Duty Bound Desire: The Sheikh's Forced Marriage (Desert Desires Book 1)

by Jennifer Jansen

  ‘Even for people like us whose lives are often so pre-determined,’ he said, his voice quiet, contemplative.

  She didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure how to respond to that or what exactly he was referring to. ‘I’m not really sure what you’re talking about, Nabil,’ she responded honestly, getting out of bed and grabbing her robe off the chair.

  He exhaled loudly. ‘You wanted to pursue a career, for example, but here you are…trapped…with me.’

  Whow! That certainly wasn’t what Yasmin was expecting to hear.

  Where was he going with this?

  He still hadn’t turned to look at her. He seemed so far away at that moment. She could feel the chasm between them as she had that day coming back from the oasis. And she hated it.

  ‘Some years ago, I divorced my first wife,’ he continued, completely surprising Yasmin with the subject. ‘The entire situation took a huge toll.’

  This was not the conversation she was expecting. ‘Nabil, these things happen,’ she offered lamely. ‘Even in royal circles.’ But she knew it was rare – especially in royal circles.

  It was obviously a painful event in his life. Was it that which had scarred him emotionally? Did he love his first wife so much that he now felt he couldn’t love anyone else the same way? ‘You loved her so much didn’t you?’ She offered, not wanting to make him say it.

  ‘Hmm.’ It was the only response he offered.

  She wasn’t really sure of her footing at this point so she again waited. Allowed him to continue at his pace. Perhaps this might be a turning point. Perhaps he would open up to her a bit more.

  He turned and looked at her then, his dark eyes needing to unload secrets. Secrets she wanted to know. She wanted to delve into them and see everything from his perspective. The way he saw them.

  ‘Loved her?’ He asked with self-derision. ‘No,’ he responded simply.

  That wasn’t what Yasmin was expecting. But why not? He had shown her that he kept himself reserved. He did it with her. Why was she so surprised that he had done it with his first wife? She had always assumed though that his marriage breakdown was why he kept himself so distant and self-contained.

  ‘But I had hoped there would be at least some respect that could be the glue to hold us together for the sake of…..’ he broke off.

  ‘What happened?’ Yasmin dared to ask. She had heard and read so many different accounts and obviously also made up her own stories in her head. It would be good to hear it right from the source itself. She knew it had to be a sore point, but he might not be in this open mood again and she wanted to know.

  There was more silence for a moment. He was facing away from her again. She was still looking at his profile. To Yasmin, it looked like Nabil was contemplating whether to go into that story or not. Then, he spoke.

  ‘I met Nahla whilst visiting one of the emirates in our region. She was quite beautiful...’ he paused, remembering. ‘And she knew how to use that beauty.’

  Yasmin listened, but said nothing.

  ‘I’m not saying I had no responsibility, but I was much younger then and, well... more easily prone to…mistakes. My father had tried to set up an arrangement with your parents, as you now know, but I wanted freedom. I wanted to break out of the prison that sometimes is this royal house.’

  So, he suffered in his position also. And he had been pushed into this marriage just like she had always suspected.

  ‘We had some passionate nights, he continued. ‘Then one day she came to me saying she was pregnant.’ He sharply drew in a breath.

  His eyes were still on the water outside the glass doors. He had a faraway look as he remembered. ‘I married her thinking it was the right thing to do. I wanted – and still want,’ he turned his head and looked directly into her eyes then, ‘to be honourable in all my dealings.’

  Yasmin swallowed hard. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

  ‘What I didn’t realise,’ he continued as he turned and looked out at the sea once more, ‘was that there would be three of us in that marriage.’

  Yasmin furrowed her brows, not quite sure of exactly what that meant. Then understanding took hold and she felt a rough jolt of realisation. ‘She had someone else?’ She asked in shock.

  ‘She had someone else,’ he repeated softly. ‘And the child was his.’

  Yasmin couldn’t help the appalled gasp that escaped her mouth. It was already a huge transgression to cheat on one’s spouse in their culture. It was quite another to cheat on your spouse when he was the Crown Prince.

  ‘Why did she marry you in the first place if the child wasn’t yours?’ It just came out before she could stop herself.

  He laughed sarcastically. ‘Come on, Yasmin. My status. And the status that she would acquire through me.’

  ‘Queen,’ Yasmin quietly murmured.

  ‘I can’t believe she actually thought that she could be my wife and somehow still keep her lover on the side. Foolish. So foolish. And so disrespectful,’ he said with such disdain.

  Ahh, now things were slowly starting to make more sense. That’s why he was so focussed on respect. He had mentioned it at their very first meeting she remembered, and often since then.

  ‘When I found out about the affair,’ he continued, ‘I asked for a DNA test to be done on the unborn child. She fought it, of course.’

  ‘What happened to her?’ Yasmin asked with some trepidation.

  He turned, looking her straight in the eyes. ‘What do you think? She was exiled from Zashar forever. She was sent back to her family in disgrace,’ he snarled. ‘I have not seen nor heard from her since. Although I have heard from other sources that the man she was with has now been imprisoned for fraud.’

  He stood still for a moment, introspective once more.

  ‘The scandal that the marriage breakdown caused was bad enough. The news outlets couldn’t get enough of it. Can you imagine what it would have been like if anyone had discovered there was a child - and it was not mine?’ He was facing her, his face a contortion of disgust and repulsion. His eyes were wild now. His fists clenched. ‘Do you have any idea how that would have impacted my family? The crown? My kingdom?’ My father. Was the unspoken words she could see in his eyes.

  Yasmin stood transfixed by this story of deceit and duplicity. She could well imagine how it would have played out had that sensitive information been leaked. It could have brought down the House of Al Massoud.

  ‘Can you imagine what would have occurred had this information been discovered later when the child was older and perhaps even ready to take the throne?’ He asked coarsely. Yasmin struggled to even envision such a scenario. ‘The fallout would have been something I can barely even fathom,’ he said his face scrunched in pain, his hand coming up moving across his forehead roughly. He shook his head. ‘That woman could have been the end of everything my family had built. The end of me,’ he confided.

  ‘The fallout was bad enough from the divorce alone, after a marriage of only a few months. And of course, my father’s heart condition was worsening and couldn’t take another hit. The relationship with Nahla’s nation was thrown into jeopardy. It was an alliance my father had worked many years to develop. And of course, I was stupid enough to tell him about a grandchild he was so looking forward to meeting.’

  ‘Your father knew?’ She said, shocked to hear this bit of information.

  ‘The first grandchild and an heir to the throne would have made him so happy. I knew that. I foolishly went to him with the news before finding out all the facts.’

  Yasmin had to take a few moments to fully digest this information. ‘Nabil, I never knew. The only things I had either heard or read, well,

  the truth is, they were more about you…about your…infidelity.’

  ‘It was better that way,’ he said quietly. ‘At least I could take that hit.’

  Yasmin was left stunned. ‘So, even with all her deception and outright treachery, you still protected her?’

 
He didn’t give an answer. Just shrugged his shoulders.

  ‘When I was told we would be getting married,’ Yasmin began, ‘I was horrified to tell you the truth.’ A knowing smile crossed his face. Of course he knew. She had made it painfully obvious at their first meeting. ‘And later, well, I looked you up online.’

  Understanding shone in his eyes. ‘Ah, yes. What could be more factual than the tabloids?’ he asked sarcastically.

  ‘I know about the tabloids, Nabil. Remember, I am from a royal house myself. We are not immune to false stories. But, you can’t deny that you have had your share of beautiful women.’

  His expression changed then. A storm was brewing in his eyes. ‘Yes I have, Yasmin. I am human,’ he said unapologetically. ‘I do experience emotions. Lust was one of them.’ Then he paused and added. ‘Loneliness was another.’

  Yasmin stiffened, held her breath. She had never heard him speaking about being vulnerable in any way. It was something she never expected him to admit to – a weakness. But why not? He was human. He was a man, albeit an incredibly amazing one.

  He walked closer to her and his proximity had her body humming like it always did. ‘And yes,’ he continued, ‘I took comfort in the human contact with women. But not to the extent the tabloids would have you believe.’ He paused then, his eyes assessing her. ‘Have you ever felt lonely, Yasmin? I mean truly lonely.’

  That last question jolted her. She wanted to say, ‘yes, every single day since we married.’ She looked up at him. His expression was dark, his eyes searching. ‘Of course, I’ve sometimes felt lonely,’ she answered truthfully.

  Nabil was not a man you could hide from, however. He moved even closer and she could feel the heat of his body, smell his manly scent. She raised her head even more now he was closer. There she saw compassion and concern. ‘And that feeling has amplified since our marriage. Isn’t that correct?’ he said gently, more of a rhetorical question than an actual one.

  She lowered her eyes. Exhaled slowly. ‘Yes.’

  Strong arms wrapped around her and he crushed her into his body, his mouth coming down onto the top of her head so she could feel his lips move as he spoke. ‘I know this marriage was unexpected and sudden. Everything moved so quickly. This has not been easy for you. I know I have not been very available to you either.’ She felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath.

  This was the man she wanted. The man who was open with her. The man who would take her in his arms and hold her when she needed comfort. Even though right now it was he who needed comfort, he was being strong for her.

  ‘I’ll tell you something though. From the first moment I met you, I knew you would be worthy of your position. And be worthy of my respect.’

  He released his hold on her slightly, looked deeply into her eyes. ‘I would expect that I too, am worthy of your respect.’

  Yasmin felt that question like a punch in the guts. ‘Of course,’ she sputtered. ‘You should know by now I respect you.’ She said somewhat indignantly.

  A tight smile briefly flashed across his face. ‘And yet, you still don’t fully trust me, do you? I can see it in your eyes.’

  She hated that he could see everything. She often felt that he could see right through her. Often those eyes of his seemed to see right through to her soul. And then she would wonder why, if that were the case, he couldn’t see how much her work meant to her. Then it occurred to her the maybe he did see. And if that was the case, he was either waiting for the right time, or…he didn’t care. Neither of those was acceptable to her.

  She brought herself back to the moment where Nabil’s eyes were again watching her. Should she ask him? If she didn’t ask about it now, would there be another chance? Would he be so open again?

  ‘Do you think we can ever have more than just respect? Ever?’ She asked, very unsure if she wanted to hear the answer or not.

  ‘Yasmin,’ he started.

  ‘How can we bring children into this the way it is?’ she said, cutting him off.

  He stopped then. ‘Both parents having respect for each other is what many children dream of. Why does it have to be anything more?’ he asked. ‘Why can’t we be happy with what we have, Yasmin?’

  ‘No!’ she ground out, taking him by surprise. ‘It isn’t enough. It will never be enough. I deserve more. I won’t be - ’ she stopped herself just in time. She wanted to say, like your mother. ‘You clearly like a particular type of woman – unconventional was it? Isn’t that the word your father used?’ She heard him curse under his breath. ‘I’m the opposite of that aren’t I? I’m boring and reliable.’ She was rattled now, looking up at him, wanting an answer. A proper answer.

  He composed himself after his initial surprise at her outburst. ‘I will not be pushed into something I’m not ready for,’ he said, his voice low and dangerous. ‘But I would like to think you have learnt enough about me now to keep those thoughts you’re obviously entertaining in your mind under some sort of control.’

  Yasmin felt a light sweat breaking out on her palms, her fury bubbling inside, rising. ‘If you’re not ready – supposedly, then why do I see a different man when we’re together in private? When we’re intimate. Why do you keep yourself – your true self,’ she corrected, ‘the one I see only when we’re in bed together, so detached from me everywhere else?’

  His shoulders slumped in seeming exasperation. ‘I can’t keep having this conversation, Yasmin.’ he said, quietly. ‘I can only give you as much as I have, no more than that. No more than what I have!’ The last sentence coming out in clear irritation.

  She pursed her lips together tightly. ‘That’s not good enough anymore,’ she stated.

  He just looked at her. His eyes shining with something she couldn’t quite decipher. He said nothing for a few moments. Then he spoke. ‘It will have to be good enough. It’s all I have.’

  The next few weeks were tense, very tense. Nabil had completely shut down after that night where he told Yasmin about is first marriage. It was as if he regretted ever being so open with her. Regretted showing any vulnerability.

  He had been doing a lot of flying between Zashar and her home Qaman, advising on and planning for any situation. And when he was back, a lot of his time was spent with his father who had now been moved back into the palace.

  Yasmin hated this. She hated that their relationship had stalled. She despaired at what she felt for her husband, but it was something out of her control now. She finally had to admit to herself that she was the only one feeling as deeply as she did and his self-imposed distance was breaking her heart. She should have known better than to fall so far so fast with Nabil, but she couldn’t help it. She had seen the man he truly was. She had seen his honour, his bravery, his benevolence, his strong sense of duty. His passion. How was she going to live the rest of her life with him only giving half of himself to her?

  She was deep in thought when there was a sharp knock at the door. The quarters she shared with Nabil were quite private so she was surprised that someone would be knocking.

  Yasmin walked over and opened the large wooden door. She opened it to find a young handmaiden standing there.

  ‘Yes,’ Yasmin said.

  ‘Forgive me, Your Highness. I…ah…I was wondering if His Highness was in.’

  This was highly unusual. No-one except close members of the royal family were allowed to come to their quarters, and specifically, no-one was to ask for the Crown Prince without first going through Mahir and security.

  The face in front of her was contorted with panic. ‘Princess Yasmin. Please come quickly. It’s King Atef.’

  ‘Where is he? What’s going on?’ she asked quickly as she rushed into the corridor shutting the door behind her.

  The young woman walked quickly beside her. ‘I heard his nurse say that this isn’t a good sign. He’s experiencing some pain and other symptoms. I…I don’t know. I don’t know much but when the nurse made a call to the hospital, my first thought was to get the prince. Then I
remembered you are a doctor.’

  Yasmin broke out into a run now. ‘You did the right thing,’ she called out to the handmaiden behind her, who she realised now must be one of the king’s junior assistants.

  Yasmin quickly threaded through the corridors of the palace, dodging staff and startling everyone. Behind her she could hear the young woman following. She was panting.

  She called out to a staff member as she passed, ‘Call the prince. Immediately.’

  Yasmin arrived at the king’s quarters and burst through the door, not waiting to knock or be invited in.

  She rushed over to where her father-in-law was sitting. She could tell straight away he was having another heart attack.

  King Atef was struggling to breathe. The nurse was on the phone. She looked over, a flash of relief when she saw Yasmin. ‘The helicopter is being prepared now,’ she said, at the same time as Yasmin saw Nabil burst into the room. His face was pale. His jaw clenched.

  ‘Yasmin, what’s happening?’

  For the first time she could hear dread in Nabil’s voice, even though he stood composed.

  Yasmin was getting the king to lie down, opening his shirt. She pulled on the stethoscope that was hanging on the side of the bed. ‘Has he had any nausea or vomiting?’ she asked the nurse.

  ‘Yes, our Highness. And he was feeling dizzy.’

  ‘It’s ok father. Just try to relax.’

  But she could see his breathing was becoming more laboured and he put his hand up to his chest, scrunching his face. He was in pain.

  Shit! Yasmin knew this was not good.

  Time was of the essence.

  Yasmin hooked him up to the ECG machine they had brought in to his rooms after his return from the hospital. She could see his heart movement was irregular. Nabil looked on in horror.

  Yasmin had to work quickly. She reached over and grabbed a syringe from the cupboard. Opening it carefully but quickly she then took the medication out. Her fingers worked nimbly as she inserted the syringe into the king’s arm without effort.

  ‘What can I do, Yasmin?’ Nabil sounded like he was pleading with her.