still unable to drive the idea from her mind that she had seen hurt in his eyes - hurt and pain. Yet how could that be? She had had nothing to do with his abrupt departure five years ago. She was the one who had been abandoned. She was the one in pain.

  The day wore slowly on. As the sun rose higher Aggie left the garden for the coolness of the library. Her head still throbbed painfully, but she moved restlessly around the room. Bates had drawn the heavy velvet drapes and the room was dim. Aggie tried to settle in a chair and rest peacefully, to eat a little of the lunch they brought her; but every fresh sound caused her to start up and she wanted to sob with utter frustration. Why couldn’t they just get back and get it over with?

  It was the waiting, she knew, that kept her nerves so taut - the waiting for his angry looks and shouts. And, from deep within her came the disquieting awareness that her mind was all too full of the memory that it was after his anger that he had laid hands on her. It was after his anger that he had pulled her so swiftly into his arms and claimed her lips with an ardor that entirely vanquished all her resolutions to no longer allow him a place of regard in her heart. She knew what her head said: that such a man was unworthy of her love. But when he held her in his arms, when his lips devoured hers, her head was helpless. Then her body took control, her traitorous body that insisted on belonging to him! Aggie dropped her aching head into her hands. Dear God, why had she been so unfortunate as to develop a partiality for such a man?

  Finally, sitting there in the dimness, her eyelids fluttered shut and she fell into a light doze. Sometime later sounds in the hall roused her and for a moment she could not get her bearings. Then she realized where she was and leaped hastily to her feet. Perhaps it was them!

  Hurriedly she made her way to the door. Peering out, she saw that Cecilie and his lordship stood in the front hall. “Cecilie!” Aggie hurried toward her. “Are you all right? You’re sure?”