by Erin Trejo
“I’m not some property you can claim. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
She turns to storm away but that isn’t happening. Not today, not ever. I go after her catching her right as she reaches the door. Grabbing her around the waist, I jerk her back against me, my lips finger her ear. Sucking the lobe into my mouth, she moans lightly.
“When I say you belong to me that means you don’t walk away from me.” Lola shivers under my touch. I spin her around and push her back against the wall and devour her lips with mine. Her tongue is just as eager as mine is, snaking into my mouth and dancing with mine. I cup one hand around her throat feeling the vibrations of her moans as they slip into my mouth. Resting my forehead on hers, I break our kiss dizzy and breathless.
“You can’t own me,” she says so softly that I doubt she even believes the words coming out of her own mouth.
“I can and I do. I claimed you, Lola. That’s not somethin’ I ever planned on doin’ with anyone.”
“Then why do it? What’s that mean? Like, we have to get married?” She sounds like she’s going to panic but I just shake my head and smile. I like watching her when I make her nervous. She’s sexy as fuck.
“I did it because I want you. And as far as married? Not anytime soon, babe but one day maybe. Claimin’ you as mine is more than marriage. It means that you belong to me like I belong to you. We laugh, we laugh together. We cry, we cry together, and we love, we love together.” Her eyes fill with tears again and I lean in and kiss them away.
“Why me? I’m ruined.”
“No you’re not. You’re a little broken but together we can fix you. I can help fix you. Just let me,” I breathe.
“Are you sure this is what you want? You barely know me.”
I already know that part too but from what I do know, I like. I can’t say that I love her because I don’t, but I have a good feeling that is coming.
“If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have done it. You bring out a better side of me, one I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Besides, you ruined my goddamn dog for any other woman. Look at him,” I tell her with a laugh when she looks down and sees Diablo sitting at her feet.
“He does love me, doesn’t he?” She giggles and runs her fingers over the fur on his head. He sits right there like the goddamn king and lets her, too.
“Yeah, he does. Look, I’m gonna make things right for us, Lola. I’m gonna take care of you and I’m gonna kill that bastard who hurt you. I just need information.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, she pulls away. She curls her arms around herself and a shadow crosses her face.
“There’s something I need to tell you, Blade.”
I watch her and wait hoping to hell that there isn’t another lie lost in there somewhere. I don’t know how much more I can take.
“Hey, Blade! Doc’s here!”
Chapter 18
Lola
I feel like I’m going to throw up as he pushes on my stomach. The pain is enough to have me shooting him some looks.
“You said you were pregnant. Know about how far along?”
I shake my head as my heart drops. My chest feels heavy knowing that I no longer carry my child inside of me. Even if Ryan was the sperm donor, this was my child. I didn’t realize I felt this way until my baby was viciously taken from me. I watch as the doctor pulls out some kind of little machine from his bag along with a bottle.
“What the hell is that?” I ask, nearly leaping off the bed.
“It’ll detect the baby’s heartbeat,” he says as if there’s still one in there.
“I don’t think it will. I bled a lot after…”
“No need to rehash, sweetheart. I just want to take a listen if that’s alright with you. It would best to get an ultrasound, but for now let’s try this, okay?” I nod my head and lay back as he squirts the cold goo on my stomach. He moves the machine and turns it on placing the probe on my stomach. He moves it around as I watch his face for any signs. When I don’t hear anything but static, tears fill my eyes. Then his eyes meet mine and another sound fills the room. Tiny thuds. I swipe at the tears and stare at him for confirmation that what I’m hearing is right and it’s not just wishful thinking.
“The little peanut was hiding from me. Heartbeat sounds strong. I’ll want you in for an ultrasound as soon as possible since you were bleeding.”
“But how can I still be pregnant. It was a lot of blood,” I ask him confused.
“Bleeding happens from time to time in pregnancy. It can be a normal thing or indicate a problem which is why I want you to be seen by an OB/GYN as soon as possible. You can resume regular activities as long as no bleeding is present. If there is, I want you to rest until you are seen. That baby has been through a lot but clearly it’s a tough little thing.” He smiles as he wipes the goo from my stomach and collects his things to leave. I sit up and cross my legs, wondering what this all means for me and Blade. He claimed me when he thought I lost the baby. What is he going to say now that I know I didn’t? Is he going to hate me? Make me leave? Oh God, I don’t know what to do now. When I feel the tears prickle my eyes, Diablo leaps onto the bed and lays his head in my lap.
“You could be a good big brother, couldn’t you?” He looks up at me with those big dark eyes and I laugh. I have to remain strong now. I have a child to think about. I rub D’s ears and watch his eyes fall closed when the door opens and Blade walks in. His gorgeous eyes dance over me waiting for me to say something.
“You should sit down,” I tell him. He nods his head and walks to the bed, sitting on the edge and scooting back against the headboard. I shift so that I can look over at him.
“The doctor wants me to be seen at an OB/GYN as soon as possible. I haven’t worked at the club long enough to get a check so I’m going to look for something else tomorrow.”
Blade shakes his head no before crossing his arms over his chest. “I got it covered. We’ll get you in tomorrow. Are you okay?” His soft tone takes me by surprise.
“I am now. Blade, the doctor…well he said that…”
“What? He said what?” Worry dances across his features, instantly warming my heart.
“He said that the baby didn’t die. I didn’t have a miscarriage.” His arms fall and his brows furrow. He scoots closer to me, clearly confused by what I just said.
“What does that mean exactly?”
“It means that I’m… shit. I can’t do this.” Pushing Diablo’s head gently from my lap, I start to climb off the bed when Blade grabs me and pulls me back.
“We said no secrets, Lola. Come on.”
“I’m still pregnant, Blade. I heard its little heartbeat. A little person is growing inside of me and his dad is a monster.” Now the tears fall. Blade looks at me confused before he speaks.
“But you were bleedin’. A lot. I saw it.”
“The doctor said that sometimes that’s normal but that’s why he wants me to go in to see someone.” I can’t look up at him. I can’t see the hurt look in his eyes. He probably hates me now.
“You can tell me you changed your mind, Blade. I wouldn’t expect you to want to be with me now.” The silence is eerie and makes my heart thump louder in my chest.
“I said I claimed you, didn’t I?” Shit now he sounds pissed.
“Yeah, when you thought I lost the baby!” I snap trying to wiggle my way out of his arms. He doesn’t let go; in fact, his grip tightens and moves me to his side, dropping me on the bed next to him. In one swift move he’s on top of me and pinning me to the bed with his strong body.
“Look at me, Lola.”
I shake my head clenching my eyes closed. I don’t want to look him in the eye; it’s too hard for me to see the pain.
“Now. Open your goddamn eyes and look at me.”
I take a deep breath and open them, looking up at the man that has saved me more times than I care to admit.
“I claimed you. You’re mine. Maybe this isn’t the way other people do things. They meet and fuck, ha
ve kids, and move on. We ain’t other people, though. We both found somethin’ we wanted and we took it. You get what I mean?” His eyes look so sincere but I’m lost.
“Nope. Not one fucking word.” Blade laughs and it’s the best sound in the world.
“I mean that we didn’t meet and fall in love. We met under shitty circumstances but that doesn’t mean we can’t make this work. You, me, the baby. Why can’t we make it work?” His voice is soft and full of emotion like he really wants this.
I stare into his eyes at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say. He wants this baby with me? Is that what he’s saying? I can’t imagine why he would.
“Stop fuckin’ thinkin’ and just listen. You want this baby?” he asks me and my insides clench. I hate to say yes and him say no. I hate the idea that he may reject me but if I’m being honest with myself, I do want my baby.
“Yes.”
“Then we have a baby. End of story.” He leans down to kiss me but I pull my head away. His eyes burn with desire as he looks at me but what he just said guts me.
“We?” I ask confused. Blade doesn’t smile or speak. He runs his hand down my side over my stomach and stops there.
“Do you want me, Lola?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Do you want me? Do you want to be with me?”
“Yes, Blade. Yes I want you.” The words came out of my mouth easier than I thought they would.
“And I want you. I wanted kids.” He shrugs.
“But it’s not yours.” I almost regret saying the words even as they left my mouth.
“You are mine. That baby is mine. End of it, Lola. I don’t wanna hear you fuckin’ call that baby anything other than ours, do you hear me?” he growls.
I’m almost shocked speechless. Never in a million years would I have thought this is how my life got flipped upside down. So I do the only thing I can; I nod my head slowly before he kisses me roughly. My insides explode feeling him pressed against me.
“Fuck, Lola. I want you so goddamn bad but not today. You need to rest and I’m fuckin’ drunk. Wait until that doctor says you’re fine and then I’m fuckin’ you until you can’t walk,” he says, his words laced with sexual need. My pussy quivers needing him inside of me but he’s right. I don’t want to do any more harm than what has already been done. Blade rolls off me and pulls me against his body.
“I’m so fuckin’ drunk, babe,” he grumbles, making me giggle.
“You smell like whiskey.”
“Sorry. I’ll do better. I won’t drink as much. I promise.”
My heart soars hearing him say that. He’s promising me things that no one else ever has. We lay in silence for a little while until I can feel his breaths even out behind me, the rise and fall of his chest as he keeps me close. D climbs up on the other side of me, snuggling into the blanket too. I sigh and nudge Blade with my elbow.
“Blade?”
“Hmm?”
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” I whisper not knowing if he heard me or not. Not until the words leave his sleepy lips.
“I think I’m fallin’ for you too.”
Chapter 19
Blade
How can life be perfect? How does it feel perfect? I watch her walk around looking like a fucking goddess with Diablo at her side. I never thought I’d see the day anyone, especially a fucking woman, would take over my dog. But that’s the new reality and he’s protective of her.
“Fuckin’ dog is worthless now,” Neo says with a chuckle. I nod my head and take a pull from my beer as I watch her and Jersey talk.
“Ruined. By a fuckin’ woman, brother.” Neo laughs before slapping a hand on my shoulder.
I don’t take my eyes off her when suddenly her smile fades. Her head jerks in my direction, her pretty brows furrowing. Something’s wrong, I can feel it from here. I stand from my stool as she walks toward me, confusion written all over her face. I meet her in the middle in a few short strides when my hands land her cheeks, cupping her face.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“You said you lost a shipment. I heard that before, right?” What the hell is she talking about now? How does she even know about that?
“None of your concern.”
“Oh, bite me, you asshole!” she snaps but I don’t take my hands off her. I just chuckle and say, “Glad to.”
“I mean it; Ryan said something that night, Blade.”
“What? What did he say?”
“He said he stole something from you. He said that he would take me down with all of you.” The words leave her mouth and I drop my hands, taking a step back. Anger rushes my system much like the alcohol I’ve consumed. I reach for the nearest bottle of whiskey and take a long pull. Lola eyes me but doesn’t say a word.
“And you just now find the time to tell me that?” I roar, causing everyone’s eyes to follow the drama as it unfolds.
“I was a little worried about myself and my child, in case you forgot!” She puts her hands on her hips and stares at me with hatred of her own.
“Your child? Is that how we’re playin’ this darlin’?” I take a step closer, taking another pull of the whiskey, letting it run wild through me.
“Fuck right the fuck off, Blade. You’re being an asshole when I’m only trying to help,” she hisses between her gritted teeth.
“Say it again. And this time say it right,” I demand. She raises an eyebrow and looks at the bottle in my hand. I know I made her a promise I’d calm that shit down, but here she is dropping yet another goddamn bomb on me. The guys are all moving in around us and this situation is quickly becoming heated. Her eyes dart around before coming back to meet mine.
“Our child. Okay? Happy now, asshole?” she screams so the whole club can hear. I can hear them all mumbling to themselves as I take another pull.
“Goddamn right I am! Fuck with me one more time, Lola. Just one more time,” I warn her. Her eyes blaze with that fire that gets me hard every fucking time. Everything is hitting me at once. Her timing is bullshit. This information would have been helpful earlier. I’m also fucking drunk off my ass and the fact she was called the baby hers and not ours pissed me off too.
“What the hell is this pissin’ match about?” Ransom asks stepping up next to both of us.
“Little Miss Lola seems to have forgotten an important conversation she had with her ex,” I say, cocking my head to the side to stare at her. She narrows her eyes, her brows pulling together. Fire dancing in her veins.
“I was in the middle of being beat to hell so please forgive me, Mr. Badass, if I wasn’t thinking clearly. He was trying to beat my own child out of me!” Damn I love her fucking anger. I love watching her unravel and fall apart right in front of my fucking eyes.
“Wait, what? A child? Who does that child belong to?” Ransom asks, crossing his arms over his chest and looking between us.
I refuse to answer. This is her time to shine. If she truly wants me, wants us, she will make that choice right here and now. We stare at each other heat simmering between us. The higher it boils the more it could burn, and I’m fucking ready to feel it. Her eyes hold so much anger and regret that I don’t know how to separate the two anymore. I don’t know which parts are which.
“Him.” The word leaves her mouth but her eyes never leave mine. That vague answer isn’t going to suffice for anyone here.
“Him who? Him, Blade? Or him your ex?” Ransom asks, looking at me one more time. A little smirk curls my lips before she rolls her eyes and her body relaxes.
“Blade’s. It’s Blade’s.” The room explodes in screams and congratulations. Lola is swept up in all of it but what she said still lingers in my mind. He said he stole something from us and I wonder what the hell that was.
“A dad? Finally, brother! I’m so goddamn happy for you,” Ransom says, pulling me into a hug. I hug him back but my mind is somewhere else.
“It’s not really mine, Ransom.” He’s the best friend
I have here and we’ve always been close. Close enough to talk about anything.
“You okay with that?” Nodding my head I look over at him.
“Wished it was mine.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re the dad, yeah? You can have more later. Takes a real man to be a dad, you know?” Nodding my head I know that Ransom grew up with a stepdad that was more of a father than his real one was. He’s right. It takes a real man and that is something I am. Pushing my way through the crowd, I grab Lola and drag her along toward the corner.
“You said he stole something. What did that mean?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “He didn’t say. He just said that he knew I was here and that you are the same guys that he stole from.”
My mind goes wild with ideas when it hits me. The fucking meth. That little sneaky bastard stole the meth. And my fiery Lola unknowingly solved the puzzle for us. God, this woman. She’s incredible and has no idea.
“I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”
“Do it.” Her challenge has my dick rock-fucking-hard and ready to take her, but there is still some doubt in the back of mind about hurting her.
“No. As much as I want to, I won’t until the doc says I can.”
“I’ll get myself off, Blade. I’m horny as fuck,” she states slipping her hand into the top of her sweat pants. I watch her hooded eyes as a gasp rips from her lips. I reach forward, pulling her hand out of her pants as I listen to her whine in protest before slipping mine in.
“You wanna come? You only come for me. You got that?” Slipping a finger inside of her she moans. Pressing the palm of my hand against her clit, I slowly press down and move it up and down. Lola’s hips rock into my touch, taking what she so desperately wants from me.
“Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“For you, Blade. I’m wet for you.” Her moans sound so perfect as they reach my ears. I move my hand faster, fucking her with the pressure she needs. Her hips jerk, her body tenses. Her pussy grabs hold of my finger and holds on for dear life as waves of pleasure crash over her. My hand is soaked by the time I pull it out of her pants. I grin and run my tongue over all the juices she leaked and groan. Fuck!
