Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series

by L. A. Johnson

  A fun one. One of the first spells Ray had learned in Oracle school. Vibrant Mass Hallucination was the term his school had used. It got lots of oohs and aahs and absolutely slayed at parties. With this spell you could have a life sized, 3d, organic looking image pop out of nowhere and interact with the crowd. For instance, you could have a unicorn, or a fire-breathing dragon pop up at a kid's birthday party. Both were popular, but the latter could get you into legal trouble if the kids weren't careful.

  Ray whistled. A Vibrant Mass Hallucination Fractal. He wished he had thought of it himself. He wouldn't have to lug around a computer or take the thing on a flash drive, all he had to do was say the words to the spell, and it would spring to life right in the middle of the prison. He was about to become a very popular Overlord candidate.

  He put on his best ceremonial robe. This Fractal stunt and the galaxy's impending chaos had to be connected somehow.

  "How do I look, Chippy?"

  Chipmunk gave him a thumbs up.

  "What do you say," he asked the troll, already knowing the answer, "are you ready for a little magic?"

  Chipmunk nodded enthusiastically, so he clapped his hands and disappeared.

  He reappeared, as expected, in the middle of the maximum security Arcturis Galactic Prison. A.G.P. The big time. Ray could barely even imagine Fleek being here. Fleek. The famous founder of the punk rock band Chemical Zombies. He of the rock and roll spaceship and the color changing Mohawk here? Ray looked around. He had arrived in the middle of a busy lunchroom.

  He heard a tray hit the floor. He was attracting stares and attention, being the only one in the room who was neither a guard nor a prisoner. And also, because he had appeared out of nowhere. He knew he was running out of time and hoped that Fleek was nearby.

  He heard a familiar voice behind him. "Ray? What are you doing here?"

  Ray wheeled. "Fleek! Are you okay?" His Mohawk was currently lime green, and he looked none the worse for the wear.

  "I'm doing okay," he said, holding out his shoulder and lifting his orange prison sleeve. "Look, I got a new tattoo. It's an alien girl. If you hold her in the light just right and pinch here like so, then you can make her-"

  "That's awesome, Fleek," Ray interrupted, "but I'm not here to see what your tattoo girl does in the- hey that really is cool, how did they do that here in the prison?"

  Fleek beamed. "Willie. He's a master tattoo artist. I could make you an appointment if you like."

  Angry shouts, the footsteps of guards, and the cocking of weapons reminded Ray why he was here. And that he was running out of time. "Anyway, Fleek, I have a present for you. It's the only thing I can do to help, for now. You're welcome."

  Ray was surrounded by guards now with at least half a dozen weapons aimed at his head. He raised his hands and thought about the spell. He was only going to get one shot at this. "Listen, fellas. No need to be alarmed, I was just passing through."

  "Turn around and put your hands behind your head," They shouted. "And don't try anything funny."

  "I wouldn't dream of it," he told the guards. Then he winked at Fleek. "Dreamolora Fractaliliosa."

  The new Fractal appeared in beautiful, three-dimensional color three feet off the ground in the middle of the cafeteria. It started small, the size of a coffee mug and then it grew to around four feet in diameter and rose in the sky as it grew so that it could be seen by everybody in the vicinity. Oohs and aahs filled the room. Even the guards turned to look at the weird holographic image hovering right in front of them.

  Ray clapped his hands again and disappeared.

  Fleek saw Ray disappear. Then he turned his full attention to the gorgeous Fractal in front of him. He had no idea that Fractals could appear in three-dimensional space, or that they could be summoned with magic spells, or that Ray could teleport. Apparently, there was a lot about the universe that he didn't know.

  Ignoring the pandemonium around him that included guards running around looking for Ray, Fleek let the Fractal take him. He was instantly absorbed into the feeling and emotion and color and sound that he was used to, only this time it was more intense. He felt himself move closer and closer to the actual core of the Fractal. Who knew that Fractals had cores?

  And then it happened. It was as if his consciousness, his actual being, got sucked into the Fractal. Like, taken out of the conscious world entirely, which had never happened before. Fleek loved the Fractals but never once had he ever felt like he left reality and disappeared into it. After that, it got even more complicated and he couldn't explain it at all. But he remembered everything. Even after he regained consciousness. Even after the Fractal disappeared, he remembered.

  In fact, as soon as the Fractal disappeared, he turned, ignoring the continuing bedlam of alarms, guards, shouting, fighting, and shooting. He went straight back to his cell, locked himself in, and waited for morning to come.

  The Fractals had told him everything. About everything in the universe. At least it felt like it. Some of it was good. A lot of it was decidedly bad. He replayed it all in his head over and over. One of the messages was very specific. It was that everything would change tomorrow morning. For him, for the prison, Arcturis, and specifically for Ari. Get some rest, the Fractal had told him, you're getting out of here in the morning. Right after breakfast.

  41

  Dawn broke in Arcturis Square with a pink sunrise outlined by jagged clouds on the horizon. Soda stared at it. It was pretty, and she wished that Drexyl was with her to enjoy it. That thought sent her from a peaceful mood into a ragey one.

  C'mon, Floyd. Hurry up and get here so I can kill you. She shivered slightly in the crisp morning air. The square was currently deserted except for a few early morning commuters rushing to one building or another. The whole place was eerily quiet. She bit her lip and curled a tentacle as she waited.

  "Dawn means sunrise, right?" Callie asked.

  "Usually, I guess," Soda replied.

  Callie had accompanied her to keep an eye on things, since her coffee shop was nearby.

  "I mean, who comes late to their own sunrise standoff after a kidnapping?" Soda asked. Then she heard a whistling noise. Huh. It had been quite a while since Soda had seen a sunrise, but she was pretty sure that the rising sun on the horizon didn't make whistling noises.

  "Get down!" Callie yelled, pulling her out of the way of the incoming missile. The blast missed them, but they were thrown ten feet to the side.

  Soda recovered much quicker than Callie. "Are you okay?"

  Callie nodded.

  Soda sprang back up instantly and studied the skies looking for more incoming weapons fire. "Thank you for that heads up," she said, "but I happen to be immortal, so what I need you to do from now on is to stay alive and out of the way. There's no need to go down nobly in the first rounds of a heavyweight match. Pace yourself. You never know, I might need you later."

  More whistling noises filled the air. Soda and Callie ducked into a nearby ally and let the explosions play out. Then they reemerged back into the Square.

  "Three missiles and hardly any damage? What's going on here?" Callie asked. She was right, too. Despite the attack, there was only minor damage to a few sidewalks.

  Soda frowned. The missile barrage was worrying, as was the fact that she and Callie were still alone in the square.

  "What is it, Soda?" Callie asked.

  Soda shook her head. "I don't know, but this is all wrong. Floyd is a total pain in the ass, but he's usually punctual. And missiles are not and have never been his style, that I know of."

  "What about the other Overlord candidates?" Callie asked.

  "Hmm..." Soda continued to scan the skies and listen. "Missiles. Not Ray, that's for sure. That only leaves-"

  Soda never got to finish her sentence. An earthquake tremor rippled through the square from east to west, throwing both Soda and Callie off their feet. Soda looked in the direction that the tremor had come from. Standing there was a giant robot.

  "Froggy
," Soda said, getting back up and finishing her sentence. "That leaves Froggy. But what in the hell is he even doing here?"

  The robot advanced, shaking the ground with each footstep.

  "Not now, Froggy." Soda screamed at the advancing robot. "I'm busy." The robot was a glistening silver with red eyes and black accents. It was quite striking in the morning light.

  "You don't look busy," said Froggy. Soda could tell by the sound of his voice that he was on the robot somewhere. She squinted up at it to try to find him.

  A new voice echoed into the square, from opposite Soda and the robot. It was an annoying, familiar voice. "Who's the greasy-haired transformer?"

  "It's about time, Floyd!" Soda said to the new voice. "That would be Froggy, your other competition. But he doesn't matter right now. What matters is that you have ten seconds to hand over Drexyl before I squish you like the bug that you are."

  The robot launched another round of missiles, causing both Soda and Floyd to scramble. Froggy laughed. "I'm pretty sure that I matter right now. I have a thirty-foot robot that says so.”

  Soda easily dodged the missiles and ran toward the robot. Then she closed her eyes and pointed her tentacles in unusual and provocative positions. A second later she materialized in the giant robot's hand face to face with a very startled Froggy.

  It was Soda's turn to be surprised that he was surprised. "You know that I teleport. I did it during our battle. It was literally last night, just a few hours ago. How many drugs are you on? It's going to be your downfall, you know." She grabbed him and tossed him off the robot's hand. Froggy screamed as he fell. Unfortunately, he landed softly in some nearby bushes that broke his fall.

  Soda stared down at him and shook her head. "And this robot's more like twenty-five feet, tops. Stop exaggerating!" She slithered down the robot back to the ground to avoid weakening herself by teleporting again. Froggy was still whimpering in the bushes when she crossed the courtyard toward Floyd, who flickered and then turned into Mantix.

  Even Soda swallowed hard when she saw the transformation. Their first battle had ended in a draw. "Mantix," she said. "We meet again. Aren't you worried about everybody seeing your true form in public?"

  "That ship sailed when you sent your Conan Wonder Woman yesterday to attack me at my workplace."

  "You have a therapy office. So what?"

  "She attacked me on the set of All My Wormholes, you dolt."

  "What the hell do you have to do with that stupid show?" Soda asked.

  "IT'S. MY. SHOW," He roared. "I'm the Executive Producer. I have my own parking spot. And even though my job is safe, I'm still going to kill you for outing me. It was simply uncalled for." His powerful front arms twitched in Soda's direction and his teeth chattered in anticipation.

  The noise of it sent a shock of unexpected fear through Soda. Sure, she was immortal, but being eaten by a giant insect wasn't on her to-do list. Before she could get another snarky comment in, though, Mantix charged.

  Soda had to make a split-second decision whether to teleport again or chance jumping out of the way. She jumped. Luckily, her instincts paid off as changing directions wasn't something that Mantix was particularly good at. He recovered quickly, though, and when she looked up he was facing her again.

  She decided that she couldn't keep dodging him forever. He charged again. She made a new decision. She teleported and materialized on top of him with her tentacles wrapped around his throat. The move that would have worked on almost any other being in this galaxy. But it didn’t work on the giant insect. She pulled and pulled with a strength that would have not only cut off the air supply to anybody else, it would have popped their head clean off. "What do I have to do to strangle you?" she asked, screaming in frustration.

  There was another round of incoming missile fire aimed at the two of them. Froggy was operating the robot by remote control from his position in the bushes.

  Rude, thought Soda, jumping into a battle uninvited and trying to take out two of your rivals at the same time. It was a good idea and she wished she would have thought of it herself, which she might have if she wasn't so distracted by Drexyl's kidnapping.

  Mantix moved to his right to avoid the direct incoming missiles. Soda got an idea. She wrapped a couple of tentacles around a nearby statue and held Mantix in place.

  She laughed. "I may not be able to strangle you because of your idiotic bug physiology, but let's see how you do with a direct hit from an incoming missile!"

  "You're insane!" Mantix said. "The missile will hit you too."

  The familiar whistling sound got louder. Mantix pulled harder to get away, but she held him firm. Soda had to admit that it felt strange looking right at an incoming missile and not moving. The missile itself was not a silver color, as was often pictured in movies, but was in fact green with orange polka dots. "Not that it matters, but why do I have to keep reminding you morons that I can teleport? Now, if you want to live, you have one more chance to tell me what you did with Drexyl."

  "What are you talking about?" Mantix asked. He made a final effort to jump to the side. It failed, and Soda held him in place.

  "Wrong answer," she said. Then she teleported a short distance away, letting go of the statue that she had been holding onto. She rematerialized a short distance away woozy and slightly disoriented. Worth it, though, she thought as she heard the explosion nearby. Her celebration was short lived as the missile heading straight for him missed. It landed several feet to his left and threw him to the ground partially singed, but it looked like he was going to be okay. Double drat.

  But Mantix's answer worried her. He wasn't stupid. And he sounded legitimately surprised. How could he forget kidnapping somebody a few hours ago and then challenging me to a weird, western duel at sundown? Something here wasn't adding up.

  She launched herself and landed on him despite her continued dizziness and disorientation. Mostly because he was such a large target. "Tell me where Drexyl is," she yelled, encircling him with her tentacles so that he could not get to his feet. The position looked uncomfortable for him as he laid there trying to tip himself back upright, but she refused to give him the room or the leverage to do so.

  "What are you talking about? Let me go, you miserable, insufferable cephalopod. I don't have your idiot boyfriend. Why would I? I don't want him, don't need him, and can kill you myself easy enough without kidnapping him. How would that even help me? Where would I put him? And trust me, there's no way I'd foot the bill for all his hair products. Believe me, you can have him. And why in the name of void space are we wrestling?"

  His answer surprised Soda so much that she let him get up. Once he did, there was a really awkward moment when he looked like he could have pounced on her but was hesitant. And she could have attacked or teleported, but she didn't. She simply held up her cellphone so that he could see it. "Look, he disappeared last night. I got this text, from you, saying how mad you were about Kirian and that you took Drexyl to ensure this stupid showdown at dawn. See? It came from you. Now stop playing dumb with me. Or tell me what's going on."

  "It says it's from me," Mantix said. "But it's not. What's the phone number associated with that text?"

  Soda glanced down. "The last four digits are 3939."

  "Not me. Doesn't match any of my phones," Mantix said.

  "Maybe you got a burner," Soda said accusingly.

  "Again, why would I bother with all of that? I didn't set any of this up. In fact, I'm only here because I got a mysterious secret message that you'd already be here fighting Froggy. Since you and Kirian already outed me as Mantix, I had nothing to lose. Now, if we're done with all of this, I'm going to eat you and be done with it."

  He rubbed his giant, insect arms at her in anticipation as he twitched, zeroing in on his prey. "Now, be a dear for me, Soda, and try to sprint away. It's so much more fun when my prey runs for their life. And screaming, that's also a great perk for me. In fact, it's fun for everybody." He pointed at a gathering crowd including repor
ters who were barely keeping a respectful distance away from the monster Preying Mantis, the giant robot, and the Neon Octopus Ex-Overlord. "Look, there's a crowd. Let's make it fun. Do it for the people, Soda."

  Soda cleared her throat because she had an excellent retort, but the sound of metallic movement again caught Soda's attention. She wriggled several feet to the side, just in case, to throw off Mantix's calculations and to buy herself some time.

  "Save it, Floyd." She pointed a tentacle at the horrible insect. Then she turned toward Froggy. "If you launch one more missile at me right now I swear I will go over there and wrap my tentacles around you and—" Soda stopped mid-sentence and thought about it. "Wait. If it wasn't me and it wasn't Floyd, then it had to be you. Techno-jerkoff. You set up this entire thing, didn't you?" she shouted.

  "Yeah, sure," Froggy replied. "I set up a brawl between me and you at dawn so that I could invite Mantix and get ignored by the two of you."

  Soda realized he had a point. "Well, who invited you to this party?"

  "I invited myself. I saw you in some surveillance footage saying you'd be here," Froggy answered.

  "Me too," Mantix said. "Somebody sent me the footage last night."

  Soda spun in a circle and turned from a beautiful purple color to an angry fuchsia. She couldn't help it; her patience was at an end. "I don't care who did this or why, but I had better see Drexyl, alive and well in the next ten seconds or both of your heads are gonna roll. Right here and right now. Ten, nine, eight-" Soda began a countdown, but then realized that even she wasn't interested in waiting any longer.