THE UNLIKELY BODYGUARD

by Amy J. Fetzer

  She moaned. "Hail Mary, that feels good."

  He let his hand ride up and down her leg. "You worked hard today."

  She smiled. She'd spread hay, shoveled dung, and even had the nerve to get on a horse again and ride the fields. Gabe grew his own feed, used water from the stream, and was nearly self-sufficient. "Two weeks ago you would have told me I was in the way."

  "Maybe."

  She nudged him in the stomach with her foot and he made a show of folding over. "You know you would have."

  He turned toward her, like a panther stalking a mouse, and crawled on top of her, setting his weight gently over hers. She worked the journal from between them and set it on the floor.

  "I'm beat." He laid his head on her chest and she sifted her fingers through his dark hair. It was a long moment before he asked, "Why did you do it, Cal?" He slid his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "You could have taken a nap or something."

  "Thank you for reminding me that I am a poor ranch hand," she muttered dryly, and he looked up.

  "I didn't mean—"

  She pressed her fingers to his lips. "I know." She smiled tenderly, tracing the lines in his face with her fingertip. "I wanted to be a part of it. I never felt that way about much before, not that I didn't want to." She shrugged. "And I wanted—" she met his gaze "—to be with you."

  "Good."

  Her brows rose. "Really?"

  "Saved me from thinking of an excuse to come hunt you down."

  His admittance touched her deeply. "Now why would you do that?"

  He inched up and whispered in her ear, whispered erotic words of what he wanted to do to her, how he would, and she felt a tingling heat skate up and down her body. "Is that possible?" she asked, nudging him so she could taste his mouth.

  "Let me show you."

  And boy, did he.

  Bull came around the back of the barn and handed him the cellular phone. Gabe instantly looked for Calli. She was in the yard, teaching Geyser and Deek some karate, and a smile unwillingly shaped his lips. A black belt. No wonder she could dump him on his butt so easily. He looked back at Bull and moved out of sight.

  "What?"

  "Gabe? Daniel."

  "I figured that."

  "Not going well, huh?"

  The concern in Daniel's voice hit Gabe like a mallet. Yes, he thought it was going great. He wanted Calli to stay and he'd broken a personal code by not following through with what he'd promised Daniel.

  God, he didn't want to do this.

  "Tell me you have everything cleared up, Daniel."

  "No."

  Gabe cursed, shoving his fingers through his hair, then mashing them over his face.

  "But almost," Daniel added. "Did you get it back?"

  "No."

  "For heaven's sake, Gabe, what's the holdup?"

  Gabe didn't respond, but his sigh was audible.

  "Oh, God," came through the phone.

  "Guess I don't need to explain then, huh?"

  "I swear, Gabe!" There was a soft hiss through the phone and Gabe knew Daniel was trying to control his temper. "Just get it tonight and send her home, dammit." The line went dead and Gabe knew Daniel was angry. He collapsed the phone and tossed it in the tack room. Then with a burst of fury, he kicked the door shut.

  Bull came around the corner, scowling. "Got a problem, son?"

  Gabe stared at the hay-strewn floor, rubbing the back of his neck, his tall body a dark silhouette against the sun streaming through the open doors. "No. I'm fine." But he wasn't. He was so twisted inside he didn't know what to do. He owed Daniel, that was a given. But to repay by betraying Calli?

  He could just go to her, tell her everything, then let her rant and rave and hope she would forgive him. Gabe couldn't risk it. He had to get the memo without her knowledge, and then nothing would happen. She would stay and he could go on loving her—

  His head jerked up, his eyes wide. He stared at the barren wood wall.

  He loved her.

  Hell, he'd never loved a woman before, so how the hell did he know what he was feeling? All he knew was that when she walked into a room he was happy, when she smiled at him and touched him, he could almost cry from the sweetness of it. He wanted Calli in his life forever and he found himself late at night, watching her sleep in his arms, imagining a life with her, a family maybe. A damn dream, Griffin, a dream.

  Things are different beyond this ranch. She would go back and remember him as if he were a summer fling when she was a teenager. He wasn't good enough for a lifetime with Calli. He couldn't trust his feelings for her. And he couldn't tell her. She would think he meant marriage and kids with a man like him. God, that was a laugh. He might be a decent lover in her eyes, but husband material? No way.

  And what did he have to offer her. Debts? How could he ask her to stay? She was educated and rich, with a career that made her the toast of the culinary world. Hell, he'd picked up a copy of Bon Appetit while they were in the grocery store last week, out of sheer curiosity, and was stunned to see an article about her. It brought home just how different they were, again. Even though she dismissed it to hype for the winter line, Gabe wasn't fooled. She wouldn't be happy at the ranch, not for long.

  All through dinner, he racked his brain for a solution. He didn't want to hurt her and felt he could get this matter out of the way without her knowing. It was deceiving, he knew, but what was that compared to lying to her flat-out? Or losing her? He remained in the barn shoeing a horse, avoiding her and facing his crime.

  After supper she caught his arm, her blue eyes searching his, and Gabe clasped her roughly to him and kissed her in front of the ranch hands. And then he kissed her some more before he went back to work. It wasn't until the boys came to say goodbye that he realized it was nearly sundown. Bull's truck followed the van down the long dark road.

  He left the barn and stopped short when she was nowhere in sight. Walking to the house, he found it empty, and he searched. He heard the splash of water and rapped on the bathroom door. "Come in."

  Gabe's breath caught. She was in a sea of bubbles, her head and shoulders exposed and she sank back and draped her arms over the edge of the old claw-footed tub.

  "Want to join me?" She flicked water at him and he offered a small smile.

  "Got to make a town run."

  She frowned.

  "Some supplies."

  She started to get out of the tub.

  "No, you stay, enjoy that." He gestured to the bubbles. "It will only take me an hour at the most. I'm going to lock you in. Okay?"

  She nodded, trying not to frown. "Come here." He stepped inside, shutting out the draft, and knelt beside the tub. "What's bothering you?"

  "Nothing, baby, just tired."

  She didn't believe him, even though he had four more horses to care for than a week ago. She cupped his jaw, tipping his face to hers and gazing into his eyes. She saw defeat there, regret and maybe a little anger. What had happened? she wondered. She adored this man but he was going to have to learn to share more. And it would start with her.

  "There is something I've been meaning to tell you."

  Me too, he thought, his heart squeezing in his chest. He covered her hand pressed to his cheek.

  "I love you, Gabriel."

  He closed his eyes, his fingers flexing over hers. "Cal—"

  "No. Don't say anything. I love you. That's all."

  That's all? Is that enough? a voice sounded in his brain like a thunderclap. He learned over and kissed her, a brief brush of his lips that shattered her heart. Without a glance, he stood and left, closing the door behind him. Calli sank into the bubbles and tried not to cry. He didn't love her back.

  Beyond the door, Gabe sagged against the wood. His eyes burned and he shut them tightly. I love you, Gabriel. He never thought anyone would say those words to him. Ever. He wanted to grab her up and run for the hills where no one could find them, nothing could harm them. He almost wished she'd never said those words. It made it h
arder to do what he'd promised. He swore he was out of the private investigating business after this.

  He pushed away from the door and strode across the room to where her journal lay spread on the coffee table. He searched, found the memo tucked in the back, with an itinerary of a Mexican tour she'd never taken. He replaced everything as it was, then stuffed it in his back pocket. He wasn't going to send it to Daniel, he was going to burn it.

  Calli gave up trying to read the book and tossed it onto the coffee table. He'd been gone over an hour. She was worried. Without the distraction of a television, she had little beyond her own imagination to comfort her. She rewrapped her robe and reached for her journal. Propping it on the arm, she scanned her notes by candlelight, then picked up her pen. She wrote hard and suddenly ran out of ink. Cursing under her breath, she stood, took the candle and walked to his desk, hunting for a pen. It was awkward, trying to search with a candlestick in her hand. She opened the top right drawer and saw his gun, nudged it out of the way as if it were a snake, then dug deeper. Nothing. How could that man function without a pen? Sitting down, she riffled the center drawer and was about to close it and give up when something caught her attention. Excalibur stationery.

  Her hand trembled as she lifted the sheet out. Her heart sank to her stomach. Tears filled her eyes. It was addressed to Gabriel Griffin, Private Investigator, from Daniel O'Hara. And it was about her.

  * * *

  Twelve

  « ^ »

  The door rattled and she looked up as he stepped inside.

  His gaze went immediately to her. Then to the paper in her hand, the shadow of the gold-embossed letterhead reflecting clear in the candlelight.

  Gabriel's heart clenched painfully as he brought his gaze to hers. The look in her eyes was like a switchblade slicing his throat. Agonizing. Hopeless.

  She stood slowly. "You're a private investigator." Her tone was dead. Flat.

  "Yes." He shrugged uneasily. "Sometimes."

  "Apparently a very good one," she said, tossing the paper onto the desk, her usual soft voice gone bitter with anger. "I thought your name was familiar, but I couldn't remember where I'd seen it." Her hand trembled as she brushed her hair back from her face. "Now I do." He really had been talking with Daniel that day in her hotel room.

  "I couldn't tell you, Cal. Client confidentiality."

  "How convenient for you." Her voice wavered and she swallowed repeatedly.

  Gabe said nothing, looking away. But he could feel her hurt with every indrawn breath and it surrounded him, bludgeoning a hard fist against his heart.

  "You were hired to follow me, to protect me from what? Who?"

  He brought his gaze to hers. "Murdock and anyone who wants your work for Excalibur."

  "For a winter line I hadn't even created?" She snapped her hand toward the letter. "If he wanted the damn recipes enough to hurt me, trash my room, let loose your colt, I would have gladly given them to him!" she stormed as she moved around the desk, her eyes sharp with anger. "They don't mean that much to me, Gabe, and I can always create more."

  He held her gaze, searching for the woman he'd held only hours ago. "He wanted to hurt you, Cal."

  She scoffed and he could tell she was fighting tears. "He hurt you. You had more to lose than me and a few recipes."

  Losing her was worse than dying and he was watching it happen. "Calli, I didn't want you to find out like this." He stepped closer.

  She retreated. "Well, I did. When were you going to tell me? After you made love to me for the hundredth time?"

  "There never was a good time."

  "Then why, Gabriel?" Her voice fractured, broke over his name.

  His client confidentiality in tatters, he said, "Daniel asked me to get a memo you had."

  Daniel had known all along where she was. Damn them. "The one about Rodrigez?" He scowled. "I've seen it. Only this morning." She bent and riffled through the thick planner. Her hand stilled when she realized it wasn't there. Slowly she straightened, her shoulders drooping. "You went through my things," came with utter despair. She lifted her gaze to his, raking him and finding him short of her expectations. "All you had to do was ask, Gabe." Fat tears filled her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. Gabe withered inside with each one. "You must think I'm really stupid."

  "No! Come on, Cal—"

  She put up her hand to stop the explanation she didn't want to hear. "Daniel is wrong and he'll find out soon enough. But you could have been honest."

  His spine stiffened, his expression unreadable. "I had a job to do."

  "And I trusted you!" she cried, clutching her robe, nearly folding over with her pain. "I trusted you, Gabriel. How could you do this to me? For a few dollars? Were you well compensated for the duty of kissing me, touching me, making love to me?" came a tortured sob.

  Gabe's expression crumbled. "Baby, you have to know that isn't true." He plowed his fingers through his hair, his arms already aching to hold her. "God, I wished Daniel had never asked. But I owed him."

  "And what did you owe me? I loved you! But you couldn't be honest with me. You didn't care about me. I was just a case to you."

  "After all this—" he spread his arms "—is that what you think?"

  "Tell me otherwise."

  He stared at her, through her. The silence stretched. And Gabe was suddenly mortally terrified. Terrified of her leaving him and terrified of her staying; of confessing his heart and having it crushed. But she made him weak with longing for dreams he'd no right to seek, for an equal share of a relationship. He couldn't give her back what she needed, deserved, not in a lifetime. And the look in her eyes told him the respect she had for him was now burned to ashes.

  Her next words were laced with such stinging agony, Gabe knew there was no repairing the damage he'd done.

  "I see. Damn, I feel like a whore." His gaze shot to hers. "And you've shown me there really is no one here but Angel."

  She left the room, her hand over her mouth. But he heard her sobs. He could take anything but her tears, and every muffled whimper, every choke, tore through him, ripping and shredding what was left of his composure. His insides twisted, an unfamiliar rock filling his throat.

  He hadn't moved when she came out of the room, dressed and packed. She grabbed up her journal and stuffed it into her bag, then headed to the door. His fist clenched with the urge to grab her and beg her to stay.

  Calli stilled on the threshold, casting a glance back over her shoulder. She held his gaze, silently pleading.

  Stop me. Tell me you love me and give me a chance to forgive you.

  But he didn't want forgiveness, she knew. It would be his punishment.

  And her penance for loving him.

  He stood motionless, even after he heard her car speed away.

  Numbly, Gabriel stared at the room, his gaze drawn to a platter in the center of the dining table a few feet away. Carefully presented was a single shield of a fallen knight, bleeding his love's bitter tears. And a note, written before his crime. The simple words gouged his heart. I will always love you, bad boy.

  Calli moved around the massive test kitchen with quick efficiency, snapping orders, correcting mistakes. Her apprentices were shell-shocked and when she accidentally knocked a metal bowl to the floor, they cowered. She sighed and bent to clean up the mess, peaches and cream sliding over her hands. The scent of it brought back unbearable pain with the force of a blow. Gabriel, his pale eyes and dark presence, his possessive kisses, the way he looked when he made love to her, the way he smiled.

  And the way he'd let her walk out of his life. She choked back a sob and quickly cleaned up the mess.

  "Calli?" Rodrigez whispered, bending to help. His shirtsleeves were rolled back, exposing a tattoo and her heart shattered again. Two weeks and she was still so numb. Nothing gave her any satisfaction. The harder she fought to keep Gabe out of her mind, the bigger he was, invading her work, her dreams, a silent phantom in her bed.

  He doesn't love you. He let yo
u go.

  Calli felt like discarded baggage, used and pushed aside when the bubble burst. Her hands shook. Her mind wouldn't rest, her heart aching for a man who didn't want her beyond his bed. She knew he wasn't the commitment type and she was an utter fool to think she could change that. She felt wasted and barren inside. She could forgive that he'd taken pay to protect her, set up their meeting in the Nail, challenged her to get her out to his ranch. She even reasoned that because of some code of honor for a client, he couldn't reveal his circumstances. But what she couldn't take was that after all they'd shared, he could let her walk away without a second thought. Not even a cool, "It's been great, baby, see ya around." Not even a goodbye.

  "I can't do this anymore," she whispered brokenly. She stood and headed to her offices, stripping off her white coat and tall hat.

  "I won't accept it." Daniel sagged back in the big leather desk chair and tossed her resignation back at her. "Then don't. I don't care."

  She didn't care about much anymore, he thought sadly. Her energy was gone, her eyes lacked sparkle, her smiles rare and forced. This was the first time she'd spoken to him in two weeks and beyond losing his executive chef, he was losing a dear friend.

  "Calli, honey, I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of this, but—"

  She put up her hand, halting yet another explanation. "Daniel. I left for more reasons than lack of creativity. I hid out, which was a joke since you knew where I was, but I went with Gabriel to avoid you and them." She flung a hand toward the test kitchens and the apprentice chefs she knew had an ear glued to the separating door. "I know you all care about me, but you treat me like a child. Hail Mary, I couldn't go on a vacation without you prying into my life! If you'd given me credit for having a brain, if you'd been honest, you wouldn't have spent your hard-earned cash on a baby-sitter!" She took a deep breath and calmed her temper, her eyes bright as she stared out the wide window behind his desk.