Love in the Fast Lane
Page 23
“Nothing yet, the nurse said we can go see him though.”
Nate led the way as they entered the pediatric ward and walked into Noah’s room. He lay in the corner of the small bed, huddled up into himself. His skin was pale and clammy, his eyes sunken into his face and his hair looked matted and damp.
Nate gave her the space to stand beside his bed and stroke Noah’s hair. His eyes fluttered open, looking dazed and confused.
“Momma?” he muttered.
“I’m right here, baby boy,” she bent to kiss his sweaty forehead, holding his small cold hand in her warm one, barely keeping the choked sob in.
“Where’s Dad?”
“I’m right here buddy,” Nate came to stand beside Brielle at his bedside. His voice sounded gruff and Brielle noticed the moisture in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“What for son?”
“For ruining our sleepover.”
“Don’t be silly, my boy. You have nothing to apologize for. I just want you to get better so I can beat you at Little Big Planet.”
Noah’s eyes fluttered closed as Brielle and Nate stood beside him, watching over their child.
The doctor walked in, a grim expression on his face.
“What is it?” Nate asked, taking control when Brielle couldn’t find her voice.
“It’s not Lyme disease.”
“That’s good news, right?”
“I’m afraid not. We suspect it’s meningitis.”
Nate took her hand without turning to look back at her, giving her a small semblance of support.
The doctor continued, “It could be bacterial or viral but it’s attacking his brain.”
“What can you do?”
“We need to first determine which type it is and then we need to run blood tests and a lumbar puncture where we remove fluid from his spine and test it to make sure we are treating for meningitis.”
“Is it painful?”
“It can be, yes. Especially for a child as young as Noah.”
“What are the risks if we don’t do the procedure?”
“If left untreated, Noah could develop deafness, epilepsy or other cognitive malfunctions. Brain damage is also a possibility.”
Brielle felt the room tilt and then Nate squeezed her hand reassuringly, bringing her back to earth.
Nate nodded in acknowledgement. “What is the treatment if he tests positive for meningitis?”
“Usually antibiotics and steroids can treat it.”
“Ok.”
“We will need you to sign some consent forms for the procedure. I will give you a moment with Noah and then meet you at the admin desk in front.”
“Thank you, doctor,” he shook the other man’s hand as the man walked out of the room and left them to be with Noah.
The child was asleep and breathing heavily. Brielle’s heart shattered. Her child was her life and she couldn’t bear to see him like this. She wished she could take away his pain.
“Hey, baby boy,” she whispered in his ear. “I need you to get better, ok? You’re all Momma has. You and me against the world, remember?” her voice broke and she took a minute to squelch the tears that were threatening to burst from her. “You can’t leave me, you understand?” She pressed her forehead to his and kissed his brow. “I love you.”
Brielle moved to the doorway to give Nate some space but his voice drifted to her as he spoke to his son. Nate held his small hand and stared at the pale child. “You’ve been so brave, buddy. I’m so proud of you. Now just get better ok? Then we can go do whatever you want. We can eat as much ice cream or Oreos as you want, no matter what your mom says.”
Nate walked out behind Brielle and closed the door behind him. Before she knew what she was doing, she threw herself into his arms and the floodgates opened. She sobbed uncontrollably, the tears streamed down her face, soaking his shirt. He didn’t protest, merely wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her to him, as though he needed the comfort as much as she did. Her heart broke over and over again. She’d never felt so helpless in all her life. The suppressed tears of the past years came forth and drained her already limp body. She mourned for her child lying in pain, helpless in the hospital bed. She mourned for the son that had been fatherless for his first five years of life. She mourned for every bad thing that had ever happened to her sweet boy.
They stood like that for what seemed like hours before she stood back and tried to compose herself. Without a question, Nate offered her a handkerchief and placed a hand on her back as he led her to the admin desk to fill out Noah’s consent forms.
When they were done, she pulled out her car keys to get into her car but Nate took them from her. “I will take you home,” he said simply. “I will get someone to fetch your car in the morning.”
It was still early hours of the morning and the sky remained dark. Brielle didn’t protest, she was far too emotionally drained to argue. She didn’t have the energy or the will to, even if she’d tried.
The drive was somber and quiet as Brielle and Nate were overwhelmed with their own thoughts.
Nate parked the car in the driveway and then walked around to open the passenger side door for Brielle. She was surprised when he took her house keys from her shaking hands, opened the door and ushered her in. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
“Not what you think.”
She allowed him to lead her to her room where he went on to sit her on the bed and removed her shoes and pants. He tugged at her shirt and she lifted her arms in the air so he pulled it off over her head.
She was surprised at the care he’d taken to undress her and clothe her in an old oversized t-shirt. She lay on the bed, feeling scared and alone as Nate began to walk out the door.
“Nate?”
“Yeah?” he stopped and faced her.
“Can you stay?”
The surprise reflected in his jade eyes.
“Just till I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.” Her eyes began to pool again and she had to take a deep breath to steady herself.
He nodded his head slightly in understanding as he kicked off his shoes and lay next to her on the bed, one arm behind his head as he stared at the white ceiling.
“What are you thinking?” she asked as she rolled over to look at him. His square jaw was set in a hard line and the lines around his mouth were no longer playful, he look tired and worried.
“I’m thinking that he’s going to be ok. He has to be ok,” Nate added softly.
She closed her eyes and drifted off into a fitful sleep, the only solace was the warmth she felt from Nate beside her.
When Nate woke up draped across Brielle the next morning, he’d crept out of her bed and stopped at the penthouse to shower before returning to the hospital. Brielle hadn’t come back yet but he appreciated the time alone he’d have with Noah.
He breezed past the nurses and entered his room. Noah was curled up in the fetal position, his skin still pale and he looked younger than his five years. Nate sat beside his bed and held onto his small, exposed hand, scarred with a deep IV.
If someone had said to Nate six months ago that this is where he’d be now, he would have laughed his socks off. He never would have thought he’d be scared out of his wits for a child that shared his bloodline, a child that made him forget about the racing career he’d lived for, a child that he would give his life for – his child. He’d had barely an hour of sleep the night before; plagued by awful thoughts – past, present and future.
“Hello, Mr. Wolfe,” the doctor greeted as he walked in and checked the charts at the base of the bed.
“Hello, Doctor. How is he doing today?”
The doctor looked grave. “Not well I’m afraid. We’ve had to sedate him because of the pain he was experie
ncing. It can be quite overwhelming for a five-year-old. The lumbar puncture was performed early this morning and we should have the results back by this afternoon. We will know the course of treatment from there.”
“What happens in the meantime?”
“Not much we can do, I’m afraid. The best we can do is keep him comfortable.”
“And what happens if he doesn’t get treatment in time?”
“We should hope it won’t come to that.”
“And what if it does?”
“It won’t,” the doctor reassured, although his expression said otherwise. He made some notes on Noah’s chart before leaving the room.
Nate turned to the frail child on the bed. “Hi son,” he began to the sleeping child. “It’s dad here. I need you to get better now, my boy. Your mom and I, we need you to be well again.”
The backs of Nate’s eyes prickled. He’d never been an emotional man but the sight of his child in this state just shattered him. A tear streamed down his cheek, scalding his skin.
“I had nothing in my life before I met you, Noah. I need you to know that. I didn’t have a father who cared about me. I didn’t know what a father was supposed to be like till you came along and changed my life. Hell, you turned it upside down. But, I think it was upside down before you, and you just turned it right side up. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I need you to get better so that I can be the best dad to you, every single day of your life. I will do anything and everything you need from me. I love you, son.”
He put his head onto the bed and sobbed into the sheets, his body racking with the burden of his pain. He’d had to keep it together last night for Brielle’s sake, he’d had to be strong but he felt anything but strong. He could not put on a brave face when his child’s life hung in the balance. His shoulders shook as the pain engulfed him. For years he’d bottled up his emotions. His childhood abuse, his mother’s illness, his father’s death – he’d compartmentalized it all and never truly dealt with it. But he’d managed. He could not compartmentalize when Noah was his entire life.
In the next instant a soft hand rested on his shoulder and as he turned to look at her, Brielle pulled him into her. He buried his head in her waist, seeking solace in a world he felt was crumbling around him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself as Brielle held him close and stroked his hair, as he knew she must have done to Noah many times before. It brought him a sense of comfort and also made him realize how much he’d missed this type of intimacy, how he’d kept women merely as sexual partners for so long, not wanting to let anyone in for fear of them hurting him. For fear of them dying and deserting him. Because if Nate was honest with himself, Brielle and Noah were all the family he had in this world.
He rubbed at his eyes and swiped against his wet cheek.
“He’s going to be ok,” Brielle whispered roughly. “Believe it, ok?”
He nodded as she walked around the bed and climbed in next to Noah, cradling his small body against her.
“The doctor sedated him,” he explained when Noah didn’t even stir against her. “He’s out cold.”
“What else did he say?”
“That the LP went well, our boy was a real trooper. We should know the results later.”
“Ok.” She closed her eyes as she leaned her head against Noah. When she opened them, she fixed her troubled gaze on Nate. “Thank you for last night,” she began. “Things haven’t been great between us lately but I appreciate what you did for me.”
“I’m sorry about all this crap that’s happened.” He placed his head in his hands and rubbed his face.
“Noah in the hospital isn’t your fault.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean the media and the accusations. I never meant for you to be crucified for your association with me.” He paused a moment, thinking what he wanted to say. “You were right about Mena.”
Her eyes widened.
“Not that I was involved with her and plotted this whole thing against you. But she confessed that she’d spoken to you when you tried to tell her you were pregnant. But she never did tell me Bree and whatever she told you I said was a lie. You have to believe that. The news would have scared the crap out of me but I would not have walked away from my own flesh and blood.”
He searched her sapphire eyes for any sign that she didn’t think he was talking total bullshit. “I always knew she had a crush on me, I just never thought she’d sabotage my life because of it. Anyway, she’s fired and she’s out of our lives and I’ve already made a statement to the press about the defamation. It doesn’t take away what this has caused you and Noah,” his voice cracked and he took another breath to calm himself, “but I hope it’s a step closer to you forgiving me.”
Brielle nodded her head in acceptance, not giving Nate anything more.
At that moment Noah opened his eyes and stared blankly at Nate.
“Hey buddy,” he stepped closer to Noah but his eyes remained blank and in the next instant his body was racked with another seizure.
“What’s happening?” Brielle asked, jumping off the bed in frantic panic.
“Get the doctor!” Nate ordered as he turned Noah on his side, watching as the boy’s eyes rolled back in his head.
The doctor and two nurses rushed into the room and pushed Nate aside as they took action, shouting medical terms across at each other and handling Noah with tubes and needles.
Beside him Brielle’s face streamed with tears and Nate pulled her in, his heart pounding in his chest.
He’d never experienced such cold, gripping panic in his life.
Later that evening Brielle paced Noah’s hospital room aimlessly, deep in her own thoughts. The doctors had stabilized Noah from his attack earlier and the lab tests had come back to confirm bacterial meningitis. The diagnosis did not exactly appease her but Brielle knew that it was better to at least know what they were dealing with and treat it rather than shooting in the dark.
They had administered a course of antibiotics and steroids to Noah and were told that time would tell if his little body was responding to the treatment. He was hooked up to so many IVs and contraptions and Brielle just could not wait till she was able to take him home.
She’d insisted that Nate go home to have some sleep but he’d adamantly refused. She watched as he laid his head on his arms on Noah’s bed. From his rhythmic breathing, she could tell that he’d just dozed off. She was still reeling from his earlier confession and apology. She didn’t know how much she believed him, or if she should believe him at all, but what she did know was that he’d been a great support to her during this whole situation. She’d tried to call Emma but only got her voicemail saying she had been whipped away on a holiday and not to leave a message unless it was life or death. She’d decided not to leave a message. Her friend had sacrificed so much for her and Noah over the years, she deserved some time for herself and her love life. She’d be pissed as hell when she returned to hear that Noah had been ill but she would get over it because Brielle believed Noah would make a full recovery by the time Emma returned. She had to believe. She could think of no other alternative.
And in the interim, Nate had been her strength. He’d stepped in when she was crumbling and had been a pillar holding her up, literally and figuratively.
She walked out to the cafeteria to get them both some coffee. They had practically lived in the hospital over the past forty-eight hours and the lack of sleep was certainly catching up to Brielle.
She stared up at the TV screen while she waited for her coffee. The news was showing the repeat footage of one of her paparazzi escapes, looking enraged and wild. She still couldn’t get used to seeing herself on TV, and she hated that she looked absolutely awful. The image changed and Nate appeared on screen.
“Can you turn that up?” she asked the man behind the counter, gesturing to the screen.
Cameras flashed as Nate walked off and the cameras panned to follow his retreating back
Brielle stood in stunned silence as she grabbed her coffees waiting on the counter. Nate had been telling the truth. To her surprise her heart skipped a beat and she felt confused by its reaction. She rationalized that it was just relief that the father of her child was a decent human being after all, but she knew that wasn’t it. If anything, the past twenty-four hours proved that he was worthy to be Noah’s father as he’d sat patiently waiting by Noah’s bedside. She’d walked in when he’d been talking to Noah’s sedated body, sharing more information with her son than she’d ever known about him. He never spoke about why he wasn’t up to being a parent but she finally understood why he’d felt that way. From the sounds of his background, he’d done an amazing job taking on the responsibility with Noah. Brielle was suddenly very grateful.
She grabbed the coffees and walked back to Noah’s hospital room. Nate was just rousing from his sleep and she handed him a coffee as he gazed at her through sleepy eyes.
“Thanks,” he muttered. “How long was I out?”
“Not long. Twenty minutes or so.”
“Did he wake at all?”
“No.” He looked so sad and disappointed as he sipped his coffee that Brielle wanted to envelope him in her arms as she’d done when she walked in earlier and saw him break down. She’d done the one thing that felt most natural to her at the time and it seemed like it was just what he’d needed.