Touched by Hell

by Emma Shade

  Today was my day off and I was going to enjoy my breakfast, then a donut or two, and maybe some cookies. Hell, maybe an entire carton of ice cream for dinner. I deserved it, dammit. Hunting demons for a living sucked colossal, hairy balls.

  I began to question life’s choices as I heaped a dollop of eggs on top of a cream donut, but instead shrugged my shoulders and took a bite.

  “God, you gross me out,” Raven muttered, abruptly seated in the chair next to mine.

  After jumping from surprise, as a good demon hunter should, I rolled my eyes at her. “Your little parlor trick is annoying. You could knock like a normal person, you know. Shouldn’t you be working? Or sleeping? Or whatever you do on your downtime. I know you’re not here to take me out shopping or whatever.”

  She took a deep breath and then said, “Welllll, about that. Your day off is going to suck.”

  “No, no. I’m not going to work tonight. It’s my break this year. I’m going to sit here, watch sappy movies on TV, and then I’m going to cry into my ice cream.”

  “You don’t cry,” Raven stated with a raised eyebrow. She had me there. “You won’t be gone long. The big ol’ boss man wants to have a word with you.”

  The blood drained from my face as I dropped my half-eaten donut and scrambled egg concoction on the plate. “What? Why?”

  Raven shrugged. “Nothing serious. At least I don’t think so. Well, I don’t know what he wants. I was just sent here to collect you.”

  I stood up and huffed. “Hell to the no. Tell that bastard if he wants to see me, he can come to Earth like a normal person. I’m not going to Hell to have a chat with him. I’ll never get that sulfuric stench out of my clothes.”

  “I thought you’d say that.” Raven sighed. “You know Ol’ Luke won’t like being denied.”

  “Luke.” I snorted at her nickname for Lucifer. “Can I call him Luke?”

  “Not if you like your appendages attached to your body.”

  “Fine.” I stood and threw the plate in the sink, woefully staring at my breakfast. “Tell him I’ll meet with him here, on Earth.”

  Raven shook her head. “He won’t like it, Mara. You know he’s going to be pissed, and when the guy is pissed, there’s fire and brimstone. Pun intended.”

  “I don’t care what he thinks or if he’s upset. This is my day off, and I’m not going to come running because the King of the underworld wants to see me.” Wiping a hand over my face in frustration, I barked, “He can kiss my ass!”

  Raven pecked me on the cheek. “That’s why I love you. I’ll let him know. Just be prepared for the consequences.”

  The air quivered as she departed to tell my boss that I had told him to kiss my ass. Shit on a pancake. I tended to be grouchy and unruly in the morning, more so than I was on a normal basis. And she’d ruined my breakfast with mentioning I had to see my boss again. To make matters worse, I may have pissed off the man who had the option of canceling my contract and dragging me straight to Hell.

  CHAPTER 7

  The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a

  Heaven of Hell, and a Hell of Heaven.

  While I waited for Raven, I stared up the steeple of the church near my favorite donut stop as misty rain fell. I wondered if I could pray for donuts, but I thought maybe that would be frowned upon.

  Instead, I went inside and placed my order like a normal human being. While I waited, I wondered if there was such a thing as a donut god, or maybe a coffee god. There could be. I doubted any of them would listen to me, anyway. I didn’t have a soul to barter with, or one with which to ask for forgiveness. Besides, I needed something delicious if my day was to suck later on.

  The baker loaded the white box with all kinds of goodies after I pointed at them through the glass case. Custard filled ones with chocolate icing, cinnamon rolls as big as my face, and regular yeast donuts.

  “Anything else?” he asked with a polite smile.

  I shook my head. After I paid for the donuts, I took the box and stepped outside into the rain. Not able to hold back, I opened the box and grabbed a custard donut. I took a big bite with a moan. Once that one was finished, I grabbed another and glanced up to make sure nobody was around, judging me gorging on donuts.

  A man in a dark outfit crossed the road, his head buried in a book. He didn’t see the bus coming his way. The road was slick and there was no way the bus would stop in time.

  Without thinking, I dropped my box of donuts and ran. The bus honked and the guy finally looked up with wide eyes. Tires squealed on the wet pavement. I dove to move the man out of the way. With just inches to spare, I shoved both of us off the street. I was sure the tire of the bus had touched my leg. We landed in a heap of legs and limbs, but we were unscathed besides a scrape or two.

  Unwrapping myself from the man, I checked him for any wounds. “Are you all right?”

  The gentleman appeared to be in his late forties, maybe mid-fifties, with hair the same color gray as the dreary clouds above us. His eyes crinkled as he smiled, and kind, brown eyes peered at me behind an average face. He nodded. “Thank you. You and the Lord saved me today.”

  I frowned and looked down at the book he still held in his right hand. A Bible. Then, I took in his dark suit and the white clerical collar. This man was a priest.

  I had saved a priest.

  Standing, I cleared my throat and shifted my feet. “Uh, I’m glad you’re okay.”

  He got to his feet and tilted his head as he watched me. “Would you like a blessing, my child?”

  I startled. “A blessing? No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  With a grin, he put a warm hand on my shoulder. “Do you think you’re unworthy of one? I think you are worthy. You saved my life.”

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out. How could I explain to a priest that his competitor owned my soul? That I worked for the enemy? My face paled the more I thought about it. I took a step back.

  He steeled his grip. “I must do this. Please.”

  With uncertainty, I nodded. A blessing or prayer wouldn’t help my predicament, but it was worth a shot. I hoped I wouldn’t burst into flames.

  I held still as the priest pulled out a container from his pocket. A cross decorated the frosted glass and he whispered something over it so low I couldn’t hear what was being said. He popped the cap off and dipped a finger into the container over the open neck.

  With a wet finger, he drew a cross on my forehead as he said, “St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.” He motioned with a hand on his forehead, his stomach, and then each shoulder.

  Stock still, I watched as the priest put away his holy water and tucked the Bible away in his suit jacket. “What blessing was that?”

  “Thank you for risking your life to save another.” He grinned, patting his Bible behind the fabric of his suit. “You’re welcome to join us for mass. We would love to have you.”

  “Thank you?” Okay, so my thanks came out more like a question. Maybe the priest knew all about me, and maybe he felt the evil vibrating along the surface of my entire being. He dipped his head in way of a farewell and walked into the church across the street from the donut shop.

  I remained frozen in amazement as I stared up the church he had entered. The sign read Our Lady of Angels Cathedral. The Gothic-style brick building filled up an entire block, its stained glass glimmering in the sun. I inspected a few windows in confusion, not because I didn’t believe in churches and Christianity, but because I didn’t understand what any of the symbolism meant.

  Maybe, just maybe, this blessing could help me in the end. After a minute of false hope, I snorted. No, I was on a straight track to Hell.

  After I collected what donuts I could from the dr
opped box, I waited as I ate a rescued yeast donut. However, Raven never showed at our scheduled time, so I assumed she had a death to deal with. It was, after all, her job. With a deep breath of courage, I slowly ambled to my destination to await my boss’s arrival.

  CHAPTER 8

  Working for my boss is hell.

  I chewed my thumbnail as I waited outside the coffee house where I sometimes met my boss, otherwise known as the Devil himself. This was the first time in over a year I’d had to deal with him in person.

  I was nervous, and if I was honest, I was scared shitless. I knew Raven would tell him word for word what I had said. I liked Earth. I liked my tiny one-bedroom apartment. I liked smelling like perfume and body wash instead of sulfur. If I thought God would help my tarnished soul, I’d pray. He was supposed to forgive all sins, right? I didn’t think he’d be able to save me, though. According to most Christians, he was merciful and...

  Crap on a cracker. A gorgeous, tall man headed straight for me. Dressed in dark, ripped jeans and a black Highway to Hell T-shirt, he drew the eye of every woman near him, and a few men, too. They ogled him as he passed, some more obvious than others.

  I wasn’t impressed. I knew what he was, where he came from. The man was the same demon from last night, the one behind the bar I had kneed in the crotch. He smirked when he saw me, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight. I resisted the urge to kick him in the nuts again.

  “How are your balls?” I asked when he was within a few feet from me.

  “Well, they could be better,” he purred. “They could be on your chin.”

  “You’ll never have those filthy demon balls near my body. Now or ever.” I poked my sharp fingernail against his chest. “What are you doing here, douchebag? If I wasn’t concerned about innocent bystanders, my sword would be slicing through your neck right now.”

  The dude laughed. Again. I yanked my finger back in disgust. “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh, just that you think you can kill me,” he said, still chuckling. “But that’s not why I’m here.”

  I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. “Then why are you here? I don’t have time for games, asshole, I have a meeting.”

  “Ah, yes. Your meeting. Let’s get to it.” He snatched my arm with his strong hand.

  My skin prickled painfully and the world faded around me. “Son of a bitch!”

  *****

  I gagged when I crashed on a hard, red brick floor. Oz may have a yellow brick road, but Hell had a red one coated with black speckles of blood. The stench of sulfur and the enormous heat of my surroundings filled my lungs. Think of it as walking outside in high humidity when it was a hundred and ten degrees. That, plus a horrible smell of rotten eggs. Not my idea of a good time.

  The walls to my right writhed and squirmed, ghoulish hands reaching for me with moaning eagerness. I assumed they were tortured souls, but with the stench and unbearable heat, they could be a figment of my imagination. Hell was like a horrible, ghastly haunted house, only with real demons and rotting corpses.

  Righting myself, I shoved my hands into my captor’s chest angrily. “Where the hell am I?”

  He grinned. “I think you know, and besides, you pretty much answered your own question.”

  “You lowlife, demon scum. I would kick your ass if I could breathe in this nasty-ass air.” I lifted my hand to punch him. “Stay the fu—”

  “Mara,” said a deep, commanding voice, the same voice from when I’d negotiated my contract to stay on Earth as a child.

  My fist fell to my side but stayed clenched. I turned on my heels to face the man, or beast, who had ruined my life. I didn’t care if he was a ruler of death and demons. I didn’t care if he was the opposite of good and Godliness. He had pulled me away from my carton of ice cream and lounging in pajamas all day, and that time was sacred.

  He sat on a throne made of skeletons yellowed from age and probably more blood than I could imagine. Granted, he didn’t look like the biblical version of Satan. He resembled an extremely tall Christopher Walken, but more evil and scarier with goat eyes and black, curled horns on his head

  My nostrils flared, no longer caring about anything but my pajamas. Of course, the reason for my mood might be that I was on the verge of PMS. “Why did you send one of your dogs to drag me down here to have a meeting? Couldn’t you have had a nice cup of mocha latte bullshit and met me with the rest of the humans?”

  The “dog” in question chuckled. I tossed a glare in his direction.

  Lucifer’s face went stony. His voice rumbled as he said, “Don’t speak to me in such a manner. I’m not human. I never was. It’s best you remember your place before I take it from your cold, dead fingers.”

  “But—”

  “I said do not speak!” he thundered, flames rising behind him and blasting heat across my face.

  When I rolled my eyes on habit, his eyes narrowed as he rose from his skeletal throne. The souls trapped in the walls wailed as they thrashed against their torturous confines. They practically skittered away from him as he moved in my direction.

  Dread rippled across my skin. He took souls for a living and tortured them for all eternity. Reveled in the anguish like a junkie for his next drug fix. I took a deep breath of stinky air and steeled myself for what was to come. I remained silent, no matter how hard it was to keep my big, freaking mouth shut.

  His seven-foot-tall frame walked around my body and then stopped directly in front of me. “Bend over.”

  I blinked in confusion as I looked up at him. “What?”

  “I’m supposed to kiss your ass, no?” His eyes turned a bright, flaming red like they were made of fire. “You seem to have a problem with authority, and it’s about time you learned your lesson about talking back and ignoring your superiors. Raven, while she has leniency due to her father, is trying to keep you out of trouble. I’m starting to believe that’s impossible.”

  Clearing my throat, I said, “But I’m doing an extraordinary job of slaughtering the lesser demons, which you had asked me to do.”

  His eyebrow rose. “Yes, you are, but you have avoided me for months. In addition, you seem to have come to the belief that all demons are vile, evil creatures. You are not to slaughter each one, or attempt to. I hired you to expel the ones that escape, not every single being you see fit.”

  “But, sir, it’s rare to see one on the surface that hasn’t escaped.”

  “Quiet!” he thundered and the tortured souls whimpered.

  I remained silent and still. Ol’ Luke paced back and forth in front of me, his finger tapping on his chin. He stopped directly in front of me with those creepy, goat-like eyes.

  “For some unknown reason, Raven and her father adore you. I cannot fathom why, but without them, I wouldn’t have anyone to bring me souls.” He tilted his head and sniffed the air before leaning forward to inspect my forehead.

  Oh no. The priest. I remained stock-still, hoping he hadn’t seen the holy water from the priest’s blessing. If he had, I was so fucked. His hot breath flittered over my face, his breath smelling of campfire smoke.

  He frowned but straightened as he clenched his fists. “On the other hand, your constant screw-ups and smart mouth is the bane of my existence. Besides, with your avoidance of me and the help of your reaper friends, we all know how this will end. We won’t even go into the good deed you think will save you from my wrath after your death. You’re mine, no matter how many times you volunteer at that wretched place. Which will stop immediately, by the way.”

  Fear flickered along my skin. Nobody knew I volunteered at the shelter, or so I had assumed. How wrong I had been. “I...” What? There was nothing I could say that would change his mind. I choked down the rage at his little spies. I wanted to slaughter them all.

  “It. Stops. Now. It would be a shame if the abusers and sexual deviants found the place, along with a few demons. Isn’t that right?”

  I swallowed. Hard. He’d hit me right in the feels with that warning.

>   The Devil smirked, knowing he had me where he wanted me. Then he tilted his head in a terrifying way as if he debated on inviting me to dinner or ripping my soul from my body. I was going with the latter. “You’re lucky Raven speaks so highly of you, and that Death also spoke on your behalf. Against my better judgment, I’m going to give you a second chance. You have two months to prove that you’re worth staying on Earth among the humans. Sixty days. If you can’t show me you’re a valuable employee, then you’ll be breakfast.” He pointed to the writhing wall and the souls screeched as they reached out for me again.

  I let out a shaky breath. “Thank you, sir. I won’t disappoint you.”

  “I’m not finished.” After a moment of eerie silence, he said, “Raven will still be allowed to be your guardian, or best friend, or whatever she is to you.” His mouth blossomed into a spine-chilling smile, his teeth all pointy and sharp. “However, Coren will now be in charge of you and will assist me with your unruly defiance. With whatever means necessary.”

  “Coren? Who’s that?” I asked, my heart pounding. I wasn’t sure if it was in fear or anger. Probably a mix of both.

  “Sixty days, Mara. Your time starts at midnight tonight.” He waved his hand to dismiss me and ripped one of the souls from the wall. The black mass screeched and clawed its hands along the floor as my boss dragged the poor thing from the room.

  The being was nothing but blackness, but it left nail marks against the red brick. I shuddered. This place was the stuff of nightmares.

  CHAPTER 9

  The only good demon is a dead one.

  I turned and ran into the chest of the guy who had dragged me to this wretched place. The annoying but gorgeous demon laughed at me. Then he grabbed my arm and transported me out of there while I cussed and spit ugly words at him.