In Hope's Shadow

by Janice Kay Johnson

  Arrogance.

  Seth appeared, shaking his head. Then he spotted the brown paper bag open on the bed and looked in to see the shoes. His eyebrows rose. At Ben’s request, he took a closer look at the desk, even pulling it out to check behind it, and slid Gavin’s laptop into a bag.

  Rod started forward a step. “Why are you taking that? He probably has school assignments on it.”

  “We’ll need to make a copy of the contents, Mr. Carter,” Seth said politely. “It’s not uncommon for teenagers to write what they’re thinking, if only for their own satisfaction. And, of course, we’ll need access to the social media sites he frequents.”

  “Oh, God,” Rod groaned.

  Finally, they thanked him. Ben explained that they would be releasing Gavin, and that it was his parents’ responsibility to ensure he didn’t take off.

  Ben let Seth go ahead to deal with the little creep, and paused himself on the front doorstep. Lynne seemed to have frozen in place. Ben would have felt more pity for her if he hadn’t seen Rowe’s battered body.

  At his cop-neutral best, he explained that they would also search Gavin’s school locker first thing in the morning, and would be in touch to let Rod and Lynne know whether anything of interest had been found.

  Jaws clenched, Rod nodded.

  “Thank you for your cooperation. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this experience.”

  As if they’d both just been in a car accident, they stared at him without much comprehension. Rod put an arm around his wife. She didn’t seem to have noticed.

  Ben stepped aside to let Gavin pass him and enter the house. The boy’s burning stare promised retribution.

  Evidence bags stowed in the trunk, he and Seth got in the unmarked unit and sat for a moment.

  “I owe Eve a profound apology,” Seth said into the silence. “That kid makes my skin crawl.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Ben had reached to start the engine when he felt a punch of relief. “He kept the shoes.”

  They grinned at each other like a couple of fools.

  * * *

  “WHAT? YOU GOT A search warrant? How?” Eve demanded.

  Midday, Ben had called to say he might not get free this evening, but ten minutes ago, he’d buzzed to ask her to let him in. When she opened the door to him, he had a jubilant grin on his face. His first words were, “I think we have him, Eve.”

  “Gavin?”

  “Who else?”

  He grabbed her and swung her in a circle. Laughing when he set her down, Eve sobered. “Are you sure?”

  Ben explained what they’d found—and what they hadn’t found. Although tomorrow was Saturday, the principal was meeting him at 6:00 a.m. to allow him to search the locker.

  “Can’t believe he’d have stashed bloody clothes there, though. And if he had, I’m betting he disposed of them when he heard I was right there at the school this week, still asking questions.”

  “Joel?”

  Ben shook his head. “We have to wait to be sure that’s human blood on the shoes, and, if so, that it’s Rowe’s blood.”

  Eve hugged herself. “How soon?”

  “Prelim? By Monday for sure. We’ll know what type it is. If that’s a match with Rowe’s, they’ll look at DNA. I think the blood type alone is enough for me to arrest Gavin. Given the witness statements I also have, I want him in custody.”

  She gave herself a little shake. She hated to imagine what Gavin was thinking, or what he was capable of doing when cornered.

  “Have you eaten?”

  “No, but you don’t have to feed me.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  She got as far as the kitchen before she came to a sudden stop. “Wait. You never said how you persuaded a judge to sign a warrant. I thought they were refusing.”

  Ben half sat on a stool. “Rod Carter.”

  What he told her made her sad. She’d already been disappointed in Rod, but this... Eve shook her head.

  “How could he keep something like that to himself?”

  Ben’s blue eyes never left her face. “I think he’d convinced himself that the fact Gavin pulled one of the ‘pranks’—and I use that word advisedly—didn’t mean he’d actually killed a man.”

  “But he was okay with thinking Joel had?” she said, still steamed.

  “He came through in the end.”

  Eve huffed a sigh. “Fine.”

  Ben chuckled. “You saw Joel today?”

  “Yes. He looks defeated. Do you think his scholarship offer will be withdrawn after this?”

  “Not if he’s released when the real culprit is arrested. Even if his first choice school releases him, someone else will want him.” He hesitated. “This experience is something else he’ll have to live with, though.”

  “Now he knows how it feels to be incarcerated like his father. And it’s so unfair!”

  He didn’t say, Shit happens. They both knew that well enough.

  “Maybe we’re celebrating too soon,” she said suddenly. “I mean, you don’t know for sure. What if the blood is from, I don’t know, the cat? Or it’s the wrong blood type?”

  “That’s one reason I don’t want any of this to get to Joel,” he admitted.

  She nodded, but said softly, “I just want to be waiting when they release him. To hug him and say, it was all a mistake. You know?”

  Ben could look so hard sometimes, unfeeling, and yet he’d turn around and let her see tenderness instead. The contrast was so striking, Eve wondered if she’d ever entirely understand him.

  The gaze that rested on her now held sympathy. Softness. “I do know,” he murmured.

  The timer dinged and she removed the garlic bread from the oven, putting it on a plate and giving it to him.

  He thanked her, then said, “Eve...do you have a washer and dryer in your unit?”

  “Actually, I do.” Warmth spread through her veins. “Now, why would you want to know that?”

  “It crossed my mind to invite myself to spend the night. Only then I remembered I’ve been wearing the same clothes for two straight days already.”

  Leaning back against the kitchen counter, she crossed her arms. “I do believe we could wash them, Detective. Of course, that would leave you without anything at all to wear.”

  Ben gave her a wicked grin. “Would the sight of me naked disturb you?”

  She had to laugh. “It might. In a good way, of course.”

  Two nights in a row, she thought. When Ben let down his guard, he didn’t hold back.

  Wow. Was she ready to consider living with him?

  If Eve had discovered anything about herself amidst all the turmoil since Hope returned, it was that she needed to feel secure. Which made her breathless and edgy at the idea of taking what would be a gigantic risk if he wasn’t being entirely truthful about how he felt about his ex.

  But there he sat: big, vital, sexy, smart, kind in unexpected ways, and she knew she was kidding herself. The answer was yes—except that she was still scared, too.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  FRIDAY MIDDAY, BEN had had to call Nicole and ask to either change weekends or see if he could pick Rachel up Saturday morning, shortening his weekend with her. “I’m involved in something at work,” he’d said briefly.

  On the rare occasions in the past when he’d had to ask for a change, she hadn’t been able to resist being snippy. He waited for her usual. But of course it’s different when you’re the one wanting to change our arrangement. Instead, all she said was that she had plans Saturday night and would prefer he went ahead with this weekend.

  When he arrived Saturday morning to pick up Rachel, she was bouncing with excitement. No surprise, she clutched her current favorite doll.

  “I’ll walk you out,
” Nicole said, pulling Rachel’s small pink suitcase. His mouth opened and then closed. She might be pissed to see that Eve was with him, but this had to happen sooner or later.

  Once they stepped outside, he released his daughter’s hand so she could dash to his SUV, where Eve was already hopping out to greet her.

  The two women took a long look at each other. Eve smiled and called, “Hi,” then turned to open the back door and help Rach climb in.

  Ben braced himself and glanced at Nic. She hadn’t moved, maybe hadn’t even blinked. The sadness on her face took his breath away.

  “Nicole?”

  She seemed to shake herself and then looked at him. Her smile had an odd twist. “You could have said.”

  “I’m sorry.” He groped for words. “I didn’t think meeting Eve would bother you.”

  “I didn’t realize she’d be with you.” Her eyes searched his with unexpected intensity. “It’s funny, too, because I’d been thinking—” She shook her head. “Don’t listen to me. You’d better get going. All Rachel can talk about is flowers.” She even smiled before she turned to go back into the apartment building.

  Just for a moment, he watched her go. The pang he felt might be pity. Even so, he had an impulse to go after her, find out what was wrong.

  I’d been thinking... What?

  What difference did it make? he asked himself impatiently. Eve and Rach were waiting.

  During the few long strides that took him to the SUV, he hoped Eve hadn’t thought anything of his brief conversation with Nicole, then frowned. Because they shared a daughter, he and Nicole were forever linked. That was something with which Eve had to deal.

  Traffic was a bitch after they crossed I-5 and headed west into the heart of the tulip country, but Rachel was happy to chatter and, eventually, play some kind of word game with Eve. He laughed too much to be impatient with tourists who braked in the middle of the road so they could lean out to take pictures of sweeps of scarlet and yellow and purple.

  RoozenGaarde was one of the big bulb farms and, Ben had been told, had a particularly spectacular display garden. He followed an attendant’s directions and parked in a huge field across from the garden. Getting out, he stepped into a mud-filled rut and grimaced. Despite gravel, intermittent rain and sunshine and a battering from multiple vehicles had left the field a mess. Could have been worse, he reflected; he hadn’t planned an alternate activity if it had rained today.

  It only being the second weekend in April, quite a few of the tulips weren’t in bloom yet. Enough were, though, along with a huge variety of daffodils, hyacinths in purples, pinks and whites, and some other, dainty flowers grown from bulbs he didn’t recognize. Eve had taken a catalog when they arrived, and each patch of flowers in the beds intersected by winding grass paths was labeled.

  “Now I really wish I had a garden,” she grumbled. “I suppose I could put a few bulbs in a pot on my minuscule balcony, but it doesn’t get much direct sun, so... Oh! Look at that double tulip! Isn’t that glorious?”

  Ben wandered, smiled and enjoyed Eve’s and Rachel’s enjoyment. Both had worn colors as bright as anything nature created, as if in anticipation. The flowers were pretty. His daughter was pretty. Eve was gorgeous. The hyacinths had an extraordinary, sweet fragrance that filled the air. He didn’t have any desire to know each hybrid of any of the flowers by name, but might like having a garden down the line. If Eve wanted one, he found himself thinking, imagining a house, a swing set in the backyard. And, yeah, he felt nothing but relaxed acceptance and even anticipation about where they were heading.

  He’d succumbed without much of a fight, he realized, in part because he hadn’t liked the bachelor lifestyle. He had no hankering to sample a different woman a week.

  Gaze resting on Eve, he smiled. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, in bed or out.

  Only the memory of the expression on Nicole’s face shadowed his mood.

  Eventually they strolled through the gift shop, and they chose two ceramic pots, each planted with a hyacinth bursting with buds. One for each of his ladies.

  Rachel stared at hers. “I bet my bedroom will smell really good when it’s blooming, huh?”

  “I know it will.” Eve tipped her head gently against his shoulder in thanks. “At this time of year, I usually buy one at the grocery store for my windowsill, but I’ll bet this one will be bigger and better.”

  At the last minute, he frowned. “Let’s pick out one for your mom,” he told Rachel. He’d call it a peace offering.

  “That’s a good idea,” Eve said. If she was bothered, he couldn’t tell. “I’ll get one for my mother, too.”

  If it were him, he’d just grab one, but as it was, he and his daughter had a long discussion about Nicole’s favorite colors with him aware of Eve listening. Rach waffled until he finally grabbed one and said, “Purple. Yours is pink, this way you’ll have one of each.”

  “Okay,” she said, looking satisfied.

  They headed back to the SUV, but after they’d carefully set their pots on the floor, he suggested a walk along the next field, filled with rows of daffodils in brilliant yellow bloom.

  Rachel grabbed his hand. “Yay! I’m not tired yet. At all!”

  Probably used for tractors or harvesting equipment as well as giving visitors opportunities for photos, a dirt track paralleled the field. Rachel raced ahead. Ben kept an eye on her, but also appreciated a few minutes to talk to Eve.

  He took her hand in his. “Having fun?”

  Her smile had an extra glow. Sunlight gleamed off her hair and showed gold flecks in her warm brown eyes. “Of course I am,” she declared. “Aren’t you?”

  “Yeah. This is a good day.” Ahead, Rachel had caught up with a family walking their dog and had apparently been given permission to pet what looked like a yellow lab. Seeing the flapping tail, Ben let go of any parental concern. “Hey, have you talked to your mom again?” he asked Eve.

  Eve had told him about their last conversation. Not a lot, but enough. Ben had been careful not to say what he thought, but was beginning to wonder if he should. He didn’t like taking the chance that he might hurt Eve, though. He’d done that once, and hated remembering the expression on her face.

  She didn’t answer right away, but her expression had dimmed. “No. I mean, it’s only been a couple of days.”

  He gave her hand what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

  “I just want her to, oh, acknowledge that I have grounds for feeling the way I do. Is that so unreasonable?”

  Ben hesitated. Here was his chance. She’d asked, right? “I have to admit,” he said, picking his words carefully and trying to keep his tone nonjudgmental, “I don’t completely understand what you’re going for. Do you need your mother to admit she invested so much of herself in grief, she shortchanged you? Or is it something else?”

  Eve quit walking. He turned his head to see she was staring at him, her lips parted as if she’d opened her mouth to say something that never popped out. Was she mad? He couldn’t tell.

  Then she moaned. “That’s what I’ve been asking for, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I told myself I needed her to understand, but that wasn’t it at all.” Her voice was so soft, she might have been talking to herself, not him. “I wanted Mom to grovel because she was so sorry she’d hurt me.” Her laugh lacked all humor. “And that’s ridiculous.” Her head turned suddenly until she spotted Rachel, giggling now as she hugged the dog.

  Ben discovered how much he liked the fact that she, too, was keeping an eye on his daughter.

  “Ridiculous?” he prodded after a minute.

  “Why would I need that from her? Oh, God. Why would I even ask for it? I was...so lucky to have them. My parents. And here I’ve been—what?—wanting to make sure they loved me the most? How chi
ldish is that?”

  Ben chuckled and bent his head to kiss her lightly. “Completely normal, I suspect.”

  “But I’m a grown-up!” she wailed.

  “In theory,” he agreed, tongue in cheek.

  Eve punched his belly, making him laugh. Then she gave a huff. “I’m an idiot.”

  “No, you’re not. You just needed to know you were really wanted.”

  Her eyes searched his for a moment. “Of course I was,” she murmured. The smile that took shape and slowly bloomed was more beautiful than any flower in the display garden.

  “And are,” he said, voice low and gritty.

  He saw only her. The flicker as her pupils dilated then shrank, the faint quiver of her lips, the sweet curves of her cheeks and forehead. Astonishment was supplanted by hope. Or was it belief? Only a distant awareness that Rachel would be rejoining them any minute kept him from snatching Eve into his arms and kissing her voraciously.

  She swallowed. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He had to clear his throat. “For?”

  Eve’s smile took on an impish quality. “Wanting me.”

  “Will you spend the night?”

  He saw resistance on her face even before her lips shaped the word “No. You know we shouldn’t until...”

  “Until what?”

  “I suppose...” Her forehead crinkled. “There’s a commitment Rachel can trust in.”

  He let out a hard breath. “I know you’re right. But, damn.”

  “Daddy!”

  Ben jumped. He hadn’t even seen his kid coming.

  “You’re not supposed to say that word,” she chided him.

  From somewhere, he found a laugh. “You’re right. Oh, darn. Is that better?”

  “Uh-huh. Did you see the dog, Daddy? He licked me.” Her smile became sly. “I wish I could get a dog. Mommy says we can’t, but you could keep my dog for me.”

  Ben heard Eve laughing. “Good try, kiddo,” he told his daughter. “But I work too many hours, and I don’t have a yard.”